Chapter 18

Nathan smiled before he opened his eyes. Her perfume lingered on his pillow. He stretched his arm and turned his head to feel sick. Pushing himself up, he realized he was by himself.

He confirmed his fears, seeing no traces of her scattered around his room. After grabbing lounge pants from his closet, he rushed back to his bed. No, he wasn't making things up, she really wasn't there but the sickness of her disappearance was. He wanted her to stay, not return to the guest house. Didn't she realize last night was more than a moment?

"Belle?! Belle have you seen–" Typing in his phone, Nathan hadn't stepped all the way into the kitchen when he received an answer.

"An emergency sent her home," she answered, removing the crispy French toast from the skillet. Nathan paused, eyeing her strangely. Her answer was too calm.

She threw him a fleeting glance before asking, "What is it, Nathan?"

"You don't seem worried."

"Nathaniel?" She used his full name, and felt more trouble flitting around his belly when she asked, "How was the gallery opening?"

"It was the best night I've had in a long time." He looked down fondly. The memory of her bled into his mind just as quickly as her disappearance, angered that she left without as much as a text. A stab in his heart.

Belle turned off the burner and put down the spatula. "And how much do you care for her?"

Nathan shivered inside his skin. He had no desire to lie about his feelings, yet he still felt caught. He struggled to describe his feelings, but his silence was provocative enough.

"Of course, I knew how you felt about Mary from the very beginning. That's why I was so protective of her."

Belle moved from the stove and toward him and his confused face. "You pushed her away once, but when you brought her back, you tried. It's been so long since I've seen your kindness. And around her, it rests in your eyes and in the ways you look at her. You disappeared into your own world when she was in that gown, I was surprised you could ever hear me when you only saw her. I've never seen you this way before, but it would have been cruel for me to interfere with the company you keep."

He tipped his head and sighed, "I know. I ended things with–"

"Did you?" Belle interrupted harshly.

He raised his voice. "Yes. I couldn't do it anymore. No more fake bullshit, no more superficial relationships."

She moved her shoulders expressively. "Good, but the nature of your work requires the latter. Which brings me to beg the question: does Karina understand this?"

"Yes!"

"Yet she has sent me emails this morning."

"For what?" His eyes darkened at the thought of Karina threatening Belle to get to him.

"For the ceremony, Nathan!" Belle shouted. Nathan felt a wave of panic push him upright.

"I see the change in you, but it's going to take more work for others who hardly ever saw you to notice. Karina is a lovely girl when she chooses to be, but you knew she was never right for you as it never evolved from business. But that doesn't mean she doesn't deserve the decency of clarity."

He covered his face and pulled his hands down. "I fucked up."

"I love you, so be a man and fix it. Unfortunately, the ceremony is tomorrow. What are you going to do Nathan?"

✧ ✧ ✧

He faked a smile amidst a few camera flashes. He wouldn't have shown up at all. But Abraham tried his hand with the organizers who promised to donate a substantial donation to a local children's hospital if he attended. He tried to convince his publicist he could arrive alone, but Nathan was reminded immediately of the media storm that would brew from her fans and he couldn't afford the petty media squabble and rumors circulating online. He knew gossip had the potential to evolve into a war against reputations and false allegations.

The City Online Image Awards were a joke, he thought miserably. These were trophies from the rich patting themselves on the back for going online and saying what they should be doing anyhow. Karina was nominated for the city's humanitarian award. Yet he struggled to understand how filming a few vlogs with Black and Latino children in community centers a year ago absolved her from making an appearance at a notorious racist's party.

To his surprise, Karina won and he listened to a painful speech about forgiveness and solidarity.

Cameras hovered everywhere and he fought not to roll his eyes but his agitation wasn't solely for feeling stuck. Under the table, he pulled his phone and went through his pictures. God he needed her again, he thought. In a split second, he was back to the night before, feeling her. He had hoped for so long he could conceal his feelings, but he struggled not to kiss her seeing that dress hanging on her body again. He felt at his best beside her, but being with her was indescribable. He was spoiled last night with so many firsts from tasting her lips and hearing the yearns of pleasure as he made love to her. Why did she have to go? She belonged in his bed.

Karina returned to her seat beside him. She attempted to include him in a shot with her vlog camera with her award, but he leaned away.

She shut off the camera. "What is your problem?"

"I told you." He snarled. "Enough."

"This is the longest tantrum and I'm sick of it."

He commanded through his teeth."Starting now, I will slowly disappear from your socials. The press will eventually pick up on our breakup and neither of us will craft drama around it because we came to a mutual agreement that we grew apart. Do you understand?"

She scoffed and grinned, "So the relationship can be public but not the breakup?"

"Don't make this difficult, Karina. I meant what I said. I'm here for contractual reasons, nothing more."

Her voice trembled, "So this whole time you were with me for what?"

"At first it was all optics and we knew that." He continued carefully, seeing her glistening eyes. "But I did care about you. So our relationship was real... for a little while. Then it was back to optics because that's all that matters to you."

"Suddenly, you're supposed to be the good guy?" she snarled. "You used me as much as I used you. That's all you'll ever know how to be in a relationship– a user. You're a sorry, self-loathing loser, who couldn't get his daddy's approval before he died and think taking over his legacy will make you worth something. No, Nathan, your entire life is optics. I mean look at your mansion. What mentally stable person lives in a mall-sized property like that with two little maids? You have the elderly and a mute chick as your help. How's that for optics? "

He seethed with a rage almost blinding. She was more than out of line, talking about his family and others he cared for. Nathan almost stormed away from the table, but he remembered: this was business.

She had to keep talking. "I'm going to remind you of the truth: you're still a piece of shit, Nathan."

"And not all you've cheated on me with are nobodies."

She opened and closed her mouth, stopped herself. Her nostrils flared as she held her anger within. After the ceremony, Abraham circled behind them and urged them towards the swarm of journalists and cameras. Karina advanced with her award, but Nathan moved in the opposite direction.

Abraham darted back and hissed, "Where are you going?!"

"Home. I did what I needed to do now I need you to hold up your end."

"My end of what? I heard your voicemail about breaking up with her, but are you crazy? She is becoming one of the most popular influencers online, this is great for both of you."

"I believe I was very clear in my message," Nathan growled.

"Yes, you were very clear. Clear in the fact that you are trying to work my damn nerves! What the fuck are you doing? You went out in public with your maid, on a date?"

Nathan's eyes widened.

"Yeah, did you think no one would say anything about Nathan Vanderbilt showing up with another woman at a high-end art gallery auction? I have eyes everywhere. And I hate finding out that my clients are pulling major stunts I didn't coordinate."

"Abraham, I can't even pretend anymore. I appreciate the work you've done for me, but this forced relationship with Karina exhausted itself a long time ago. I don't like the vlogging, I don't care for the phone constantly hovering in my face, and I don't care to be in a loveless relationship."

"Do you like your maid?" Abraham asked abruptly. "You know what? I don't care if you do or don't. Stay hush about your live-in girl. Do whatever you want, but in secret. I mean it's perfect, right? She already lives with you, just don't date her in public. I don't want to clean up a media frenzy over a cheating scandal."

"You sure that won't benefit you?" He asked sarcastically.

"Trust me, I've thought about it. But no it won't because influencers gain more popularity when they're partnered. Therefore, I'm not going to let your request to disappear go so easily."

Nathan felt his gut plummet. This wasn't happening, he thought.

"Another thing. I need you to show up in any of Burke's vlogs because this will benefit you and me. Get it together Nathan!" He clapped. "Here's an idea. Buy her an expensive gift, throw her a surprise party. I don't care. Just pretend to like her in public and online so no one has to out you and that quiet chick."

"You wouldn't dare."

He pointed and hissed, "Anyone would. We're sharks honey, and our world will do whatever it takes. And you don't want random sources to put your little lover out there and embarrass her so badly she'll never speak to you again. Oh, wait..."

Abraham smirked before he left Nathan in his sickness.