You hear some shuffling
"Where is he?" you hear someone whispering.
"I'm here sorry, I was still smoking." Someone says with a slight chuckle.
"Are you nervous?"
"Not really, you need to learn how to talk in my profession. And I have heard it is isn't that bad. Who was here before me?" You hear as someone puts down a new glass and a carafe.
"Siena." A deeper voice responds.
"Oh than I have nothing to worry about, well, no shade to hear obviously." He says with a chuckle.
"Everything is ready."

An extremely elegant young man walks into the frame, his silky dark hair is resting on his shoulders as he fixes his silk gentlemen's square. He is wearing a dark blue suit and matching cravat, his powder pink shirt beautifully compliments it as the heavy eye makeup he is wearing almost distracts from the sensible outfit. If you would only see the face you would bet he is a beautiful woman rather than a man. But the way he sits down and crosses his legs with arrogance that is translated into confidence. Or perhaps it is not arrogance at all. He gently touches a locket before tucking it into his shirt and fidgeting with a ring before switching to fidgeting with his signet ring.

"This chair is funnily comfortable." He says with a chuckle. Funnily enough he seems approachable when he talks but awful if he does not.
"Yeah we picked it because of that reason."
He picks up the glass of water. "Do you maybe have something a bit stronger? Everything is alright really. But I'll need it." He says with a mischievous laugh.
"We have scotch, is that alright?"
"Perfect."

Someone walks into the frame and puts the glass and crystal bottle on the small table.
"Thank you so much."
"You can do this love." Someone softly says in the background before the clapperboard shuts.

"Nice to meet you, can you introduce yourself briefly?"
He straightens his back and smiles. "My name is Ezra Montgomery Algernon Barclay, I used to be a professional polo player which is why I carry my mothers maiden name for now. I am the heir of the Duke of Devonshire, and the best lawyer of great Britain at the moment. Although I have focused on family law for a few years." He takes a sip of the scotch and smiles. "You must find ways to advertise yourself right? But I am here because I am part of the grieving six, regretfully I could say, but I don't know I if I will." He says with a smile.

"Who decided you should go to the camp?"
He folds his hands together on his lap and slowly looks up as the camera slowly zooms into the eyes that seem to be out of focus the whole time. He sharply exhales that almost seems like a laugh without laughing. "I was sent to the camp by my psychologist, which honestly seems like a really healthy way to be sent there. She also convinced my parents. My parents, especially my mum, weren't a big fans of it at first. They thought it was somehow too primitive. As if I hadn't slept in the woods while I was hammered with my mates. Oh shite, I never told my mum can you cut that???" he shakes his head. "Oh wow those times were good. Anyway, my psychologist told her that it wouldn't be a terrible difference from boarding school. And so it was decided. I remember not having a say in it but also not minding that I did not have to decide."
He looks down at his dry hand and slowly inhales again, before chuckling and taking a sip from the liquor.
"Sorry if I am being slow, you can cut these things right? I might take a little more time but I assure you I'll somehow find the words." He smiles and looks into the camera, slightly tilting his head. "I also think I liked not making these kind of decisions because if something bad happened it was their fault and I could be angry at them. And every teenager likes that don't they?" he says with a chuckle.

"Are you grateful you came to camp?"

"Um, I mean who wouldn't be grateful to leave the comfort of their home and come to a camp that reminds them over and over again of their grief and loss that they're trying to forget?"

You hear many people laugh.

"I mean, don't get me wrong. The camp was very helpful. Many people have been helped so much by it. For some people it was probably great. It could've been helpful."

"Did it help you?"

"I think the camp tried to help everyone and they weren't doing a bad job. They try to do a great job." He takes a sip of his drink.

"What where your first thoughts on camp?"

"Well, everything was okay. It was just how I expected the camp to be. The only thing I couldn't predict was how the other campers would behave. But besides that it wasn't really anything special. I mean I just wondered why it was so immensely important you know? Like what could they do for me or my mental health that my therapist back at home couldn't? Not to mention I could sleep on a proper mattress there...."

"Do you remember the first thing you did at camp?"

"Oh the first thing I thought when I walked into the rooms was...oh no. I mean I knew a room in a camp wouldn't be so magnificent but really...no offense to the camp but seriously! I know this sounds a bit arrogant but it just wasn't what I was used to. I'm used to a more lavish lifestyle and the room wasn't just...I wasn't satisfied with it. So I decided to add a little touch ups here and there to make it a bit more comfortable. Fortunately, it was allowed if not I wouldn't have survived. So I guess you could say it was quite productive and in the end it looked great."

"Who was your first friend at camp?"

"Initially I didn't want to have friends at camp. It just wasn't something that was on my mind but my goodness Arthur wouldn't let me be." A faint blush creeps up his cheeks. "I would be deliberately be mean to him to get him to back off but it was like all he could see was rainbows!" He chuckles. "Eventually, I ended up being less cold to him and we've been so close ever since." He smiles warmly. "If I knew how important he'd be to me later on, I wouldn't have acted the way I did on the first day."

"How did you act towards him on the first day?"

He smiles sheepishly and takes a sip of his drink.

"I was just coming back from the orientation and found him in the room. I didn't bother to speak with him much but I did point out that he just missed the orientation and he said he knew that. He asked me if I could tell him the things he missed but I didn't. I was quite mean about it too" He laughs and you can also hear people in the background laughing. "I told him that I wasn't responsible for his missing out and that if he wanted he should go ask someone else or something like that. Look...I'm not proud of the moment but it happened. It's alright though. We joke about it all the time."

"What is something about the camp that made it worth it?"

"My experience at camp taught me a lot of things. A lot of things about myself, about life, about the world. I don't think I could wish to change my past...as strange as that sounds. I wouldn't because it's what shapes us to be who we are isn't it? If I change my past, I'd be changing myself. I won't be the man you're seeing here today. I wouldn't have learnt a lot of valuable lessons and I'm proud of who I've become as a result of everything. So the lessons I've learnt. That's one thing I wouldn't trade for anything."

"Very wise words, Lord Ezra."

He laughs. "Thank you. I don't always say sensible things so I'm glad." You hear laughter.

"What is something about the camp that made you wish you never came?"
His straightened back slowly slumps and his shoulders slowly rise as he breaks eye contact with the camera. There's a brief shot where you can see the way he digs his nails into the palms of his hand. He bites his lip and smiles. "Could we skip this question?" He says while he regains his composure and stares at the glass as he refills it.
"Well, we technically anticipated answers on every question."
"I would really rather not talk about it." He says kindly as he regains a smile, but this time one that hides the damp weather in his eyes. Before taking a sip of the liquor.
"I just think..."
"I need a break." He says as he gets up and puts the glass down.

You hear some shuffling in the background.
"I can't do this." You hear faintly over and over again as the camera unfocuses again and again on the empty chair.
"Take a deep breath Ez. You can always stop."

Ezra walks into frame again. He sits down and shakes his head.
"Sorry for that outburst, I am not usually like that at all." He says with a smile, tilting his head slightly in a way someone does when admiring a certain thing.
"You sure you don't need a longer break."
"No everything is absolutely perfect."

"What would you like to clear up for the public?"
"I think one of the most important things I have found out in my experience with the grieving six is that adults should not rush the grieving process of young people. Or other adults for that matter. People will figure it out, I have faith in that. There just needs to be a possibility of asking for help. So ask your friends and loved ones how they're doing, how they are truly doing. Don't expect something, just try to include them by thinking about them." He smiles and nods. "Also, I am not against camps like these. But, and it is a very large but, even though these camps want the best for your child, and you want the best for your child not all people in the world are trustworthy. Children need a phone, they need to have possibility to escape a toxic climate without getting lost in the woods for several months. Let your children heal but always let them have the voice and authority to rethink their bad or good decisions. Give them the chance to opt out rather than forcing progress."

"If I may ask, Why did you run away?"
He chuckles, "Oh come on that outburst wasn't that bad. I don't bite. I only freak out." He says with a bright laugh. "I felt unsafe, I felt controlled, I was a teenager hated both of those feelings with quite a good reason if I may say so myself." He fidgets with his signet ring. "I had been taught survival when I was young. So It wasn't a difficult decision for me. I was a very.....tough child. A bit of a problem child really, I hated everything and everyone. I felt that I was not healing from the camp I think. If I put aside some other factors I would say that this might have been the reason. I think I might not have wanted to get better, guilt was deserved and I had no authority to decide to heal from it."

If you could do this again the exact same way would you?
"No, definitely not. I was a most disagreeable teenager, I was in denial, I was mean, I was....an asshole really. Furthermore, even though most of the no is that I do not want to repeat my own mistakes a bitter portion is also that I would rather not have other mistakes done to me or witnessed by maybe. Although I believe that I would be a worse person without my experience in the alps, I also know that my life would be a lot easier, then, and now." He smiles. "But thankfully we cannot do it again, because it has happened already and we have grown. It was a fortunate torture if you will. And I would not replace some of the wonderful experiences we have had, truly remarkable it was, there was so much raw emotion, it was the time I have fallen in love with life again. And some things that happened back than have been the catalysts for my beautiful life now." He dreamily looks up at one of the lights. "There is no easy way to say this really. Or to give a clear answer." He says with tears in his eyes. "I will love my time spent absolutely free from society. I'll cherish it forever."

"Well done Ezra, that's all for now."
I take a deep breath and wipe the tear I have suppressed for a while.
"I'm sorry for exploding like that."
"Emotion is a dangerous thing, but we all need it." One of the crew says and I smile.
"You are all far too kind."

I take a deep breath and look at my trembling hands before I walk towards the door.
"Monty?"
"Not now, Will." I say not even looking at him as I walk out of the studio.

I light struggle lighting my cigarette as the rain slowly attaches my long hair onto my forehead. For the record this is self-destructive and for the record, I am perfectly aware of that. But what is better? Cutting into yourself every time you think about a period in life? (which my the way I have long left behind. Knives are overrated.) or a helpful documentary that clears imagines of people and helps me comes to term with vulnerability. Because why do I still fear it in these fleeting moments? I have a perfect life even if I would be honest with myself so why do you still feel the need to be silent? The lighter will not I have the urge to throw the lighter away.

"That's still littering Ezra." I hear behind me while I feel a hand on my shoulder.