"Everyone up now!" Someone down the hall yells. Their voice is foggy. I imagine a megaphone. "Today is field day. We have decided you guys will be joining, since you all will," The voice pauses, "Or hopefully will, all be aleph citizens. Get ready this morning and eat. An overnight bag will be provided. Be back and ready in your dorms in 45 minutes."

Field day. How could I forget today is field day? I guess the whole memory loss thing made me forget that today must be November 20th. November 20th is one of the worst days of the year. Why? Every year they load all the Aleph kids up on a bus for a 2-day field trip and take them through all of the towns. I think it is a scared straight tactic. Just show them how terrible our lives are, so they will work hard to stay in Aleph. Even though it's nearly impossible to downgrade a town. Even fast-food jobs here pay enough to get you into Aleph or Beyt because people here have enough money to pay twenty dollars on a burger. I'm sure it's great being on the other side of it. Being in an AC bus seeing the other towns learning fun facts for 2 days then going home to your cozy life. But for us, like I said. it is the worst day. A bunch of kids in a machine that we could only dream of riding in either making fun of you, your clothes, your house. Or even worse looking at you like you are an animal in a cage. They give you a look of interest and pity. I would take the pointing and laughter over that.

I rush ahead to get in a shower so I don't have to see Lemma. I shuffle to a stall. Not refreshed at all from my sleep and hop into the shower. Standing there I decided not to leave until I am ready to see Lemma. I hear people coming in and out. I take my time lathering my body, face, and hair with soap. This is the life. Haven would love to stand in this limitless shower. He could shower every day for as long as he wants.

I sigh trying too hard not to think about last night. But I can't lock it out of my mind. I am going to see Lemma this morning I think. I can't let her get to me. I will ignore her to show she did not affect me. Or should I stare at her so she knows I'm not intimidated? I think through strategies and their outcomes as best as I can. They all end in the same conclusion: I just should have fought back last night. Which is always my conclusion in these situations. It's all my fault. I stand in the shower kicking myself. Come on, Luna, just be like Taylor. I close my eyes, but I don't want to be like Taylor. She can't keep friends and barely family. I also can't be myself. I must find a space in between. Not black, not white, but grey.

I get out of the shower shortly after. When I am washing my face I can't help but notice my jaw has a deep bruise- not terrible but definitely noticeable. I try to cover it with my jet black hair. It works... not really.

After a couple of failed attempts, I realize this is going nowhere, and I need to get food before we leave.  I grab a tray, getting in line behind Abbot.

"How did you sleep last night?" I ask.

"Okay, you?" I know the ok was a lie because there are bags under his eyes. They are red from what I'm going to guess is crying. He looks up from his tray which is now filled with waffles and fruit. "Oh my god! Luna, your face, what happened?"

"I just... I fell in the shower last night." I answer. I guess this is the cover-up story I'm going with. But why do I need a cover story? I didn't do anything.

Abbot laughs. "Wow, and Nevx calls me a clutz."

"Yeah," I fake laugh, I'm just glad he is laughing. His mood is a big improvement from last night. "Are you feeling okay?" I ask cautiously even though I know he will not get mad or defensive.

"Yeah, I mean. Well, you know." He pauses, "Or you don't," he stops again "We were really good friends when he trained here. I just don't understand why," his voice breaks.

I set my hand on his back "It's okay Abbot. Just hold on right now, we will figure it out later."

He nods "I'm just. I feel awful. I should be a leader. I should have helped more last night."

I smile, "That's a lie. There is no way we could have gotten the address without you distracting the security guard."

He smirks, "Yeah next time just wait for me to get to the roof before sending everyone into a frenzy."

"I can't make any promises." He laughs which makes me smile. I like seeing him happy. Sad abbot reminds me of a small puppy. Just sulking.

When I sit down I realize all the tables are bustling talking about what happened to their rooms last night. I see in my peripheral vision Lemma at the table across. But I don't look at her. I have settled on just ignoring them.

"I bet, Jess sent in people to find something one of us is hiding. Or maybe an indicator that we are the chosen one." Fischer tells the table.

"Fischer for the last time no one cares about your theories." Nevx shoves a forkful of sausage in her mouth.

"Remi liked them."

Nevx pauses. I have never seen her hesitate, "Yeah but Remi is not here... he is in his old town."

Fischer points his finger in the air. "Unless my theory is right?"

I lean forward, "What theory?"

"The one that they don't let us back to our old towns because we know too much. Remember I told you last week?"

Great. Now I'm trapped. "Oh yeah. That one." I lie.

"I Haven't heard that one." Zayn speaks up. Saving me. He looks at me to nod as you're welcome but ends up doing a double-take at my jaw. I feel like I am taken back to my first breakfast here. Or the first one I remember when he gave me that same nod after saving me in a different conversation. That's back when I thought he had something to do with all this. That he might want to hurt me.

"Well, the theory is they don't let us back to our old towns because we know too much. If we go back and tell them about the lectures that might start tension." Like Ferris does not have any tension. Everyone openly speaks about how much they hate Aleph. "They make us work here, and just make a rule if we associate with anyone," He pauses laughing, "We get fired or something maybe? I don't know about that last part."

Death I think. That's the last part.

When we are done eating we headed back to our rooms. I enter the room the first person I see is Lemma. My stomach instantly drops. She still looks angry from last night. Her eyes are red as if she was just crying. Why would she be upset? I'm the one who got punched in the face. I make my bed as slowly as I can trying to look busy. Soon after we are fetched to get on a bus. As we walk downstairs and are escorted to our bus there are a bunch of security guards sounding us. Like one of us would try to make a break for it. Everyone is so glad to have this once in a lifetime opportunity, other than me.

A gust of cool air blows my hair as we go outside. Hundreds of buses lined down the street. Every kid in Aleph will be on this bus trip. The streets are packed with kids. I noticed for the first time that as far as I can see down the street almost everyone is white. Zayn, Nevx, and a couple of Hispanic people in the program are the only people who are not white.

Bryan, our teacher strolls up to us with his hands in his pockets. He is wearing socks and sandals and his fro is like a loose halo around his head.

"Hey, kiddos. So I am assigned to your bunk. So how this is going to work is we have a sleeping bus, which is bus 14 and that's just for your bunk and only for sleeping. Bus 16 is where you will eat and take the tour. So sleep in 14. In the morning go to 16. Capeesh?" His voice is very relaxed. Almost completely tuned out by the noise of all the other kids.

We all nod.

Bryan explains to us that we need to walk blocks in the direction that he points at so lightly it's practically to the sky. We walk in that direction anyway. Which I'm pretty sure is north.

Nevx and Abbot lead with me and Zayn closely in back. Lemma and Ellis are a block behind us. Lemma realized she forgot something and Ellis was the only person who would stay behind with her. Or she didn't volunteer; it was more lack of volunteering that got her stuck with her.

"So I guess we will not be going to Joshua's for a couple of days." I push a disappointed breath out. If it were not for field day I would try to visit him tonight.

"Yeah most likely." Zayn then furrowed his eyebrows. "What happened to your jaw?"

"Shower," I answer quickly. I realize why I didn't tell the truth this morning. Even though I didn't do anything wrong, I feel like it's my fault. If I was tougher she would not have hit me. And it's just embarrassing one punch was enough to keep me down.

"What town are you from?" I ask looking down every street we pass. Dozens of buses are lined up them. Even though we just walked these streets last night it still looks like a different place in the sunlight.

"Byte." He scratches the back of his head.

"What was it like there?"

"Pretty much the same as here, just not as nice and smaller." He drops his hand down. "Actually it's the exact same layout just across the street and buildings are dirtier. Well, I guess you'll see it. And we don't have certain jobs like lawyers or doctors."

"Huh." I pause. "What was your family like?"

He scratches his neck again, "It's just me, my baby sister, my mom, and dad."

"How old is your sister?"

"She is one. Or she turned one a couple of weeks ago." He shakes his head in disapproval.

"Oh sorry." I got too personal, I guess.

"No, nothing about you. I just," His eyes scan the sidewalk. "God, I just miss her."

I don't know how to react. I know Abbot wants comforting but Zayn is a different book of rules. A book I've never read. I set my hand on his back just like I did this morning.

But he just laughs sliding away. "Luna, you really don't remember me do you?"

What in the world does that even mean? Like this is all a joke and I am pulling a prank that my memory got wiped.

I look at the sun bright and vibrant. This is the dream. Thousands of people want to be me. Be in Aleph and have an opportunity here. As we walk I notice a couple of people look Zayn up and down. Some with disgust then I see a lady look legitimately scared. Why are they scared of him?

"Are you nervous?" I ask.

"For what?"

"Seeing your old town. Possibly seeing your family, but only through a window."

He tilts his head back and forth. "Well, I highly doubt I'll see my family since Beyt is still massive. And being in my old town... I'm more nervous about how it will make me feel." He still only looks ahead "Are you?"

"Yeah, yes. I mean, I will just want to stay there. Get off the bus and have my old life."

"Even if you could go back right now. Do you really think your life would be the same?"

I open my mouth to ask what he means then I notice Nevx and Abbot and her walking a little too close to each other, their hands brushing against each other. Still locked in on them I hit Zayn to get his attention.

"Woah Luna wh-"

I put my hand to his lips and shush him. He raises his eyebrows questioning me. Dropping my hand and pointing to their hands which are now so close they are practically holding them without holding them. His mouth opens a little and his grins, hard. He looks back at me. His eyes asked me if I knew.

I shrug, "I had no idea" I mouth.

"Alright, this is it right?" Zayn says a little too loud.

Their hands dart away from each other. How could they forget we were here? I look up and see the bus 16. It is black and one side is glass. It has bleacher-like steps going up to it so everyone can have a view to see out the window. But rather than bleachers it holds big cozy chairs. I feel ashamed of myself for riding in this. Haven would be so disappointed. This is the bus I would try to convince Haven to walk a different route so we didn't get passed.

He always refused "I want the aleph ladies to see me. Maybe they will take me back with them." I would laugh. He is the only person that can make me laugh that often.

When we get on it's about half full I sit in the back with Zayn, Nevx, and Abbot.

It takes about 20 minutes for the bus to fill up. I look at my watch it's 7 am. No wonder I'm so tired. They make an announcement over the speakers that between traffic and the long route it will be at least 2 hours before we are out of aleph so now would be a good time if we need to nap. Before they finish their announcement I am asleep.

"Alright everyone as you can see we are about to leave aleph..." A calm voice booms from speakers about us. It's one of those voices that they probably have to turn the speakers up all the way, It's so soft. I lean up rubbing my eyes. Where am I? I look to my left, where Zayn sits, and my right September is still sleeping. I instantly wish I would have taken the seat next to Abbot.

Lemma and her friends are in the front row. Thank god for a safe distance. A group of a couple of aleph boys sits in the front being as loud and obnoxious as ever. A girl just walked past them on the street, thank god there is glass because they were saying "what they would do to her".

As we drive through the rest of aleph to get to the border I realize just as much diversity lacks here. It's all men, and above that, all white men. Every once in a while there will be a woman but even then 9 out of 10 she is white also...

When we arrive at the border there is a huge gate about 5 times as tall as the gate surrounding our town. And stretches forever. It's also a much nicer gate ours is just a chain-link but there is white and is in polls going upward. I'm pretty surprised that the huge buildings or as Abbot informed "Skyscrapers" go right up to the border. Our bus slowly passes through this never-ending gate. Which also has 3 layers with a 3 feet gap between them. As if anyone would want to leave aleph. I don't know whether I expect this to also be the entrance to beyt or us to drive for a couple of hours. I never really thought about it.

September wakes up "What did I miss?" She has red hair. The color of autumn leaves. That's probably why she was named September.

"We just crossed out of aleph," Zayn answers before me. He is picking up on the tension, or at least on my half.

"What happened to your jaw, Luna?" She directs the question at me this time.

"Shower." I instantly become self-conscious about it. This is not a bruise, this is evidence I am weak.

"Huh, this morning?" She asks.

"No last night." I stare out the window. Around us is ruins. It's like aleph if it was abandoned for a couple of hundred years. That's probably what it is. The sidewalks are ripped up and a lot of the buildings are also. Some of them are falling over. The bus ride is bumpy from uneven concrete. Sometimes there will be such a sharp slant one side of the bus will be a couple feet higher than the other side.

After 30 minutes we are about to enter Beyt according to Bryan. I look at Zayn; he is breathing a little too fast, and rather than sitting back he is hunched over. I decided not to say anything because I feel like it would do more harm here. Plus comforting people is not my strong suit. Mostly because I have never had to.

"Hey everyone here is beyt!" He announces it about 10 minutes too early because we get stuck in traffic right at the gate crossing. When we finally cross into beyt I am surprised at its similarities, but at this point, I will probably think dalet looks the same also.

"Beyt has a population of 150,000. That's three times the size of aleph. It is a..."

I look out the more we drive through it I do see little differences. I look through the top of the bus which is glass. A lot of the buildings are shorter. The streets are a little dirtier. I look at Zayn. His eyes are desperately scanning the streets. Locked on every side street, car that goes by. He is looking for his family. I know I should not think this but I hope he doesn't see them. The same way I hope I don't see mine.

Beyt after 30 minutes just all looks the same. I swear we have driven past a couple of streets already. Zayn still scans. His butt is barely even on his seat because he is leaning forward so much. The voice which I realize has to be Bryans keeps on going, spilling the fun facts. This person once worked here before they moved to aleph. That is the building and so owned before they started their company. He just keeps on going about people I don't care about and where their dog was adopted.

Once it even got so bad as Bryan announcing, "There is a photo of Tahtaiyona Griffin standing on that street corner." I have no idea who that is. One street we look down there's something that actually looks interesting, it's some kind of room that is inbuilt into a rock.

"What's that?" I ask Zayn

"It's an old mine." His eyes still scanning.

"I think we have one of those at my school in the basement."

"Yeah, every town has a mine." His tone is not rude. Or it is, but I know he's somewhere else right now.

We drive through the town for about another hour an endless stream of facts that I couldn't care less about. Most of it circles back to people we learned about the first month. Which only makes it more boring. "Remember Claire Reed who we talked about the first week? Her cousin used to go to that school."

I would have guessed most of the kids on the bus would be the same as me, if not less interested, but most of them are in awe- finding this amazing. They treat these people as idols. Praising them, pointing out where their cousin went to school, where they used to get their hair done, there is their ex-boyfriend's brother's house. It's so obsessive. I imagine people driving past my house pointing to it, people going and looking at the little patch of grass Haven and I would sit on in the morning, people stopping Dax and asking him what I was like as a student. That sounds like a nightmare. Why is this the dream?

I look over to Zayn and he looks mentally exhausted for scanning this long. I hope we get out of Beyt soon so he can relax...