Sirius
Remus
Not in texting
Flashback

"And then this idiot right here-" James nudged Sirius "-decided it would be a good idea to jump off the bloody roof!"

Sirius threw his hands in the air like the drama king he is. "It was one story up!"

"It got us suspended!"

Remus couldn't contain his laughter anymore and he clutched at his stomach. He leaned on Sirius, laughter erupting from him. The other boy smiled down at him and quickly Remus felt his face heat up. Clearly Black had noticed and soon a scarlet color covered both boys cheeks.

James cleared his throat and got up. He picked up all three of their plates and rushed off to the kitchen, leaving Sirius and Remus alone.

Remus moved away from his friend slightly. Friend, he reminded himself. That's all.

Sirius looked away and quickly got up. "Er, let's go to my room while the others clean up. We can pick out a movie for when they're done."

He nodded and followed the Black up the stairs and to his room. Sirius dramatically flopped down on his bed. He shot Remus a grin and gestured to the collection of CD's stacked across three whole shelves against his wall.

The light brown haired boy sat down on the floor and trailed his finger across the CD case's. "You sure have a lot of them."

"Yup!" Sirius slid down from his bed so he sat next to him. He pointed to a section of the CD's. "They're all sorted into genre sections. Classics, Thriller, Action, Fantasy, Mainstream, and favorites."

Remus chuckled only certain that three of the ones he listed were actually genres. His eyes shifted to the section that must have Sirius' favorites. One disc in particular caught his attention.

His eyes lit up as he reached forward and pulled the item off the shelf. Panic seemed to wash over Sirius as he yelped and quickly took the disc from his friends hand. "Hehe, don't know what that's doing there. Uh, I'm just going to go give it back to James and then we can-"

"Oh no you don't," Remus snickered as he tugged the CD out of the boys hand. It wasn't hard to tell he was lying. Besides, Remus had already seen what movie it was. Avatar. "There is nothing to be embarrassed about. This movie-" he waved the disc in his hand "-is one of my favorites to."

He was glad to know someone other than just Padfoot shared his love for the epic film. Thinking of Pads made something inside him ache. He wanted to talk to the lovable idiot after being deprived of his texting time by Peter earlier. He wanted to thank him again for the way he helped him when he was panicking.

Side eyeing Sirius and the blush that was creeping up his face, Remus knew he was in trouble. Why couldn't his life be normal? Why did he have to fall so hard for two guys at the same time? It would be so much easier if he could pick between them. Part of his conscience was telling him that liking Pads was the safer option because he'd known him longer but the other part of him argued that at least he knew who Sirius was and that he isn't some online stalker.

So yeah, just an average hormonal teacher at war with himself in his head over two boys. He was so screwed.

"You like Avatar to," Sirius said, almost shy. Remus tried not to laugh at how uncharacteristic is was for the other boy.

"Yeah! It's one of the best movies ever!" He fangirled. "Like that scene where Jake flies in on Toruk Makto! That was awesome!"

Sirius smiled but still shook his head as if challenging him. "Yeah but the best scene by far was when all the creatures rushed in to aid them and Neytiri shouted-"

"'Eywa has heard you!'" Both boys yelled the quote together. Their eyes met and they succumbed to fits of laughter, subconsciously leaning closer. Remus rested his hand on Sirius' shoulder to help him support himself while he strained to catch his breath. Once he was no longer laughing so hard he couldn't breath he looked up only for his breath to be stolen away again.

His gaze was faced with undeniably beautiful grey eyes the color of the late evening London fog. Long lashes, the slight trace of eyeliner. He was so close to Sirius he could point out the smallest little flakes off black closer to the outside rim of his irises.

His sight didn't remain on his eyes for long though. He looked down at his lips, slightly parted and very, very desirable. Remus felt something in side him jump. His heart? His mind short circuiting? His stomach dropping from nerves? He didn't know which anymore.

Those lips that Remus found himself craving inched closer to his own. He dipped his head down, his eyes closing on their own accord. He could feel his heart rate picking up as both him and the boy in front of his started to move forward as well. He couldn't believe this, It was actually happeni-

"Hey guys! Dishes are done so time to set up the mov- ah!"

The two boys jumped away from each other as a familiar voice reached their ears.  Remus' face flushed as he looked to the door and saw James standing their with his hands over his eyes. He felt a frown work it's way onto his face.

Really James, he wanted to shout. Had to ruin that, didn't you?

Remus couldn't help but feel somewhat deflated. He wanted so badly to have been able to freely continue what had been about to happen but at the same time he wished he hadn't even started to initiate whatever that was. He was going to scare away Sirius if he kept up with this.

"Jay!" Sirius gasped, eyes wide. The boy quickly ducked his head so strands of his hair fell in his face as if trying to cover the scarlet color creeping across his features. "We'll um, be down there soon.

Remus nodded when James pried his hands away from his face and sent a subtle glance his way as if apologizing and somehow asking if he was good with that at the same time. That seemed to be enough for Potter as he hurriedly bolted out of the room and down the stairs.

Awkward silence seemed to fall upon the two without the buffer there anymore. It wasn't until Remus spoke up that the tension snapped. "We still... uh, need to pick out that movie."

"Oh! Right!"  Sirius' eyes lit up at the excuse for a distraction other then what just about happened between them.

Remus ignored Sirius as he excitedly started listing off all the movies he could choose from. He was still too lost in thought, trying to calm his hammering heart rate, to do anything productive. He tried counting to five and that seemed to work somewhat. He still felt like his insides had been dipped in fire though so he settled for scanning Sirius' room again.

There were a few things that had slipped past his mind the last couple of times he'd been in Sirius' room. The poster of some rock band, Fall out man, or something like that Remus thinks they're called. He also spotted a dent in the wall near the door frame. He didn't even want to know what incident that had came from.

There was one last thing that caught the boys attention. Something so obvious yet he'd never seen before even though it looked like it had been there for ages. The picture Remus had spotted rested on the drawer beside him. He narrowed his eyes as he took a closer look at it.

In the photograph there were four boys with the biggest smiles on their faces, all of them sitting in a tree. One of them was hanging upside down with his tongue out, his round glasses on the verge of falling off his nose. The boy in the branch just to the left of him was shyly smiling, his knuckles turning white as he gripped the tree so tightly the wood should have snapped.

Another boy had his arm wrapped around the shoulders of the last, his eyes squinting he was smiling so brightly. The last boy, he was sitting cross legged in the tree, leaning into the boy with his arm resting on him, his eye's trained on the book in his lap completely unaware a picture was being taken.

He recognized them. They were Peter, James, Sirius and... and himself.

It was like a puzzle clicking into place as a memory hit him, knocking the wind out of him.

Nerves swarmed within him as his foot impatiently tapped on the ground of the platform he was waiting for his train at. The sun beamed down on him and for once he was ungrateful for it. It's warmth really ruined the dark mood hovering over him. As excited as he was for life in America he was going to miss London. Especially the people in it. One person more than the others.

"Lighten up!" The boy next to him teased as he socked him in the arm. "You get to go across the ocean on a wonderful journey to where it's not nearly as foggy! You should be excited!"

Remus sighed. "You're being dramatic, Sirius."

Sirius beamed, his long hair falling just short of his shoulders. He slung an arm around Remus' shoulder. "You know me, Rem. I'm not anything if not dramatic." Remus and him giggled at that. "Besides, this is the perfect opportunity to finally pull ahead of me in academics!"

"I'm already ahead of you. We'd be even if you actually put effort into school, you know." He rolled his eyes. His heart clenched as the other boys smiled widened even more. Dumb crush.

"Psh, I don't need school. I'm going to be a famous artist!"

"Uh huh, and I will be a pro musician."

"So you agree with me! You're going to be the best dang musician this city has ever seen once you get back!" Sirius cheered earning a few odd looks from fellow pedestrians waiting for their own train. Remus laughed to himself as an embarrassed blush worked it's way up his neck.

Remus leaned against Sirius, his best friend. He wished Peter and James could have made it out as well to see him off but sadly they both were busy. Instead they had spent the night together as the whole gang playing games and wishing their goodbyes. By the end of it Peter was crying and James wouldn't let go of him till their parents came to pick them up.

Sirius of course stayed over that night, seeing as he didn't want to go home to his miserable family and it was more convenient if he stayed since they'd both be going to the station the next day. It was a nice last night.

"I'm going to miss you," Black said out of nowhere.

Remus turned his head to stare at his best friend and only ever crush. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. Nothings going to be the same without you," he said, still looking straight forward at the train cars passing in front of them. "Everything's better when you're there."

The tug at his heart in which Remus had grown used to feeling around the other boy grew slightly stronger. Should he tell him? Should he confess about his feelings for his best friend? Would it be worth it? Would he scare him away? He supposes his reaction can't be all that bad, right? After all, he didn't care much when he came out as bi to him before he did anyone else and Sirius is way to nice to not reject him kindly if he doesn't return said romantic feelings.

"Same," Remus said before clarifying, "I mean, when you're there. Not when I'm around myself, that doesn't make sense."

Sirius beside him let out a light airy laugh. Remus' heart melted right there and then. He loved that sound.

"I'm going to miss you too. A lot more than I probably should," he admitted.

It was then that the long haired boy finally looked in his direction. His grey eyes skipped over his features as if thinking very deeply about something. Remus shifted in his spot awkwardly as fifteen year olds do when they are uncomfortable or nervous.

"I have something I need to-" Remus was cut off by the sound of his train screeching to a stop at the platform. He clamped his mouth shut feeling disappointed but also saved.

Sirius squeezed the shoulder his hand rested on and offered an encouraging smile. "Save it. You know, for when you get back."

Remus nodded and picked up his suitcase. The warmth on his shoulder faded as his friends hand removed itself and he turned towards the train. "Bye Sirius, see you in a year."

"Bye... Remus."

He walked towards the train not letting himself look back. If he looked back he would cry and he didn't want to do that to himself or his friend standing a few feet away. He reached the steps into the train when a call from behind him made him stop.

"Wait!" Something grabbed the back of his coat and he was spun around to meet fierce grey eyes. Without a second of hesitation lips were pressed to his own in a fast and desperate motion. He barely had a moment to register what had happened before it was over.

Sirius looked him in the eye, his hand still gripping his coat. He pressed his forehead against his. "Remember me?"

He was half tempted to point out he'd only be gone a year but he knew better. This was important to Sirius. He closed his eyes for a moment. "How could I forget you."

"Promise me."

"I promise."

They both moved away from each other as the commander shouted for any last passengers. Remus took a deep breath, walking backwards up the stairs as his crush backed up into the crowds of the platform, a soft smile on his lips.

The train doors slammed shut as Remus took his seat, as sigh escaping his lips. He jerked forward as the train started to move forward, away from the station, away from London, away from his family, away from his friends, away from Sirius.

Off to America he went, a promise in mind. It's only a year, he told himself. Only a year.

Remus stumbled backward as the memory came flooding back to him. The smallest of gasps escaped his lips, tears starting to well up in his eyes. His hands shook and his ears were ringing slightly.

The doctor said certain events could trigger memories. He said the process would be painless but this wasn't painless. This wasn't like all the other times.

"Remus? Remus, you good mate?"

A tap on his shoulder startled him. There, in front of him stood Sirius, his hand waving in his face. He stepped backward again. This couldn't be happening. It had to be a nightmare.

"I picked out a movie. I hope you're good with Avengers?" Sirius asked, a small smile finding it's way onto his lips.

Remus stared at him then the picture. His eyes widened a fraction as he slammed his hand into the picture so it landed face down before running out of there. He heard Sirius calling after him but he didn't care. He continued to run down the stairs and towards the door.

He can't take this. He has to get out of here.

"Remus, darling, are you alright?"  Mrs Potter called after him but he ignored her too and bolted for the exit. He rushed into his shoes and grabbed his coat of the hook.

"Remus!" Sirius called, bounding down the stairs. "Remus, are you okay? Did I do something?"

Remus paused halfway through the door. Anger swelled inside him. What did he do?! He lied, he pretended for the past few years.

He looked up at the boy, tears in his eyes. "Everything. I can't believe I thought we could be friends!"

With that he stormed out of the house he didn't ever want to go in again. He remembered now and it was the most heart breaking feeling in the world. It was the reason why hot tears stung his cheeks as he climbed into his car and drove away.

He remembered. He wished he didn't.

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*heart breaks in half*

So yeah, that's been my evil plan since the beginning. Everything leads up to here. I haven't edited yet so ignore the intense grammar and spelling mistakes that appeared in this chapter, I just really wanted to get it out.

Happy New year everyone!

Stay healthy!
Last update: 31/12/2020