Lucas

I wanted to get this over with. The fact that I was going to be talking to my ex was enough to make my stomach turn incessantly on the couple of hours leading up to five o'clock. That was the time we agreed on meeting for a coffee at Cup of Joe - one of the coffee shops located in the Santa Monica College campus, owned by... You guessed it: Joe. An old man who I got to know over these past weeks who owned this place with his late wife. And you guessed it again - they were both students at this exact college but their love for coffee spoke louder than any college degree.

"Thank you for meeting with me, I appreciate it." 

The golden band around her finger - also known as wedding ring - captured my attention in all the little gestures she did - when she pulled the chair to sit down, when she picked up the menu to choose her drink or even when she scratched her ear.

"No problem."

I would be lying if I said it didn't feel awkward between the two of us. 

I noticed she was having some trouble starting the conversation with me, and I decided to take the first step. "So, are you excited about going back to London?"

"Actually, I am." A small smile danced on her lips. "LA is pretty nice but there's nothing like home."

I agree with that statement, I just don't know if I agree with the fact that a city  is a home. I know for a fact now that a person is a home.

"Well, yeah... You've always loved London."

"As did you. Are you going back too? Once you're done with college, I mean."

"No." I nodded my head as my lips involuntarily pursed. "I'm staying here."

"For good?" Eyes opened wide and her mouth ajar was the view before me.

"Yes." 

"Oh... Well, I'm surprised."

No shit.

I took a sip of my coffee, hoping the caffeine would prepare me for whatever it was she had intended for this little get together.

"Wow, now I'm realizing what I came here to say makes no sense at all." She mumbled the words loud enough for me to hear them, and chuckled softly. I furrowed my eyebrows.

"What'd you come here to say? You can still say it." I responded, a bit confused as to why the fact that I moved to LA would make any difference.

"I... I realized some things when I ran into you."

She had captured all my attention while she paused, and I starred at her, waiting for her to elaborate a bit more.

"God, I know how this sounds but I... I realized that the feelings I had for you never died. I still feel it all. All my old feelings came back when I saw you."

While my brain cells were still processing what she had said, my face turned white as all color drained from my face. However, I still managed to state the obvious.

"Sarah... you're married."

"I know, I know." She rushed to reply. "I know, and I know that this is incredibly wrong and unfair to you but I just had to say it. I had to let you know, or else I'd fly back to London and have to live with the biggest regret of my life for not telling you."

I took another sip of my coffee, although what I could really use right now was a shot of tequila. 

"Do you not love your husband?"

"I do, I-I think I do. I don't know," She shrugged and looked down at her finger that was randomly drawing patterns on the napkin. "I thought I loved him, but then I saw you and I questioned everything."

"Don't. Don't do that."

"Please don't be mad at me, Lucas. I just... I had to let you know where I stand so we can be on the same page here."

"The thing is... we're not on the same page. In fact, we'll never be on the same page again."

"What do you mean?" Now it was her turn to have her eyebrows meet in the middle of her forehead.

"Look, you might think you still love me but, you don't. Because years ago when we were dating you said you never saw a future for us together, hence why you denied my marriage proposal. If you tied the knot with your husband it's because you saw a future with him. You love him, not me. I understand that when you saw me some old feelings could have resurfaced, but that's all."

"What about you?"

"What about me?"

"You did love me, when we dated. Did those old feelings resurfaced when you saw me last week?"

My eyes traveled to the dark brown wooden table, unable to look her in the eye right now. The answer was clear in my head. It was probably what I was most sure of in my whole life.

I took a deep breath and faced her pleading eyes, taking me everything to say the word that's been right under my tongue the moment she asked her question, knowing all too well it was probably going to break her heart.

"No."

I saw her facial expression change into a look of utter disappointment. She was unhappy, probably because when she wanted to meet with me today, she had a certain hope about us getting back together or reuniting, and I didn't meet her expectations.

"Are you seeing someone?"

"It's a little more serious than that... I love her. I want to spend the rest of my life with her and she wants the same."

What was she expecting from me though? Was she seriously hoping that I'd be single all these years, waiting around for her? 

"Oh." She giggled as a way to try to hide her true feelings. "I'm sorry for making you come here and meet with me, then. It was a waste of your time and mine."

"No, it's..." At a loss for better words, I went with a simple, "I'm glad we talked."

"Yeah, me too, I guess."

"How are things between you and... John, is it?" I asked, taking the chance to change the subject and at the same time find out a little more about the dynamic between Sarah and her husband that seemed to be a little fragile. 

"Yes, John. Um... things are good. I miss him a lot." After a brief pause of her looking at her napkin for a while, she spoke up again. "You know, he wasn't too happy that I came here for six months."

"He wasn't?"

She nodded her head in response. "Want me to be honest?"

"Always."

"I'm really scared to arrive at London tomorrow and see him with some other woman."

"You think he'd do that?" I didn't think things between them would be that fragile. 

"When I accepted the job offer, I didn't. But it's been six whole months and he hasn't been calling every day like he used to."

"Wanna know what I think?"

"Sure."

"I think that being six months apart from him led you to feeling very insecure about your, already fragile relationship. And running into me was just the cherry on top to have your mind go crazy."

She shyly looked down again before looking at me. "How do you always know what to say?"

"I don't." I chuckled to myself. "But if what I said helped you out somehow, then... this wasn't a waste of time after all."

"No, it wasn't." She agreed and finished her drink. 

We talked until I finished mine, and we said goodbye. We wished each other the best and went our separate ways, with nothing left unsaid.

 * * *

One year older, I was waking up next to Nicole, in her bed. I was now officially twenty-nine years old and living my best life. 

This lead to a moment of retrospective for me - how I'm one year away from thirty and my life is nothing like how I expected it to be, yet is everything I could wish for. I used to think that by thirty (or somewhere around it) I'd have settled down, with a wife, possibly kids, a steady job with a steady income and a house of my own. Well, look at me now - I've got my girl with me (not my wife, yet!) who is working to do what she loves, I'm in college learning what I love and just a couple of months away from finishing this semester and starting my job at the best possible place to be an animator and sketch artist. As far as house and kids go, I have none so far, but in all honesty, I don't need it yet. 

Life only moves fast if you let it. 

"Good morning birthday boy." Nicole leaned in and pressed her lips against mine. 

"Morning." I replied in a whisper, my breath tickling her lips that remained close to mine.

I turned to look at the alarm clock on the bedside table and sighed as I saw the time. "We gotta get ready."

I've always loved the fact that Nicole liked to sleep in just like I do, but today it was a curse more than a blessing.

With no extra time to spend together, just the two of us, in bed, on the morning of my birthday, she agreed with me and we both got up, showered and got ready to leave the house.

Just like they had promised, on my birthday, I had my sister Melanie and my niece Lexi visiting. 

And just like Nicole had wanted, I was not spending my birthday at the dorms. Instead I was spending it with her, at her apartment. Of course, that included skipping a few classes but I was quite on track with the topics we were learning. Plus, skipping just a couple of classes on the day before my birthday so I could go to San Francisco earlier, wouldn't hurt.

"What time did Mel say her plane was landing?" Nicole asked while she was fidgeting with the earrings she was trying to put on, looking in the mirror standing on the corner of her bedroom.

"Midday, I think." I responded after double checking the screenshot of the plane ticket my sister sent me yesterday.

"Are you excited to see them?"

"Are you kidding? I'm dying to pick up that little munchkin and never let her go." Nicole smiled at my comment and after having her earrings on, she walked across the room to find her bag and fill it with some of her belongings that were laying on the bed, such as her phone, wallet and keys.

"Sometimes I think most fathers out there don't love their kids as much as you love Lexi." She said with a chuckle.

I chuckled too as I got up from the edge of the bed and put on my denim jacket. "I can't disagree with that."

"I would ask you if you'd like to have kids but I think I already know the answer to that question. In fact, I think I've known the answer to that question since the moment I saw you with her."

We establish visual contact and we both started laughing, thinking back to the moment we met and she thought I was Lexi's father.

"That will never not be funny." She said in the middle of her laughs. "But you gotta admit, to anyone who wouldn't know, it did look like Lexi was your daughter and Melanie was your wife."

Nicole's statement made me smile to myself instantly and nod in agreement, and she caught my smile with her brown eyes.

"What about you?"

"You really don't know the answer?"

"I would prefer to have you say it to me than just trying to guess."

"Guess?" She giggled and sprayed perfume on her, the flowery smell making its way through my nostrils and making my heart beat faster. "Please. Why do you think we're such a perfect match?"

 * * * 

Author's Note: 

Hey loves!!! I hope you liked this chapter, and if you did, please click on the star below and leave a comment or two letting me know what you're thinking of this lil story of mine ❤

This last part of the chapter was super duper cute and I'm in love with these two (in case I haven't mentioned) ✨

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Xoxo, Mars