Lucas 

"Ni- Nicole..." I felt like I was becoming a stutterer, the rest of the words curling under my tongue and not coming out at all. 

I was confused but more than that, I was shocked, surprised. I've been feeling a lot of that lately. 

I spent two or three good minutes in silence, my mouth agape and ready to say some words but none came out. 

I searched her brown eyes for a small hint of hope, a hint of direction on where to get my speech started.

"My answer is yes..." My eyelids slid down as my eyes closed and I drew in a sharp breath.

"Your hesitation tells me there's a but coming." She said with a small voice, a whisper that was barely audible. 

I could feel the disappointment in her trembling voice, and my heart broke into a million pieces that I was causing her any kind of hurt or sadness. 

"But..." I said, the three lettered word burning my tongue as I said it out loud. "I don't think we should get married just yet."

I couldn't decipher the new expression that took over her flawless appearance, her smile now gone and the brightness in her eyes nowhere to be seen. 

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Ye-yeah, I-I just... Enlighten me, then."

I gave her a questioning look, reflecting my questioning mind, wanting Nicole to blurt it all out and explain what she meant by that. "I don't follow..."

"Look, I agree with you. But I..." Her eyes looked around the room, as if she was looking for words on the walls. "I thought you wanted to get married now."

"What made you think that?"

"You told your parents you wanted to spend the rest of your life with me. I-I thought you wanted to propose to me. Then I found the design for an engagement ring and I... I thought you were going to do it it tonight and I... Guess I was just driving myself crazy all this time."

"No need to." With my fingers hooked around a strand of her hair, I pulled it over her ear and let my hand rest on her cheek, her soft skin making my fingertips tremble. 

"Look, I do want to spend the rest of my life with you. You knew that already, we're in this forever, aren't we?"

She nodded in agreement while she gulped at the same time, an indication for me to continue. "To clarify things, when you heard that I wasn't thinking about proposing to you, that wasn't what I implied when I said that. I think that if we want to make things work between us, we need to communicate. I would never catch you by surprise with an engagement ring without speaking to you first about marriage itself." 

We communicated, like we always do, and came to the conclusion that this was just one big, fat misunderstanding and that neither of us was ready for a commitment that large, this soon into our relationship. 

We agreed on one thing though - we wanted to get married in the future, and we wanted to get married to each other only. The timing just had to be right. 

Her velvet smooth tongue met mine as they fought for dominance during a heated kiss we shared. My hands traveled to her waist and my fingers hugged her curves unwittingly. 

Despite being 4 A.M., I couldn't stay an inch apart from Nicole right now. We could sleep all day tomorrow. In fact, I could not care less if we didn't get any sleep at all, I only cared about having her close to me, about feeling all her love. 

That's what happens when you get the feeling of wanting and needing someone right here, right now... you never let them go until you feel satisfied. It was an overwhelming feeling, an all consuming and heavy love that ruled all your decisions and controlled your entire body. 

Her fingernails grazed the skin on the nape of my neck and couldn't help but feel a tingling feeling all over myself, my skin erupting in goosebumps in an immediate reaction to her touch. 

"I love you so much."

"I love you more." She shot back in a heartbeat, her beautiful eyes squinting as the words rolled out of her tongue. 

"Impossible." I said as I gently pressed my forehead against hers. With my hands still on her waist I took a step further while she took one back, almost as if we were in a dance, until we got to the stairs. 

Her feet got on the first step while I stayed on the ground, so that she was now a little taller than me. She looked down on me, brown meeting blue as our eyes met. 

"I love that you think you love me more than I love you..."

"Yes?"

"But I do love you more. So much more."

Our fingers intertwined as we held hands and she walked up the stairs backwards, never breaking the eye contact, pulling me with her until we got to the bedroom. 

"How can you say you love me more when it is physically and emotionally impossible to love someone as much as I love you?"

The exchange of words between us was perfectly healthy and goofy, just the two of us being the silly kids that deep down we both are. We weren't being too serious about this little competition, yet, deep down, we were being as serious as we could, and meaning every single word.   

Our little war of I love yous, trying to decide who loves who more, lead to a whole night of loving - easy loving, slow loving, strong loving, passionate loving. The kind of loving that makes you incapable of being physically apart from your other half, and makes you burn inside as you cave into all your wishes and desires, yet at the same time you feel the most alive you've ever felt.

And once you know that feeling, you never want to go without it. 

 * * * 

The very first day of the new year was spent mostly in bed, with Nicole. And what a perfect way to spend the beginning of the year with the girl I loved the most in this world. Especially because the thought of spending the next six months away from her is killing me like a knife inside and every second I spend by her side seems like it might be the last one, ever. One small semester seems like a whole eternity to me.

Today, four days into the new year, is the day I'll be boarding a plane out of London and to California for good. 

I wasn't sad, I wasn't feeling melancholic, I was feeling purely like a little kid on their first day of school. You know when you're at that young age of five or six and you start first grade? You don't exactly want to leave kindergarten, you don't want to leave your friends behind... Outside your family, they're all you know. Starting school always comes with a change, or multiple changes, and I feel like that's what's happening to me now. 

I feel like I'm jumping into a never ending spiral of changes - I'm gonna change the place where I live, I'm gonna change my occupation, I'm gonna dive into the unknown. 

"You ready?"

No one likes change, no one likes adjustment, no one enjoys the growing pains, no matter how old you are, it's always something you'd prefer not have to go through. 

However, as hard as change is, you couldn't live without it and more importantly, you couldn't live happily without facing change. All good things I'm thankful for now, demanded a massive change, an unexpected change. It was hard, it was uncomfortable, but in the end it's all worth it. 

"Yeah." I nodded. 

The house I was living in was way too special for me to fully let it go, and since my sister and Lexi lived in an apartment that was further from the center and smaller than my place, Melanie and my niece were moving in to my house tomorrow. 

Side by side, Nicole and I made our way to the tube station to catch the train to the city center spend the day in the heart of London, to see everything we wanted to see one last time and go to all the spots that held a special place in our hearts, such as Camden and St. James' Park next to the Buckingham Palace. 

I am going to trade the icy, freezing cold breeze for the thick hot air, the busy streets of the city center for the calmness of the suburbs, the snowball fights for walks on the beach and more importantly, I'm gonna trade an empty and lonely life with a boring job for a life together with my best friend and with the job of my dreams. 

That's happiness... and your happiness is always worth all the change and growing pains that might come in your way. 

  * * *

After a full and fun day, Nicole and I made our way back to my house to pick up our bags and the sight before me when I opened the front door made my heart to back flips. 

"Surprise!!" Little Lexi ran to me and I picked her up in my arms as she wrapped her little arms around my neck. 

Melanie was standing by the stairs with a smile on her face and a banner above her head that read the word Goodbye. 

When the five year old wiggled her little legs indicating me she wanted to go down, I put her on the ground and she ran to Nicole, who bent down to hug her. 

"Hi!" I couldn't contain the smile as I hugged my sister a little extra tightly today. "Was this all your idea?"

"Yes! Do you like it?" 

"I love it! Thank you so much."

"Hey, Luc." The thick voice of a man caught me by surprise and I turned in my heels to see Henry, next to his girlfriend, Sophie, with his arm extended to greet me. 

"Henry! How've you been?"

"Great. Gonna miss having you around." With his hand resting on the back of the blonde long haired girl, he introduced me to her again. "You know Sophie."

"Yes, I do. Hi Sophie, how are you?" 

Skipping forward the hugs and pleasantries, we were all busy eating the food Melanie bought to put on the table and drink children friendly beverages such as orange juice and coca cola.

We didn't have infinite time like I suddenly wish we did once I opened the door, but the small hour we had was pretty perfect if I do say so myself. 

Melanie went upstairs to help Nicole and I get the bags downstairs and by the time we reached the front door, she grabbed my arm to talk to me. "Promise me that by the next time I see you, you won't have already lost the accent." 

"I would never let that happen!" Nicole chirped in, her lips curling upwards into a wide smile. 

The three of us chuckled at her comment, she'd always been very verbal about her love and admiration for my British accent, not caring if that a cliche characteristic of mine for her to like.

"Seriously Luc, enjoy yourself, live your life like you've never lived it before, but please never forget your roots." 

"Do I seem like the guy who'd forget his roots? Really?"

"Not in the slightest but as your sister, I just had to get this off my chest." With an assertive nod and her lips pursed into a tight smile, Melanie fought to keep her tears at bay, and the moment I realized that was what she was doing, I found myself doing the same. 

"Duly noted."

"I'm proud of you. So proud of you." This time her voice cracked before she could finish the sentence and her arms wrapped around me. I instantly hugged her back and took that chance to wipe away some tears that had fallen down my cheeks without her seeing. 

My eyes scanned the room for Nicole and I noticed her sitting on the ground with Sophie, both of them playing with Lexi and her dolls, while Henry stood by their side, laughing at something they were saying. Nicole wanted to give us the brother and sister moment we needed before my departure. 

"Thank you, Mellie." We let go of the hug but I kept my hands on her shoulders as I looked at her, my vision now much less blurred. "I am extremely proud of you too."

"I could have never done it without you. Look at her." She nodded her head in the little girl's direction. My niece was a terrific kid, so kind and nice, gentle, funny... It's really true what they say that the most unexpected things turn out to be the best ones. And at that thought I couldn't help but think back to when I met Nicole and look at how my life literally turned upside down since that moment. 

"I just helped out. You're her mom, you're the one who needs to take credit for raising such a great little kid."

We hugged again, this time a less emotional hug, and I made my way to Henry and Sophie to say goodbye to them, which was quick and pain free, saving Lexi for last.

"Are you going now, uncle Luc?" Her small, squeaky voice caught my attention. 

"I'm afraid so, sweetie." I frowned as I bent down to her level to hug her. "I'm gonna miss you so much, sweetheart."

"I'm gonna miss you too." 

"Every time you wanna talk to me, just ask mom."

"I'm gonna ask her to call you every day!" She giggled, her eyes shinning bright as she erupted in laughter and her small white pearls looking more adorable than ever.  

"I'll wait for your calls every single day, pumpkin." I tickled her belly before hugging her again and kissing her cheek lovingly. 

It's so interesting how kids can often be the bigger person in various occasions, and give you the best advice. And truthfully, adults should learn from them. 

It surprised me that she didn't even shed a tear during our goodbye, but then again, she was the one who encouraged me to leave it all behind, in London, go to America and chase my dreams.

Nicole said goodbye to everyone as well before she grabbed her bag, just like me, and the both of us made our way out of this house to go to the airport, leaving this place with a loud choir of "Bye" behind us and goodbye waves from the people I was going to miss the most, but the ones I'll take with me wherever in the world I go, in my heart. 

  * * * 

Author's Note: 

Hey hey hey! Please don't hate me, I promise I have so many happy story lines for these two, this was just a bump (if you can call it that!) in their very very long road! ❤

I sound like a broken record every week when I say this, but if you liked it please please vote and comment, let me know all your thoughts 💓😏

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Xoxo, Mars