Lucas

Backbeat, the word was on the street
That the fire in your heart is out

I'm sure you've heard it all before-

"Hey Luc?"

"Yeah?" I asked Henry, driving my attention from the white paper in front of me to the man standing by the door and turning down the sound of Wonderwall, by Oasis. 

"That American girl is asking for you. Should I tell her to come in?"

"Ah, Nicole. Yes. I was expecting her."

"You two seem pretty close." He commented and sensing the tone of voice, I could tell he wanted to know more.

"Yeah, she's a nice girl."

"Pretty too." He added. 

"Where are you going with this?" I asked, knowing all too well where.

"I'm just wondering if there's something else other than just closeness between the two of you." I rolled my eyes, knowing this was exactly what I thought he'd ask. "Does she have a boyfriend?"

"No." I responded, sounded maybe a little to happy and somehow proud.

Not gonna lie, I liked hearing her say no when Lexi asked if she had a boyfriend. Not that I like her that way...

...Yet. I think it's definitely something that I know will happen pretty soon or is already happening, but I keep stopping the feeling from growing. Not that I've been doing that good of a job about that lately. 

"That's what they all say. A girl that pretty has got to have someone, somewhere." 

I hadn't thought of that. But he did have a point - she was a walking Mona Lisa painting, there was no way her heart wasn't taken. 

"Just tell her she can come in, alright?" 

With an assertive nod Henry turned around and left. I could hear him to talk to her, what he was saying and I unconsciously  straightened my back in the chair and paused the song I was listening to. 

"Hey you!" She said with a smile as she held up our two cups of coffee, that we planned on having this morning while we both worked on our own projects. 

That meant I'd be drawing a necklace I was working on for quite some time now and she'd be writing her book. 

I don't know exactly how it happened, or when it happened. All I know is that, against my own will power, the thought of Nicole alone is enough to send my stomach into a butterfly frenzy.

And don't get me started on the days that we spend together - which are most days.

One true fact is that we've become really great friends. We understood each other a lot, we both love creativity and art and we share a lot of common values.

And the fact that she carried on a natural, out of this world beauty, helped.

"Good morning." I replied, taking the coffee from her hand and taking a long sip before I put it down on the table. "Ready to get to work?" 

"Always."

After we went out for dinner and bowling the other night we both agreed that our days could be pretty boring. She's bored writing by herself all alone at home and I'm bored drawing in my little office, so, we thought it would be a good idea for me to share my little space with her while we had some coffee and talked a little bit here and there, while we also got some work done at the same time. 

We could both use the company.

 * * *

I guess you can say it was a day well spent. I finished my design, she finished a whole chapter of her book, we talked, ate, drank coffee, listened to music (she insisted that I'd press the play button because she too, likes to work while listening to music), took silly selfies and by the time we were supposed to be leaving, I felt a strong tug at my heartstrings. 

The thought of going home and not see her anymore physically pained me and so I decided to ask her out on a little outing in Camden - just dinner and quick stroll around the borough that never sleeps.

She accepted the invitation in a heartbeat and even though I repeatedly told her that she looked beautiful after she warned me that we'd need to go to her place first so she could change and put on a little make-up, I agreed on keeping her company as we walked to her apartment and waited in her small living room for her. 

She brought her camera with her and with just a pair of black jeans, a grey sweater and a jean jacket to top it all off, she looked ready to go. She grabbed her shoulder bag where she packed her phone and her wallet, the camera case and we left her apartment, walking in the direction of the tube station. 

The ride was only three stops until we got off on Camden Town and it didn't take us more than thirty minutes to be walking through the Camden streets with a paper bowl each, filled with Mexican food from one of the best Mexican places I've ever been to in my entire life.

"It's good but I have to tell you, Mexican food is so much better in California." She said as she took a bite of her nachos. 

"Now it's my turn to say I beg to differ. This is the best I've had, ever. And I've been to Mexico!"

"When?!"

"When I was ten." We laughed. "I may have been young but I remember the food."

"That's like... eating bad pizza or pasta in Italy."

"Oh, it can happen, trust me."

"How the hell do you know? Don't tell me you've been there too."

The silence I let fall between the two of us answered her question. Then I elaborated. 

"Spring break, 2009." She looked at me incredulous at my words. "And if you want to know, it was anything but a spring break in the sense of the word that you use there in the US. We were there for four full days, visited every monument and museum that Rome had to offer." 

"Lucas, that sounds so great! Did you have fun?"

"Sure I did. It's a great city, you'd like it, but the food? Not so much."

She didn't say anything in response and kept on eating her food, a comfortable silence settling in between the two of us as we looked at the different shop windows, our eyes meeting from time to time and smiling shyly at each other.

"Hey Luc, you don't celebrate Thanksgiving here in the UK, do you?"

"No, we don't. Why?" 

She shrugged, looking indifferent to whatever my response would be. "I was thinking about maybe getting a plane ticket home to celebrate Thanksgiving with my family."

She didn't ask for my opinion directly, but I knew she wanted to hear it from me. "You should go."

"Eh... I should, shouldn't I? But I'm sure the prices will be through the roof that day." 

"Well yeah... probably." We laughed at the honest comment.

The thought of her going to America for the special weekend caused my mind to immediately drift back to the conversation Henry and I had shared this morning.

"Um... Sorry if I'm intruding or something with this question but, how does a girl like you not have a boyfriend waiting for you back home?"

I kept my eyes on her, and the neutral look on her face told me that I had not gone too far, and that I might just get an answer to the question that hadn't been on my mind before Henry mentioned it. 

She shrugged and smiled at me, looking as clueless as I was. 

"I just don't. I had a boyfriend before I came here, though. We dated since college, we almost got engaged-"

What?!

"What happened?" I cut her off, maybe a little too quickly. 

"We... didn't really share the same principles, so to speak. We just... we are different people. I'm glad I realized that before it was too late. He loved money so much and I just..."

She was struggling to find the right words and I finished her sentence for her. 

"You're not like that."

"Exactly." She nodded firmly at me. "How do you not have half the city of London running after you?"

I couldn't help but laugh out loud - literally - at her question, causing some teenage girls that were passing by to look at me in confusion and some fear too. They probably thought I was some lunatic out for the night. 

"Me? Why?"

"Well, you're not exactly hard on the eyes."

Oh, what a poor, yet funny, choice of words. She realized it too right after saying them.

"You know what I mean!" She defended herself as she playfully hit my arm. 

"Look at you, the writer, judging a book by its cover."

She opened her mouth as she gasped. "I'm offended!" She giggled before continuing. "You're a really great guy. You have a such a good heart, you're funny, you're talented, you're kind, you're honest... Being good looking is just a bonus."

Wow. This girl really knows how to bust a guy's ego. 

"Thank you, Nic. But it's not as easy as that." I thought about my previous relationship, the one that broke me inside, and battled my mind as to weather I should tell Nicole about it or not. A simple look at her face was enough to have me spilling my guts.

"It's been quite a long time since I've dated, but I used to have someone, thought she was the one."

"What happened?"

"She didn't want the same things I did, she didn't see a future with me or whatever." I lifted my shoulders in a shrug. "It was tough, especially because at the time I did see a future for the two of us."

"I'm sorry." 

Truth was I was falling for this girl. Everything about Nicole, and I mean every single thing about this person, made my heart soar. But I kept shutting down the feeling and avoid at all costs to allow myself to admit to me, to her or to anyone else that I was into her because I could see my past relationship making its comeback, yet they could not be any more different. 

This was how it was with Sarah - we went on dates, we had our fun, we shared stories, and until the moment I asked her to spend the rest of my life with me and she denied it, I had built my hopes up, only to be disappointed and heartbroken at the end. 

I guess I just don't want to go through that again.

The easy part is always the kissing and the sex and the teasing and playfulness. Sarah and I did the whole thing in one night. 

"Hey, would you want to come with me?" 

I almost chocked on the food I was eating when the words flew out of her mouth.

Did I hear right?!

I blinked repeatedly as I involuntarily slowed my pace and put the trash in the bin, using the time to try to find some sense to her question. 

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked you this. Sorry." 

"No, it's... Why? I mean, I feel honored that you'd want me there but, why?"

"First of all, I am extremely thankful for you this year. Well, month. And second you're my friend and I could really use a friend to support me as we eat dinner and my aunt keeps interrogating me about what happened with my ex and why it didn't work."

"Well, I don't think I'll be busy that day. And you definitely sound like you could use a friend there." I said as I took a deep breath and stopped to stare at her, losing myself in thought.

"Clear your schedule." She winked at me before walking inside a record store and tilting her head to the side, wanting me to come along.

She was busy running her fingers through a bunch of Queen records that had a sign sticking out of the box that read 4 for the price of 1 when she started a conversation I never thought we'd have tonight. 

"I need to ask you something." My face indicated she should go on. "Are we going on dates? Romantic dates?"

I could feel the blood drain from my face as my mind registered the question and her intention. This time she didn't even apologize for straight up asking me something I should know, and rightfully so.

Yes.

No.

To be honest, I don't even know.

"No."

I avoided eye contact as I picked up a record of some rock band from the 70's that I had never heard of.

"Oh, okay."

"Wait-Did you... want it to be dates?"

"I don't know if I wanted it as much as I thought they were." I furrowed my brows in confusion and turned my attention to her this time. The lights of the record shop lit up her eyes, looking like they were two fireflies hanging on her face and starring right at me. 

"Lucas, you're a great friend, really you are one of the best guys I've ever met and I truly hope that after I leave London nothing ever changes between us two, but I just had to ask you this. And I don't want things to get weird between us after this conversation but coffee dates all the time, bowling, dinner, lunch at your place, this... I had to ask you."

She was right. But the look of disappointment in her face after I answered her question was enough to tell me that she was hoping for a different response and I couldn't stay quiet and not give her an explanation. 

"It's not a definite no, it's just, I don't know." She looked even more hopeless now. "Look, I think I subconsciously meant all those invitations as dates but, when conscience kicked in I knew that I never told you they were. I like you, and I like hanging out with you and you're a great friend too, and-" My brain was short-cutting and the the words were stumbling on themselves in my tongue as I spoke, and I was just making a bigger fool of myself. 

"Fuck it."

I finally cave into my heart and my free will and cupped her beautiful face with my hands gently, and with my eyes closed and her hands on my wrists, my lips crashed on hers. 

The record shop was playing With or Without You by U2 but during the moment our lips met, the song simply vanished. 

The feeling when we touched was earth-shatering, vibrating. The electric energy we shared as our lips moved in sync could light up a whole fireworks show, it was that good.

We weren't alone and so, the kiss was cut short, way too short to me and from the look on her face, she agreed. Now that I'd tasted her, I had the sudden urge to kiss her until I ran out of air in my lungs.

I realized - kissing isn't the easy part. With Nicole, that's the hard one, the difficult choice that you make in the heat of the moment before you even know where you're going with it. And if kissing was hard, I can't even imagine what a physical connection with Nicole would be like. 

But I can't wait to find out. 

 * * *

Author's Note:

THEY KISSED!!!! But it was a very short kiss, Lucas was upset about it, I bet Nicole was too and I bet you all were as well SO, don't worry! I got more smooches coming for ya! 💋

As always, please vote, comment and share this story with whoever you want to!

Here's my favorite cover that walrosie did for me, it's so so sweet and lovely 💕 Really thinking about using this one!

Xoxo, Mars