Dear Diary,

I was so tempted to spend my Christmas at work, mope around and be bitter about everything but I did not succumb to that selfish thing. Dapat masaya kapag Pasko... so nagsaya ako. Kahit isang araw lang.

Hindi kasalanan ni Paulo o ng girlfriend nya kung bakit ako malungkot. Ever since naman, alam ko nang wala namang pag-asang maging kami. Kung mayroon mang may kasalanan sa aming tatlo kung bakit ganto ako ngayon, ako 'yun. Kasalanan kong umasa ako.

Dahil nakuha ko na ang sweldo ko last Friday, naisipan ko na lang na maglustay ng pera. Pumunta ako ng Glorietta at nanuod ng movies sa MMFF. Nakatatlong sine ako bago ako namumay. Kumain ako ng lunch sa isang mamahaling restaurant sa Greenbelt (dahil feel na feel kong mayaman ako ngayong pasko) then I bought several gifts for myself. Lastly, tumambay ako sa Power Books para magbasa.

Napansin ko lang diary... ang gwapo pala ng lalaking nagbabasa, 'no? Hehe... lalo na kapag maganda 'yung librong binabasa nya. Tipong Digital Fortress. Nakaka-amaze!

Anyway, umuwi na ako ng bahay nang mga bandang alas otso. And then I did something out of the blue. Nag-bar ako... mag-isa! Sa Pasko! It's exciting and scary! I did not plan on getting drunk naman kasi wala akong kasama. Though I had this notion na kapag nagpakalasing ako, may mag-uuwi sa 'kin sa bahay nila. 'Yung super gwapong lalaki who would turn out to be so rich tapos later on e maiinlove sa 'kin but meh~~ nangangarap na naman ako.

I did kiss a guy though... or more accurately, he kissed me. We were both tipsy and we were both alone. I imagined my first kiss to be awful and perfect—because I had imagined two kissing scenarios. One, na dahil unang halik ko, it will turn out to be the worst and two, dahil unang halik ko, it will turn out to be perfect. The kind na babalik-balikan ko pa rin 'yung alaala kahit nakailang halik na ako.

Nothing happened after that. I guess we just felt... awkward. He bought me another drink, thanked me for the kiss, told me to be safe going home and then he left.

Diary, he's not the guy I wanted to end up with but... could this be a sign? Ang cliché naman ng love story ko. Sa bar pa! Of all the place! Pero—

Ayoko diary. 'Yung katulad ni Paulo ang gusto ko. Pero—

Ah ewan!

Lubos na nagugulumihan,

Ingrid

P.S. MERRY CHRISTMAS!

P.P.S. If you would ask me about the kiss, I'd say it's definitely worth remembering.