from a dialogue prompt i found on instagram

"Oh my god! You're in love with her!"

The exclamation startled Adrien so much that he snapped (nearly wrote snaped lmao) out of his dazed daydreaming and whipped his head around to stare at the girl beside him. Her blue eyes were wide with disbelief and horror, mouth dropped in shock. She was even trembling slightly.

Adrien instantly panicked. "W-what?! M-me, in l-love, w-with whom?!"An awkward laugh escaped his lips, watching in slight terror as she showed no sign of calming down. 

Oh wait...

The trembling stopped. Her eyes closed as her posture sagged with a sigh. "You're really in love with her." She hugged her arms, eyes now downcast from her balcony to the streets below. "You really love Ladybug."

Adrien sighed exasperatedly, irritation beginning to encroach on his mind. "Yeah, so? What does it matter?" 

Marinette's fingers clenched around the handrail of her balcony. Over the past couple months, she'd become incredibly close with Adrien after finally getting over her stutter and awkwardness. Of course she knew about his crush on Ladybug - but she always assumed it was just a celebrity crush. A celebrity with a celebrity crush. It wasn't unreasonable. Besides, he'd only met Ladybug a couple times, right?

But... the way he smiled, the way he gazed off into the clouds with a dazed look in his eyes and a dreamy expression, the way his whole face lit up at just the mention of her... it reminded Marinette of how she used to react about Adrien. 

"I don't want to see you hurt." She tried to reason with her reaction, even if she didn't quite understand it herself. Or maybe she did, considering the screaming voice inside her head begging to be let out, screaming "I'm right here, I'm right here!" "Celebrity crushes can be-"

"It's not a celebrity crush!" He interrupted with a growl, his grip tightening on the handrail just as hers did earlier. With an angry breath, he loosened his fingers carefully. "You don't understand."

Marinette snorted. "I don't understand a crush? Please! My crush doesn't notice me, and I barely knew him and I was so certain I was in love with him, and I wasn't! It wasn't love, it was a stupid crush and I didn't know him like I thought I did, and god now that I know him better it's so difficult to get over once and for all!" She pushed off the railing, pacing and running her hand through her hair, barely noticing Adrien's gaze on her. "My stupid crush has pulled me down so far and slowed me down so much, and I just want to not love him like I do and it's so hard because I can't and he doesn't even look at me in that way! Even as a passing thought!"

Adrien's curiosity got the better of him. "Who is he?"

"Damn it, Adrien, he's you and that's why I know I don't have a chance and why I'm trying to get over you because you don't need some lovesick fangirl fawning over you every chance she gets and neither does Ladybug!" She finally met his eyes, pleading expression. "Adrien, she can't love you the way you love her because she's a hero! She- she's not supposed to put one life above someone else, she can't be thinking about you when her mind's supposed to be on the battle, she'll get distracted and could hurt someone!" Pulling slightly at her hair, she moved to sit down. "When you love someone, you're prepared to lose everything for them. She can't afford to lose to Hawkmoth. She can't afford to lose her miraculous until her job is done. Maybe then, and only then, will she be prepared to love, but you wouldn't be first on her list." The panic and upset was replaced by anger. "What about him?"

Taken aback by her sudden change in tone, Adrien blinked. "Who?"

"Chat Noir!" Then she was on her feet again, this time marching close to Adrien's face and pushing hers towards his. "Chat Noir has loved Ladybug since the day they met. He's proved himself so many times to be worthy of her affections, he's put his life before hers. You've met her what, twice? That dumb cat has put everything he has on the line for her, you've barely spoken a word to her. If you think for one minute that you deserve her more than that amazing boy, then you're dead wrong and I really don't know you like I thought I did." She huffed out a furious breath. "I love that damn cat and he deserves so much more than he gets, and he deserves to be happy with her once this is all over."

Adrien watched, shell-shocked as she pulled away, facing the wall with her head in her hands.

"And that's love, isn't it? Being willing to give them up just to see them happy. Huh. Guess that alley cat was right all along." The last sentence was spoken softly to herself, but Adrien's keen ears still caught it. "I really did fall for him someday. It was... just a matter of time."

What did she mean...? 

"He'll never love me. You'll never love me. Nobody ever chooses me in the end, it's always her. Figures. Ah well, love is not a choice. But," she whirled back to face him, eyes glimmering with confidence and anger, "pursuing love is a choice. And if they don't love you, tough. And trust me when I say, pretty boy, Ladybug doesn't love you anymore." 

Anymore?!

"She might've nearly given up her miraculous for you one day, but that was almost a year ago now. And after a recent development, she's decided, that even though she might still love you in her heart, Chat Noir deserves his chance before any... civilian." She folded her arms with a smile and a slight nod to herself. "Look at me. Being strong and standing up to my crush. This is a new development." Her smile grew in size, the anger leaving her no longer tight lips. "We're still friends, by the way. You need friends. But I'm done with my piece."

And so she went on, talking about many different things, trivial and not, but her words stuck in his mind.

Chat Noir deserved Ladybug. He loved her with all his heart. But... Adrien was Chat Noir. If Chat Noir deserved Ladybug... who did Adrien deserve?

His emerald eyes drifted towards the girl beside him once more, but less abrupt, and much more subtle. Her cheeks were flushed with the warm air heating their skins and bones, hair slightly tousled by the wind and messily tied up in a hasty bun, stands brushing her face, eyes sparkling as if an ocean were held within them at midday. Petit nose, lips curled around words, soft features but athletic build, she was beautiful. But beneath that...

Beneath that was the wisdom of a thousand years. Beneath that was the fire that tempered her iron words into being the sharp weapons she rarely used them as. Beneath that was the kindness that only came from a broken heart or a good family, he suspected it was both. Beneath that was the insightfulness of a million different lives lived and seen and a hundred emotions experienced. Beneath that was the courage of lions faced and tamed, not fought. Beneath that was understanding and grace and intelligence and resourcefulness and...

He smiled.

Maybe Chat Noir, wild, dedicated and reckless Chat Noir deserved Ladybug, sarcastic, teasing and brave Ladybug, for she could keep him in line and focused, but Adrien, gentle, childish and lively Adrien deserved Marinette. Kind, sweet, smart and courageous Mariette. She complemented him perfectly, not just keeping him focused but lifting him up and giving him strength rather than providing her own.

Maybe Chat Noir deserved Ladybug, but Adrien deserved Marinette. 

Who knows? Maybe both would have what they deserved, or maybe they wouldn't... should secrets remain secrets.

okay so at first i was like

but y'all know i'm a sucker so i saw an opportunity then i was like

yeaaaa caitlyn's a nerd who can't even go through with her own angst

those angst prompts are coming (i haven't started them) but don't nag me about it, i wanna write my other thing first because it's beauty it's grace it's going to put an exasperated look on your face

good night/morning/evening/afternoon guys

have a great 14/15 of november tomorrow :)

LESS THAN 41 DAYS TIL CHRISTMAS