Diary Entry 1

I really don't wanna write everything down, but my therapist says it'll be good to put some things on paper. So here we go, I guess.

My name is Tweek Tweak.

I used to be the most jumpy, anxious, coffee addicted kid in South Park.

It wasn't until I got with my boyfriend, Craig Tucker, that I felt more... comfortable.

Yes, I'm a guy.

Most people in the town were accepting. A little over excessive, but I guess it was better than being outcast just because of who I loved.

I never really knew how much better it was.

That is, until a few months ago.

It was a warm, summer afternoon. A little chilly, but honestly, we were all used to freezing in the snow. The day at school before was... interesting. Long story short, a fight broke out between the drunkie Stan and the fatass Cartman. I can't blame him, everyone hates Eric. Looking back now, watching Stan get forcibly pulled away by his friend Kyle was hilarious. Back then, it terrified me.

6 of us had planned a camping trip together the week before.

Me.

Craig.

Kyle.

Stan.

Kenny.

Butters.

I thought, why not? I was always scared to get lost or killed, but since Craig was coming too, I wanted to go with him.

I loved him so much.

Anyways, we met together on the edge of town. It was a little long of a walk for me because my dad's coffee shop is all the way on the other side, but I still stopped by Craig's and walked with him. Neither of us wore gloves. Holding his hand was all I asked for.

The group of us disappeared into the darkness of the woods. I will admit, it's alot less terrifying up close.  We got to a clearing, and it was beautiful.  A large waterfall splashed into a small pond.  Birds were chirping, squirrels burying their acorns in stumps, preparing for the long winter ahead.  Tiny minos made slight ripples in the water.  I remember using one of my empty coffee cups to take some of the clear liquid.  A memento.

...I don't like thinking about that day.  I'll continue it tomorrow, I'm starting to get a headache again.

Diary Entry 2

I guess I should stick to my word and finish this.  It really hurts to think about it, but I don't want to lie to anyone, myself included.

We all just joked around, as any teenagers would. Usual stuff; 4th grade antics, our old games of Fantasy and Superheroes. Sometimes I wish I could go back to those times. When we were young and naive. When we could do and say anything, and everyone would brush it off as "cute" or "pure." Now, no matter what you say, it's a "dirty phrase" coming from a "dirty minded" kid.

Kenny and Butters were off doing their own thing. Meanwhile, Craig, Stan, Kyle and I sat around and laughed at one another. Craig and I kept pestering the SBFs about how gay they totally were for each other. They both denied it, obviously. Kyle came out as gay back in 6th grade, but as far as I knew, Stan was straight. That thought completely blew over the second one thing led to another and they ended up making out. Like, right there.

After that was done, Craig pulled Stan over into the surrounding forest for a talk. Kyle and I just sat down, spoke for a bit, and he got up to check on them. I was too scared to follow him. It didn't take him long to come back, but his expression... it was some weird mix of confused, sad, and angry. He said nothing and walked back to his tent, grabbing his bag and almost walking away from our campsite.

I asked him what he was doing, and my dumbass believed him when he said he was just grabbing firewood. There was a pause before he answered, like he was wondering what to say to me.

Why didn't you tell me?

It would've been so much better.

WE ALL COULD'VE LIVED.

I T W A S Y O U R F A U L T.

Diary Entry 3

I must've blacked out again. Sorry. It happens. I hate when that happens. Oh well, I'm writing this all in pen, so I might as well leave it there.

But anyway, he left. Stan and Craig returned, my boyfriend sitting down, wrapping an arm around me and kissing my cheek.  It was really late, the sun already setting.  Stan had asked me where Kyle went, and I obviously told him in the woods.  Kenny assured him he'd be back by the time the sun went down.  In the meantime, we set up the tents and rolled out our sleeping bags inside.  Craig and I shared a bag.

That morning, Kyle still wasn't there. 

Of course, the raven haired boy was thrown into a fit of panic.  Butters and I were the only other two up at the time.  I tried to talk to Stan, but... he said something I wish I never heard.

"Tweek, Craig kissed me!  He kissed me and Kyle might've taken it the wrong way!"

At that moment, I knew what I should've been feeling.  Scared, angry, sad, shocked.  But for a split second, I felt none of it.  I wish I could've kept feeling nothing, because the second I fully processed what words fell out of his mouth was the second I realized it was all a lie. 

Craig didn't love me, and if he ever did, it was short lived.

All 3 of us sat there in silence.  Finally, I got up off of the damp grass.  It was like my body was moving on its own as I walked to our tent.  I opened it up, expecting Craig to be laying there, acting as if nothing were wrong.

Nope.

He was gone.

Now I don't know what to feel.

Diary Entry 4

I had to unexpectedly close off last time.  My mom and dad told me that I'm being sent to a camp over the summer.  Apparently it's some place my therapy group goes to every year.  I hope the guys aren't there.  They don't like me anymore.  It's really early in the morning right now, and the only reason I'm writing is because I can't sleep.

We waited until Kenny woke up, which didn't take long, and left to look for Kyle and Craig.  Just before we went, though, we heard loud screaming coming from the forest.  Butters was sure it was Kyle.  That boy always had a good sense of hearing.

Obviously, Stan wanted to go ahead.  And after we heard another scream, much closer mind you, he dashed forward. 

I don't know what happened.  All I know is that Kyle looked terrible.  He had scratch marks and bruises all over him, his leg looked smashed in, he sat down under a tree, weak and crying.

Stan tried to comfort him, but it was useless. Uncertain, he picked the ginger up and ran back to camp, making more useless attempts to calm him down.

When we made it back, I immediately felt that something was off. I tried to ignore the feeling, thinking nothing of it, but it wouldn't go away. I finally decided to look through the forest by myself.

I found Craig.

Diary Entry 6

The buses that'll bring me to the camp are gonna be arriving soon. Tomorrow, to be exact. I'm more scared than anything. It's been awhile since I was scared.

Craig stood at the edge of a cliff. He didn't seem like he wanted to jump, but rather he was looking out at something. I hid behind a tree, standing there and watching him. Whatever he was looking for, he must've found it, because he jumped up a little in victory.

The ground broke.

He fell.

Before I even knew it was happening, my body moved on its own, reaching out my hand to catch him.

I missed.

...

C r a c k

Never in my life, physically or mentally, have I ever been hit so hard. A storm of emotions flooded me all at once. It was too much, but I persisted. I ran down the hill as fast as I could. Faster than I've ever ran. Yet somehow, I could breathe.

I never want to see anything or anyone like that again. There was pure crimson red stained everywhere. His head had to have been split open.

He cried.

I never saw him cry before.

I never thought I would ever see him cry.

Funny how a few split moments change who we are forever.

In something short of a miracle, Kenny and Butters found us. The second they realized what was going on, they rushed us back to camp. Butters pointed out a barn he could see in the distance when he was looking over the edge. That must've been what Craig saw.

We got Stan and Kyle to come with, though Kyle's leg was devastated. Butters helped him walk so we could get there.

Stan caught a signal on his phone. He instantly dialed 911. I held Craig in my arms, blood still trickling down from his skull, staining my clothes. Butters sat Kyle down, he and Kenny watching over him to make sure he didn't hurt himself again. 5 minutes later, the ambulances arrived, wheeling off Craig and Kyle. The rest of us rode back home in a police car.

Diary Entry 7

I'm going to the camp today. I'm leaving my journal here. If I ever get back I'll write in it again.

Something tells me that nothing will be the same after this.

(Word Count: 1632)