I thought my emotions had been all over the place before but this was getting ridiculous.

Obviously I was upset before, and I still was. But once I'd cried out my entire body weight in tears, I was starting to feel a little bit more like a respectable human girl. The first few days I spent in a rage, waging war on all the happy songs that I heard. I vented all of my feelings out to my friends, and online, hoping that Jason would see it. I didn't know what I wanted him to do when he saw it but just something. Still, I was starting to feel ok.

And then that ok-ish feeling turned into slight joy when I discovered that I'd gotten an A on my history assignment, my first of the school year. Who knew my teacher liked nuclear disasters so much? I guess using Jason for inspiration was a good idea after all, although if I was to do it again I would have compared him to a wild forest fire instead. Unbelievably hot, kind of pretty to look at but burns absolutely everything and everyone it comes into contact with.

When I asked my friends what they had done their reports on, I received just the type of responses that I should have expected by now.

"I did mines on that meteor thing that killed the dinosaurs" Lily told me nonchalantly.

"What?" Mason laughed.

"What sort of impact did you say it would have on the world now?" I giggled, eagerly anticipating her response.

"Easy. I just said that it would kill everyone, like it did back then" She shrugged. I was not disappointed.

"What the hell kind of grade did you get for that?" I asked in between snorts of laughter. I swear I could barely breathe.

"A D-minus!" She cried with glee. I couldn't decide if that was good for what she'd done or not. "Stop laughing!" She yelled. "What did you do Mason?"

"He did his on the gay pride march" Bailey sneered as he walked past our lunch table, thankfully not stopping this time.

"That is happening in the modern era you Douchebag!" I called after him.

"Anyway" Mason shrugged. "I did mines on The Beatles actually. Like what the music scene would look like if they burst on it now"

"That's actually really interesting" I told him.

"A-plus" He nodded proudly.

"They wouldn't be anywhere near as famous these days" Lily informed us. "Not with hair like that. It's so 2007"

"Try '67" Mason laughed, leading Lily to stick her tongue out at him. I had to admit that despite all the fun I had been having with Jason, nothing was quite as good as hanging out with my two goofball best friends.

At home, everyone was still treating me like I'd barely survived being buried alive or something but they were slowly getting better. Brandon had qualified to play in yet another tennis competition, this time in our own state, and his first match was against the guy who beat him in California. Normally I wouldn't take that much interest in his tournaments but I was glad that my family was now moving onto the next crisis. My slightly happy mood was short lived though.

I woke up at the weekend to find a Facebook message from Jason asking if I ever wanted to talk.

"Finally got his number" I chuckled dryly to myself. Why was he doing this? Wasn't it enough that he had already broken my heart? Did he seriously think that he could just keep hanging around me as a constant reminder? Maybe my feelings for him were just an ego boost to him. I briefly thought about taking him up on his offer and asked if he'd be willing to wait until I had finished high school for us to finally start something but thought better of it. Would that even make a difference?

What made it even worse was at the same time, he was tagged in a picture with some girl named Ashley, and they had also become friends too. Was he moving on already? Did he even need to move on? I had a nosey look on Ashley's page and found that she worked in an office for an oil company, quite possibly similar to my moms. She was really pretty and I hated her. It was a little consolation to see that Jason didn't look as though he really wanted to be in the photo, but then he never looked like he wanted to be anywhere. That was part of his appeal.

I ignored his message and decided to let Lily's plan come to fruition. She has always claimed that plenty of boys from school are interested in me but I'd yet to see any evidence of this. No one ever asked me out or even spoke to me unless they wanted to know something about my best friend. So I decided to let her call the shots and let her work her magic to try and set something up. I didn't expect much from it, because it was Lily, but incredibly, she succeeded.

She simply started a rumour that I had a crush on someone in one of my classes and apparently it spread like wildfire. All the guys were wondering if it was them and all the girls were asking me who I had the hots for. It was quite brilliant really. Obviously I didn't have an answer for them so I just denied everything whilst blushing, not from embarrassment, but from trying not to laugh at how dumb my classmates were.

Eventually I did get asked out. I was waiting by the school gates for my friends when I was approached by a boy in my English class, Wayne Edwards.

This will sound cliché but I swear it's not. Wayne wasn't like most of the other guys at school. He wasn't special or anything, but he wasn't a jackass. He was one of those popular guys who don't really say much. You can tell he's been friends with all the other jerks forever, from before they were jerks and just stuck by them when they changed. Kind of like Lily and me. As a result, he was one of the more likeable people in school.

"Hey Louise" He said as he approached.

"Hi" I said in surprise. Despite his friendly personality, he hadn't really spoken to me out of class before.

"How are you feeling?" He asked while running a hand through his short blonde hair. He was pretty good looking, nothing like Jason, but he wasn't like a homeless man or anything.

"Well" I shrugged, "School's out so I'm all ready to party. What about you?"

"I'm good, I'm good" He nodded as if he didn't know what else to say. There was an awkward silence for a few seconds then, only because I managed to keep my laughter in check. I guessed this was what Jason felt like when I was making a fool of myself in front of him. "Can I ask you something?" He finally broke the mild tension.

"As long as it isn't about the homework then sure!" I joked, hoping to make him a bit more relaxed. As amusing as it was to see someone like this around me, I knew that it felt awful to be on the other end.

"Don't worry, I'm ignoring that for as long as possible" He laughed. "I actually wanted to ask you about Lily"

Oh here we go again.

"Well not really about her, but something she said" He backtracked.

"What did she say?"

"She told me that you had a crush on me. Is that true?" This wasn't part of the plan! Or at least I didn't think it was. I thought we were supposed to just create a rumour and let the boys come crawling out themselves. Either way, I decided to play along.

"Maybe" I smirked. He laughed before speaking again.

"Well I was kind of hoping it was true because I actually really think you're pretty cool. You're different to everybody else"

"Thanks?" I have never been good at accepting compliments.

"In a good way, I swear!" He panicked. "I was thinking that if you did like me then maybe you'd like to go out sometime? Maybe later in the week?"

I was truly flattered. One of the popular boys actually wanted to take me on a date. This wasn't an everyday occurrence for me, more like something you'd see on a teen rom-com movie but here it was actually happening. Which made it even worse that I wanted to say no.

Wayne was a nice guy, as I've already said, but I was still hurting over Jason and I knew that I would just spend the whole time wishing it was him instead. But Lily and I had made a pact and I was going to stick to it.

"Sure. I'd really like that" I smiled.

"Sweet" He beamed. "I'll call you?"

I nodded and gave him my number. Despite my reservations, it was still a really exciting thing to have happen to me. Maybe Lily was a secret genius after all?

We set something up for a couple of days later. It was a bit of a challenge to find a suitable evening because I had work and Wayne had soccer practice but eventually we decided on something. We went out for frozen yoghurt, at the usual place I went to with Lily and Mason.

It was ok. We spoke about school, family and friends. Like I said, it was ok but nothing like the chemistry that I had with Jason. However I decided to make the best use of the time.

"You know that guy Bailey Robinson right?" I asked.

"The kid from school? Sure I know him"

"Why is he such an asshole?"

"He isn't that bad" Wayne didn't even seem to believe himself.

"Yes he is. He bullies my friend Mason all the time. He's lucky Mace is a friendly guy, otherwise he would have kicked his ass by now!"

"I guess he just does it because he can" Wayne shrugged.

"See. Asshole" I nodded.

"If you want I can see if I can get him to stop" Wayne offered. "I can't promise it'll do anything but I can at least give it a try"

I thanked him before changing the subject to something a little more normal and then heading home. I said I'd be fine on my own but Wayne insisted that he walk me home.

"Someone got mugged here not long ago, you know?" He reminded me.

We talked about our upbringings on the walk back, me telling Wayne everything there was to know about living with a mildly famous tennis player and him telling me about his parents, who both met whilst working in a library. Somewhat ironic because their only son had probably never set foot in one before. We reached the building and climbed the stairs together, our paces almost equal despite his clear physical presence. Reaching my door, I turned to face him, not really sure how to say goodbye.

"So I had a fun time tonight" He spoke for me.

"Yeah me too" I lied. Well, lie is perhaps a strong word. I just wasn't fully into it, and somehow Wayne knew it.

"I'm just sorry that I wasn't really the guy you have a crush on" He laughed even though he probably didn't think it was funny.

"What do you mean?" I asked, playing dumb.

"You don't need to pretend, I get it. You like somebody else. Were you using me to make him jealous or something?"

"Something like that" I sighed. "I'm so sorry Wayne. I swear I do like you; you're a really nice guy. It's just –"

"Hey don't worry about it, I totally get it" He smiled. "I've been there myself"

"The truth is, I really like this guy but he doesn't like me back" I decided to be completely truthful with my date. In the end that's what I was annoyed with Jason for. For not being honest. "I just thought that if I went out with someone else then maybe I'd get over him faster" I shrugged at how silly it sounded.

"It's not that simple huh?" He shrugged. "If it helps any, I think that guy is an idiot. You're awesome"

"Thanks" I grinned awkwardly. Would he still think that Jason was an idiot if he knew about the age gap? Would he then think that I was the idiot instead? "Thanks for not being mad"

"It's no problem, really" He smiled again.

I was ready to say goodbye to Wayne when I heard footsteps coming up the stairs. I knew the tone of those strides all too well. Jason was coming.

Without thinking I grabbed Wayne and looked straight into his puzzled eyes.

"At least let me thank you properly for tonight" I said. Before he could answer me, I pressed my lips against his, listening closely so I knew that Jason could easily see us. He couldn't miss it really. I heard his footsteps stop, knowing that he must have been staring.

I finally let go of Wayne and looked across to my neighbour who, right enough, was watching everything. I tried to smile at him but my face just wouldn't let me. I didn't really know why I'd done that. Perhaps I subconsciously wanted Jason to see that he wasn't the only one that was moving on, but I knew it was still a pretty shitty thing for me to do. I recognised the look in his eyes straight away. Hurt.

Feeling guilty now, I looked back at a baffled Wayne and said goodnight before darting into the safety of my home. My heart was beating so hard that I thought that it was going to explode. In fact, I felt I was going to explode myself.

Shaking, I approached my living room and heard hushed voices coming from inside. I couldn't make out a single word that was being said but it was just that tone where you know something big is going down. I hid behind the slightly ajar door and listened intently. I could hear dad and Brandon exchanging thoughts on something which I assumed was just tennis related until I heard dad speak louder than he had been doing so far.

"But you really like her right?" He asked my brother.

"I do. But I mean, the age thing could be a bit of a problem" Brandon sighed.

Wait, what?

"Four years isn't the end of the world son" Dad said. "In the end, if you both want it then it shouldn't really make a difference"

That was it. I couldn't hide anymore. I barged into the room, clearly startling both male members of my family. I didn't care though.

"Are you serious?" I yelled.

"Louise!" Dad cried. I was unsure if it was still due to his shock at my sudden appearance or if he was telling me off for yelling. Again, I didn't care.

"Let me get this straight, its ok for Brandon to date an older girl but not for me to date an older guy? How is that fair?" I howled.

"It's a little bit of a different situation" Dad condescendingly told me.

"How?"

"Brandon is older than you" He argued.

"And I'm not still in high school" Brandon chimed in smugly.

"It doesn't matter!" I shrieked. "This so unfair! You're clearly only saying that because Brandon is a boy. If he was a girl, this would be a totally different situation"

"No it wouldn't" Dad snapped back. "Brandon is an adult, as is the girl that he's met. They both know what they're getting into and what to expect"

"And I don't?"

"No! You don't!" Dad shouted back at me. "You're a very smart, mature young girl Louise but someone like Jason is way too old for you alright?"

I didn't even bother answering. I stormed back down the hall and into my room. I didn't cry this time though, even though I felt like I needed it. Instead I just kept shaking with anger and frustration, gritting my teeth at the thought of how stupid I'd been lately. Dating people just to make someone else jealous, arguing with my family when I knew they were just looking out for me and still thinking about the guy I could never have.

It was only then that I realised that I had become everything that I had never wanted to be. I was now the standard cliché of a teenage girl! Great!