Nott: I won a new phone in a race.
Caleb: Huh? What kind of race lets you win a phone?
Nott: A race between the store owner, the cop, and me

~~~~~

Jester: Why are you holding Nott up by her armpits like a disgruntled cat?
Fjord: she's in air jail for crimes
Jester: what kind of crimes?
Molly, from the other room: WHERE IS MY FUCKING SWORD!?!?
Nott:
Nott: it was so shiny...

(I fucking love Nott)
(She's this literal gremlin that's really anxious and likes shiny things)
(She's just like me fr)

~~~~~

Fjord: I trust Jester.
Molly: You think she knows what she's doing?
Fjord: I'm not sure I'd go that far.

~~~~~

Beau: Yoink is just the opposite of Yeet
Fjord: yes, but it's just as fast
Jester: the Traveler Yeeteth, and the Traveler Yoinketh away
Molly, looking down the window: I wonder if a fall from this height would be enough to kill me upon impact

~~~~~~

Jester, writing in a pink glitter gel pen: Dear diary, I am losing my sense of humanity. Love, Jester xxx

~~~~~

Caleb: In anthropological terms, Rickrolling technically qualifies as a "ritual".

~~~~~

Nott: you know, I can check the time just by looking at the stars!
Jester, gasping: Really!?
Nott: yeah! Watch this!
Nott: *looks up*
Nott: it's nighttime
Jester, gasping again: that's so true!!!!

(I love Nott and Jesters dynamic)
(They're the chaotic shorties that love shiny things)
(And I love them very much)
(Also this has the same vibe as C2E1, where Jester meets Molly, and he does that card trick)

~~~~~

Beau: So, Yasha...are you straight?
Yasha: from hell? Yes
Beau: no, I meant—
Yasha: I aspire to be a living nightmare

~~~~~

Yasha: you know, I really like those true crime documentaries
Beau, trying to impress her: I have been a prime suspect in over 50 murder charges
Yasha: hey, me too!
Beau:

~~~~~

Caleb: not trying to brag or anything, but I can wake up without an alarm clock now simply due to my crippling and overwhelming anxiety, so...

(Dude, Caleb is just me)
(I mean, his canon character is LITERALLY me)
(He's a socially awkward bookworm with social anxiety and loves cats and this random chaotic goblin he found)
(He's just like me fr)

~~~~~

Molly: if you can't beat them, dress better than them

~~~~~

Caleb; if you took a shot for every time you made a bad decision, how drunk would you be?
Fjord: tipsy, probably
Jester: drunk
Beau: wasted
Nott, currently wasted: I'm fucking dead

~~~~~

Yasha: Why is the tavern on fire?
Molly: A dragon sneezed
Fjord: I tried to light a cigar with a flame thrower
Jester: We tried to juggle torches
Yasha: Caleb, tell me what really happened
Caleb: Uh
flash back to Molly, Fjord, Nott, and Jester arguing over if lighting a fire extinguisher on fire is possible
Caleb: I don't remember

~~~~~

Nott: There's something seriously wrong with you!
Fjord: ...Coming from you, that's actually a little worrying.

~~~~~

Caleb: okay, but seriously, what is the real plan here—that doesn't involve fucking around?
Fjord: there is no plan that doesn't involve fucking around, but we will make sure all of our fucking around will be applied in a constructive direction

~~~~~

Beau: can we trust you, Molly?
Molly: you can if you like, but where's the fun in that?

~~~~~

Caleb: honestly, I hate it here
Fjord: now replace "it" with "women". Not so funny, now is it?
Jester: now replace "it" with "women". Not so funny, now is women?
Nott: now replace "funny" with "it". Not so it, now is women?
Caleb:
Caleb: I'm having a fucking stroke
Beau: now replace "stroke" with "baby"
Molly: congratulations, you're now a father

~~~~~

Fjord: this is such a bad idea
Molly: then why are you coming along?
Fjord: someone has to be able to talk to the cops out of arresting us when this inevitably goes wrong

(Which is EXACTLY the reason why he was the only one who didn't get arrested during the first arc/the party joining)
(I'm only like 10 episodes in so far, but I'm already getting the vibe that Fjord is the dad of the group)

~~~~~

Molly: are you tall enough to play basketball, though?
Jester: are you calling me short?
Molly: I'm calling you vertically challenged

~~~~~

Caleb: who's your favorite vampire?
Molly: The one from Sesame Street
Caleb: he doesn't count
Molly: oh, I assure you, he does

~~~~~

Yasha: what if the person who named Walkie Talkies named everything?
Molly: pregnancy tests are Maybe Babies
Jester: socks are Feetie Heaties
Nott: forks are Stabby Grabbies
Fjord: defibrillators are Heartie Starties
Yasha: nightmares are Dreamy Screamies
Beau: stamps are Lickie Stickies
Caleb: you are all disappointments

~~~~~

Molly: A person may fight for many things: Their country, their principles, their friends, the glistening tear on the cheek of a golden child. But personally, I'd mud-wrestle my own father for a ton of cash and an amusing clock.

(I had such a hard time deciding who to put for this quote because I heard it in Molly's voice, but this is also something that Nott would ABSOLUTELY do)

~~~~~

The Mighty Nein: The gods have let us live another day, and we're going to make it everyone's problem

~~~~~

Molly: ah yes, the five love languages
Molly, pointing to Beau: "touch-starved"
Molly, pointing to Caleb: "my parents never told me they're proud of me"
Molly, pointing to Nott: "I love stuff"
Molly, pointing to Fjord: "I'm so fucking tired, please god just let me rest for five minutes"
Molly, pointing to Jester: and "pay attention to me"

~~~~~

Molly: your smile looks forced
Beau: it is

~~~~~

Molly: let's play a game called "guess my sexuality"

(Idk what his character is supposed to look like, but I'm picturing something akin to a hot anime boy + the baddest bitch on the block who's dressed like they've got money when they have $12 to their name)

~~~~~

Molly: how is "pretty boy" supposed to be an insult? Like fuck yeah, I'm the prettiest boy in town!