T/W: Anger issues and anxiety.

****

Lex

The days leading up to the wedding are drawing closer. It's starting to hit: I'm really gonna do this thing. While there are days, I'm positive I'm doing the right thing, occasionally doubt creeps in and I'm not sure I can go through with it. But I do love Steve and I know he loves me. So come what may.

***

Eric stops by one afternoon, just checking in on me. Ever since Speed died, Eric has tried to look after me. And while I appreciate the reasoning behind it, sometimes I think Eric only keeps tabs on me because he doesn't trust Steve and thinks that Steve is incapable of actually taking care of me.

Unfortunately things take a bad turn during Eric's visit. I'd forgotten that I'd has that letter that Speed left for me lying out on the bed and Eric decided to...read it.

I have no clue why he decided to be so damn nosy and just read my personal stuff. The reason that Eric was even Steve and I's bedroom in the first place, was because I'd misplaced some R.S.V.P's. So Eric decided to help me look.

Eric comes out of the bedroom, an odd look on his face, holding that letter. It doesn't register immediately what Eric was holding.

"Did you find them?" I ask.

"Lex, what is this?" I snatch the letter away from Eric, scowling.

"What do you think you're doing?" I snap.

"I always wondered what Speed said in that letter." Eric's looking at me oddly.

"How dare you read my personal shit!" I shout.

"Speed said he wanted..me to look after you. Not..Steve."

"What does it matter what Speed wanted?" I yell "He's..dead!"

Eric just stares at me. Tears prick at my eyes. I discover that I'm shaking.

"I want you to leave," I say, really struggling not to hit Eric. "Now."

"Fine." Eric heads out. I stand there, trembling and trying not to completely lose it. I scream, reaching out and knocking over a stack of glass plates. They crash the floor, scattering across as I scream louder.

I suddenly began searching for a..lighter. I yank open kitchen drawers, frantically searching. I finally locate one, stepping over the broken glass to the kitchen sink, flicking the lighter on, ready to set the letter on fire.

I stand there for several minutes, tears blurring my vision as I struggle with setting the letter on fire. Suddenly it's as if someone or something blows out the flame from the lighter.

I sigh, setting the lighter aside and clutching the letter to my chest, rambling off to the bedroom, where I collapse on the bed, sobbing.

***
Steve

When I get home that evening, it's almost seven thirty and I notice the house looks..dark. I frown. Is Lex out? No. Her car is here. I unlock the front door, go in and set my bag down, flipping on a couple of lights.

As I approach the kitchen, I see what appears to be a pile of broken, glass plates scattered across the floor.

"Shit!" I exclaim, racing towards the bedroom, calling out for Lex. I find her lying across our bed, clutching that letter Tim left for her.

"Baby?" I say, gently shaking her shoulder. "Lex! Baby, are you okay?" Lex stirs, groaning and rolling over on to her back.

"What time is it?"

"Almost seven thirty. Are you hurt?" Lex shakes her head, sitting up and setting the letter aside.

"What happened?" I ask.

"Eric came by."

"Did....did he...hurt..you?"

"No. No! Eric wouldn't hurt me."

"Then what? There's broken glass over the kitchen floor."

"That was me," Lex explains. "Eric and I got into an argument."

"About?"

"He saw the letter and decided to read it."

"What?"

"Yeah." Lex yawns, shifting around. "He saw that part about Speed wanting him to take care of me." I take Lex's hand.

"What'd you tell him?"

"To leave." Lex gives my hand an affectionate squeeze and I smile.

"I meant to burn this letter," Lex says, picking up the letter. "But it was like I was stopped."

"Like who?" I ask. "Tim?"

"You know don't believe in that crap," Lex says. She touches the words. "Besides, he wrote these to me. It's like they're a part of him."

"I get that." Lex stands, putting the letter away.

"I'm sorry," she apologizes. "I didn't make any dinner."

"I'll order us some pizza," I volunteer.

"Thanks." Lex gives me a quick kiss. "I'll go clean up my mess."

"Sounds good."

***
I contact Eric and swing by his place to get his take on what happened between him and Lex. Eric warily greets me.

"You aren't gonna punch me in the face, are you?" He asks.

"That depends," I reply.

"On what?" Eric asks.

"On what you have to say," I reply.

"Did Lex tell you what happened?" Eric asks.

"Can I come in?" I give Eric a pointed look. He sighs, reluctantly moving aside so I can come in. I do, closing the door behind me.

"Lex told me that you read her personal letter," I say pointedly. Eric looks away.

"Speed wanted me to look after..Lex," he mumbles. "Lex should have told me that."

"I know," I say quietly. "But neither of us anticipated that we'd fall in love." Eric doesn't say anything for a while.

"Yeah. But Lex still should have told me."

"Lex isn't interested in you that," I say. Eric gives me a weird look.

"You know Lex is only marrying you because you remind her of..Speed."

"Maybe," I say. "Maybe not. Either way, that's between us and none of your business."

"I still wish Lex had told me," Eric says softly.

"That was her call to make. I guess she just didn't want to get your hopes up."

"I guess."

"Look," I say. "I asked you to be in this wedding out of respect to..Tim. If you'd rather not, I completely get it."

"I'll do it," Eric says quickly. "It's a good way to honor Speed's memory."

"Thanks." I turn to leave. "Just don't upset Lex anymore." Eric nods.

"I get it. I made a pretty poor decision."

"No argument there."