T/W: Minor sexual content.

***

Lex

I'm tidying up my apartment. Ever since Steve took off, I'm at loose ends. I go into the bathroom, collecting the dirty towels from last night. I stand in the middle of the bathroom, lifting the towel that Steve used, to my nose and catch a hint of Steve's cologne on it.

I close my eyes breath it in for a second. When I open my eyes, a few tears spill down my cheeks. It's really weird, but Steve leaving makes me feel like I'm losing...Speed all over again.

I sniffle, balling the towel in my fists hurrying out of the bathroom, going straight to my laundry room, dumping the whole pile into the washer. There's a knock on my door and I assume that it's Mom or Uncle Grant.

I check first. It's...Horatio. I groan silently. He's about the last person I want to see. I slowly unlock the door, opening it a crack.

"Hi, Lex. Can I come in?"

"Now really isn't a good time," I say shortly.

"This will only take a moment," Horatio says. I notice he's holding a small, white envelope in his hands. He holds it out to me. I reluctantly accept it. When I look at it, I see..Speed's handwriting on the outside. It simply says: Lex.

"I found this when I was cleaning out Speed's locker," Horatio explains. I stare at the envelope.

Speed wrote this to me.

"Thanks," I say as I start to close the door.

"How are you holding up?" Horatio asks.

"As well as I can," I reply and quickly close the door. I lean against it. I decide not to read whatever this is right now. Instead, I go put it in my night stand drawer until I feel strong enough.

***

Steve

"Hey, man. How are you doing?" I just got home and my cell went off. A part of me was hoping it was...Lex. It wasn't. It was my best friend, Dave Torres.

"Just got back home," I reply. "It was rough but I survived."

I toss my bag on the floor, plop down on the couch and lean down to slip my shoes off.

"If you need anything," Dave says. "You only have to ask."

"I know. Thanks, man."

"You need any company?" Dave asks. "'Cause I can be there in ten."

"I'm good," I reply, although I wouldn't have minded Lex's company right now.

"Your parents must still be in shock, huh?" Dave comments.

"Understatement of the century," I say.

What's Lex doing now? Is she thinking about..me? I ache to touch her again. That image of her sitting up in her bed, sobbing, rushes into my mind. How quickly she moved into my embrace. How soft she felt.

"Dude? You still there?" Dave's voice snaps me back to the present.

"Yeah. I'm gonna go now. I'm wiped."

"I understand. Catch ya later, man."

"Yup. Later." I flip my phone shut, tossing it on the couch cushion beside me. If I'm gonna be going back to Miami, I better get started.

***

Lex

Days pass and I wouldn't exactly say things are much easier, but I'm slowly moving on. I'd even returned to doing some photography work. Probably some of the worst times when I miss Speed is at night.

I'll remember all the late nights he'd show up at my place, looking exhausted and all I did was hold him. Or we'd jump into the shower together. Occasionally if Speed wasn't too tired, he'd have me pose in provocative ways, snapping pics of me.

Then we'd go into the bathroom, which I used as a darkroom to develop the film and Speed would finger the finished prints before deciding that he had to screw my brains out. Then we'd fall asleep, half naked and tangled up together, in my bed until Speed had to leave for work the next morning.

I've lost count of how many times I woke up in the night, screaming out for Speed, only to met by silence. It only makes it hurt all the more.

I hadn't spoken with Steve since he left and I wonder if he's struggling as much as I am with what took place between us. Most days it feels a fever dream. I'm also finding more and more that I'm...missing Steve and I want him to come back to me.

***

Steve

I've been neck deep in work and I'm finally able to call..Lex. I'm not sure if I'm making the right decision but I've been missing her like crazy so I'm heading back to Miami. I've also been looking into apartments and plan on checking out a few while I'm there. I've found a few possibilities, so hopefully one of them works out.

"Steve!" Lex sounds happy to hear from me.

"Hey. Sorry I haven't called," I apologize. "Been neck deep in work shit."

"I understand. Are you in Miami?"

"I'm en route," I reply. "I was hoping to meet up?"

"Absolutely! Where?"

"You'd probably have a better idea than I would," I say.

"Maybe you could just come here?" Lex suggests.

"I'm good with that."

"How long until you're in Miami?" Lex asks.

"At least another hour," I say.

"Perfect. That'll give me just enough time to run to the grocery store and pick up some food. Any preferences?"

"I'm not real particular."

"Would steaks be all right?"

"That'd be great," I reply.

"Perfect. And maybe some baked potatoes and a salad? What about dessert?"

"I like all desserts," I say, smiling.

"All right. I should go so I'll at least be cooking by the time you arrive."

"Sounds good. I'll call you when I'm almost to your place," I say.

"Great." A pause. "I can't wait to see you, Steve." My heart jumps at Lex's words.

"You too, Lex."

***

Lex

I'm nervous but happy to see Steve again. It'd been almost two weeks since we'd seen each other. I'd hurried through the grocery shopping so that I could have a little time to shower and put on something nice.

Yet as I'm choosing what to wear, I'm assaulted by guilt and shame. I lean against my bedroom wall, eyes squeezed shut, picturing...Speed.

He'd want you to be happy and move on.

Yet...it's...Steve, Speed's..younger...brother. Would Speed still want me to be happy with his...brother? I open my eyes and resume getting dressed. If being with Steve is what makes me happy, what do I have to lose?

***

Steve

Lex greets me at the front door. She's dressed in a pale blue sundress, her long dark hair pulled up in an elegant bun, wearing dangly, silver earrings and blue sandals. She looks amazing.

There's also the scent of cooked steak in the air. Lex moves to give me a hug and I return her hug. It feels wonderful having her in my arms once again.

"It's so good to see you," I say as we pull apart. Lex smiles.

"You too." I close the door, getting a strong sense of deja vu from the day of...Tim's funeral. I follow Lex into the kitchen, where the table is all set.

"This looks delicious," I say, surveying all the food set out.

"Thanks. Have a seat." We sit down and dig in.

"I'm actually looking at some apartments while I'm in town," I tell Lex. She grins.

"That's the best news I've heard in a while."

"Don't get too excited," I joke. Lex just smiles.

"Too late." I chuckle.

"I'm glad you're happy to hear that."

"Yes, Steve," Lex murmurs. "I really am."