"Hello everybody! It's Y/N here with a small video to keep you guys in the loop. So it's been a month since Dan has been in a coma and still no progress. The doctors are trying everything they can to find out how to help. Phil and I are trying to stay strong." I looked down to my shaking hands. "I'll try to make a couple updates for you guys on twitter, if I can. Phil and I are still not going to be in YouTube Rewind and I know you guys are upset about that, but we need time. With Dan being in the hospital and everything, we just can't. I'm sorry to disappoint you guys but it's just too hard." My door opened.
"Hey-oh sorry you're making a video!"
"No it's a livestream, come say a few words. I've been talking about the whole Dan, YouTube Rewind situation." He nodded and sat next to me.
"Um, okay. Hey guys...I know that you guys really wanted to see all of us in YouTube Rewind, but it's difficult with Dan in the hospital. We have been trying to re cooperate." He took a deep breath and grabbed one of my hands. "We need time. We'll still be a little inactive with social media platforms. I don't know if Y/N has already said that or not. We love you guys though and am super appreciative of all the love and support." He smiled and looked at me. "I'll let you get back to the stream." He smiled at the camera one more time and then left.
"Yeah, guys, it's just a rough time for us and I think that...I don't know." I just collapsed. My brain gave up. It was hard for me to talk about this all. "I'm sorry guys, I can't talk about it anymore." I did my outro and then shut down the stream.
My phone buzzed.
Mark:
Hey, heard the news. You okay?
Y/N:
Yeah, don't worry about it. Phil and I are all good. We're making it through.
Mark:
You and Phil? You guys aren't a thing right?
Y/N:
No....
Mark:
You sure?
Y/N:
Look, it's not what you think. Phil and I are just trying to keep each other going. Dan was the one who kept us both going...okay?
Mark:
Whatever. Ttyl.
I put my phone in my pocket and got up, walking into the kitchen. I smelt coffee and pizza.
"Did you order pizza?" I asked, peeking my head through the door.
"Uh, yeah." He looked down at it, serving it onto two plates. "I know you like it a lot." He handed me a plate.
"Thanks Phil. I'm glad you're eating again." I smiled and side-hugged him.
"Yeah. I knew you'd be mad if I didn't eat once in awhile." He said as he sat down at the table.
"Phil. Do I seem different?" I ask, looking down.
"Of course not! I mean you're a little sad, but we both are."
I nod and start to walk out of the room. "Hey" he stops me, "it's all gonna be okay."
I smile and walk back to my room and sit down on my bed. I open Instagram. My feed is filled with selfies and clips of YouTube Rewind, then I see this photo.
It's a photo of me, Dan and Phil. I look at it. I look at Dan's face. He looks so happy, he looks excited.
"Praying for these three. We love you guys and hope everything gets better." It was tagged with all of our usernames and it was posted by a fan account. I clicked the username and scrolled down the page, it was all pictures and edits of the three of us. I clicked to follow them and then direct messaged them.
"Hey, I just wanted to say thank you for posting that picture saying you were praying. Phil and I really appreciate it. Thank you."
I sent it and then shut my phone off. I got up and went into Dan's room. It smelled like his cologne. It was the same as when he left it. I looked around at him in pictures. On his desk, his MacBook was open.
YouNow.com
He had streamed. I didn't know that, and I usually get notified. Weird.
I felt really emotional. I started crying a bit. Just a tear or two rolled down my face.
"I miss you." I whispered to the laptop. I got up and went into the lounge, my cheeks lightly stained. Phil came in later, his cheeks were stained as well.
"You okay Phil?" I asked.
"No, I-I have to leave." He just left. Without context or anything. I sat on the couch, feeling alone and abandoned. I started crying as I grabbed my coat and my phone.
I went outside and grabbed a taxi.