| chapter 27: bow and arrow |

DAWN

Without really thinking I stumbled inside the Homestead, my breath heavy. I had no idea what to do next. What would we do now everything was turning out so hopeless? I sighed and made my way towards the weapon room. I didn't want to admit it, I didn't want to give up. My hope of getting out of this place and finding out who I was, was all I had, but it was beginning to look a lot like that would never happen.

My feet carried me into the weapon room. As soon as I opened the door, Lisa looked up from her work. I stared at the table, they had made a lot of progress but for what...

'Dawn? Is everything okay?' Teresa's voice broke through my thoughts. 

I blinked. 'Yeah. Fine,' I answered, my voice small. 

Lisa stared at me, but all her emotions were hidden away very carefully under a mask. All her walls were back up.

I was about to turn around and leave when my eyes fell on the archery wall. Suddenly I was walking forward. I took a bow and a filled quiver from the wall and headed back towards the door. 

'What are you doing?' Teresa said, a frown appearing on her face. 

I took a deep breath. 'Practising, incase the Grievers decide to show up again.'

I left the Homestead without waiting for a response and walked over towards the Deadheads, seeking cover underneath the trees. It was weird but the feeling of the bow in my hand and the quiver on my back felt so familiar. So much so that they almost calmed me. Slowly, trying to feel everything I did, I took an arrow from the quiver on my back and put it on the bow. My eyes were fixed on the tree before me. Slowly I breathed in and out, then I held up the bow...

The room was large and white. Pale fluorescent lights marked a line from me to the target on the other side of the room. 'Now remember,' a deep voice said, definitely belonged to a man but I couldn't see him. 'Hold up the bow, breath in, look with open eyes at your target, breath out and shoot.' I nodded my head and took an arrow from the quiver on my back. Then, with great care, I put it on my bow and held it up. 'Kill your enemy,' The voice spoke.

I breathed in, concentrated on the target, breathed out and shoot.

I blinked.

The arrow I had been holding a few seconds ago was now in the tree before me. Right in the middle of the tree trunk. Confused I looked down at my hands, expecting them to be trembling but they were firm and strong around the wooden bow.

A small smile appeared on my face and I took another arrow, put it on the bow, and pointed it at the same tree. But suddenly I turned to my right and shoot the arrow into the branch of another tree. How could I be so good at this?

It was clear that I had done this before my time in the Maze, but right now, I didn't care that I could do this, right now I only cared about letting my frustration, my anger and my fears out. So I took another arrow, spun around and shoot it into the core of the trunk.

A little smirk appeared on my face. Time to test my skills.

I took an arrow and spun around, shooting into another tree. But within a few seconds I had turned back around to shoot into another. Turning, and shooting. Faster and faster. Further and further. It was a feeling that gave me so much relief. Finally I could shoot all my anger out of me. Every piece and part of my feelings. I shot it all away from me.

Breathing heavily I watched the trees around me. All my arrows were stuck into one of them. A few branches had fallen down. And my hand was red from holding my bow so tight. A little smile appeared on my face, this truly was a wonderful feeling.

I started to collect all my arrows again and put them back in the quiver. When I pulled the last one out of the tree I heard something move behind me. Quickly I put the arrow on my bow, turned around, focused and shot. A little smirk appeared on my face once I saw that I had shot a beetle blade. Slowly I walked towards it and frowed confused. The arrow had turned into ashes and the beetle blade was gone. I traced the ashes with my fingers. Weird.

A tree branch snapped behind me. I took an arrow, turned around in a perfect circle and shot. 

'Woah!'

I smirked. The arrow was stuck in a tree, exactly where I wanted it to be, and only a few inches away from Newt his head. He had his hands in the air. I lowered my bow. 'Sneeking up on me, are we?' I snapped.

He coughed and lowered his hands. 'No, just looking where you were.' 

I sighed and put my hair behind my ears, my stomach tumbling up and down. 'Why?' I asked sharply. I had no idea why I reacted the way I did. Everything about him just reminded me of why I needed to have hope. Hope or hopeless. I had no idea what I felt anymore, what was easier to feel. I couldn't just give up, but what if I already had?

Newt raised his eyebrows and sighed then. 'Okay, I know I wasn't fair to you and I know how you feel about this. But just...quit being bloody angry at me.' 

I raised my eyebrows with surprise. What was he talking about? 'Explain,' I hissed. 

Newt frowned and suddenly he looked angry. I took a small step back.

'From the very bloody moment you came here I've tried to keep you safe. But you don't care, oh no all you care 'bout is about leaving this place! And maybe I have no right to be mad at you. But just quit being angry at me. Because I can't have that.'

I frowned, and suddenly it felt like my entire body was glowing. 'I'm sorry,' I whispered, trying to supress the feeling. 'But don't you want to get out of here as well?'

Newt took a deep breath, he suddenly looked disappointed somehow. 'You really don't get it, do you?' He said, a supressed anger in his voice. 

I shook my head still not knowing what he was trying to say. 'Get what Newt?'

'No, 'cause all you care about is yourself. You survived that night but you're still haven't learned anything.' 

I frowned and felt my throat burning. I couldn't cry, not here, not now. Slowly I shook my head. 'What are you talking about, Newt?' I whispered my voice breaking. 

He took a deep breath. 'I love you.'

My eyes widened and my heart skipped a beat.

 'I-I...' 

'That's right, you obviously didn't know I felt like that.' 

'Newt, I-' 

'No nevermind. I shouldn't have come here.' He turned around and walked away. 

'Newt!' I screamed.

He stopped walking but didn't turn back around. 

'I can't-' I took a deep breath. 'I can't love. We need to solve the Maze, get out of here and I can't risk losing anyone. Or feeling something that might hold me down.' My voice was a whisper but loud enough for him to hear.

He turned around to face me, his eyes filled with anger and something else that I did not understood. 'You bloody want to make this more painful for me?' He screamed. 

'Why don't you just accept how I do things!' I screamed back. 

'Maybe you should open your eyes!' He screamed louder. 

I took a step backwards, my body shaking. 

His eyes burned into mine. Those eyes that made my world turn upside down. 'Y-you said you couldn't lose me again,' I whispered, trying to say something. Trying to figure out how to handle this situation. Trying to figure out myself...'Why?'

'Because I know you,' he whispered back. 

I shifted uncomfortable, my bow falling out of my hands on the ground, forgotten. 

'From the moment I saw you in the Box I just...wanted to protect you. Because I had this bloody weird feeling that I knew you.'

I frowned, silently urging him to say more. 

'When I came in the Glade I had these dreams. There was a girl talking to me, I never saw her face. She always told me same thing. To find something that would make me remember her. And then I heard this name, Dawn, and it was stuck in my head ever since.' He looked at me, and suddenly I couldn't breathe. 

'She had your voice,' he finished. 

My heart crumled and I couldn't tell why. And Newt shook his head. 'But never bloody mind, all you care about is getting out of here.' 

I blinked confused and felt a sudden urge to hug him and tell him about how familiar he was to me, how he was the one who made me want to feel hope. But I didn't say anything.

'Let's just go. We found more code words,' he finally broke the silence.

Then he turned around and walked away. Something sault touched my lip. With a firm hand I wiped my tears away and took a shaky breath. Then I followed him. There was nothing more to say. There was nothing more I could do to make this right. He wouldn't forgive me anyway.

| 𝙰𝚄𝚃𝙷𝙾𝚁'𝚂 𝙽𝙾𝚃𝙴 |

Did you see that coming? I bet you did. I think this is my favorite chapter so far. 

Newt has finally told Dawn how he feels, he has finally accepted that he has to be vulnerable around her. Now Dawn has to do the same and they'll be perfectly fine XD

Anyway, please share your opinions on this chapter. Why doesn't Dawn just tell Newt what she feels? What can she do to make up for her silence? I really want to hear your thoughts, so please comment.

Hugs

xXx

UYM