[ chapter 10. punching bag ]

LISA

Trying to be as silent as possible I closed the door of the room behind me as I stepped inside. Turning around, I almost wanted to leave again. Dawn was lying on a bed in the corner, her face was pale and her veins drawn all over it. She was breathing heavily and mumbling some words that I couldn't make out. Newt was sitting in a chair next to her with his arms crossed over his chest as he stared at her. I noticed the dark circles under his eyes and sighed. He had been here for the past two days, not moving a muscle, barely eating and constantly worrying.

'Why don't you go eat something?' I broke the silence. 

He didn't even turn to look at me.

I sighed in frustration. 'Frypan won't wait forever.'

 Again he didn't move.  

I walked towards him and sat next to his chair on the ground. 'She would want you to take of yourself,' I said slowly, looking at him. 

'I don't know what she would want,' he whispered. 'Never thought she wanted to go on a suicide mission, but she did. And bloody look at her now.'

Chewing on my lip, I stared at the girl who seemed so familiar to me. And not just to me, Newt knew her as well. It seemed like everything pointed at her but she couldn't answer in a state like this.

Suddenly Dawn screamed, loudly. The sound cut through my bones, leaving my whole body shaking. The girl shivered as she moved restlessly around the bed. Newt took off his sweater and covered her with it.

A slight smirk danced on my lips when he looked back at me.

'What?' He asked innocently. But I shook my head and didn't answer.

When Dawn had calmed down, I finally convinced Newt to get something to eat. We left the Homestead and walked towards the kitchen. I noticed a boy running towards us and as he got closer I noticed it was Thomas.

'How's Dawn?' He asked once he reached us. It was written all over his face, the guilt for her being stung.

I tried to give him a reassuring smile but felt how forced it was. 'She'll be better soon.'

I saw he didn't believe, and who could blame him. 'Right Newt?' I asked the blond boy, but Newt was just staring into the distance. 

'Sure,' he mumbled.  

I sighed and turned back to Thomas. 'He's just worried.'  

Thomas nodded. 'Me too.' I took a deep breath, making him frown at me. 'It's alright to worry, Lisa.' 

Offering him a small smile I pointed at Newt. 'Make sure blondie here gets something to eat, yeah?'

'Where're you going?' He asked me.

'I just need a moment alone,' I answered, my heart shrinking as another scream came from the Homestead. Then I turned and walked away. My feet carried me across the Glade, not really having a destination, there wasn't anywhere I could go. Finally I reached the Wall and not really having another option, I sat down against it, closing my eyes. 

I took a deep breath but couldn't shake the empty void inside of me. A tear rolled down my cheek and frustrated I wiped it away. Ever since Dawn, Thomas, Minho and Alby had come back, two nights ago, everything had been a huge mess. Newt was suppose to keep order but his mind was too occupied with both Dawn and Alby being gone. A boy named Zart had tried to keep everything going while Thomas and I had continued with trying out new jobs. Minho had gone back into the Maze. And Newt promised everyone that as soon as Dawn would be better they would held a gathering. Because after all, they did break the rules.  

If Dawn ever got better. 

'Shuck it,' I whispered, hitting the wall behind me with my head.

'Shuck what?' A voice asked.  

Startled I looked up and sighed tiredly when I recognised Minho. We hadn't talked since he had offered me his help, and I didn't feel like starting now. 'Just leave, please,' I whispered.  

He raised one eyebrow. 'Am I that bad of a company?' He asked innocently.  

I rolled my eyes and didn't answer. I could almost hear the smirk appearing on his face.  

'So, we're ignoring now? Real mature.'  

I bit on my lip and then I lost it. I jumped up, looking up at Minho in anger. 'What do you want, huh? You just come over here and throw a bucket of sarcasm over my head. As if I don't have enough to deal with already!' I was about to walk away but Minho grabbed my wrist.

'That's why I'm here.' His face was suddenly completely serious. Not a single trace of the playful boy I saw a few seconds ago was left.  

I forced myself to calm down, taking a deep breath and then I nodded. 'Alright, what did you have in mind?' 

Slowly a smile appeared on his face. 'Didn't I tell you, you could use me as a punchbag?'

I opened my mouth and closed it again, confused. 'I didn't think you meant that literally.'

Minho nodded curtly, as if it was all clear now. 'Follow me.'

He took me to a room in the Homestead I hadn't been in before. It was all empty, except for the circle of matrasses on the ground. Minho gestured around, like a king showing his castle. 'This is what we call the punching room.'  

I snickered. 'Sounds fun.'

He ignored my comment. 'We thought it would be a good idea to have this, in case everyone ever wanted to let off some steam.'

A tickling of excitement went through me, now that I was standing here it really didn't sound like a bad idea to punch something to get rid of my anger. 'So, what am I gonna punch?' I asked him, expecting to find some sort of punching bag.  

He raised his eyebrows, as if it was obvious. 'Me.'  

I raised my eyebrows. 'You?'

Minho nodded, not a hint of amusement on his face. He took a defensive stand and gestured for me to do the same. I sighed and shot him a tired glare. But he didn't give in and watched me take the same stand as him.

'Alright, punch me,' Minho said.  

I furrowed my brow before lashing out at him, my fist connecting with his arm. 

He snorted. 'You call that a punch?'  

I shot him an angry glare. 'You offered me this, so you might as well help me instead of laughing right in my face.'

He bit his lip. 'Right, okay.'

I took the same defensive position again and Minho did the same. Without warning, he took a step forwards and threw a punch at me. I tried to move away but was too slow. His fist hit my shoulder, hard. A groan left my lips as I stumbled backwards. A proud smirk appeared on his face. I massaged my shoulder with an angry frown.

'That's how it's done,' he teased.

Oh, how I wanted to hit him. So, I put my feet steady on the ground, drew back my arm, made a fist and gathered every bit of strength I could muster. Then I lashed out. My fist connected with his jaw and he stumbled backwards. In my head it looked fabulous and I looked triumphantly at the whimpering boy, but in reality my hand felt like I had just hit a concrete wall. I let out a yell of pain, holding my hand tightly, clutching my hand against my chest. 

Minho, however, just stood there, massaging his jaw. 'I have to admit, chick. That was a shucking good punch.'

I smiled through the pain and Minho started to laugh, probably because my smile looked more like a pained grimace. And so I started laughing along with him. I barely knew the guy, but he truly had managed to release my anger and make me feel better.

It was already turning dark outside when Minho and I finally decided to stop, said goodbye to each other and both went to our own rooms. He told me he had returned early from his normal run through the Maze to check on Alby and Dawn. I didn't know what had happened in the Maze that night but it was clear he felt guilty. So in the end, I wasn't the only one who needed to punch something. It was funny but we made a pretty good team.

A deep sigh escaped my mouth as I lay down on my bed and stared at the ceiling. I was exhausted after my training session with Minho and yet I couldn't sleep, my thoughts circling around in my hand without ever gaining a real answer. Ending up in a Maze with no clue who you truly are, and then this weird thing with the connection between Dawn and me. Somehow anger was burning through my veins everytime I thought about the morning Minho had carried Dawn out of the Maze, or when she was screaming from the Changing. It made me want to kill everyone who was responsible for this mess. I hated the fact that she was in so much pain and that I couldn't help her. There was a bond between Dawn and me and I wanted to know what it was before she would die...

A hand grabbed my arm, pulling me back. I started struggling, screaming and kicking but it was no use. The hand was too strong. Suddenly water started pouring down from the sky, but not like a drizzle, more like a shower. It felt heavy on my shoulders and head. It took me a second to realise it wasn't rain at all. It was blood...

I gasped and sat straight up in my bed. Pushing my hair out of my face I desperatly tried to control my heavy breathing. My heart was beating wildly as I stood up and made my way towards the window. I threw it open and breathed in the fresh air. The dream was still burning in my mind. This wasn't normal anymore. Ever since I had gotten here I had nightmares. And I heard it was normal, that most boys had had them when they first got here, but this felt different. Each nightmare was filled with pain, misery and blood...They felt like more than just nightmares. It was like it was some sort of disease. And that thought alone scared the hell out of me.

When Clint came to my room, the sun had just risen. I hadn't slept anymore after my nightmare, I just couldn't. But when Clint came bursting through the door I felt a jolt of energy rushing through me.  

'It's Dawn,' the Med-jack said, out of breath. 

I jumped up and ran after him to her room. Newt and Thomas both stood outside the door. The blond boy was pale and biting his nails, while Thomas was pacing back and forth. 

'What's going on?' I panted once I reached them.

Just then a scream pierced the air and Newt visibly winced. I groaned, ran to the door, took a deep breath and threw it open. The sight hadn't changed yet, her skin was still pale, her veins still visible on her face. She was breathing heavily and Jeff, the other Med-jack, was just lying a wet towel on her forehead. When he heard me he turned around.

'It looks like she's waking up.'

I felt my stomach shrink with both relief and nerve and yet wondered how he could tell when she was only screaming with more pain.

'I'll let you two have a moment,' Jeff said, standing up and leaving the room. 

I walked over to her bed and sat down in the chair that was standing next to it, sighing deeply. 'Please Dawn, wake up,' I whispered softly.