| chapter 14: try to remember |

DAWN

The meeting was dismissed and everyone except Newt and Minho left the room in a hurry.

I shared a glare with Thomas. 'Well that wasn't so bad,' I told him.

He nodded, but had an uncertain look on his face.

Minho made his way towards Thomas and me. He playfully punched Thomas in the arm.

Thomas punched him back. 'Keepers? You wanted us to be Keepers? You are nuttier than Gally by a long shot.'

I crossed my arms and nodded.

Minho faked an evil grin. 'Worked didn't it? Aim high, hit low. Thank me later.'

Thomas turned to me and smiled. I couldn't help it to smile back at him.
Minho was far more clever than I'd given him credit for.

Suddenly someone knocked on the door, making all of us turning around. Chuck stood there, looking at us with big eyes. Lisa stood next to him, a hand on his shoulder.

'What's wrong?' Newt asked, standing up.

'Med-jacks sent me.' The kid answered, wringing his hands.

'Why?' Newt asked, his voice filling with concern.

'I guess Alby's thrasing around and acting all crazy, telling them he needs to talk to someone.'

Newt was already walking to the door, but Chuck shook his head. 'Um...he doesn't want you.'

'What do you mean?' Newt asked, hurt clearly sounding through his voice.

Chuck pointed at Thomas. 'He keeps asking for him.'

I frowned at the boy next to me. Alby hated Thomas guts, why did he wanted to talk to him so badly?

'Well come on,' Newt said to Thomas and grapped his arm. 'No way I'm not going with ya.' And they left the room.

'It was terrifying.' Lisa said, walking up to me. 'He almost looked possessed.'

I frowned, not saying anything.

Minho shrugged. 'Everything 'round is weird.' Then he left as well.

Lisa groaned and mumbled then. 'Shank.'

I raised my eyebrows. 'Who? Minho?'

She nodded, her gaze still on where the boy stood only seconds ago.

'A handsome shank.' I added, reminding her of the words she said this morning.

'Let's get out of here,' she said quickly, ignoring me as she turned around and walking away.

With a smile on my face I walked after her. The sick feeling inside of me was gone, but I still felt a bit dizzy. What happened today had left me shaking and with a lot to think about.

Lisa and I sat down against one of the walls in the sun and watched the other guys working. After I had explained everything that had happened during the Gathering to her, we just sat in silence.

I closed my eyes and leaned my head back to the wall. Sitting here in the sun, listening to the sounds of the Glade made me warm inside. I almost felt peaceful. Which was weird, especially in this situation.

'I'm going to get some food.' Lisa finally broke the silence. She looked at me. 'Want some?'

I nodded.

It took a minute of five for her to come back, and now she was in company of Newt and Thomas. That last one looked really sick. It made me wonder what happened with Alby.

Lisa sat down next to me and handed me an apple and a sandwitch.

Newt and Thomas sat down in the grass, forming a small circle. For a couple of seconds we were all silent. Somehow I was scared to ask what happened.

Thomas was the one to break the silence. 'Ever seen that happen before?'

I raised my eyebrows and shared a glare with Lisa.

Newt's face went somber. 'What Alby just did? No. Never. But then again, no one's ever tried to tell us what they remembered during the Changing. They always refuse. Alby tried to-must be why he went nuts for a while.'

Lisa looked at me and I gave her the same look of understanding. Whatever happened there, it wasn't good. And the weird thing was, I had told Lisa a bit about my Changing and I didn't went nuts.

Then I felt someone's eyes on me.
Newt looked at me and I felt my stomach twisting. 'We have to find Gally,' he suddenly said through a bite of carrot, changing the subject. 'Bugger's gone off and hid somewhere. Soon as we're done eating, I need to find him and throw his butt in jail.'

'Serious?' Thomas asked.

'That shank threanened to kill you guys and we have to make bloody sure it never happens again. That shuck-face is gonna pay a heavy price for acting like that, he's lucky we don't Banish him. Remember what I told you about order.'

'Yeah,' was all Thomas said.

'Here's how it'll play out shanks,' Newt said, 'you three are with me the rest of the day. We need to figure out things. Tomorrow, the Slammer. Then Dawn and Thomas are Minho's, and Lisa will be with Clint. And I would like you to stay away from the other shanks. Got it?'

I eyed Lisa. 'So you're gonna be a Med-Jack?'

She nodded proudly. 'He said I had a lot of potential, plus I screwed up all the other jobs.'

A small chuckle left my lips.

'Sounds beautiful. So Minho's going to train Dawn and me?' Thomas asked.

'That's right-you two are Runners now. Minho'll teach ya. The Maze, the Maps, everything. Lots to learn. I expect you to work your butt off.'

I nodded, satisfied with the idea that I had something to keep me busy and I that could do something useful.

We sat in silence for another couple of minutes. Until Newt spoke again.
'Greenies,' he began, already annoying me with the nickname. 'I need you guys to accept something. We've heard it too many times to deny it, and it's time to discuss it.'

My annoyance turned into curiousity.

'Gally said it. Alby said it. Ben said, the girl, after we took her out of the box, said it,' he paused a few seconds but I already knew what he meant.

'They all said that things are going to change,' I whispered.

All eyes turned to me and Newt nodded, but I noticed that he wasn't really looking at me, just staring at some point by my shoulder.

'That's right. And Gally, Alby, Ben claim they saw you in their memories after their Changing, and from what I gather you weren't plantin' flowers and helpin' old ladies to cross the street. According to Gally there's somethin' rotten enough about ya that he wants to kill ya.'

Lisa looked at me but I ignored her. My Changing had been fast and blurry except for the "dreams" about Newt, Lisa and the one about Thomas.

'Newt, I dont know-' Thomas started but Newt didn't let him finish.

'I know you don't remember anything, Thomas! Quit sayin' that, don't ever say it again. None of us remember anything, and we're bloody sick of you reminding us. The point is there's something different about you, and it's time we figured it out.'

Thomas looked at Lisa and me. 'And what about you two?' He asked.

I looked straight in his eyes. 'Lisa and I are clearly not loved here, just like you, but those guys saw you in their Changing, not us. Alright maybe Lisa and I are "different" as well, but we are not as special as you. You are changing everything. Not us. We're just...' I rubbed my eyes. 'We're just mistakes.'

Thomas looked at me, a frown on his face. 'Why would you think that?'

I looked at him. 'Because I just know.'

Lisa shook her head. 'You're not making any sense, Dawn.'

I nodded. 'Yeah, I know.'

Newt looked at me, really looked at me this time. 'You're not a bloody mistake, quit crying over yourself.'

Anger flared through me at his words and so I opened my mouth and almost spat the words at him. 'In one of my memories I was in a room and Lisa came to me. She said we had to leave, flee was more like it actually.'

They all looked at me with wide eyes and I moved my gaze to my hands.

'But there wasn't anywhere we could go and so Lisa took me to the Box, saying we were going in the Maze and safe our friends. But once we were inside everything went black and I don't remember anything about what happened next.'

I saw Lisa look at me with a puzzled frown. The boys their expressions were really difficult to read but at least none of them looked angry or like I was crazy.

Thomas took a deep breath. 'So, what you're saying is that you coming up here was a mistake.'

I nodded. 'That's exactly what I'm saying.'

Lisa chewed on her lip but didn't respond. When she looked at me, it was like she was waking from a trance. 'We came here to safe everyone...' she whispered, 'but now we are just as clueless as everyone else here.'

I nodded again, feeling a deep sadness settling in my stomach.

Newt shook his head, suddenly firm. 'I don't believe that. You're here now, and the fact that you're just as clueless as us doesn't mean you've failed. Things are changin' because you are here. Nothing is bloody lost yet.'

I looked at him, suddenly very grateful for his words.

He nodded at me before turning towards Thomas. 'I need you to open your mind. Be honest if anything, anything at all, seems familiar.'

I looked at Thomas and gave him a nod as encouragement. I told them what I remembered, at least what mattered. Now it was his turn.

'Nothing-' Thomas started but cut himself off.

'I can see your wheels spinnin',' Newt said quietly. 'Talk.'

'Well I can't put my finger on anything specific,' he said slowly, almost careful, 'but I did feel like I'd been here before when I first got here.'

I raised my eyebrows.

'Anyone else go through that?'

All I felt when I first got here was fear and confusion.

Newt rolled his eyes. 'Uh, no, Tommy. Most of us spent a week klunkin' our pants and bawlin' our eyes out.'

We were silent for a couple of seconds. Until Lisa spoke up, sounding more serious than I ever heard her before. So serious that it almost scared me. 'Well, when I first woke up in that elevator, I had this voice in my head, screaming,' she narrowed, as if she was trying to remember it clearly.

'I heard someone tell me that I had to safe everyone.'