I'M SO THANKFUL FOR
ALL OF THE GIRLS YOU
LOVED   BEFORE, BUT I
LOVE       YOU       MORE.

I'LL BE SUMMER SUN FOR YOU FOREVER,

The day that Death comes to knock on a loved one's door, a persons life is forever changed. After all, it is a widely known and understood concept that death changes a person. Especially when the cold and clammy hands of death wrap so tightly around a person that they love. And there is nothing, nothing, that anyone can do to outrun this change. The emptiness, the hollow feeling that will reside within their chest. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. No outrunning can or ever will work. Because at some point, people are faced with Death. At some point, everyone realizes that the world their knew before would never be the same. They could never look out on the pastures and only see the green grass across the rolling hills, scattered with dandelions and various wildflowers, birds chirping and the wind blowing through the trees. No, the only thing they would be able to notice is the wilting vegetation as the seasons change into something that will only kill it off, predators hunting their prey (killing even the smallest and cutest of the creatures dwelling in the pasture), and the trees shedding their leaves and leaving them browned against the ground. The world no longer looks the same — perhaps it is not Death himself that causes these changes within a person. More easily put, it can be said that it is grief that does this to someone. Grief not only changes the world for the people who are under its spell, people can lose themselves within it. Some people find it comforting for the time they need it, a useful tool to help them grow so that the next time, they can get over Death quicker. Others cannot bear to live in a world marked by Death and then painted by grief.

But, then again, who would wish to live in that kind of world?

Anthony Bridgerton never wished to know what that world view was like, at least not at such a young age. He should have had other things to look forward to at the age of eighteen. The prospects of going to Oxford — allowing himself time to enjoy his youth (which came in two ways: drinking among his fellow students & friends and being able to fuck as many women as he could). But, instead, at the age of eighteen he was the one who saw Death wrap his cold hands around his father. Anthony Bridgerton was not able to look at the world the same after that — no one would have been able to. Gaining the Viscount title and responsibilities way before he had even deemed possible, his life had turned upside down. And sure, he still went to Oxford and rightfully earned himself the Rake title alongside Viscount, but he returned home to be thrust into a world of ledgers and keeping his family afloat. He had to be the shoulders his family could lean upon, the person who helped keep his mother together (because even he knew that while he watched his father die, his mother was the one who was impacted the most by his death). His youngest sister was born in a world without their father, born never knowing anything other Anthony being there for her. Anthony Bridgerton was a man weighed down by responsibilities and suddenly the world seemed too dull for him to wish for anything. Because, after all, wishing for things meant he hoped for something. To hope for something would open himself up for a world of pain. And Anthony Bridgerton couldn't bear to handle that kind of pain again.

So, he made it a point that he wouldn't. Even if that meant giving up his childhood crush on the Duke of Kent's daughter (except, you can wish something to go away without it ever actually leaving). (Clearly). Even if that meant pushing her away.

Wilhelmina Fortescue was known to anyone who resided in Kent, how could she not have been? The daughter of the Duke and Duchess of Kent, she was practically the closest thing to royalty (literally!) Kent would know. Growing up it was not rare to see Wilhelmina (though, as many of the residents of Kent knew her as, Willa) running through the gardens of their countryside home, giggles erupting from her lips as her brother chased her. She was not unknown to the Bridgerton family, either. Especially considering her brother and Anthony were of the same age and their fathers were business men turned friends. Anthony and his younger brother Benedict, as well as their two younger siblings Colin and Daphne, were often found running around the halls of her childhood home. It was then that Willa became acquainted with the Bridgerton family — her face becoming one that they saw quite often, among the Fitzroy and Pembroke children that visited many times over the summer months. Wilhelmina was never good at hiding her emotions, especially when she came to be smitten with someone and from an early age she had been smitten with Anthony Bridgerton. It felt cliche, exactly like what many of the poets described, a young girl forming a crush on an older boy. The same older boy who only saw her as if she were his younger sister (at least that was how Wilhelmina had taken his affections to be towards her). And as time walked along, months fading into each other until year turned to year, Wilhelmina felt herself being disillusioned with the idea of her crush on Anthony Bridgerton. Especially when he all of a sudden cut her off.

She knew it was grief. The rest of his family was reeling from it as well. And she may have only been sixteen (nearing seventeen) to his eighteen then, but she knew his world had turned upside down. She just never expected to lose her friend because of it. But, in Anthony's mind he could not surround himself with people who still saw the world with that glass half empty mentality. And Wilhelmina (who had never lost anyone, who he hoped would never lose anyone so soon) was just that. Anthony knew that he could not survive with such positivity surrounding him. He knew that the world he thought of and saw would never be the same as any world she saw. And he could never give her a chance of seeing the world the way he does.

He could never tell her his true feelings without opening her up for the same pain his own mother went through. It was then that Anthony Bridgerton swore off the entire idea of love. Because love could only bring pain (even if he could only think of her when he closed his eyes at night) (even if he felt like they were sculpted from the same piece of marble) (even if he would be willing to try and write his feelings into prose despite being awful at doing so), so he would swear it off to save whoever he married from that pain. Which meant he would never be able to marry Lady Wilhelmina Fortescue.

Which, after all, was probably for the best. She was the daughter of a Duke, there were bound to be much better prospects for her in the marriage mart. Of course, that would only matter if she were interested in anyone other than the person she was so smitten with growing up.

It's funny, isn't it, the melodic tunes of misfortune that describe Wilhelmina Fortescue and Anthony Bridgerton. Especially when considering the tunes once started out so hopeful.

One can only hope they return to what they used to know.

FOREVER WINTER IF YOU GO.

LADY WILHELMINA ALICE FORTESCUE
portrayed by lily james

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ADDITIONAL CAST
Donald Sutherland ... Fitzwilliam Fortescue Duke of Kent
Fiona Shaw ... Marjorie Fortescue Duchess of Kent
Berk Cankat ... Lord Dorian Fortescue
Jude Law ... Marquess Augustus Fitzroy of Northampton
Emily Blunt ... Marchioness Lillian Fitzroy
Kristine Frøseth ... Lady Olive Cordelia Fitzroy
Joanna Vanderham ... Lady Emmeline Fitzroy
Elle Fanning ... Lady Dorothy Fitzroy
(Y!)Mackenzie Foy ... Lady Eleanor Fitzroy
Hugh Grant ... Earl Arthur Pembroke of Pembroke
Rosamund Pike ... Countess Cordelia Pembroke
Imogen Waterhouse ... Lady Guinevere Lillian Pembroke
Toby Regbo ... Earl Christopher Pembroke of Pembroke
Josh Whitehouse ... The Hon Phineas Pembroke
Douglass Booth ... The Hon Ambrose Pembroke
Adrian Lester ... Viscount Sampson Berkeley
Rachel Shelley ... Viscountess Georgia Berkeley
Alisha Boe ... Miss Cecelia Madalene Berkeley
Logan Lerman ... Sir Fletcher Beauchamp
Callum Turner ... Viscount Nathaniel Haddington
Charlie Cox ... The Hon Theodore St. Vincent

•
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AUTHORS NOTE

I ... I cannot believe I am posting another one (I'm actually not that surprised and no one is) (especially if you know my tendency to fall for multiple characters in a series) (seriously tho my Bridgerton universe, now aptly named DIRGE OF DEVOTION, is up to four fics) (probably growing idek man catch me making a Pen fic too or something). Anywho, those of you on my tiktok and instagram knew about this one (I love editing these two they're sooooooooo) (they just hit different honestly).

But, alas, im not going to bore everyone with me ranting on like a mad person like I normally do (I like to call this the case of me being lazy bc I wrote this at 1 am) (heehee haha).

While I'm here though, please please please take a moment to look through these links & speak out on your own profiles about Palestine:

palestine carrd: https://free-palestine.carrd.co/

one click a day to donate: https://arab.org/click-to-help/palestine/

who to boycott: https://boycott.thewitness.news/browse/1

more educational resources on the history of palestine etc: https://decolonizepalestine.com/

DISCLAIMERS
1. I do not own any of the plot lines and or characters created for the Bridgerton series (books and show included). Any and all other characters and plot lines that are not seen in the books/show are my own, please don't steal.

2. This book may contain some of these things: violence, blood, gore, death, drugs, alcohol consumption, sex, crude language, mental health, etc. Please do not interact with this material if it will mess with your mental health!

DEDICATIONS
to the hogwarts founders: ownthelight, angeIeyes,
findtheforce
to the milfs: halosnite, foxgIoves, fxllmoons, awfulmoons, bananapopsicIes
and to my many other friends whom I love and appreciate: spacemania, silksenses, sombersuns, arsvenal, aethrastic_dreamxx, bayports, luckyvirgo, elfaouly, bokuroos, xonceuponatimex, dunbonnet, protectremus, sanktham, luckyvirgo, REGULUSBLVCK, svperboy, starryeyedturtle!

thank you for reading,
THE MELODY OF MISFORTUNE