Morlen stood in the doorway to the living room. His arms were crossed over his firm chest with a frown deeper than the bags under his eyes. He stared at Koda who had buried himself under every blanket he could find. Koda's head was the only visible part as he stared at the TV with no expression other than boredom.

"You've been like this all day," Morlen said and Koda barely acknowledged his existence. "Why don't you go to Alfie's or something?"

"He's busy," Koda mumbled, "with clients." His eyes didn't move from the screen.

"On the weekend? So... visit Connor then?" The more Morlen tried to think of activities his son could do, the more he realised he knew nothing about Koda's life.

"No."

"You're avoiding this- this soul thing." Morlen sat on the opposite couch. The awkwardness was apparent, but he couldn't simply sit and watch his son sink into a state of depression. If Koda's stability fell, Morlen would fall soon after.

"How can I avoid it? I woke up this morning and stared at a squirrel in the garden for at least thirty minutes, willing for it to fall from the tree and die because I wanted to know what it was like to feel its soul. Then when I snapped out of the trance, I cried for another half an hour because of the guilt." Koda could feel the sadness crawling up his throat. "I don't want to be like this."

Morlen sat still, so still that he blended into the room. His stare was intense, his eyes didn't blink and Koda could feel him judging. He could see it oozing from his tense body. Then Morlen jumped to his feet and stormed around the table. He yanked the blankets off his son and hauled him up.

"Dad," Koda groaned, pushing him away.

"No, you're not going to sit here in the dark and mope over nothing." Morlen tried to pull Koda to his feet, but he was just as big as him and he struggled. "Get up!"

Koda eventually stood, matching his father's tall height. "I'm not moping over nothing."

"You are." Morlen grabbed his son's shoulders, squeezing them a little too tight. "You're acting like you're the one who has to kill for the souls. You don't. People die because of other circumstances every day. All you have to do is pick up the souls and take them to Alfie so they can move on. Now pull yourself together and go and do something useful."

"Fine," Koda mumbled and turned towards his room. His father, oddly enough, was very good at making his mind rational.

"Where are you going?" Morlen asked. "I didn't mean go back to bed."

"I have homework."

"It's the weekend."

"I still have homework."

"Well..." Koda paused before entering the hallway. "Why don't you come to the gym instead? It might clear your head."

Koda turned to stare at his dad, the man who stood tall and strong, now paced with anticipation from one foot to the other. "You think so?"

"Yeah, I do."

Koda looked down to his hands. He fidgeted when he needed to be creative. He had to hold a pencil and let his mind wander. He also needed to surround himself with other people, and his father wanted them to spend time together. He shouldn't waste the opportunity.

* * * * *

When they reached the gym, Morlen mentioned on the car journey that his friends would be there. By then, it was too late for Koda to back out. Morlen was very vocal about his hatred towards having a gay son when Koda first came out. He could only imagine what his father's friends thought of him.

When they reached the locker room, Koda recognised two guys. One was a hefty man with a bald head, wearing a baggy t-shirt to cover his beer belly and equally as baggy tracksuit bottoms. The other man, a slim guy and light on his feet, had expensive looking gym clothes, even a sweatband sweeping back hair that reached his shoulders.

When they spotted Morlen stomping through the room, they both grinned, greeting him with firm handshakes. When they spotted Koda standing timidly behind his dad, their smiles altered and dipped with their frowns.

"Morlen, your son's standing right behind you. Do y'know that?" asked the bald guy, narrowing his eyes at Koda when Morlen stepped to the side.

"Yes. I brought him."

"Hey," Koda said and was faced with silence as the two men swapped gazes.

"Right well, let's crack on," the guy with the luminous green headband said and turned so swiftly, he gave the illusion that the floor was made of ice.

The beer belly man turned too and followed him through the isle of lockers.

Morlen hovered like he was about to say something and thought against it, following his friends. Koda sighed and ran a hand through his hair. The session was going to be awkward, but at least his father's pride had shrunk enough to let him bring his son with him, despite what Morlen had previously told his friends about the son who constantly let him down.

While warming up, the men separated themselves to different machines. Koda took the treadmill, Morlen took the rowing machine, and his friends took the bikes. Throughout Koda's light jog, his father's friends kept staring at him then turning to each other to talk. The blaring dance music made it impossible for Koda to hear. He didn't really care what they were saying, but it would make him more comfortable if they made their discussions about him a little more discrete.

After ten minutes, he stopped jogging and turned to see his father standing behind him, peering at the time and distance.

"You were always good at cardio," Morlen said and Koda tried not to smile too hard. Compliments from his father were rare, but compliments about his fitness were non-existent. "We usually go to the weights section. I can teach you some stuff if you want?"

The weights section was a daunting and heavily male-dominated area in most gyms. Koda followed his dad and his friends with light nerves but was pleasantly surprised to see it almost empty, and the only people training were women.

The bald guy made a sexist comment about a woman's figure when she lunged with heavy weights.

"She can carry twice the weight you probably can," Koda muttered. The music happened to change songs as he did so, making his words loud enough for Morlen and his friends to hear.

Koda could feel his face starting to heat up until Morlen chuckled and slapped the bald guy's back. "The truth hurts, doesn't it Phil?" Morlen stared at him through a smile, but his eyes remained sharp and cold, daring him to snap back.

Phil chuckled too. Every sense of the sound was faked as he turned towards the free weights. The headband guy followed him too, leaning to whisper something as they walked.

Morlen watched Koda like he was staring at a very confusing puzzle. "Come on, I'll teach you how to use the equipment."

Koda thought his dad might shout or make a snide remark aimed at his son. Instead, Morlen seemed pleased that Koda had a backbone.

For almost all of their session, Morlen stayed with his son, coaching him on correct forms, what machines targeted what muscles, and the exercises that would be best for his short and long-term goals. The session was enjoyable and Morlen had fun at the gym instead of battling with his friends on who could get the most done, or get women's attention. Koda didn't spend his time prowling for other people's eyes, he wanted to workout and get it done. Morlen found his dedicated attitude rather refreshing.

"I think I'll be sore tomorrow," Koda said as they entered the sweat-scented changing rooms. Morlen's friends had faces like slices of lemon stuck to their gums. Koda presumed they were used to his father's attention and Morlen was a very respectable rugby coach. This session, Morlen gave all of his attention to his son and Morlen's friends couldn't hide their jealousy.

Morlen left for the toilet and Koda started to unlock their locker. He could feel his dad's friends hovering close.

"Poor Morlen, feeling guilty about how Enya's death affected his kid that he has to drag him everywhere," Phil said and the other guy sneered.

"Yeah, imagine the embarrassment."

Koda swallowed hard and shoved his water bottle into his bag.

"Morlen has a reputation to hold. Dragging that disappointment around must be awful."

Koda knew he was the disappointment. It was almost comical that they waited until his father was absent to speak their mind.

"I told Morlen he should've kicked him out years ago. If it wasn't for Enya, Morlen would've got rid. Now that she's dead, I don't know what's stopping him."

"Is he going soft like his son?" The men laughed and Koda gripped his bag so hard, his nails dug through the fabric and hurt his palms.

"There's going soft and there's being a fag. Morlen said he'd rather end his own life than-"

Koda slammed the locker shut. He couldn't listen to more. The mention of his mother's name from someone else's mouth had provoked his emotion. He could feel tears prickling his eyes and didn't dare to let them see him crumbling. So he didn't look at them, only stared at the tiles as he pushed through them and left.

They laughed behind him and Koda picked up the pace until he found himself running out of the exit and across the car park.

Morlen returned less than a minute after his son bolted. "Where's Koda?" he asked a proud looking Phil.

"He ran didn't he," Phil smirked, elbowing the man with the headband. "Doesn't take much to upset him, does it? You always said you had a weak son."

Phil's words were like knives stabbing Morlen in the throat. "What?" he asked in disbelief.

The man with the sweatband's smile dropped from his face, but Phil was too pleased with himself to notice the storm brewing in Morlen's hardening scowl.

"I only said the truth, which definitely did hurt your boy. Having to drag him around everywhere must be hard, especially since everyone knows he's gay. Disgusting if you ask me. I said you should kick him out now that his mum's dead and nobody's stopping you. Your kid didn't like that!" Phil laughed, nudging the other guy again until cold hands were at his throat and his back slammed against the lockers. Phil groaned in pain until the hands squeezed hard enough to cut off his air.

Morlen trembled with anger. His head and heart were so fuelled with indignation for Koda that they couldn't process his actions. He moved his hand from Phil's throat and punched him in the face. "How dare you mention Enya to my boy! How dare you talk to him like that at all!" Morlen roared and pushed Phil onto his back.

Phil groaned and rolled around in pain as the other man with the neon headband backed into the corner. "Morlen, calm down," he said and held his hands up when Morlen's glare was like looking into the eyes of a ferocious beast, ready to pounce.

Other gym-goers had crowded around, knowing Morlen well enough not to intervene, otherwise, they'd be picking their teeth out from the cracks in the tiles. "How proud you must feel to pick apart an eighteen-year-old, my son." Morlen stood over Phil, he almost spat on him but he had dignity. "You better watch your back, Philip. Your mouth will get you seriously hurt one day."

Morlen then left with his head held high. When he was out of the gym, he sprinted to his car and tried to phone Koda. Of course, his son didn't pick up. Morlen punched his steering wheel enough times to bruise his knuckles. For the first time, he wished he could take back all of the cruel things he had ever said about his son. He knew now that he didn't mean them, he had never meant them, but they were still said and he had to patch up his anger-fuelled mistakes, starting with his boy.