Sorry about the late update, I started my second year of university this week! A lot of you ask if I have an updating schedule. I (MOSTLY) update every 2-3 days, 4 days if I'm a little busy, and 5 if I've really struggled to find the time! So don't worry, I'd never leave you hanging for weeks!

Also, I was a little hungover when editing this, so please point out any grammar/spelling mistakes if you spot any :')

I hope you enjoy this chapter!

- Sian

Alfie, not used to receiving compliments, displayed a series of awkward reactions. First, he blushed, then his eyes darted around the room, then he regrettably pulled his hand away and sank into his chair. "Thanks," he mumbled, attempting to hide his beetroot cheeks.

Koda could only smile, seeming to find his flustered face amusing. "So, are you getting in touch with my mother tonight?"

Alfie hesitated, twisting the ring around his index finger. "I'll try, but the storm will be quite distracting."

"I didn't know that affected you." Koda paused, hearing a low rumble of thunder.

"I feel the energy from people, especially emotions like sadness and anger. When there's a storm like this one-" Alfie stopped because just on cue, the wind whistled loud against the side of the house, "a lot of people panic and stress. I find it hard to concentrate. This is England; a storm is hardly ever devastating."

"We do like to panic," Koda chuckled, and Alfie gave himself a moment of really studying his eyes.

His crush had done well to push the grief he felt for his mother away, but there was still odd specs of sorrow all over his face. Strange glints of despair surfaced, but only for a moment. He wanted to ask why Koda wasn't grieving like people expected him to, why he wasn't crying every hour, why he was at college, getting on with his coursework, and why he had the energy to smile when his heart was ripped into parts so small, it was almost permanently destroyed. But Alfie understood grief like it was a part of him. There was no correct way to mourn, and if Koda's way of coping was to push it all down and explode later on, then Alfie couldn't do much about it.

"Can I ask you a few questions?"

Koda raised a brow, watching Alfie sit forwards and connect his fingers, ignoring the blush still hovering on his skin. "Sure."

"I know you're here to talk to your mother, but I also offer support. I deal with people and their sadness almost every day, whether they're dead or alive. If you want to talk about how her death has made you really feel, I'm here to listen. I can't give you advice because I'm not trained to do so, but I'm a bit like talking to a dog or something. I won't judge you or feel burdened; I'll just listen."

Koda stared for a moment- keeping the eye contact that sent electricity through Alfie- before resting his elbow on the table and his head on his palm. "How many people have you said that to?"

"It's impossible to count," Alfie shrugged, "but I mean every word."

Koda stared for longer like he weighed up his options. Something about the medium calmed him to the very core. He knew Alfie was an excellent listener and not a single ounce of judgement had been present in his eyes. "You want me to tell you how I really feel?"

Alfie nodded with a comforting smile, an expression he didn't just hand out to anyone.

Koda lifted his chipped mug and sipped the tea now that it had cooled. He inspected the northern lights printed around the pottery, then sank in his chair like Alfie. "I feel like I'm floating, you know?" The medium nodded. "I feel so empty like a part of me died with my mother. My head always feels clogged in the morning and most of the time I have a lump in my throat and I'm always on the verge of tears. I keep dreaming about her because she's all I think about, but that makes it worse. Sometimes I forget that she's gone and this has all been a horrible dream." Koda paused. He could feel the lump rising up his windpipe. "Dad said I should take a few weeks off college, but moping about indoors made everything feel so much more intense, like the walls were closing in on me and I was losing myself inside my head."

Koda kept stopping like he was making sure Alfie was still listening, which he was with great interest.

"Being around my friends didn't help much, but it made everything seem normal, even if I was going back to a house that didn't feel like mine anymore." Koda bit his lower lip. Alfie could see it starting to tremble. The skin around his eyes was going red. "At the minute, I'm drifting. I don't feel as worthless as I did a few weeks ago, but I don't feel okay at all. I now understand how easy it is to hide depression. My friends think I'm doing well. They haven't visited me or sat down like this to ask how I'm doing. I get that my grief is heavy for others too and it's okay to not be around people who are sad all the time, especially if it's affecting their mood." Koda felt a tear slip from his eye. He didn't attempt to wipe it away. "But they're avoiding me outside of college. It's funny really. Death has made me feel so alone and so open at the same time. I see everything differently, like a glamour of what I wanted things to be like has been lifted and I'm seeing people for who they really are."

Koda's eyes were staring off into the distance. They aimed at Alfie, but he wasn't looking at him, not directly, not until Alfie spoke.

"Death keeps thing real. It pulls us into the present when you notice when someone isn't there, doing everyday things like making dinner or going to work, or being on the other end of a phone call. It's perfectly normal for you to feel everything you're feeling, but if it doesn't eventually go away, you should talk to a professional. I'm not suggesting that because I don't want to deal with your problems, I'm suggesting it because I care about you." Alfie wanted to cuddle Koda and hold him until the tears stopped falling and his face stopped looking so utterly defeated. "I don't personally know what you're going through, but I understand. I've been in a similar position; most humans have too. If we can relate with anything, it's emotions."

Koda didn't know how Alfie did it, but he went from suddenly feeling like the only being going through a death, to being comforted by the thought that millions of people have experienced the same loses, and most of them pulled through. He just wished his mood wouldn't change so fast.

"When will it stop hurting so much?" he whispered, and Alfie's heart fell straight through him, dangling on his strings of empathy.

"When you accept that she's never coming back." It was harsh, but the truth that Koda needed to hear. The tears fell in larger quantities, and Alfie couldn't take it any longer. "I offer many things to clients, but I rarely offer a hug." Koda looked up, and Alfie knew he would be severely embarrassed if he were rejected. "I have a spare awkward pat on the back if you want it?"

The sides of Koda's lips curled upwards. It wasn't a proper smile, though it made his eyes a tiny bit happier. "I want it."

An incense stick burned in the small room. The scent of jasmine circled the boys as Alfie slowly climbed to his feet, watching Koda's tears as he stared back with the same shine to his eyes. They kept the eye contact and Alfie, with each step, felt his heart rate increasing until it was thudding against his rib cage. Eventually, he found himself standing in between Koda's legs, close enough to feel his heat and close enough to smell his fruity shampoo.

Koda held arms open, and Alfie rested their bodies together, melting into his warmth and wrapping arms around his shoulders. He closed his eyes when his crush's big arms wrapped around him, securing their bodies together and resting his face against the side of his.

The embrace wasn't awkward at all. It felt comforting like the boys had hugged a million times before, but it also felt very new. Every feeling, emotion, and touch was unfamiliar and exciting. Alfie's body moulded against Koda so perfectly; he could fall asleep how they were.

"Thank you," Koda whispered in his ear, his breath almost making him shudder. "I don't think I would've gotten through any of this without you."

Alfie lifted a hand and rested it on the back of Koda's head, feeling the smooth strands as he did everything he could to lighten his mood. "Nobody deserves to go through this alone." He felt Koda squeeze him tighter and his mind cleared.

"You have an amazing gift. You help people through the worst days of their lives. I don't remember the last time anyone saw me cry."

Alfie had dreamt of the day when he would talk to Koda Oaks and would be accepted as the boy who spoke to ghosts. He never thought it would be so freeing, like the weight of the world was lifted off his shoulders. "Crying helps relieve some stress that builds up in people. It's good to be open and show our vulnerability once in a while."

Koda nodded, and their cheeks rubbed together. Alfie felt the presence of stubble. "I never thought you would be the one to help me. We have been in the same classes all through our education, and I only talked to you because I needed help. That makes me feel terrible."

"Technically, I talked to you first," Alfie chuckled. His head was spinning. Neither of them attempted to let the other one go. "And it's fine. I never talked to you either."

"Well, I'm sorry about that."

After a few more seconds, Alfie felt his crush starting to pull away, and he wanted to tighten his grip, but he let it happen and moved back enough to see Koda's face. The tears were gone, though his eyes were still red and his cheeks were flustered; he assumed from crying. "Your tea is getting cold." He wanted to change the subject. The past was the past. At least Koda acknowledged him now and actually believed in his mediumship.

Alfie slowly moved back to his seat. His heart felt a little cold now that it wasn't so close to Koda's. "Are you busy over the weekend?" He heard his crush ask as he took big gulps of the lukewarm drink.

"I am tomorrow, but I've given myself a day off on Sunday." His mother had purposely freed up an entire day. He was working too hard.

"Well," Koda paused, and Alfie thought he saw the colour on his cheeks deepen, "do you want to hang out or something?"

It was like time had stopped for Alfie so he could analyse each word. He even heard the questioning tone in Koda's voice and saw the hopefulness in his gaze. The medium pictured himself meeting up with Koda without it having anything to do with ghosts. Progress, he thought, and would never reject such a big opportunity. "Sure. What do you have in mind?"

Koda's eyes then diverted, and he smiled to himself like he was about to say something stupid. "I want to take you out for lunch to say thank you for everything you've helped me with so far."

"Like a date?" Alfie thought, but by the fast rise in Koda's brows and the blush on his cheeks turning to a dark crimson, Alfie realised that he said it out loud.