Chapter Thirty-Nine

"Where's Madeline?" Cavanaugh asked as Ian came out and joined he and Andrew on the porch two days later. The women were all gone to school and work.

"She's watching that talking cheese show," Ian replied as he stretched his arms high over his head and then winced at the sound of a car horn in the distance, "Have either of you noticed how loud everything is here?"

"Yeah," Cavanaugh agreed as he pulled out a cigarette and lit it.

"I'm homesick," Andrew whined as he went about cleaning his gun with some oil and rags.

"I am too," Ian admitted. "There's too many rules here. Too much noise. Too much craziness. I miss riding for days. Going town to town. Having that sense of freedom."

"I miss ranch life. It's not the same now," Cavanaugh stated. "They got tractors, four-wheelers and lots of other easy ways to do things. I like doing things the hard way. Really working for it."

"I miss saloons and poker," Andrew chimed in. "I was good at gambling."

All three brothers shared a knowing look, finding camaraderie in their memories of home.

"There are a few things that home didn't have," Cavanaugh finally said softly.

"Bethany," Andrew agreed.

"Nicole."

"Maddy and Leslie."

Silence fell over them for several long minutes, "Maybe we can take them with us." Andrew finally spoke up and Ian and Cavanaugh looked at him as if they thought he was crazy. "What?!" Andrew demanded. "I've heard Nicole say she feels like she was born in the wrong time. Bethany dreams about the past. Maybe they were supposed to come back with us. Maybe that's the way Mary planned it!"

"Leslie hasn't said anything about being born in the wrong time," Ian reminded him.

Andrew frowned, "Yeah, but what does she have here? An abusive husband and no other family of her own. You are all she and Maddy have. If she comes back with us then she'll have you, she'll have three brothers-in-law, she'll have Nicole and Bethany. And she'll have Hallie if Jamison finally settled down with the woman."

"Why are we talking about this like we have a choice?" Cavanaugh asked. "It seems like that crazy old bat does pretty much whatever the hell she wants."

"Yeah, but maybe she'll send us to that cloud place again before she sends us home and we can convince her to see things our way," Andrew said excitedly as he reloaded his gun.

"I wonder when she'll send us back," Ian mused as he flopped down on the porch swing. "I don't want to go if I can't take Leslie and Maddy with me."

Cavanaugh and Andrew nodded, both of them agreeing with their brother. They didn't want to go without their women either. "Guess there's nothing to do but wait." Andrew finally admitted.

Cavanaugh grumbled, "I never have had patience for waiting."

"See maybe that's a lesson you're supposed to learn." Ian said with a grin.

Cavanaugh chuckled, "If patience is what I'm supposed to be learning then I guess we're gonna be here forever."

Andrew grabbed the bag of chips and the soda from beside his chair and stuffed one of the orange triangles into his mouth. Another car horn blasted and all three brothers winced at the sound.

"I don't want to be here forever. Not really," Ian admitted and his brothers nodded in agreement.

***

"Please, oh please, oh please talk Maddy into bunking with you and Cav tonight. Please, please, please?" Ian begged Nicole as she washed dishes in the kitchen later that night. Cavanaugh chuckled from the table.

"I didn't know tough outlaws begged for things," Nicole replied with a smile. She was thoroughly enjoying torturing Ian.

"Well we don't usually, but I have a feeling that if I held you at gunpoint, my brother dearest over there would probably kill me so.... Please, oh please, oh please let her stay with you!"

"Why is that, little brother?" Cavanaugh asked.

Ian shot him a glare, "Do I really have to explain what goes on in privacy between a woman and a man to a stud like you?" he asked dryly. "Come on, you two! You get to bed each other every night and sometimes every day like a couple of newlyweds but I haven't been able to bed Leslie at all!"

"What about that first night you spent in her room?" Cavanaugh asked. "Madeline wasn't in there then."

"None of your business, Cav," Ian all but growled.

Cavanaugh laughed loudly. It was certainly a change to see Ian being the grumbling, brooding brother while Cavanaugh laughed lightheartedly.

"Okay, I'll try to get Madeline to come sleep in our room," Nicole said as she smiled and rinsed a cup.

Ian grabbed her and wrapped her in a tight bear hug that cut off her air, "I always knew you were special." he said as he kissed her cheek and heard Cavanaugh grumble. Ian grinned over at his brother as he sat Nicole back down and released her, "Finally got a growl out of the bastard. I'm not sure what you've done to him, Nicole, but he's been entirely too happy lately."

Nicole smiled and walked to Cavanaugh who pulled her down in his lap and held her tightly as if he was saying 'mine'. "Don't worry, big brother," Ian assured him with an exaggerated bow and a wave of his hand. "I'm more handsome, more charming, more devilishly roguish but she chose you and now my heart belongs to another."

"Nice to know," Leslie's voice came from behind him and he spun around and grabbed her quickly, pressing a loud popping kiss to her lips before practically dancing out of the kitchen.

"What's he so happy about?" Leslie asked as she took over the task of washing the remaining dishes.

"I agreed to let Madeline sleep in our room tonight," Nicole replied with a wink.

Leslie blushed and fought back her happy smile as she scrubbed at a greasy spot on a pan, "Oh."

***

Leslie was trembling as she stepped out of the shower late that night and slid into her sweats and oversized t-shirt. She really wished she had something sexier to wear. She knew that Ian was waiting alone in the bedroom.

After promising to tell her stories about wild adventures he'd had on horseback, Cavanaugh had convinced Madeline to stay with he and Nicole. Really it hadn't been that hard. Madeline seemed to love Cavanaugh and she had always loved Nicole.

It had been well over a year since Leslie had been with a man and that man had been Frank. Sex with Frank had never been enjoyable. It had always been fast, hard and painful. He had always been more worried about his own enjoyment and didn't care at all if she had a good time or not. Leslie wondered how Ian would be. She was sure he'd be more attentive and concerned with how she felt. Her body heated and tremors passed through her thighs.

With one last deep breath, she opened the bathroom door and made her way into the quiet hallway. Everyone had already gone to bed. She had put off this moment all night because she was afraid. She was afraid of disappointing Ian. Ian was a man who had been with countless women so how was she supposed to compete with the memories he had of all of them. A lot of those women had been trained professionals. She was just a struggling abused mother who knew next to nothing about love and romance.

She walked toward the bedroom, sure she heard music playing lightly and her jaw dropped as she stepped in and looked around. Ian had taken the time to light dozens of candles and the firelight danced across the walls casting long shadows and a beautiful glow. There was a soft love song playing through the speakers of a small cd player and standing next to the bed, looking less than confident, was Ian in his bare feet, wearing a pair of jeans and a white button down that was unbuttoned nearly all the way down, awarding her with a view of his tan chest and flat, sculpted stomach that had her mouth going dry.

She shut the door behind her and bit her lip as she wished once again she'd had something nicer to wear, "Ian..." she whispered.

He pointed to the dresser where somehow he had managed to get his hands on a bottle of wine and long stem glasses, "Want some?" he asked. Leslie nodded and he moved across the room with a fluidness that she hadn't taken the time to notice before. The man moved like a shadow, so fluid and strong. It got Leslie's mind thinking about how he'd move on that bed.

He snapped her out of her lust filled thoughts when he came to stand in front of her and held out a glass of wine. Leslie took the glass and he motioned toward the bed. She was sure that she looked more like a jerky robot than a sexy woman as she forced her feet to move and sat down on the edge of the bed.

"I've never had wine before," Ian admitted.

Leslie managed a smile, "Me either."

"Well another first then," he said with a grin and he took a slow drink, watching her over the rim of his glass as she took a drink as well. "Whiskey's better but wine ain't bad." he admitted as he sat his glass aside. Leslie smiled, "I like whiskey better too."

Ian shook his head, "I guess I should have done whiskey then," he stated. "I'll admit that I'm not good at this kind of thing. I just went by what I'd seen on that television."

Leslie looked around the candlelit room and blushed, "You did good."

Ian rubbed the back of his neck. What was he supposed to do now? For all his womanizing skills, truthfully he knew nothing about romance. He knew how to give a woman coin and meet her upstairs, no romance involved in that. He knew how to have a quick rut with the farmer's daughter in the hayloft of the barn, not much in the way of romance there either. This was different. He wanted to do this right. He wanted to show Leslie just what she meant to him.

"Dance with me," he said as he stood up.

Leslie took another drink of her wine and then sat the glass aside. Ian sat his aside as well and pulled her up into his arms. He held her close against him and spun her slowly, breathing in the scent of her hair which was still wet from her shower. She fit so perfectly in his arms like this, her head resting against his chest.

"I like it here," Leslie admitted shyly.

"Here?" Ian asked, unsure of what she meant.

"In your arms," she replied as she looked up at his sharp featured face. "I feel safe. I've never felt safe before in my life."

Ian hated knowing that her entire life, Leslie had been living in fear. They had talked a lot over the last few days and he had learned that her parents had been very abusive, that poker champ uncle had been an alcoholic who called her terrible names, Frank had put her in the hospital more than once. Ian only wanted her to be happy from now on.

"You are safe, Leslie," he promised her as he kissed her brow. "No one's ever going to hurt you again."

"I..." Leslie stopped quickly. She had almost told him that she loved him. But what if he didn't love her? She knew he loved Madeline, that much was plain for anyone to see, but what if his feelings weren't quite as strong for Leslie?

"What, Leslie?" Ian asked as he spun her slowly, his hands roaming over her back and lower to her butt, before circling back up and starting their path over again. His head was resting on top of her hair and his heart was beating steadily beneath her ear.

"I love you," she whispered, quietly enough that she wondered if he'd even hear her.

His grip on her tightened and she was sure his heart began to beat faster beneath her, "I don't deserve that," he stated. He thought back to all the people he'd let down in his life. All the hearts he had broken. All the things he had taken. The men he had killed. He didn't deserve Leslie's love. Hell he didn't deserve to have her and that little angel in his life at all.

"That's up to me," Leslie replied, as she fought back her tears and just tried to focus on how good it felt to be held by him. She didn't need the words as long as he continued to hold her like this. Her cheek was against the bare skin of his chest and it was hot and smooth beneath her.

"I've uh, I've never said those words to anybody other than my mama, Maddy and maybe my brothers a time or two."

"What words?" Leslie asked.

"I love you," Ian replied. Leslie nodded but still didn't look up at him. So he wasn't going to say it. So what? He was holding her and seemed to genuinely care about her. He loved her daughter. She could live with that much, she didn't need the rest. She'd gotten used to settling in her life.

Ian stopped moving and he pulled away from her just enough so he could put one knuckle under her chin and tilt her face up. She stared into his dark brown eyes and she saw it there. Pure love. There was no denying it as he gazed down at her, "I love you," he whispered. "I don't deserve you but I love you and I love Madeline. I want to be her daddy. I want to be your man. I want to spend the rest of my life making sure that you're both safe and happy and have everything you need and want."

Leslie felt a little more bold now that he'd confessed his love for her. Her heart was pounding and her eyes were full of tears. She reached up and buried one hand in his hair, smiling when his eyes slipped closed and he leaned against her touch, "I want you, Ian. I need you."

His eyes snapped open then and Leslie saw a fire in them. He smiled at her, a real smile, not that cocky grin that made her feel like a hooker, "Are you feeling impulsive again?" he asked with a wink.

She nodded as she stepped away from him, "I am," she replied, "Must be the wine."

"You only had two sips," he reminded her.

Leslie put her hands on the bottom of her shirt and smiled, "Must be you then." She admitted and she pulled her shirt up and over her head and tossed it to the floor. She hadn't worn a bra, that was one advantage of having a small chest.

As his hungry eyes roamed over her, she said a silent prayer of thanks for candlelight which had the power to make even stretch marked bodies look good, "I'm feeling impulsive myself." Ian said with a grin.

Leslie nodded. He unbuttoned the few remaining buttons on his shirt and slid it from his shoulders, "I didn't expect you to be so...hard," Leslie admitted as she swallowed roughly and looked at his lean chest and stomach. His muscles weren't overly defined but they were there. He had the smallest dusting of hair leading down his stomach and into the waistband of his jeans.

"Most men in my time are. It's called hard living," Ian replied with a grin. He had to touch her again. He stepped forward and pulled her body against his, nearly coming apart at the feel of her soft skin against his own.

"Really?" Leslie asked skeptically, though her voice was breathless and her fingers had taken on a mind of their own as they danced over the hardness of his back. Learning all the different curves and lines of his bare skin. She felt him tremble just a little beneath his touch.

"Why does that surprise you?" Ian asked. "Riding across the country and running from lawmen is hard."

Leslie laughed and Ian grinned. "Now I don't know about you but I think I can think of something better to do with my mouth than keep talking about my work ethic."

Leslie didn't have time to reply before his lips found hers. She moaned beneath the hungry assault as his tongue warred with her own and plundered the inside of her mouth. She clung to him as his lips moved down her jaw and along her collarbones. She could feel delicious heat pooling low in her stomach and she wanted more. Never before had a man touched her like this, gently and yet with a hunger that excited her.

Ian moved her to the bed and laid her down gently, using his hand like a pillow to cushion her head as she fell against the mattress. His lips moved down her neck, brushing like a whisper across her collar bones and then Leslie felt as if her entire body was going to burst into flames when they found her breasts.

He tasted and teased until she was moaning beneath him and demanding more. He was grinning as he moved his lips down her stomach and then slid her sweatpants from her legs. Ian was already hard and he nearly had an embarrassing accident when he realized that she wore no underclothes beneath the pants. God her body was perfect. A little too thin but still beautiful. All that pale skin, those small tight breasts, flat stomach and flared hips. Her legs were long and smooth and that triangle of dark hair between her legs was like heaven and he wanted to go.

Leslie nearly jumped from the bed when she felt his kisses move across her thighs and settle between her legs. Teasing that sensitive flesh that had never before felt attention like this, "What are you doing?" she gasped as the pleasure washed over her and made her tremble.

The wicked grin he gave her when he lifted his head just a little had her heart pounding with anticipation. His brown eyes flashed with mischief, "Do men not do this anymore?"

She swallowed hard as she clutched at the sheets, "Not to me."

Ian's grin broadened and one of his hands roamed up and cupped her small breast, "Do you want me to stop?" Ian asked though she suspected by the wickedness in his eyes that he was going to keep doing what he'd been doing even if she said yes. And God she didn't want to say yes. She wanted him to keep going. She was aching for him.

"No."

Ian looked into her eyes for one more heat filled second before his lips went back to continuing their assault. Leslie had never had an orgasm in her life. She had no idea that she'd never had one since she didn't know what they were supposed to feel like but when she felt that pressure building and then suddenly snap she knew she'd just experienced something really close to heaven. Her body shook with the force of it and she was sure she stopped breathing, though she really wasn't aware. One of her hands were clutching at the sheet and the other was buried deeply in his hair.

"Oh. My. God." she managed to gasp. She was faintly aware of him moving as he came to lay back down beside her. She glanced down and realized that he had removed his pants. From the sight of Ian jr., she had a feeling that the pleasure Ian was going to give to her tonight had just begun.

"You're welcome." he said with a light laugh as his fingers danced over her thighs and up her stomach, teasing her skin.

"I've never... I've never done that before."

Ian frowned, "Get used to it," he said. "Because I happen to like doing that quite a bit."

Leslie rolled on her side and stroked him with her knee. His eyes rolled back as he moaned and pushed himself closer to her, "No, I mean that was my first time for that too but.. I'd never.. You know..."

"Never?" Ian asked with shock.

Leslie shook her head, "Never."

"Another first then." Ian said proudly and Leslie found herself laughing. Then he moved her onto her back again and braced his long, lean body over hers. "Are you up for having your second tonight too?"

"I think I'll be upset if I don't," Leslie replied honestly.

Ian growled and then in a fluid movement that brought a pleasured gasp from her, he buried himself inside of her. He made love to her as slow as he could manage with his body screaming at him to take her faster. He held back until he felt her body tighten around him before letting himself fall over that edge as well.

As the waves of release began to fade he stayed on top of her, keeping himself propped on his elbows to avoid smothering her as he laid his head against her chest and listened to her pounding heart.

"Ian, are you okay?" he heard her whisper after several long silent minutes.

Ian wasn't okay. He wasn't even almost okay, "I love you." he whispered. "I need you. I've never needed anybody before."

Leslie shifted her body to the side and he moved with her so they were lying on their sides facing one another. She ran her fingers over his cheek as he pulled the blanket up to cover their heated bodies, "You have me, Ian. I've never known real love before. You treat me like I'm special."

"You are special. Hell woman, never in my wildest dreams, I would have called them nightmares back then, had I ever imagined any woman would make me want to settle down. I thought I would be a roaming outlaw, taking what I wanted from who I wanted it from and riding off, for the rest of my life. But then you showed up and I knew there was something different about you. God, I didn't want it to be there, I guess that's why I got so grumpy for a while. I want to settle down with you, Leslie. I want to be all you need because you're all I need."

"Something is wrong with you," Leslie said simply. She could tell by the tone of his voice and the look in his eyes that something was bothering him.

He sighed, "I'm scared."

"Scared?"

"Yeah, scared. I don't admit to being scared very often, but I'm scared now."

"Why?" Leslie asked, snuggling deeper into the warm cocoon of his strong arms.

"Because the woman that sent me here, she's eventually going to send me back."

"Oh," Leslie felt her heart fall into the pit of her stomach in a million pieces. "She is?"

"That's what she said. She told us that she was just sending us here to learn a lesson or some vague crazy thing like that and then we'd be going back. And I want to go back, Leslie. I miss home. I miss the air. The freedom. The lack of noise and rush. You woke up in the morning and you didn't have to rush out the door to be at work right away. And when you laid your head on your pillow at night and went to sleep, it was because you were tired, not just because it was 'time' to sleep. It was harder in some ways but it was paradise in others. I'm homesick as hell," Ian admitted. Leslie stared at his chest and fought back her tears. Of course he was homesick. Who wouldn't want to live in a place where life was so simple. So uncomplicated? "Ian..." she wasn't sure what to say. She couldn't lose him. Not now. She finally felt safe. Happy. Warm. Content. How was she supposed to just give that up? And Madeline? What would Madeline do without the man she was starting to see as her daddy?

Suddenly Leslie was mad. She was fuming. She yanked herself from her arms and jumped from the bed, finding her discarded shirt and yanking it over her head.

"What are you doing?" Ian asked as he stayed where he was on the bed, though he did roll on his back so he could see her.

"How dare you do this to me!" she exclaimed in an angry whisper since she didn't want to disturb everyone that was sleeping.

Ian frowned, "I don't understand."

Leslie went to the cd player and quickly turned off the soft music that was still coming out of the speakers, "Make me love you! Make my daughter love you! Make me finally know what it feels like to be loved and be protected and feel warm and safe. You knew! You knew the whole time that I couldn't keep you! That Madeline and I couldn't keep you." Leslie's voice broke.

Ian was out of the bed in an instant. He went to her and gathered her up, holding her tight against his chest even as her fists pounded against his arms in her anger and her hot tears scalded his skin.

"I'm not leaving, Leslie. I'm going to tell her I want to stay here. I won't go home. Not unless...." he paused for a moment. "Not unless you and Maddy can come with me."

Leslie stilled instantly as his hands stroked her back and his lips kissed her hair., "Can we?"

"She's either going to let you come back with me or let me stay here. If she refuses to do one of those things then we'll find out if bullets kill healers with magic powers."

"You want me and my daughter to come back to 1875?"

"In my heart she's my daughter too, Leslie," Ian reminded her, knowing it was the truth. It was hard to believe but it was a cold hard fact. Just like the sky was blue, water was clear and whiskey burned in a good way.

"But it's dangerous back then."

"You know how foolish that sounds?" Ian asked with a raise of his brow and a grin. "It's dangerous now too and you know it. I would never let anything happen to you or to Maddy. Not as long as I had a breath in my body to stop it with. Please, Leslie, please tell me that if she'll agree to it that you and Maddy will come back with me. I've got a lot of money saved up. Enough for a house wherever you want one. Enough to start up a farm and a ranch and live off for a few years until we start making money of our own. I'll work, Leslie. I'll get a job. I'll do anything, anything, to have you and Maddy with me. Please....."

Leslie pulled away and looked up at him. He was begging for her? Leslie knew it would be taking a leap of faith. There were sicknesses back in that time and the medicine wasn't as good. What if Madeline got sick? But then again, she could just as easily get sick now. Or Frank could get her. Or she could be hit by a car. Kidnapped. There were dangers in this time that didn't exist as much back then. And she'd have an outlaw father for protection.

Leslie knew that truly she had no choice. She had to be with Ian. If not in this time then in his own. Living without him just wouldn't work. Not anymore, "We'll go back with you, if she gives us that choice."

Ian's shoulders sagged with relief and he kissed her hard and fast, "Thank God!" he exclaimed.

They were about to crawl back into bed when Madeline's voice came to their ears from the hallway, "I had a bad dream and I want my mommy and daddy."

"Okay, Madeline. Let me knock first and make sure their awake." Cavanaugh's voice replied, with a loudness that wasn't normally there. Clearly he was trying to give them warning.

Leslie and Ian quickly pulled on their pants just as Cavanaugh knocked, "Come in." Ian called.

Cavanaugh opened the door and Madeline came running into the room, jumping into Ian's arms and nearly sending him tumbling backward, "Are you okay?" he asked as she clung to him.

"He was mean in my dream! He hit me again." she exclaimed.

Ian didn't have to ask who. He felt his temper rise but shoved it down and kissed her temple, "Nobody is going to hurt you ever again, Maddy."

"Promise?" she asked softly.

"I promise." Ian assured her. "And if they try then I'll shoot them."

"Ian!" Leslie exclaimed.

Ian just grinned that lazy grin of his and shrugged, "Well I would." Cavanaugh backed out of the room and closed the door.

"Can I sleep with you?" Madeline asked. "I don't want to sleep on the floor in my bed."

"Of course you can," Ian replied. They let Madeline help blow out the candles and then the three of them crawled beneath the covers. Madeline laid between the adults and Ian and Leslie held hands and stared into each others eyes.

'I love you.' Ian mouthed to her.

Leslie smiled sleepily. 'I love you too.'

Ian laid there long after both his angels had fallen asleep and knew he had a long road ahead of him but it was one he was happy to travel. He'd lived a bad life for a long time but for them he would change that. He might not be an angel but he was going to be better than he used to be. For them he would do anything.