After I fled the party, I was planning on getting far, far away from home. I needed to clear my head, first of all. Obviously I wasn’t in my right mind (or any mind at all) if I had kissed Alexander. Kissed! And not an innocent peck on the cheek, either!

So I ran down the street, the night air cool and soothing against my skin. The full moon was out, as were the stars. I didn’t often have time to appreciate the world’s beauty. But tonight, my mind was full of ambition.

Then I shivered and realized it was chilly. Very chilly. And there was a giant, nasty mosquito sucking the living daylights out of my shoulder.

So I screamed and ran. Man, I was making up for all those lost trips to the gym in one night. I fled back to my house and hid out behind the bushes until all the guests had left. Right before my parents freaked and called the S.W.A.T. team in to find me, I trudged my sorry self through the door. Mom and Dad were waiting for me right next to the staircase with you’re-doomed looks on their faces.

Here went nothing.

“Nancy!” Mom exclaimed in relief.

“Nancy!” Dad shouted in not-so-relief. He looked angry. Very angry. As in I-Just-Saw-Kevin-Do-Something-Stupid-Again angry. His skinny Asian mustache moved up and down distractedly as he growled in English, “Care to explain what that boy do to you?”

I looked down at my feet. Shame flooded through me, shame because I’d never seen Dad this enraged before—Kevin was usually the one at the receiving end of parental anger. And I could officially say that it was not a good feeling to be the one at the receiving end of parental anger.

“Um…” I said stupidly, stalling for time,  “what you saw earlier with Alexander…and I…it’s a misunderstanding.”

“What I misunderstand? He suck your face off!” Dad yelled.

Mom looked scandalized. “Dear, calm down,” she hissed in Chinese, patting him on the arm and trying to calm him down. “You’re overreacting. Don’t think of it as, uh…sucking face off. Think of this as a great fortune that has fallen upon our family.”

“What?” Dad and I both burst out, staring at Mom in complete shock.

She frowned at our reaction. “What’s wrong?”

“Mom, it’s just—I thought…I thought you were going to skin me alive,” I stammered.

“And why would I do that?”

“Because your daughter suck face with strange boy before marriage,” Dad shouted.

Mom and I rolled our eyes. “Ai-ya, Zhan Ni, lighten up a little,” she coaxed. “We aren’t living in the nineteenth century anymore. Nancy is allowed the freedom to be with any boy she wants to be.”

Dad’s mouth kept opening and closing and opening and closing as he gaped at his wife. I couldn’t blame him, either. In fact, my jaw was doing the slinkie right along with him.

Mom had done a complete one-eighty from her previous boys-are-the-devil attitude. In fourth grade, Andy Wu had kissed me on the hand because we were playing house, and Mom had thrown a spatula at him. At a ten year old! And now it was okay for me to be locking lips with Alexander?

“Mom, there’s something you’re not telling me, isn’t there?” I said at last, staring my mother down.

She blinked and looked away quickly. “Don’t be silly, Nancy. I don’t have an ulterior motive. I just want you to be happy is all.”

Happy, my butt. Something was definitely wrong here.

I turned back to Dad, but he was already waving me away, dismissing me. It hurt, though. Because he wouldn’t even look at me. I left the room hearing him whisper to Mom, “I can’t believe both our kids turned out this way. Such a disappointment.”

A disappointment.

Congratulations, Nancy. You’ve become Kevin Pang the second.

My worst nightmare had finally come true.

A sense of dread settled over me until I became numb. Later that night, I found myself sitting in my room staring blankly at my wall. I found myself doing that a lot lately. Now that college applications were over, I actually had some free time on my hands. So I chose to spend it studying the texture of my wall for hours on end.

We all have our hobbies.

Usually, having free time was a leisure, a good thing. Tonight, it was a burden. At first, no matter how intently I did my wall-staring, I couldn’t get the word ‘disappointment’ out of my head. Then I couldn’t get the image of Alexander out of my head. Then all I could see and hear was some freakish, evil Alexander that kept shouting, “Disappointment!” over and over again.

I wasn’t a psychiatrist, but I was pretty sure that was a good sign I was going mad.

No matter how I distracted myself—with Facebook, my phone, even food—I wouldn’t last long before Alexander’s angry face popped into my mind once again.

“Go. Awaaaaaay,” I moaned, dropping my head into my hand. “Go away, Alexander Lin!”

Ping!

I sat up straight in a shock. Then I grinned Had that been the sound of Alexander disappearing from the face of the Earth?

Then I realized how absurd that idea was. Who the hell made a ‘ping’ sound when they disappeared off a planet? It was official: college applications had made me lose my mind.

I looked up and discovered the source of the noise: I’d gotten a new notification on Facebook.

Kevin: Heyyy lil sis. Hope u thougt more bout wut I said last week.

Nancy: English, please.

Kevin: -____-

Nancy: …

Kevin: Here. www.kvcrew.com/showtimes

Kevin: Type ‘Spiderman’ nto the box 2 get free tickets 2 c a special concert nxt Sun. in Chicago.

Nancy: Why?

Kevin: Dont ask. Jus come.

Nancy: What makes you think I would come? I have school!

Kevin: Ur a senior!!

Nancy: So?

Kevin: Y r u always so stubborn??

Nancy: Why can't you type in plain English??

Kevin: ...(typing)...

Kevin: Forget it. Ur a lost cause

Kevin: Hope u enjoy bein a lil nerd while Im havin fun in Chicago

I stared at the screen, trying to figure out why Kevin was giving me tickets to some unknown group in the middle of Chicago. It seemed like he was being mysterious for no real reason. He had to know there was no way I could go, right? And that even if I could I wouldn’t?

Before I could respond to Kevin's chat, my messenger pinged again.

Alexander: Hey. We need to talk.

That sounded dangerous.

My fingers hesitated over the keyboard. Talk, he said. I knew exactly what Alexander wanted to talk about. The question was, was I ready to talk to him yet or not?

Just seeing Alexander’s name flash on the screen made my heart begin pounding for some unfathomable reason. I could feel my face growing warm. Unwillingly, the image of tonight flashed in front of my eyes. To think that only a few hours ago I’d been in Alexander’s strong, sturdy arms and kissing—

Nope, that was dangerous territory. I was not going there again.

Before I could regret it, I typed a response back.

Nancy: So whatever happened between us stays between us. Deal?

Alexander: What do you mean?

Nancy: You know what I mean.

Alexander: No...I really don’t.

Nancy: Do I have to spell it out for you??

Alexander: If you’re talking about tonight when we 

Nancy: YES! Yes I am. Louisa can’t ever find out about what we did tonight. It would shatter her.

Alexander: Well, it’s not like I was planning on bragging about it to her tomorrow…

Nancy: Really? Thought you would.

Alexander: …(typing)…

Alexander: …(typing)…

Alexander: Are you mad at me?

Nancy: I don’t know. Do you think I should be?

Alexander: …(typing)…

Alexander: …(typing)…

Alexander: Is that one of those dangerous rhetorical questions you women like to ask that, no matter how I answer it, I’ll still be wrong?

Nancy: -__-

Nancy: Let me just put it this way, Alexander. I may not be a candidate for Best Friend Of The Year award, and Louisa and I might be in the middle of a fight, but that doesn’t mean I won’t look out for her.

Nancy: And what we did tonight is not considered looking out for her.

Nancy: And I’m not interested in entering any relationships that might jeopardize my friends. Okay?

There was a long pause.

Alexander: So you’re saying…everything that happened between us was a mistake.

Nancy: Of course. Just a stupid mistake.

Nancy: Made by a stupid guy who can’t even be loyal to his wonderful girlfriend.

Alexander: …(typing)…

Alexander: You really amaze me, Nancy.

Alexander: I thought there was something between us tonight.

Nancy: Yeah...disgust.

Alexander: Whatever you say. 

Alexander: Tonight was a mistake. A mistake that won’t happen again.

Alexander: And just so you know, I DO realize that Louisa is a wonderful girlfriend. I’m going to treasure her because she’s the only girl I really care about.

It was exactly what I'd wanted him to say. So how come seeing it all being written out word for word on the screen made me feel...awful?

Nancy: Fine with me.

Alexander: Fine.

Alexander is now offline. You can talk to him later or send him a private message.

*****

I was doing the right thing. Right?

So then why did everything feel so wrong?

Amelia and I sat alone in Calculus again the following Monday. I’d seen her a few times over the weekend, but other than that, I hadn’t really talked to anybody. Especially not Louisa or Alexander. I hadn’t realized until I’d pissed off two friends that I really couldn’t afford to lose that many; I hardly had any true friends to speak of in the first place.

Alexander didn’t glance my way during the entire class period. Not once. Neither did Louisa, thought they were both huddled together working through the problem set. Every so often, she’d pull a pout, like she’d gotten a problem wrong, and he would patiently explain the answer to her. The look of utter devotion on Louisa’s face gave me a pang of jealousy.

“Staring isn’t going to fix this mess,” Amelia said loudly.

I quickly averted my eyes, fixing them instead on the worksheet I’d barely touched. “What mess?” I mumbled. “There’s no mess here. Everything’s dandy.”

“The fact that you used the word ‘dandy’ in conversation means we are in big trouble.”

“What are you talking about?”

Amelia didn’t say anything. Just folded her arms, pushed her homework aside, and leaned back in her chair. She closed her eyes. “Rant. I’m listening.”

I narrowed my eyes. How could she read my mind so well? “Forget it,” I said sourly. “I’ll just work on my stupid homework.”

Amelia hummed.

My pencil lead snapped as soon as it hit the page, and then the fragile dam that had been holding in my wave of emotions finally gave in.

“Look, can you explain something to me?” I burst out while none-too-gently stuffing new lead into my mechanical pencil. “Why does doing a good deed feel so…so…so terrible?”

Amelia stared at me. “What kind of good deed are you talking about?”

“I’m working as hard as I can so that my friend won’t get hurt by love, and I won’t be the one to hurt her. But she and her stupid, good for nothing boyfriend don’t even realize what I’m doing for their sake. And they both hate me.”

I bit my lip, willing myself not to cry. Jesus, I hadn’t cried since kindergarten. Why now?  Why was I whining like a little kid and on the verge of tears now?

“Ah.” Amelia eyed me knowingly, a smile creeping onto her face. “The jealousy bug strikes at last.”

“I don’t know what you’re—”

“The time has passed for denial, Nancy. It was cute at first, but now, I’ll be honest, your attitude is just getting irritating now.”

I was taken aback. In shock. Amelia was always so soft-spoken, yet now her voice was hard, unforgiving. “Irritating?” I breathed. “Aren’t you going a little too—?”

Amelia shook her head and cut me off. “Just face it: you’re in love. But so is Louisa. And that’s what makes this all very, very complicated.”

I slowly let out a breath, realizing that Amelia was right, as usual. I couldn’t hide it any longer. I couldn’t lie to myself any longer. Oh, who had I been kidding all this time? The attraction was there. Obviously. It had always been there.

Too bad it had always been there for Louisa, too.

I swallowed. Without my meaning to, my eyes flickered toward Louisa and Alexander sharing a laugh. A sharp pain spread through my chest.

“So…what do I do now?” I said at last.

Amelia beamed. “Simple. You go on vacation.”

I stared, wondering if I’d heard wrong. “And how exactly is that supposed to solve all my problems?”

“Oh, you’d be surprised. Studies have proven that vacations really are necessary for the human body to function, you know. It’s not good to labor under stressful conditions all day—”

Jesus, I was drooling. “Save me the thrilling lecture, Amelia. Just tell me—what do you have in mind? Am I supposed to convince my parents to take me out to Disneyworld or something? You know they’re already freaked out about Kevin.”

“No, Nancy. Think. Thanksgiving vacation is in two days.”

“And?”

Amelia’s smile widened and she giggled, clasping my hand into hers. “And you and I are going to take a little road trip.”

*****

A/N - So not that exciting...but no worries, the next update marks the beginning of an important arc to the story :) And no, of course Alexander and Nancy can't get together that soon. That would just be too easy :P