Chapter 8: Promises of Change
"Just like you?" Valena felt the color drain from her cheeks. "Do you mean to tell me that Saint Friar was trying to kill the people of Villdesong, not save them?"
Sulana nodded grimly. "As all the others have tried too, or have already done."
A sharp sliver of cold sliced down Valena's spine. Her mind boggled to comprehend what Sulana was saying. In the beginning she'd thought the woman had simply gone mad. Links? Voices? Reathes? Too anyone else it was down right lunacy. Even Valena had to admit that it was almost too much to comprehend.
"No, that can't be true." And yet, there was a grain of truth to be found in Sulana's words. Valena had to come to terms with what she'd seen first hand, no matter how much she wanted to deny it. The Rot that infected the land. The convenience of Saint Friar's aid. The slow degradation that seemed to swallow up Villdesong like a cancer. They each held a profoundness to them that felt so real, and it only bore her more questions.
"Sulana, what are the Links? What is the Chain? You talk about them as if they're important, but I cannot make heads or tails on what you mean."
Sulana rubbed her chin in contemplation, opened her mouth, then closed it. Reaching towards the fire, she pulled out one of the half burnt sticks and began tracing into the sand. "Think of the entire history of your world. From the earliest recorded moment till now. Think of Villdesong. Think of what it will become, what the future has in store for it, how far it will stretch across the map of Ankranth one day."
Valena frowned, wondering where Sulana was going with all this. "All right then."
"Now, think about how long Villdesong will last after that. How long will it be till the kingdom's inevitable collapse. How long till another kingdom rises from its ashes. And so on. And so on. And so on. A thousand kingdoms that will rise and fall, and rise and fall in a never ending tide, until finally only the winds will remember them, their histories scattered and long since forgotten."
Valena swallowed dryly. "Okay."
Sulana finished her tracing and pointed at it with her stick. "That is one entire Link."
Valena looked at the ground. Before her was a simple oval loop, crudely drawn, and yet even just staring at it made the pit in her stomach sink further. To think of time at such a grand scale, it made her existence feel so small in comparison
"Now," Sulana continued. "Think of each Link connecting together." She drew more loops into the sand. "Ages upon ages. Eons upon Eons, each with civilizations rising and falling against the tides of time." With one last flourish, she sat back, beckoning Valena to look with a wave of her hand.
She did so, and what she saw made her blood go cold. The loops that Sulana traced connected into a singular oval shape. And there were so many of them too Valena realized, each holding a countless time, a world upon which all life came and went. Her world. Sulana's world. Everyone. Even the Saint. Even Rouse.
"Together they form The Chain." Sulana said.
"Goddess above," Valena whispered. She looked up at Sulana. "And you've been to them all?"
"Almost," Sulana shrugged. "Traveling through the Links has proven both difficult and surprisingly straight forward. I can only ever travel down the Chain, Link by Link. Never backwards. Always down. The Cronno only gave me enough power for one singular rotation." She dug into her pack, produced one of the tinderboxes and tossed it to Valena.
Catching the box deftly with one hand, Valena peered at it. At a glance it looked like any other ordinary tinderbox, but that all changed the moment she slid the lid back. Inside were three strange looking objects, like matchsticks in appearance, but with the color and consistency all wrong. Instead of cherry red, the bulbous heads were a vibrant purple and gold. Instead of smooth, bright wood, the sticks were gray and gnarled, like long, thin fingerbones.
"What are they?" Valena asked.
"Pieces of the Cronno," Sulana said. "Each fastened to a twig made from it's branches. One for every Link. A long time ago that box was brimming with them, but now there's only those three left."
"Three left." Valena repeated, trying to comprehend everything Sulana had said so far, and once again failing quite miserably at that. It took all she had not to cackle madly then. Her whole world had turned upside down and here she was, staring at matchsticks that weren't matchsticks, with an assassin who wasn't an assassin, surrounded by children who weren't children in the slightest.
It all felt like a bad dream honestly, one that Valena desperately wished to wake up from. This couldn't be her reality, no matter how real it felt. She must have slipped on a wrung back in the sewers, cracked her head on the stones and all this was just a fever dream induced by the miasma and sludge she'd fallen into. Any time now she'd wake up and be back home safely in her bed, with Rouse alive and well, smiling just like how her father smiled.
Valena closed her eyes, wished for this ludicrous dream to end, and opened them again. Sulana still sat there on the log, watching her with a puzzled expression. The weight of Alphy on her lap was still there too, as was the burning wind and the crackling fire, and the cold, seeping dread in her guts.
Realization struck Valena like a slap to the face then. "How am I going to get home?" Terror gripped her like a vice, squeezing the air from her lungs. She surged up from the log, clutching Alphy against her chest as if he alone could keep her sanity grounded.
Sulana rose with her, palms held flat and open. "Now hold on," She began to say, trying best to sound calm, but even Valena could hear her uncertainty.
"You said so yourself," Valena jabbed an accusatory finger at her. "You can only go down the Chain, and we've already passed my Link. What am I supposed to do?"
"I'm sure we can find a way," Sulana said, trying to convince her, but she might as well have been trying to convince a storm to pass. Valena's thoughts raced in her head, her heart one loud drum beat in her ears. Her hands began to tremble madly and she lost her grip on Alphy. He hit the ground with a heavy thump and scampered off with the others.
Sulana took a wary step towards her. "Valena. Please. We'll figure something out."
Valena didn't know when she'd drawn the Razor, only that it was out now, the blade brightly keen in the stillborn light. "You've killed me," the words tumbled out of her in rushed, panicked breaths. "You've killed me just like you killed Rouse, only you gave him the mercy of dying in his own Link. I'll rot out here. Alone. Forgotten."
Sulana's eyes stared intently at the Razor, her jaw clenched tight, her hands still held out before her. "Valena," she paused to swallow. "Put the blade down. We can fix this."
Valena took a step back, then another, still keeping the weapon trained. "No, you can't. No one can. Not now." Sucking in a ragged breath, Valena did the one thing she thought was still within her power. She turned and ran.
*
Sulana sat miserably by the fire, jostling the embers with the stick. The children sat quietly beside her, a rarity that she should have thought a blessing, but the circumstances spoke otherwise. She sank deeper into her haunches, her regrets piling ever higher.
It had been foolish to tell Valena everything. The poor girl, to be thrusted upon with such knowledge, especially at such a young age. Her poor mind must have snapped then, unable or unwilling to accept what had been revealed. Sulana ran a hand across her scalp, felt the whiskers tickle her palm. The feeling was oddly comforting.
"When is the Limirick coming back?" Alphy asked.
Sulana gave a weak smile and patted him on the head. "I don't think she is coming back. Not willingly at least."
"Oh," Alphy swung his legs over the log, his pincers clasped together in his lap. "Was it something I did?"
"Of course not my child," Sulana picked him up and gave him a peck on his cold brow before setting him back down. "You all were so sweet to her," she said, nodding to the others. "She's just scared, is all. Just like how you three were when I first found you. Remember?"
"I do, I do!" said Bee excitedly. "Everything was turning into mush!"
"Mushy mush!" Gamm echoed.
"And then you found us momma!" cheered Alphy.
"That's right, and now look at you. My three brave little warriors." That appeared to lift the children's spirits. Alphy hopped off the log and began chasing Bee and Gamm. Before too long they were playing another game of tag, their little minds soon preoccupied.
Sulana watched them for a moment, wishing she could be like them. So young and innocent, never having to worry about the bigger picture. Their lives were as whimsical and carefree as...well...their flesh and bone counterparts. Ignorance truly was bliss, she supposed, and knowledge was nothing more than a curse.
But it was a curse she had to bear. As did Valena. There was no turning back now and running wasn't an option. Sulana gave a hard sigh and rose from the log, realizing what she had to do.
"Where are you going momma?" Gamm asked her.
"I'm going to go find the Limirick," Sulana said. "I'll only be gone for a little bit, so you three keep by the fire and stay out of trouble. If you see anything that isn't me or her, you know what to do right?"
"Hide and play dead!" They chirped in unison. Sulana gave them a wry smile and stalked off for Valena. It didn't take long to track her down. Past the jutting Butte the land dipped down towards a sheer cliffside, overlooking a long stretch of desert that seemed endless. Valena sat along the edge facing the horizon, the sword stabbed into the ground beside her.
For a brief moment Sulana wondered if the apprentice was going to jump, but she merely sat there, legs dangling, hands at her sides, head bobbing as she sang to herself. Sulana dared to take another step closer, then another, and another, until she was practically standing behind Valena. The apprentice didn't move. Didn't so much as look up at her, as if acknowledging her existence meant having to acknowledge everything else around her. No doubt the apprentice would simply ignore her till she walked away, but Sulana was just as stubborn. She sat down beside Valena, opposite the blade of course.
"That's a lovely song you're singing," Sulana said. The apprentice said nothing, so she kept talking for the both of them. "I'd join you if I could, but I couldn't carry a tune to save my life."
A few awkward minutes passed before Valena finally started speaking. "It's a Canticle."
"A what?" Sulana asked.
"What I'm singing. It's Sanguiness' fifth Canticle. My father used to sing it to me before bed." Valena glanced over at Sulana, her eyes red and wet with tears.
"What's it about?" Sulana asked.
Valena sniffed and wiped her nose. "It was about being brave. About finding hope where there is none. It helped me fall asleep. Helped me be less afraid of the dark." She tried to smile, but it came out gloomy and mirthless. "A childish notion I know, but back then the dark used to be the only thing I was afraid of. The only thing that ever gave me pause," she shrugged her shoulders. Well, that and bugs too."
Sulana could not help but laugh at that, a pure genuine sound that shook her to her core. She cupped a hand over her mouth and doubled over, chuckling as if it were the funniest thing in the world.
"It's not that funny," Valena whined and shoved at Sulana, but even she wasn't immune to the laughter. They remained there for a good while, chuckling into the stillborn sky till Sulana felt she was about to burst. She wiped a tear from her eye and did best to try and compose herself.
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I don't mean to offend you, I just found what you said so ridiculously true. If bugs and the dark were all that needed to be feared, our lives would be so much easier."
"Entirely," Valena's smile slowly faded away as she grew thoughtful. "I'm...I'm sorry about what happened back there. I overreacted. I don't know why I drew the Razor. It was suddenly in my hands and I—,"
"It's okay," Sulana placed an assuring hand on her shoulder. "I dare say I would have done the same in your shoes. It's a lot to take in." And she waved a hand over the long stretch of desert before her. "All this."
"I just want to go home," Valena began to say.
"I know. Which is why I'm going to make sure that you do."
Valena gave her a curious look. "But I thought you said there were only three matchsticks left. Enough for you to get home at least."
"I did, didn't I?" Sulana nodded in agreement. "But I never said I couldn't make more."
"What do you mean?"
"Do you know why the Cronno is so special?" Sulana interjected. "Why it allows others to traverse through the Chain?"
Valena blinked for a moment before answering. "No."
"Because it exists in every Link. It is the one truth, an axiom, that subsists throughout the entire Chain and its heart holds the power to cross it."
Valena's eyes grew wide at Sulana's proposal. "So if we find the Cronno in this Link...,"
"Then I can make the tools necessary to send you home," Sulana said.
Valena grew very still. Her eyes searched Sulana's for any signs that she was lying, but she would not find them. What she had said was the truth. The Cronno of this Link would help them find her home, just as Sulana's Cronno had helped her. All they needed to do was find it.
Valena fell into Sulana then, weeping openly, hand clutching at her ratty coat. "Thank you!" she said, her body wracked by jolting sobs. "Thank you!"
Sulana placed her arms around the weeping girl, patted her on the back, rocked her back and forth, as she had done with her own daughter so many years ago. "It's all right," she murmured to Valena. "It's going to be all right."
When Valena had stopped crying, they left for the camp together. The children cheered upon their return, Alphy especially, practically clamoring up Valena's leg like a cat to be held once again. They sat by the fire for a while, before Valena went off to sleep. She'd been through a lot so far, Sulana thought. The poor girl certainly needed it.
So she sat alone by the fire a bit, watching as the flames crackled, her eyes peering up every now and then in search of unwanted visitors, but there was only she and the sleeping girl and the resting children, finally inert in her pack.
"You shouldn't have told her about the Cronno," The voice in her head piped up. Sulana grimaced. She'd almost forgotten about the damnable thing.
"I think I liked you better when you were quiet," Sulana muttered, keeping her voice low so as to not wake the others.
"You know what will happen if you take its heart," The voice pressed.
"I dare say we are already past that point."
"It's what The Whole One wants."
Sulana cocked a curious brow. "Don't you mean, it's what you want?"
The voice was quiet for a good long while then, long enough for Sulana to wonder if it had traipsed off once more, maybe for good this time, but alas, her hopes were dashed when it spoke again. "No. I don't want this anymore. I've seen enough...I've been enough now to know that this is wrong. Existence is a cruel and hard thing, but it can also be kind, and foolish, and thoughtful. I see that now."
Sulana didn't quite know what to say to that. She chewed on her lip, wondering what in the void had gotten into the voice so suddenly to start acting like this. "That is, surprising to hear you say." she said finally.
"Being stuck in your head will do that to you."
Sulana snorted. "Was that sarcasm I heard just now?"
She heard the voice chuckle. "Perhaps, but that is not the point I'm trying to make. The point is, taking this Link's Cronno will only make The Whole One stronger. We can't afford this to happen."
Sulana grimaced at that. The voice was right, the bastard. Any advantage The Whole One could have would only make her journey that much more difficult. Even if it was there were only three Links left.
Sulana stared absently as she weighed her options. She stared at the fire, at the satchel where the children slept, before finally resting her gaze on Valena's sleeping form. She watched the young girl's body rise and fall with every slow breath, watched her twitch as she dreamed. In a lot of ways, she reminded Sulana of herself. Headstrong, stubborn, dutiful to a fault. It was what made her a capable Comleor, as no doubt it made Valena a capable Limiren.
"I think we can afford one more Cronno," Sulana said.
"Well, I can't exactly stop you then. Can I?" The voice remarked.
"No, not anymore at least." Sulana stifled back a yawn and slowly rose from the log, feeling as her bones began to ache. Searching for a comfortable spot of ground, she settled into a particular shady patch of sand and closed her eyes. Already she could feel the dull ache forming in her body, sapped away into the cold ground beneath her. It was a constant reminder now, a curse given by age. Had it really been that long? Surely not, but she had to agree, her youth had been ages ago, both figuratively and literally.
Sulana tried to sleep, but she felt the need to say more. "By the way, I noticed something."
"Hmm?" The voice perked up lazily. "And what would that be?"
"You've been referring to yourself in the singular for a bit now. Having a change of heart?"
"I suppose you're right. It seems I've grown quite comfortable being an individual. It feels right. Like a coat tailored just for me."
Sulana tapped a finger to her cheek. "Well if that's the case you'll need a name. Can't keep calling you the voice in my head now can we?"
"No, I guess not. What should it be then? I'm not very good at choosing. For obvious reasons."
"How about Vox?" Sulana proposed.
"Vox... Yes, I like it. It's a strong word. A powerful word. It gives me meaning. A purpose. A voice. I am Vox,"
"Well I'm glad you like it," said Sulana as she turned to fall asleep, not realizing that Vox was far from done.
"I am Vox! I am me! I am—,"
Sulana slapped her head. "All right, all right, give it a rest. there's no need for shouting."
"Oh. Sorry," Vox clamored down.
"It's all right," said Sulana assuringly. "But I'm going to try and get some sleep now, so keep it down Vox," Her lips curled softly. "Would you kindly?"
"I promise."
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