Linder was already used to all the pitiful looks he got from the people in the hospital. He couldn't blame them. For one, he moved like a zombie, regardless of whether he bumped into anyone or not. His posture drooped, his nose was red and his eyes red and puffy from crying.

            It had already been a whole week and Tadashi still hadn't woken up. The doctors said if they'd been even one minute late, then Tadashi wouldn't even be breathing.

             They'd done everything they could do, and now the rest was left up to Tadashi. There was nothing they could do but wait as the man fought for his life. It was one of the most depressing and stressful weeks for Linder.

            At this point, he was sure he was going to go numb. Except that the pain he was in, was undoubtedly real.

            Linder walked sluggishly, going to get a coffee. When his gaze shifted, he spotted a familiar figure who sat hunched on a chair.

            He only knew one person who had that length and mass of blond hair, it was Zel. He was staring straight ahead with an expression like he was deep in thought, an unopened book on his lap.

            Before Linder could turn away, Zel spotted him too because he turned to him. He quickly got off his seat and replaced himself with the book he was holding. Zel shuffled over to him.

             Linder figured they'd probably never left the mansion after he left. His best guess was that Alexander never really got around to disqualifying anyone again, because he'd seen every one of them throughout the week at the hospital.

              He remembered Riley covering Alexander up as he fell asleep in his arms, he remembered Pierre holding his hands.

              The people he avoided the most were Pierre, Jet and Mason. He needed to apologize, to everyone, and he planned to. He just freaked out a little every time he saw them.

                Like when he was making his way to Tadashi's room and saw Mason stroking Alexander's hair, whom had dozed off soundly on his lap.

           Did they somehow fall in love with each other? He was a little confused.

          "Hi," said Zel. "Alexander wanted to talk to you." They even knew his name now.

          "Where is he?" Linder asked as he noticed the redness in Zel's eyes too.

            "I wanted to get a drink and he insisted he'd do it. He does that a lot when he's sad," Zel said and frowned. A contorted look on his face furrowing his eyebrows. "Oh sorry. I don't know where he's gone off to..."

            Linder nodded and turned to go about his way.

          "Wait," said Zel.

          Linder turned back slowly, then waited for him to say what he wanted to.

             "Do you want... no...uh, can I give you a hug?" Zel asked and he was reminded of just how nice and kind Zel had always been.

            Linder really needed a hug. He'd never know how Zel guessed, but he nodded as the other man wrapped his arms around him.

             Zel was a good hugger. Linder held him too as more tears fell down his face. He thought he'd had enough of crying for a while but this particular hug created another dam in his eyes.

          He felt the smaller man's hands running across his back, trying to comfort him. "It's going to be okay," said Zel in a shaky voice.

           Linder truly appreciated it. He didn't know how long they hugged for, but he didn't mind.

           Zel finally let go and smiled at him, then used the pad of his thumbs to wipe away Linder's tears. He wanted to cry all over again.

            This time, when Linder was about to go, Alexander appeared out of nowhere and handed a drink to Zel.

           Linder didn't really hear what Alexander said to Zel before he turned to him. "Can I talk to you?" He asked.

          "Yeah, okay," replied Linder.

           "I won't be long," he said to Zel before dropping a kiss to his temple.

            Alexander led Linder to a few empty waiting chairs close to Tadashi's room.

           It felt weird, sitting down next to him like that. So casually like they had never kissed or had sex before. In it's own strange way, it was alright. It wasn't really uncomfortable.

          "How are you holding up?" Asked Alexander once they had settled down, adjacent to each other.

           "I should be asking you that," replied Linder.

             Alexander shook his head. "Don't worry about me," said the man who had dark circles under his eyes.

             "I'm sorry you know," said Linder.

             "What? What do you have to be sorry for?" Asked Alexander.

               "All the mean things I said to you that day, and now..."

            "All that is forgotten. And what happened... it wouldn't be right if you took the blame. It's not your fault."

            "Still, I'm sorry," Linder insisted.

             Alexander placed a hand inside his pockets and retrieved a square piece of paper. Linder then realized that it was actually a photograph.

               Alexander handed it to Linder. "I think you should have this," he said. "It was in Tadashi's clothes."

               When Linder turned the photograph over, he looked back at himself.

                It was a picture of him, when he was still in Alexander's house, trying to take a picture of a dragonfly and failing so miserably until Tadashi came along. The picture had captured him just before his eyes could go fully wide, with the dragonfly that Tadashi had pointed out was on his head.

              Linder's hand went to cover his mouth. "He's had this... all this time?"

             "I think so," replied Alexander.

             "He should have just told me something," said Linder. "Given me a clue."

               "Alexander sighed before leaning further against the chair. "I would be shocked if he did."

           "What do you mean?" Asked Linder.

            Alexander looked up and around, as if he was trying to find the best way to answer Linder's question.

            "Tadashi is what you would call... the black sheep of his family. Like an outcast really, so it's really hard for him to believe that there are people who actually accept him," said Alexander.

            "Tadashi?" Linder asked, a little shocked. "But he's like... perfect."

            "You should try telling him that and see his reaction," said Alexander.

            That quickly reminded Linder of his condition. He couldn't help the gloomy condition. "He still hasn't–"

           "He'll wake up, there's no doubt about it," said Alexander. "He is going to wake up."

          Linder was reassured by how firm Alexander's words were. "He...is going to wake up," he repeated to himself.

            Alexander nodded while he got up. "I'm here for you too, if there's anything you need, you can tell me."

          Linder didn't expect that. Why would he?

          He kept staring at his retreating figure, looking at the man he'd once called a predator. He couldn't have been more wrong.

         He felt a little better about apologizing to him, but the rest were still difficult to even think of how he would do it.

          He gave up after all the scenarios in his head made no sense.

•••

              Eden knew he had to be strong. Everyone around him was affected by Tadashi's condition, down to the two the two children who refused to leave Tadashi's sight.

             Alexander was stressed out the entire time, he tried to hide it, and he managed to some degree. But he wouldn't fool Eden, he just knew him too well.

             Eden was sure his boyfriends weren't fooled either, so they tried. But they too, were worried out of their minds. So he had to be strong, and be there for every single one of them.

              He had to try, even if it felt like he was slowly being crushed under a weight.

             On his walk to Tadashi's room, on a few waiting chairs just close to his destination, he spotted a sight that made his heart squeeze tighter than it already was.

            Linder had his legs drawn up and his knees folded on the seat, almost touching his chest. One arm folded across his knees supporting his forehead and therefore hiding his face from anyone.

            The other hand shot and stretched past his knees holding something tightly in them.

              Eden went ahead to sit next to him.

             Linder didn't make any indication that he was aware anyone was seated next to him. He didn't even move an inch from the position he was in.

             They sat in perfectly comfortable silence. For how long? He didn't know—but he wouldn't mind if it lasted just a bit longer.

             Eden looked down to see that the arm Linder previously had supporting his forehead, was now lying pliant by his side, his palm facing upwards.

                Eden stared at it for so long he thought there was something wrong with him. Until finally, slowly, he eased his own hand into Linder's palm, and intertwined their fingers.

                Once again, they stayed exactly as they were, for a really long time.

              Linder squeezed his hand so fiercely that Eden resisted the urge to turn their joint hands around and kiss the back of Linder's.

             He did the next best thing; he rubbed the back of the hand, trying to offer more comfort to the depressed man next to him.

           Linder finally rested his head back and sighed, looking upwards as if he didn't know exactly how to handle himself and everything that was happening.

              "What is that in your hand?" Eden decided to distract him.

              Linder extended to him what he realized was a picture of himself. He looked really cute. He had to stop himself from sighing when he noticed the dragonfly on his head.

             Linder took his hand out of their hold and Eden tensed, hating the loss immediately. He relaxed when he realized that Linder just needed the hand to clean his glasses.

             He took them off and Eden saw him without them for the first time.

            His eyes actually seemed a little bigger now that they were off. They were gorgeous, no doubt about that. Just how much cuter could he get?

            "Tadashi took that picture," said Linder as he wiped the glasses.

               Eden wouldn't deny the fact that he was a little confused.

           "He uh..." Linder continued. "He's had that picture for so long and he..." Linder trailed off to take in a shaky breath.

            It was enough for Eden to understand.

           "It hurts," said Linder as his eyes turned glassy.

             "Aw, honey, c'mere," said Eden, his heart going out to him.

             Linder leaned on his chest in an instant.

             "I wish I knew, I wish he told me exactly how he felt from the start," Linder said. "I know I'm bad at taking hints sometimes but..."

             "Don't take it too hard," Eden said fondly. "I think he just gets shy sometimes."

             "Tadashi? Shy?" Asked Linder like Eden was being untruthful to him. "How?"

            "Let me show you something," replied Eden.

             He whipped out his phone and quickly found what he was looking for. It was a video he'd taken on their very unexpected meeting with Tadashi, when he was using an alias.

              Linder took the phone in his hand and played the video. Eden's hand had wrapped around his waist to curl their fingers together, using his free hand.

               It almost felt as natural as breathing except for the fact that he didn't know exactly how Linder felt about it. He didn't seem to mind though.

            They watched together as Tadashi tried to cover the camera that was recording him. There was lots of food on the table, and Eden's giggle in the background before he pulled the camera away from Tadashi's reach and turned it to himself. He smiled and waved and it stopped right there.

            Linder chuckled and played the video again.

               Eden could feel the vibrations from Linder's back on his chest, warming several parts of his heart.

              After watching the video for about fifteen times and giving random comments every time, Linder quietened.

                  It wasn't until Eden tilted his head to check, that he noticed that he was just drowsy.

                 He took the phone from Linder but didn't dare move so that the man could remain comfortable.

               Linder made an adorable sound before curling up further into his embrace.

                 Eden didn't know that this was all he needed all along, for half of the weight that he felt pressing down on him, to disappear.

In the next three days, Tadashi would have a heart attack, and that weight, would triple.

•••

The people who've called me 'sadist' before... ngl, I'm starting to believe you.