Tadashi couldn't remember the last time he couldn't focus for more than thirty minutes. It was an ugly feeling, that coupled with the sting he still felt at Eden's rejection.

  He'd taken a shower and now he took a gulp of his water. He stood thinking, then downed the rest of the water in huge gulps. It was going to be a long night. But it wasn't something he wasn't used to.

When Tadashi had some sort of work, doing it came as natural as breathing. He never procrastinated, it didn't even cross his mind to.

And yet now he was stalling. For no particular reason. He should start but his mind suggested otherwise.

Tadashi stretched and sat down with his computer to start his work. Much to his disappointment, he didn't start right away.

It had recently become a habit but now, Linder flashed across his mind more times than necessary. Tadashi sighed and pushed his hair out of the way.

He still couldn't forget the day he'd found him struggling to use a camera. He'd looked so beautiful, trying his best. He found his feet walking in his direction instead of going to find Alexander like he'd come to do.

His happiness was false, and he should have seen that but at least back then he smiled. He didn't, now that he was his real self. That alone bugged Tadashi.

He did see a genuine part of him that day, when he'd talked about dragonflies like something he'd created. Knowing every fact there was to know about them.

He glimpsed a true part of him that was now long since hidden away.

It wasn't just Linder recently, like it was before. Thoughts of both him and Eden alternated or came all at once.

It was probably safe to say he was losing it. His mind would drift off a few times, wondering what it felt like to run his fingers through Eden's brown locks.

He wouldn't get that chance again, that much was clear.

The more he got to know who Eden was, the more he wanted to know. And now more than ever. But the man had made it clear he wanted none of that.

The stupid hope inside him just wouldn't let it go.

Twenty three minutes later and he still didn't have any work done. If there was one thing he prided himself in, it was his ability to always focus no matter what.

Thirty minutes and someone was at his door. Going to get it was better than sitting and trying to get his mind off other things.

And just like the last time it had happened, he pulled the door open to reveal Linder on the other side, and his little brother by his side.

Surprise still registered even if he thought he was past it. It could be true that Linder came right out of his thoughts.

He wore a navy blue shirt and dark blue jeans. His hair was swept by the wind when their eyes met.

Tadashi was starting to believe that the wind had a thing for Linder's hair. It played with it every time he stood still. He loved watching it.

He ached to engulf Linder in his arms but he knew he'd be met with repulsion. Or worse, Linder would flinch and he'd break a little more inside.

He had to stop blatantly staring at him like there was no other reason he came to him. "Come in," said Tadashi as he opened the door wider.

Linder only shook his head. "I can't stay long," his tone was desperate.

He probably always tried to hide it from him but Tadashi was glad he wasn't always able to when he needed him. He wanted Linder to be as honest as he could be around him.

  "Okay," said Tadashi. He stepped aside and still held the door widely open. "But come in anyway."

Linder looked at him then straight to the floor, taking his lower lip between his teeth. When he looked back up, Tadashi's hand tightened on the door.

He was now staring at him like he was trying to figure him out and he'd released his lower lip. It looked soft, a little dark from the biting. He looked away before it became obvious how much he was staring.

Tadashi watched in relief as for the first time, Linder got inside his apartment. Despite himself, he took pleasure in that little fact.

Mikhail's hand was gripping Linder's shirt as his hand rested on his little shoulders. He trudged in quietly next to his brother and kept his gaze straight ahead, and a few times, on the floor.

Tadashi crouched until he was at Mikhail's level. The little boy's eyes immediately found his face. If it had been different, his eyes might have been filled with curiosity, but sadly they weren't. "Give me a hug?" Tadashi asked.

In earnest, Tadashi didn't really expect him to, but it was worth a try. He held his breath as the little boy let go of Linder's shirt and hesitated, then wrapped his arms around Tadashi's neck.

Slowly, he put his hand flat against Mikhail's back, returning the hug.

A ball of happiness burst inside Tadashi when the little boy didn't flinch or seem uncomfortable. "How are you doing?" He asked him.

  "I'm okay," he said like it should have been obvious. When Tadashi looked into his eyes, he couldn't tell whether he was being honest or not. It was the way his eyes gave nothing away so you only had the option of trusting what he said.

"That's good," Tadashi lightly ruffled his hair and smiled before getting back up. Mikhail didn't smile back.

Linder had both his hands behind him, he'd been watching the interaction between the two.

He didn't seem to really be there as he watched. Tadashi noticed his rigid stature like he was thinking of something else entirely.

With the look on his face, it was clear he hadn't been expecting it to go like it did. He probably wasn't expecting Mikhail to hug Tadashi so easily.

Tadashi's raised his hand to rest against the side of his neck. Linder's hand immediately latched onto it as he flinched.

He'd been right after all. Touching Linder still could cause him to flinch. But this time was a little different.

Linder's shoulders sagged when his eyes located Tadashi's and his face showed nothing but relief. It might have just been him, but Linder seemed to be on edge. What was going on?

"How long?" asked Tadashi, ignoring the need to ask him what he wanted to.

Linder replied while shaking his head. "I'm not sure this time," he said worriedly. "I'm really sorry about thi-"

"Don't worry about it," said Tadashi. He really had it all wrong. How did he convince him he loved having his brother around.

"What?" Asked Linder. His hand went back to hold Mikhail's.

"I'm not asking you because it's a bother to me," said Tadashi. "I'm asking to plan accordingly, I just want to know how many days I should take off, I'll work from home."

Something Tadashi couldn't name burned in Linder's eyes. "You shouldn't be that kind to me." he said.

Tadashi's expression softened. "I can't help it." He left the rest for Linder to figure out. Not that he would. "And why not?"

What he wanted to tell Linder was that he'd fallen in love, but that would be too extreme at the moment. He had a feeling that was the easiest way to push him away. He wasn't ready to do that.

Linder cleared his throat. "I...don't deserve–" he stopped suddenly as if realizing what he was saying. "Never mind."

Tadashi frowned. "You deserve kindness," he said. "Everyone does, at least to some extent."

"Right," said Linder. He looked down to Mikhail now back to grabbing his shirt.

He bent and whispered something in Mikhail's ear and the child nodded before going to sit on the couch with his backpack.

"I don't see him," said Linder. "Was he your boyfriend?"

"What–" Tadashi stopped when he understood what Linder was talking about.

Linder thought he had a boyfriend? "His name is Eden," he replied. "No, he's not my boyfriend."

It was complicated. Did he really want them both at the same time? He wouldn't deny it though, 'boyfriend' really had a nice ring to it.

"Okay," Linder replied before stepping back.

"Mikhail mentioned him?" Tadashi asked. "He's quite fond of him."

"Mikky?" Linder didn't bother to hide his surprise. "He's not fond of him... he's met him once."

The look on his face was utter disbelief. Probably because it was hard to tell what Mikhail was feeling almost all of the time but also because if Tadashi was thinking correctly, it was something he thought was impossible for the little boy.

Tadashi shrugged. "It's really surprising to watch, but they really are sort of fond of each other."

Linder looked like he wanted to protest but he left it at that, shaking his head and frowning.

He took another step back like he was already making to go. "Two days..." he said like he was still making up his mind.

Tadashi made a mental note to make it at least three days.

"I'll call or come over to check up on him," said Linder and Tadashi nodded. "Thank you."

Tadashi shrugged and they both walked to the door. "What is your sister's name?"

Linder stopped before he could take another step. He was way too protective when it came to his siblings.

He turned and looked Tadashi in the eye. "Lily," he said calmly. He still heard the caution in his voice.

"Lily..." Tadashi repeated. Linder didn't for a second let his guard down.

"Why?" He asked.

"She's fascinating," replied Tadashi.

Linder seemed to relax a little. "She's more than fascinating," he said before walking out the door.

Tadashi watched him leave, watched him walk away. He suppressed the urges to reach out again. He was going to have to tell Linder soon, exactly how he felt, because it was getting harder to handle it.

Why him? He asked himself. No reply came back to him. He let a breath out before the door clicked shut.

When Tadashi walked back into the living room, he found Mikhail settled on the couch gripping his bag like he had a thousand things he was worrying about.

He approached slowly so he wouldn't startle him but before he got there, the boy was already turning to look at him.

He was really cute. So adorable that Tadashi was tempted to pull his cheeks and see him pout.

He knew he wouldn't pout, he'd just stare at him with no expression and he'd feel horrible about it.

"It's cold," he said.

Tadashi crouched next to him on the couch. He pointed to his bag. "Is there a sweater in there?" He asked.

The boy only shook his head. "Lin forgot," he replied.

"Okay," said Tadashi. A hoodie or sweater of his size would obviously wear the child instead of the other way round.

He could get him a blanket or something. He thought about it for a while until in the end, he stood before him and displayed both options.

"What would you prefer?" He asked.

Mikhail looked at each of them then his hand reached out to the grey and white sweater.

Tadashi placed the blanket on the arm of the couch then put Mikhail's bag aside.

"Over here," he said to Mikhail while holding the sweater over his head.

Once it was around his neck, Tadashi put his adorable little arms in his sweater.

It was so big he had to roll the sleeves over and over until his hands poked out.

"You're so adorable," Tadashi chuckled.

Mikhail's eyes might have widened just a fraction but he didn't smile. Nor did he answer.

He was still so adorable.

"Are you hungry?" He asked once he was done.

Mikhail shook his head. "Lin made me food."

It just went to shed more light on one of Tadashi's thoughts; their lives only rotated around Linder. It seemed like he did every single thing for them.

"Alright but if you need anything at all, you tell me okay?" He said.

Mikhail nodded. He opened his mouth like he wanted to say something then thought better of it. It was like a golden chance.

Tadashi decided to encourage him, this could be progress after all, so he wouldn't let the opportunity go.

"Go on, you can say it," he said.

Mikhail first pursed his lips, then let them go. After a while, he spoke. "Can I watch some cartoons?" He asked.

It made Tadashi a little softer inside to hear it. "Of course," he said.

He carried him to the other living room with a TV in it. Mikhail didn't laugh but he let out a little surprised sound. Then settled in Tadashi's hold.

"What do you want to watch?" Tadashi asked and Mikhail shrugged.

He flicked through several channels. He stopped at one, it was a show called Uncle Grandpa. He moved on quickly. "I know about this one, it sucks." 

"Try this one," he said. It was Spongebob Squarepants.

Mikhail kept on looking at the screen so he left him to it. "I'll be in the next room if you need me."

Tadashi had to call Alexander to tell him he had to be working from home for the next few days, and if it was complicated, they'd work something out.

After that, he was finally able to focus on his work. He heard the sounds of the TV working from where Mikhail was. It wasn't distracting...if anything, he loved it.

With every passing day, he grew to love the child whether he was with him or not.

He was a little shy and didn't speak much, but he was the cutest thing and Tadashi knew it might take a lot of time and effort, but it was possible to bring him back to his real self.

He'd worked for maybe an hour or two, and then he heard the short footsteps before he saw Mikhail.

While standing up, the sweater swallowed up his hands a little more and it reached past his knees. He was seriously too cute.

"I should change now," he said and looked up at Tadashi. Something flickered in his eyes and he couldn't tell what it was.

He held his bag in both his hands and Tadashi remembered what happened the last time.

"When you change," he said while pulling the sweater up over Mikhail. He let go of his bag and put his hands up. "I'll put this back on you okay?"

He nodded.

"You still remember the room right?" Tadashi asked and he nodded again. Then took his bag and went to exactly where it was.

Tadashi waited while he changed. There was something wrong with him, something he couldn't put a finger on.

Even with how difficult he was to read, Tadashi could still tell he was sad inside. Weirdly, that wasn't it either.

He was thinking so hard he only came back to reality to find the big eyes staring up at him widely.

He picked the sweater up and put it back over his pajamas. "One more hour and then bed, okay?" Tadashi said.

"Okay," the little boy said, then started to walk away before turning back. He stared for a while. "Tadishi?"

Tadashi looked up to see him standing by the door. "What is it?" He asked.

The little boy looked down. "Later, can I sleep with Eden?"