ZAKRIYA ISLAM

She's slept so peacefully and I'm so relieved. Her relaxed and peaceful face is enough to make me smile. Carefully, I extended my hand and caressed her cheek.

It's been a week after she confessed herself to me and I cant help but be in awe of her. She's been through so much and she's been all alone in it too. However, I have promised myself and her that I will never let her suffer alone. Actually, I will never allow even a single tear to slip through her eyes again. If any tears will be shed, they will be happy tears. I will never let her feel alone or sad ever again. I'll love her so much that she'll start to move on again in life. I sense that she's still being haunted by the demons of her past. Of course, who wouldn't be. But inshaa Allah, I know that things will work out from now on.

She terminated the contract of her demands, earning my full appreciation. I was glad that she learned to trust the fact that I wouldn't be leaving her. Her insecurities were starting to wear off slowly but there was still a long way to go. I had fully understood why she had placed those demands in the first place and I respected them but they restricted me in making more out f my relationship with my wife so I couldn't have been more happy when she tore the contract in front of me and called in her lawyer, clearing everything up. And that was when I made a promise to myself—I would never betray or hurt this woman who has now put so much trust in me. We've promised each other that there will be no more secrets between us. Of course, I don't expect her complete honesty, but in time, she'll come around.

I resumed work on a full time basis. Mr. Shehzad was kind enough to offer me a stable position to work in. Amber was stable enough as well however, I still didn't trust her enough to leave the house without me or otherwise telling me about her whereabouts beforehand, and surprisingly, she agreed with me wholeheartedly. She still didn't join work yet because she was still unsure of herself. She has lost confidence in herself so much that even she doesn't trust herself anymore. It hurts to know that however, I'll help her through this slump.

There was still an hour left in Fajr so I tried to sleep again but failed miserably. Sitting up, I ran my hand through my hair and decided to go to the masjid. After a short refreshing shower, I changed into the Shalwar Kurta that Amber had gifted me; strangely, I felt more comfortable in these type of clothes.

After arriving at the Masjid, I stayed there till the prayers were offered. I had decided to walk to here. While I was heading back to the apartment complex, the fresh warm air around me helped me to clear my mind a little bit. I sort of missed New York these days. Especially Gran.

When I got back, Amber was still sleeping so I fixed myself some breakfast. After getting dressed and ready for work, I leaned in and planted a slow kiss on Amber's forehead.

The day was long but passed by in a blur. My proposal for the new provisional contracts was approved by the board so that was something to celebrate about. I would call Amber after every hour to check up on her. She usually wakes up around 10 am. However, when she didn't attend my 10:30 call, I got a bit antsy. She didn't attend any of my calls and I began to get worried. Thankfully, I was free from work by Zohr time so I quickly made my way home. I got stuck in the traffic for almost an hour, adding further into my worries. I sighed with relief when I got free from the traffic and sped fast towards home.

My nerves were shot, my mind coming up with the most worse of scenarios. Maybe I was too quick to trust her so easily. I shouldn't have been so soft with her. I should've known that she was an addict and addicts don't relent so easily.

Oh God, what the hell was I thinking? I shouldn't be down grading her when se herself doesn't believe in herself. At least I should trust her that she hasn't done anything reckless. No, I'm sure she's okay. She must be busy or probably having a shower. But for four hours straight?

I tried to clear my head as I parked the car in the lot and sprint for the elevator. When I got to the door, it was locked. Sliding in my keys, I frowned when I noticed that it was double locked. So that means she's still in the apartment. I got in, the familiar smell of food greeting me except that the kitchen was empty.

"Amber?" I called loudly. There wasn't any reply. I made my way to the bedroom, finding it empty too. "Amber?" I called again. That's when I noticed that the light of the bathroom was open and the door was slightly ajar.

"Amber?" I lightly knocked and entered, further relief washing over me as I saw her safely at our home. She was sitting on the toilet seat, her head slumped between her shoulders, a sleek white strip gripped within her hands.

"Amber? I was calling you?" I said gently and went to her. She didn't raise her head. Squatting down to her level, I gently pulled her chin up and was startled when I saw her cheeks stained with tears, her eyes looking dolefully at me; her brown depths filled with so much uncertainty.

"Hey, what wrong?" I asked in a mumbled. Her lips began to quiver and her eyes fell on the object she was holding. I took the strip from her, recognizing it as a home pregnancy test. It tested positive. A slow smile crept up my lips.

"Oh, my God," I said, sheer joy lacing my tone. But when I looked at Amber, she was looking at me with so much fear in her eyes—fear and doubt.

"Hey, what's wrong? Why are you looking at me like that?" I asked. More tears began to fall from her eyes and she cradled her face in her hands. "Hey, come on," I gently took her arms and led her to the bedroom. Sitting her down on the bed, I sat with her and took her hands in mine; they were trembling and cold.

"What's wrong Bree? This is good news? Why are you looking so scared?" I asked, pulling loose strands on her open hair behind her ear. She refused to meet my gaze and stared in space, her hands gripping mine tightly. "Amber?" I murmured, gently spinning her jaw in my direction.

We didn't speak as we stared into each other's eyes. That's when I realized what she fear—it was evident as the day light streaming from the window and lightening the room. She feared another abortion—especially since she suffered from it almost three months ago, it's no surprise that this pregnancy is a shock to her. There was so much vulnerability clouding her brown orbs and I wanted nothing more then to take it away from her. She deserves happiness and if Allah has blessed us again, I'll make sure that she gets it.

"It'll be Okay," I stated and caressed her cheek. She closed her eyes and leaned into my touch. "I'm so happy about this Amber. This is great, no, this is awesome news. Thank God, we're blessed again. Don't treat it like it's something to be afraid of." I tried to sate her doubt.

"I'm so scared Zac," she finally spoke, in barely an audible whisper. But I had heard it.

"Don't be,"

"But I am," she voice broke. "I'm so scared that I'll lose this baby too." She sobbed, my tears welling up and falling. It ached my heart to see her this way. When her eyes opened, he stared at me with so much ambiguity.

I smiled tenderly at her. "You won't," I assured her. "We won't. Allah ahs given a second chance at our happiness. Inshaa Allah, everything will work out. I think this is your reward for all the hardships that you have endured till now. Embrace this with open arms Amber." I encouraged, my demenour confident, she just stared at me with an unreadable expression until something flashed in her eyes and she nodded.

I grinned joyfully and leaned in to kiss her softly.

***********

I'm glad that things have finally worked out between us. When we went to the Hospital for a check up, we found out that Amber was five weeks pregnant. The baby was healthy and the heartbeat was strong. To say that it was the most happiest moment of my life would be an understatement—I was so high on bliss that I couldn't help but thank Allah for his favor upon us.

Slowly but surely, the smile that I so rarely go to see began to surface. Amber began to blossom with joy, exuding glee all around. She had decided to take an extended leave from work until the baby was safely delivered. She didn't want to take an risk this time and I encouraged her as well. I was just glad that things were moving forward.

However, there was still a nagging thought at the back of my mind. Sometimes, I would look at Amber and watch her staring into pace, her eyes distant as if she was deep in thought. Sometimes at night, I would find her missing from bed and would find her curled into a ball on the couch outside in the balcony. She mostly kept to herself and I respected her privacy however, I couldn't help but worry for her. She still wouldn't open up to me but I kind of figured out what she wanted.

She was missing her family. I sensed it one day when we were taking a stroll in the nearby park and I saw her gazing thoughtfully at a family of four people.

I know that she's proud but I wanted her to reconcile with her family. She needed to put the past behind her. This baby was our chance at a different and happy future. And I didn't want to jeopardize it.

***********

"Amber?" I called her from the doorway. She was busy tying the laces of her shoes, preparing for out routine evening walk. She glanced up in a my direction, her eyebrows jumping up.

"Yes?" she said in a low tone and finished tying her laces. She was almost two months along and her stomach wasn't showing yet. I sighed and went to her. Sitting down beside her, I took her hands in mine and stared into her eyes with utter seriousness.

"There's something that I've been meaning to talk to you about." I started.

"Okay, what is it?" she inquired, her eyes looking at me with anticipation. I nodded. "I want you to listen very carefully and consider what I have to tell you very carefully okay. Promise me that you wont jumo to conclusions or refuse me this request." I asked.

Her brows furrowed slightly in confusion. "I can't promise without knowing what it is that you want from me." She said, a flash f emotions swimming in her eyes. No doubt her mind was going towards the wrong direction.

"Don't worry; I just want this from you. It's not just for me but mostly, it's for you."I stated, trying to ease her worry. I saw her swallow and give me a little nod.

I smiled. "I want you to reconcile with your family Bree." I said.

At that moment, so many emotions plashed in her brown orbs as she rested them with mine. Though her facial expression was calm and collected, her eyes gave her away. What I mostly saw in them was hurt and improbability. Until anger replaced them and she jumped to her feet in a flash.

"What?!" she seethed.

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