M SCENES IN THE END

ZAKRIYA ISLAM

I was so happy to hear her deliver this good news. I had prayed so hard for her wish to come true and Allah did not disappoint. Now I know that this will strengthen our bond and our relationship will head towards a more promising future.

Bree's attitude became so jolly and active ever since she found out that she was five weeks pregnant. It's been a week since she confirmed it with a pregnancy test. I was so happy as well that I couldn't stop myself from smiling that my cheeks would ache.

I know how desperately she wanted to get pregnant and now when she finally has, I've witnessed her tried self. When I look I to her eyes, there is the any barrier or any wall there anymore-- slowly her mask is slipping off and she doesn't even realize it in her moment of happiness. So I'm sure that after the baby is born safely inshaa Allah, I know that I'll slowly see the real Amber Zaid surface and that's whom I want to know.

************

My alarm sounded for Fajr. I sighed and turned it off. Turning to my side, I saw Amber sleeping comfortably. I said to her side and caressed her cheek. "Amber?" I whispered. Her brows furrowed slightly and her eyes moved until they opened. I kept caressing her cheek and smiled at her as those chocolate brown orbs stared at me.

"Will you pray with me today?" I murmured. She yawned and sat up. "Okay,"

I was surprised but glad. Previously she had rebuked my invitation but now she accepted it. Maybe she's feeling peaceful now that Allah has granted her the one thing she wanted most.

We both offered our Fajr prayers together. When I woke up again at 8 am, I found Bree all dressed up for work. We had a quite breakfast in which Amber made small talk quite animately. And I couldn't help but notice that smile on her face that made her look so much beautiful. I pray that from now onwards I always see her happy face and dazzling smile.
***********

AMBER ZAID

"Dr. Naseer, needed immediately at the OR!"

Today has been one hell of a day. A bus accident happened nearby and the casualties as well as victims were called in. I've been in the ER for the past sixteen hours. After conducting multiple surgeries today, I'm finally spent. My legs were completely swollen from standing for too long and my back was killing me. I needed to be careful since it was the early trimester but it couldn't be helped especially with the field that I'm in.

"Dr. Amber please prep for OR 3!" I heard the announcement. My sighed and jumped to my feet. My hip joints felt a certain pain in doing so but I had to get up. I went towards the OR and prepped for surgery. It was a patient with massive internal bleeding.

I got to work immediately and repaired the bleed that originated from a rupture in the lateral part of the spleen as well as the scenic artery. Everything was going g fine until the alarming sound of a red code shook my senses.

"Doctor, his BP is dropping! He's going into shock."

"There's got to be another major bleed!" I announced, my hands quickly going over his abdomen. "I need to find it and repair it!"

My heart was racing and a burst of adrenaline rush had my weariness out the window. My hands were beginning to shake with was successful I'm finding the bleed at the posterior side of the sigmoid colon. I need to same this life! I need to save this man.

"Doctor, you're bleeding. There's blood coming put of your thighs." my assistant whispered in my ear. My brain instantly knew what had come to pass but I pushed every other thought aside: right now, I needed to save this man's life.

With swift and skillful hands, I stitched up the bleed. The heart monitor detected low BP and oxygen saturation at 90 now. He was stabilizing. After closing him up, I breathed a sigh of relief. My knotted back relaxing but my legs began to shake. My head began to feel light and black spots appeared in my vision and before I could respond, I felt myself falling.

**********

ZAKRIYA ISLAM

it sure is late. I wonder if she'll be back tonight or will she serve as house officer tonight?

I was a bit worried especially considering the delicate condition she was in. I was done with dinner and was about to wash the dishes when my phone ring.

It was Haleema. With a racing heart, I swiped the answer button. I know that she only contacts me in regards to my wife and that's what scares me.

"Asalam alaikum,"

"Walaikum asalam bhai, are you free?"

"Yes," I replied quickly.

"You need to come to the hospital immediately. It's Amber. Apparently it's not good news." she announced. I quickly ended the call and ran to the bedroom. Grabbing my keys and donning my shoes, I ran.

I got to the hospital in less then ten minutes. My mind was conjuring up so many outcomes and yet I didn't want to think about it but I knew what must've happened but I was praying and hoping so much that it wouldn't be true.

When I got to the hospital, it was crowded. The ER and entrance were crowded by people and patients lying on gurneys and stretchers. Many injured people were sitting and lying around and many doctors and nurses were attending to them but it appeared that the injured people outnumbered the hospital staff. A nurse told me that there was a bus accident that caused this many casualties.

I found Haleema who was almost done bandaging a lady's head. "this way bhai," she said as soon as she saw me. "She had been working nonstop and she should've known that it was too early and she should've taken it easy but she completely disregarded that and ended up with a miscarriage." she explained. I squeezed my eyes shut and stopped dead in my tracks. Clenching my fists tightly, I tried to calm myself because an overwhelming feeling was threatening to take me in but I needed to be composed. I needed to be strong for Amber.

"It was a natural miscarriage so we didn't have to do anything major other then to manually remove the fetus. After a days rest, she'll be fine, inshaa Allah, " she explained, looking at me sympathetically.

"I'm really sorry bhai, inshaa Allah will bless you again real soon." she tried to console me. I nodded and passed my hand through my hair. She's right, Allah will bless me again. No, we will be blessed again inshaa Allah.

We walked to the third floor amidst the sea of people all lying around seeking medical attention.

"we couldn't find any empty ward or bed for her so we treated her in the Doctors' lounge," she said and lead me to the room. I saw Amber sitting on a sofa, her leads spread and covered. She was lost in her thoughts as her eyes stared into space. Haleema left to give us some privacy. I took a chair and sat beside her. She was so lost in her mind that she didn't realize when I took her hand that was gripping the blanket so tightly.

"Amber?" I began softly. She didn't respond. I signed and got up and sat with her on the sofa. I placed my arm around her shoulders and pulled her to my chest. That's when she got out of her trance and looked at me: at that instant, her eyes displayed a thousand emotions before they became cold.

"It's okay, I'm here." I whispered and planted a kiss on her forehead. She didn't speak and it hurt me so much. I know how much she wanted this baby and so did but what can be done about it now? I hugged her closely. "It's okay Bree. I know that you must be hurting right now but it's okay. It was Allah's will and we can't fight that." I mumbled and tried to pacify her as best as u could because her silence was driving me crazy. I was damn sure that she would crying and weeping or snap or blame me or get angry but here she was, silent and unresponsive.

I know that she's devastated but if she doesn't express it and keep it all inside then it'll be even worse. "Amber, baby?" I called her, my voice strained a bit. She released herself from my arms and put some distance between us.

"what's happened has happened," she started, her voice cold as ice. She wasn't looking at me because I know that if she did, then I would see the vulnerability in them and she didn't want me to see it. I know that she's struggling to put on a brave front and seen unaffected but I know her better. I know that she's in her own struggle and I want to do badly tell her that she's not alone in this but she'll only shut me out again.

I can't believe that things have to this again. Everything was going great and now this!

"All that I could think about at that time was that I needed to save that man's life. And if it came at a cost, then I'm not complaining." she mumbled and pushed me aside and jumped to her feet. I saw her eyes were still lost in a trance. "If it means that I lost her again, then so be it!" she mumbled to herself but I heard her loud and clear.

'lost her again... '? What does she mean by this? Did she lose a loved one before? I don't know and I shouldn't jump to conclusions. Right now, she needs me utmost attention.

"Bree you need rest." I said and stood up. She muted me out and adjusted her shirt. And before I could say anymore, Haleema knocked on the door and came in, informing her that She's been asked to go on leave for the next two days. Much to her dismay and my relief, this was something that was needed.

We stayed in the hospital for the whole day since Haleema was successful in sedating amber for a few hours so that she would rest since Amber wanted to get back into work.

The ride back home was deadly silent. Amber was still unresponsive and quiet. Her indifference was maddening.

As soon as we entered our home, she retreated to her study. I get it, she needs some space right now.

**********

AMBER ZAID

after locking the door of my study, my legs lost their strength and I slipped to the floor. Wrapping my arms around my legs, I tried to control my tears but it was too overwhelming. I needed to get it out of my system.

I needed to cry. I owe myself this much. And so I did. I let the tears gush and let my sorrow and grief engulf me. The overwhelming feelings consumed me. Being careful not to let any sounds leave my throat, I pursed my lips tightly and tried to calm myself.

So, I've lost my baby. And I have no one but myself to blame. I've lost it: I've lost her. Again!

I thought that my chance at happiness had finally arrived again after years spent in misery and loneliness but I was wrong. I shouldn't known that it was too good to be true.

Am I still being punished? Has my past still not left me? The ghosts of my past still continue to haunt me. But why? Is it still because of what I did five years ago?

Why Allah? Don't o deserve to be happy? Don't I deserve peace of mind? Not one day has passed when I don't think about what had transpired all those years ago and I tried my best to get over it but You always remind me of it.

Why Allah? Why aren't You allowing me to love her again? You took her from me and when I finally was going to get her back, You took her from me again?

I wiped my tears away and tried to get to my feet, staggering in the process. I made it to my desk and sank into my leather chair. Sniffling and wiping my nose off with my sleeve. I opened my drawer and took out her picture.

Tooba.

Dimples on both sides of her innocent smile, her dark curly hair and huge beady brown eyes. My baby Tooba.

I thought I finally got my chance to have you again in my arms but I was wrong.

That's it!

Allah! If you're not going to give me what I want then I'm not going to be good anymore. I was still staying in my limits but no more.

I've had enough of this pain. I'm done!
***********

ZAKRIYA ISLAM

I was so worried for her because she's been in that room for the past one hour.

I passed my hand through my hair in frustration. What's going to happen now? I was so worried of her snapping at any time now because she's a bomb just minutes away from exploding. I sighed and jumped to my feet. I went towards the study door and knocked.

"Bree?" I called gently and turned the knob. The door was locked. Figures.

There wasnt any answer for several minutes. I sighed and gave up. As soon as I was a few inches away from the door, the click of the lock being opened stopped me. I turned to see her and to my amazement, I saw her head tilted with a huge grin on her face.

"Amber?" I went to her and cupped her face. Her eyes were swollen and trails of dried tears were still visible. Her nose was pink. "Have you been crying?" I mumbled. The look on her face was weird. Why was she grinning? This was completely out of character for her.

Her brown orbs depicted numerous emotions at the same time: pain, sorrow, grief, anguish and she didn't hide it in the least. My heart ached for her. Every fiber of her being was shouting at me to save her from this pain but her physical appeal was the complete opposite that baffled me. She approached me and giggled."Ahan," she mused and wrapped her arms around my neck. My hands instinctively went up to her waist. Her eyes were hooded, cheeks flushed and pupils completely dilated. If I knew any better, I would say she's high.

"Are you high?" I asked under my breath as her lips came close to mine and stayed there.

"Ahan," her breath smelled normal. I touched her neck. Her pulse was rapid.

"Amber. . .," she silenced me when her lips crashed on mine and her hands began to open my shirt buttons.

"Amber," I stressed, getting her off of me and catch her wrists. She looked at me dejectedly. "What?" she whined, her face contorting in displeasure. "Why?" she drawled. "Please, I need you,"

"You've just been through a procedure I'm not going to,"

"Zac, please," she cried and wrapped her arms around my waist. "I'm in pain," she admitted. Okay no it's official—she's really is high on something. The Amber I know would never admit this much of an emotional sentiment. "There are ways to manage pain," I murmured and tried to appease her. "I'll help you."

"You can help me now. I need you. I want you." She muttered. "No, Amber,"I conciliated and tried to hug her but her slapped my arms away.

"I don't care!" she shouted, now irritated and pissed at me. Her hands pushed me back and I stumbled and fell on my back on the carpeted floor. The hit at the back of my head caused me to hiss in pain and when I opened my eyes, I saw her approach me, taking her pants and underwear off and began to pull off my pants. "Amber!" I warned in a strict voice but she wasn't listening. There it is again, this boldness but this time it looks like desperation. What's wrong with her? Did she dose herself on something?

"I said No Amber!" I tried to get her off of me but she straddled my hips quickly, her hands gripping my manhood in a tight grasp and began to stroke it. I submitted to her ministrations. I hissed as the waves of arousal began to build up. I groaned and automatically caught her waist. My shaft was rock hard and throbbed now. Involuntarily, my hips buckled upwards in her hold as she rubbed my mercilessly. And without warning, she climbed on and sheathed me to the hilt. A groan left my throat as she began to ride on me, deep, fast and rough.

"Amber, shit," I grunted as she pushed herself on me and rode me expeditiously.

"Ah, Zac!" she moaned, her nails running and scratching my chest as her pumping fueled my ecstasy and made my climax building up as my nails dug into her waist to hold her tightly in place.

Damn it, I couldn't take the torture anymore. I grabbed her roughly and pulled her to the nearby sofa. With her under me, I pumped into her with speed. Her cries and moans filled the air as I emptied into her. Her high was also reached and hugged me tightly as she came.

Grunting, I feel on her, somewhat spent. But she flipped me and caught my wrists above my head, her face still featuring that needy want.

"Let's go to the bed," she whispered to me. Because my primal instincts had taken over, I obeyed and followed her to the bedroom.

She pushed me on the bed and came up to me again. This time she rode me for painfully as her hands kept gripping my scrotum. It was so pleasurable but I was worried at that her going this extreme wasnt good for her body.

But her continuous pumps exhibited a strange feeling: as if she was taking out her despair and frustration through intercourse.

I wasn't sure but this much I was sure of, this woman right now who's with me and literally fucking me isn't my wife.

My wife is a gentle and coy woman. Sure she's a piece of work but I know that whenever we have made love she's always been careful and wanted both of us to feel that pleasure.

But not this woman: she was only with me physically, torturing her own body.

The sounds of skin slapping against skin continued as our bodies worked up our high. her shirt was completely drenched and she wouldn't stop. 

When I exploded in her, we became static, only the sounds of our heavy breathing slicing the silent cold air around us. I swallowed, and relaxed into the bed. When I opened my eyes, I saw her panting and staring into space. I closed my eyes again and tried to catch my breath as I waited for her to take her leave and get off of me. However, I felt something warm fall on my chest.

I opened my eyes and saw tears falling from her cheeks and down on my sweaty chest. My brows furrowed in confusion. Her eyes were still resting on the ebd headboard, refusing to meet mine. As if she was zoning out again. "Amber?" I uttered and touched her cheek. She didn't react. Something fell from her nose and I froze. It was blood.

I was instantly shocked and sat upright. Her nose was bleeding, drops falling freely. Her eyes rolled back into her head and she collapsed into my arms.

What just happened?

SO WHAT DO U GUYS THINK JUST HAPPENED?? VOTE AND COMMENT