AMBER ZAID

I pressed a button to roll down the glass screen as we exited the Islamabad premises and headed towards Murree. It was February now and most probably it will be snowing there.

I had invited Zac to come with me to Murree to attend an annual conference held by one of my sponsoring drug companies. When I told him to join me, telling him to think of it as a holiday or a mini honeymoon, the look on his face was priceless: he was all giddy like a small boy receiving his present on Christmas morning.

I glanced at my husband from the corner of my eye who was gazing outside his window, an excited look lighting his eyes. I smiled privately. It's been a month since Gran died. And I've done all that I can to distract him from thinking too much. I noticed that whenever he was alone or free, a forlorn look would overcome him and that same grief would over shadow his features. And for some reason, it pained me to see him like that. I wanted to see his jolly side.

It was then that I learned how much I had taken him for granted. But I just can't help it at times, my anger would shadow my logic and I would forget about others and hurt them in the process. Of course, I'm not about to admit this to him. As we ascended the hills of the lower Himalayas, I saw Zac grow so excited and take continuous snaps with his phone. I smiled at his happiness-for some reason, his happiness made me feel comfortable—no, comfortable isn't the right feeling. When I look at him, I feel right; like he's all mine and I can feel safe and secure with him. But why do I feel that way?

It's been so long since I've felt any vestige of happiness—I've even forgotten what it feels like to be happy. All I know is the feeling of contentment, but not happiness. I suppose being content will have to do for me.

Our stay was in the famous Pearl Continental Hotel in Bhurban, Murree. When we arrived there, Zac kept nagging me about wanting to see the whole place. I of course, was more concerned with getting freshened up and eating something before I would have to take him out for a tour. The Company had only taken care of my expanses so I made sure that Zac's expanses were paid from my side. After all, we deserve a holiday together and what better place to have a holiday or rather a mini- honeymoon then Murree. I hadn't planned on it but maybe Allah had seen how hard we had both worked together to make it this far and helped me arrange this trip.

I wanted nothing more than to have Zac see the beauty and splendor of my country. It's been years since the last time I came to Murree. Things certainly have changed. If not for this conference, I don't think I would've ever planned to come here again.

However, there was a fleeting fear at the back of my head which I was dreading and I was praying continuous ever since I agreed to come to this conference that it wouldn't come to pass.

After we were escorted to our rooms, I quickly made it to the window and pulled apart the curtains. The beautiful view of the snow clad hills and misty atmosphere was indeed breathtaking.

"Come on Zac, quickly get freshened up. Then I'll give you a tour." I offered. He beamed and quickly went to the bathroom with his necessities. I also changed into warmer cloths and waited for him to be done from the bathroom.

We left for Mall road, the famous walking and shopping street of Murree. It wasn't surprising when I saw how much developed it had gotten and all under the Army's capable hands. It was so cold and the muddy snow on the raod side made it difficult for us to walk properly. Zac caught my waist when I almost slipped and after that, he didn't let me go and grabbed onto my arm securely. It was embarrassing as many people stared at us and I tried to release myself but Zac wouldn't budge and kept on to me. I sighed n defeat and we started walking again. After lunch, we decided to visit the many stalls and shops that are famous for their handicraft. As we walked the long street, we met many foreigners there. Zac was surprised but pleased nonetheless. He bought so many souvenirs that I had to grab his wallet from spending money so carelessly.

"Hey, Bree, come here," I heard him call me. I was busy examining the various shawls at a stall. I turned around and found him glancing at the window of a gold jewelry store. I placed the shawls back and came to his side. "Let's go inside," he grabbed my hand and dragged me inside. "Zac, come on, let's go." I tried to stop him but it was already too late. The shop was little and it was empty except for the two craftsmen sitting at the counter. They stood up in greeting when they saw us come in.

"I would like to see you best rings, please." Zac said in English. The poor men clearly couldn't understand him. "Zac, they maybe can't speak in English. So let's just go." I insisted but he squeezed my hand and shook his head. "Then tell them what I just said. My urdu is very poor so won't speak it unless I'm confident that I can speak it correctly." He stipulated. I sighed and asked the men to show him their best rings. They quickly obliged and brought out many ring cases. I wasn't interested so I began to view my presentation notes in my phone. After about ten minutes of ignoring what Zac was doing, he got up to leave. I was grateful and feeling tired now.

When we got back to the hotel, I fell asleep as soon as I got to the room.

***********

ZAKRIYA ISLAM

This was all so exciting—I didn't like travelling much but knowing that Bree was going to be with me, it made this trip so exciting. Murree was indeed a beautiful hilly resort. I liked it the moment we arrived. And I was even more happy when I noticed that Bree was also in a gracious mood and I felt her doing her best to accommodate me. She didn't argue once when I bought so many things for her. Even when I bought a ring for her, she didn't argue with me or she was just so engrossed in her conference presentation that she didn't bother to notice the ring I had selected for her.

I was glad that we came here, I needed something to take my mind off things. It's only been a month since Gran died and the other day, Jake had called me to let me know that he sold off my apartment for a good price. Gran's will was also announced—apparently I had inherited $60,000 from her. I was baffled at first. What was I suppose to do with that much money? I just didn't have any idea. I had thought about discussing it with Bree when this plan came up and we left.

Bree slept so soundly that afternoon that I also decided to take a nap after Asr prayer. I woke up when I felt movements around me. When I woke up, i checked the time. There was still time for maghrib. I sat upright and found Bree sitting by the dresser, setting her hair.

"Oh good, you're up. Quickly get ready, we need to leave for dinner." She told. I yawned and rubbed my face. I felt refreshed after that nap. When I went to the bathroom, I found one of my grey suits already pressed. I smiled—she's so thoughtful. She's always made sure that my needs are fulfilled even without me noticing that has never left any room for complaint.

After ablution, I went back to the bedroom with the prayer mat and set it in the direction of the qibla. After I was done, I quickly went back to change.

When I got ready and got out, I found my wife sitting by the window. I smiled when I saw her; dressed in an elegant jet black velvet suit, her hair tied up in a messy bun and face adorned with a little makeup made her look spectacular. She came towards me and helped me with my tie. Her scent was intoxicating me and I felt a sudden urge to devour her in a bear hug. But I knew better—this dinner was important because it's arranged by the conference.

"Okay, let's go." I said, jumping to my feet after donning my shoes. Once we were in the elevator, I offered my arm to Bree. She took it without question.

As we approached the dinning hall, there were many guests there—it was a very decent and nice gathering with couples and families all around. We headed towards the hall that was booked for the 'All Annual Cardiology Conference, Pakistan'. When we sat at our table, the host came after a little while and welcomed us. The food was served almost instantaneously. We ate in silence. I was really taken in by the warm atmosphere in the hall. Amber on the other hand, looked very delighted. We had a light atmosphere around us we made small talk.

"What?" Bree asked. I blinked, having realized that I was continuously staring at her. I shook my hand and smiled. "Nothing," I flashed her my most charming smile. Fishing out the small ring box from my pocket, I took out the ring. I grasped her hand that was resting on the table and took her off guard. "I bought this for you. I hope that you like it." I said and slid it on her ring finger. It was a bit tight but I managed to get it all the way to the bottom. "Now please don't reject this small gift okay." I muttered and squeezed her fingers. She only stared at me; emotions flashing n her eyes that I couldn't figure out.

"I'm glad that we came here. We needed a honeymoon anyways." She commented. I chuckled. "I never thought I'd hear you say that." I countered and brought her knuckles to my lips, planting a sof kiss—she blushed and quickly snatched her hand away. "For God's sake, we are in public!" she hissed lowly. I chuckled even further.

"Asalam alaikum,"

I turned to see who greeted us. It was a man standing with a very lovely lady. He looked like he was in his late sixties; frown lines apparent on his forehead as the grey beard on his face revealed as such—however, I was surprised to see that he had a well build and sturdy body. As for the lady, she was dressed elegantly in white, her head neatly covered by her duppatta and a beautiful brown shawl draped on her shoulders. They were both looking at me expectantly. I glanced at Amber only to be taken aback when I saw her frozen in place-her eyes looking at me with an empty gaze. And that's when I noticed something—they both bore tremendous resemblance to Amber. The man bore the same stoic brown eyes while the woman possessed the same full lips as Amber. These must be her parents.

"Walaikum Asalam, sir," I quickly got up and shook hands with him. He gave me a firm shake and looked at me with an unreadable expression. Then his eyes trailed on Amber who still hadn't come out of her stupor. We stood silent for a few poignant seconds.

"Would you like a seat?" I asked to get rid of the awkwardness between us. Before they would answer, Amber had gotten to her feet.

"Asalam alaikum, Brigadier Zaid" she said in a tone as cold as ice—I frowned at her sudden changed in attitude. Her whole being exuded distant aloofness and unfeeling coldness. Her eyes were staring at the old couple with blank uniformity.

Wait Brigadier Zaid? That means these people really are her parents.

**********
AMBER ZAID

"Asalam alaikum,"

That booming authoritative voice; It was his voice. it stilled me. Chills ran down my spine as all the tarnished memories that I had locked away for so long came rushing out to my mind. My back stiffened and I didn't dare look at him but I knew that his heavy gaze was set on me. I felt a sudden sharp feeling go through my heart and the sudden urge to cry and vent overwhelmed me.

Fuck, what the hell are they doing here? I had made sure that they wouldn't be attending this conference when I had viewed the list of attending physicians online and when I was sure that his name wasn't there that's when I had applied for his conference. But I miscalculated. I should've known that they would be here as well, after all we are both cardiologists and this wasn't a small conference—I was a fool to have thought that he wouldn't be attending. I knew that this would happen and this was what I was dreading. And it indeed came to pass.

I have been avoiding them for the past five years and when we had to meet; it had to be like this. Why Allah? Why did You made me confront them after so long like this? Everything that had transpired between us five years ago flashed before my eyes. My heart was beating so fast now and a sudden adrenaline rush pumped in my veins; I felt like running away from this place. Coming to this conference was a mistake. We need to leave immediately as soon as this conference is over. All the plans that I had made needed to be cancelled now.

Zac had gotten up to greet them and now they were waiting for me. I clenched my hands into hard fists and tried to get myself into control; after all, that's the best that I can do. Control myself and my circumstance. I mustve get emotional. I must keep myself in check—just pretend like strangers. After all, what they had done to me, how could I forget? I got up and greeted them.

Without any emotions, I stared at the faces of the people haven't seen in these last five years—I can see that these years did them some good. They looked good yet weary. They were the same faces that I had left five years ago. My parents had indeed grown a little old over these past years. But I'm not going to address them as my parents; they lost that right five years ago.

I know that by now, Zac mustve noticed the impeccable similiraities between us; damn it, I had tried so hard that I wouldn't get him to meet them ever; that's why I had set those demands yet I was a fool—I shouldn't known that this would come to pass sooner or later. It's a good thing that those demands are binding and if Zac dared to break them, they he knows the outcome.

Schooling a cool and composed expression, I stared directly at the powerful man standing in front of me. But I wasn't about to reveal anything.

"Kesay hain aap dono?" (How are you two?) I started in urdu. Brigadier Zaid had raised a brow at me, understanding my method of communication.

"To yay banda aap kay sath aik Amreeki gora hai?" (so this man with you is an American white man?)his voice was as commanding as ever that could easily make a whole unit of officers shudder in fear. All the years of serving in the army had made him out to be as stoic and strict as they come.

"Gee," (Yes) I replied unfeelingly. He nodded. "Aur aap kay kia taalukaat hain inn say?" (And what is your relationship with him?) he continued to inquire. I raised a brow at him—the same habit that I inherited from him. I never knew my father to be the inquisitive type. Never one had he taken any interest in my life and now all of a sudden, he meets me after years and all he has to ask about is what Zac was to me. After all, what else could I expect from this unemotional man. I had expected my mother to ask these type of questions but she only stood there, staring at me with sentimental eyes. I almost resisted the urge to roll my eyes at her expression.

From the corner of my eye, I saw Zac stare at me in confusion. Of course he would be confused—even if he was learning urdu, he was no way near understanding what we were talking about.

"Yay mera Shohar hai." (He's my husband.) I replied nonchalantly. I heard both of them take in a sharp breath.

"To, aap nay shaadi kar li hai. Aur aap nay bilkul bi munasib nai samjha apnay maa baap to batana." (So you got married and you didn't deem it appropriate to inform your parents.) he said, his tone laced with dismay.

I shrugged. "Mujay khyaal nai hua. Mai Pakistan wapis aatay hi both masruf ho gai kay muka hi nai mila." (I didn't think about it. I got so busy when I got to Pakistan that I didn't get the chance to.) I replied.

He shook his head in full defeat. "Mai both mayos hua hoon aap mai. Aap panch saalo k lie mulk badr kar gai begair btae aur jab wapis ai to aap nay inti zehmat nai ki kay humay btae kay aap nay shaadi bi kar li." (I'm disappointed in you. You left the country for five years without telling us and when you returned, ou didn't even bother to tell us that you got married.) he said, his shoulders sagging in defeat. I looked at him in awe—I never thought that I would ever see the prideful Brigadier Zaid Naeem look so defeated and crushed. My heart ached at the sight but I kept myself neutral. I wasn't about to let my carefully built mask slip off at his show of rout.

"Aap hamesha mujsay mayoos hi hue hain. Aik aur dafa hi sai." (You've always been disappointed with me. Once more if so.) I said. "Khair, ab aap logo ko pata chal gya hai. Tasali kar lain." (Now you know so be rest assured.) "Now if you'll please excuse us, we need to leave." I declared and dragged Zac with me out of the hall.

EĶt\z8

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