I think that I dreamt of Amber coming here to my condo. But when I woke up for Fajr, I acyually found her sleeping on a couch in the lounge. I slowly approached her and touched her cheek—she was cold as ice and her face looked so worn off. The wheaty shade had turned a shade darker, making her complexion look rather unpleasant. But I must admit, she always looked cute when she is sleeping and giving that witty mouth of hers a rest.

What's she doing here? She should've slept on the bed. Slowly but carefully, I passed one arm behind her shoulders and the other under her knees. Taking a deep breath, I slowly picked her up—oh boy, she's heavy. Her brows furrowed a little so I quickly laid her on the bed. I crouched down besides her as I stared at her face. Why are you here Bree?

I leaned in closer and planted a gentle kiss on her forehead. She smelled of sweet berries. I smiled but it immediately faded away when I remembered all that happened between us.

I quickly jumped to my feet and proceeded for prayer.

She continued to sleep throughout the day. I decided to leave and get some groceries after all there was nothing at the condo to cook with. O my way, I strolled around, trying to clear my mind. I don't know why she came.

Maybe she became worried; after all I left in such a hurry and without any explanation. But that seems highly unlikely. Or maybe she came to do something and knew I was also here and came to stay with me—or worse. My mind was lingering on that but I wouldn't dare acknowledge it. Even if she came here with that purpose in mind, what will I do then?

I'm so confused. I don't know what I should do.

I went back and still found her asleep. Soon it was noon and I decided t make lunch. She must've been really tired. After I made lunch, I went to checkup on her, she was beginning to stir. So prepared two cups of coffee. When I went back, she was sitting on the bed. "Good morning," I greeted. She flinched on seeing me. Abruptly, she jumped out of bed.

"What's wrong?" I inquired. She looked at me and wrapped her arms around herself. That's what you get when you suddenly decide to get out of a warm bed. "I slept in," she mumbled, her voice thick with sleep. I stared at her with a hollow look and nodded. "What do you expect after such a long flight? Of course you'd be tired." I commented, looking at her with concern—I mean, why must be risk her health all the time? Even at home she refused to get enough rest or sleep. I was glad that she slept in for a change.

After giving her coffee, I sat on the edge of the bed and gestured her to sit as well. "You know, you could've slept on the bed." I said. She drank. "I didn't realize that I fell asleep on the couch."

"You're lucky that I found you in time otherwise you would've frozen to death." I said dryly though I was really glad that I did. I glanced around the room; I also noticed in the rest of the condo, it was sparkling clean. So she spent the night cleaning up this place. I felt bad now. "And there wasn't any need for you to clean the condo." I said, gazing in her eyes. Her eyes were sincere, for the first time I didn't see any indifference there. "I felt like doing it." She mumbled. What is this? Why is she doing this? Now I felt irritated for some reason. Is she even trying to fulfill her obligation as a wife here?

"Anyways, I wanted to ask you, how are you? I everything okay?" she enquired. To say that I was surprised would be an understatement—I was beyond astonished as my brows jumped up. Is she seriously asking that? I was right about her motive? But wait, no, it cant be. She's a stubborn and hard headed woman. There's no way that she would ask that out concern. I was feeling angry now. Maybe she just wants to know whether I'll be coming back with her or not. After all, her use of me still hasn't finished. But how can she still be so selfish even now?

I drank my coffee to calm myself down and then glared at her. "What's the matter? You concerned? Did you come to check on your sperm bank?" I spat mockingly. Her eyes widened in surprise as she stared at me in disbelief. Yes, my dear Amber, you aren't off the hook. I'm going to give you a taste of your own medicine. You made me feel so low about myself and in your self-centeredness, you zeroed my existence. My pride wasn't taking this anymore. I think I should send her back as soon as possible. I can't seem to make a clear decision now that she's here.

Placing the cup on the floor, she looked at me with apprehension. "N-no, I just came to see how you were. You left in such a hurry that I couldn't ask then and your phone was disconnected too." She grumbled.

Yeah right, like that could ever happen. But a part of me wanted to believe what she said was true. Maybe I was right. Maybe I'm just letting y anger get the better of me. Oh but what's the point? I don't care anymore. My anger seemed to dissipate.

I glared at her. "Gran died. I came to attend her funeral." I replied in monotone and tried to keep my emotions intact. My heart clenched at the admission—I hated it. I hated that she left me so soon. I hated that I can't see her again. But what I hated most of all, I didn't have anyone to comfort me. My head slumped between my shoulders.

I didn't realize that I was holding the cup in such a tight grip that Amber took it from me. But as soon as I felt her tender touch on my shoulder, I didn't know what came over me and I caught her in between my arms and we fell on the bed. I caught her so tightly like my life depended on her.

I couldn't control it in anymore. If I didn't have anyone at least I still had her—contract or not, we are still in nikkah and she pretty much belongs to me no matter how much she hurt me or used me. I still had her by my side. "Zac?" she uttered and hugged me back. I found a strange peace and warmth in her embrace.

And even if she's selfish, if she's here, then Allah has sent her to offer me comfort in this difficult time. I'm glad that she came, even if it's for selfish reasons. "Shh, it's okay." She murmured and I felt her rub my back. It relaxed me a great deal. As the silent tears and sobs especaped me uncontrollably, I felt a great burden being lifted from my heart.

I don't know for how long i was in her embrace but it gave me so much peace: her continuous strokes to my back added to my continued pleasure. Her soothing words of comfort further relaxed me.  

I was so drowsy from it: it felt like now I could finally get some peaceful sleep.

Hugging her closer, I inhaled her intoxicating scent. Her fingers were soothingly carassing my hair. As her chest moves up and down, her existence became apparent. She shows indifference but her tender touch is soothing and caring. I think that she's full of love but something must've happened to her due to which she licked herself away. Maybe she's anticipating about my decision and then decided to come here and even thought I wouldn't negate her, but I will prove her wrong.

Even if she isn't mine now, I'll make her mine. I'll make sure to break through her barriers. After all, all she has is trust issues and she isn't willing to compromise in that.

You've been here for me Bree when I needed someone desperately. Now I'll return the favor and promise to always be there for you. This I vow.

Yes, she hurt me with her attitude but it's only my pride and if there's something that I've learned from Islam, is that forgiveness is better then carrying a grudge that ultimately leads to one's own destruction.

I want to love you Amber and fall for you but knowing you, your too stubborn. So I'll deal with that stubbornness first.

I sighed and laid a feathery Kiss on her collar bone and got off her. Leaving her warm embrace felt cold but I wanted to clear somethings before I surrender myself completely to her. I willed myself into composure and sat on the bed cross ankled. She looked at me sympathetically but I ignored that look on her face. She sat up as well.

"So," I started and rubbed my face to get rid of any signs of weariness. "Why are you here? I know you Bree, you always have an ulterior motive behind everything." I said honestly with a straight face. Her gazed into my eyes and they were open and inviting, not hiding anything. I know her and I know that's she's honest if I ask her about her intentions. I have witnessed it from day one.

"When you left, I asked you when you'd be back. You said, I don't know." She grumbled, looking me straight in the eye. "I thought, you aren't decisive and maybe you don't want to come back. After all, the way we were then or rather . . . Are, I assumed that perhaps, you've had enough of me. I think that you want divorce." She admitted. I swallowed hard against the lump in my throat.

"Go on."

She stared at me in awe. "I understand if you want a divorce. I just came here to confirm it. I'll contact my lawyer." She said, her eyes that shone with sincerity had turned indifferent again. Before she could get off the bed, I immediately grabbed her wrist.

"We aren't done yet, at least not until you tell me why you think I would want to divorce you." I inquired.

She frowned in confusion. "Isn't it obvious. After what I did to do you, said to you. I know I bruised your ego and after that, I know no one would want to stay with a woman like me. I mean, look at me," she paused, whispering the last part. She thought that i didnt hear her but i did, as clear as a drum. I just stared at her. Her hands clenched into tight fists and i saw a look of self pity and self loathing in eyes? I could be wrong but if im right then it could help to solve the riddle that is Amber Zaid. I finally got to witness her human side-- or more like her womanly side. For a fraction of a moment, i saw various emotions flash through her eyes. The boldness that she shows is nowhere to be seen here instead all I see is a woman who wants to belong. And as soon as they came, they left that quickly and her eyes became guarded again.

Now I understand her a little. She's really insecure and has little confidence in herself. For a person who has goals in every move, she sure wasn't sure about her ownself. I now realize that she's suffering from an inferiority complex.

"That's why i understand if you would want a divorce and I'll accept it without prejudice." She replied dauntingly.

So, you're willing to give up on this marriage that easily? Well I've got news for you Mrs. Islam, I'm no quitter and I certainly wasn't going to quit and commit an act most disliked by Allah.

"I mean, this marriage was a mistake anyways." She stated.
"Is that what you think I feel?" I asked through clenched teeth. Is she seriously regretting marrying me? Well I sure as hell wasn't and I'm not giving up without giving our marriage a chance. If you are that confident that I want a divorce then you got another thing coming.

She stared at me, her eyes questioning. "And what if I told you that I didn't want a divorce? What would you think or say then?" I inquired. For the first time, I left her speechless because she gawked at me as if not believing a single word that i said.

So what do u think? What will be Amber's reaction?

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