You Are All I See - Active Child! This mystical song is absolutely perfect, I love it. 

Nice long chapter :)

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"Are you shielding your energy?"

I nodded with a small smile. "Always. And Bonnie is helping too. I know this beach. There's a cave here, it opens and provides for angels that have lost their way."

"I remember." Cam stood and took my hand to help me up. "Why don't you find it while we check the beach."

I walked along the shore, taking my shoes off to dip my toes into the unusually warm water. Finding the cave wasn't difficult. I could still remember uttering the words to open it when I was younger. 

"Odo, Darbs, Abraasa." I whispered. Translated, it meant Open, Obey, Provide.

The floor vibrated only for a moment before a sheet of rock cracked open enough for people to walk in and out. I glanced in before calling the others over. "Is the beach okay?"

"It'll be fine to stay here for a while before we move again." Jackson said with a grin. "You're happy aren't you?"

"Ecstatic." I exhaled deeply. "But I'm exhausted let's go in." 

The cave still looked exactly as it did all that time ago. There was a pit where we used to light the fire and areas for people to sleep. There were markings on the walls from the previous angels that had resided here. My mark as well as Cam's should be here.

Everyone started to settle into each area, changing into more comfortable clothes out of their fancy robes and masks. I however had a completely different plan.

**

I resurfaced from the water and ran my hands through my long blonde hair. Man, I do miss my dark hair. I felt stronger here, more alive. This world was built for angels; it was built to sustain beings like me. I belonged in Heaven, in the Angelic World. Earth weakened us all. We may be strong but here we were at our strongest.  There were mountains and cliffs far away from here. Heaven was the object of perfection.

I swam further into the waters, staring up as the sky as I stopped and stood. I couldn't remember the last time I was here. This felt like home but there was something missing. 

I glanced down at my mark on my arm and then back to the sky. I wonder... 

'Gabriel...?'

There was no reply. It may be Bonnie's shield and my hiding of my energy. I couldn't risk being discovered. Not yet.

"Having fun?"

I twisted around and dipped myself low enough so the water covered my naked chest. I'd kept my underwear just not my bra.

"The water is still; it's relaxing." I smiled.

Cameron waded his way over, his chest bare as he stopped a fair distance away. "These waters haven't changed."

"Nothing has really. How long do you think it will take to get to Bastille?"

"We'll have to pass three of the Watchtower's if we want to go in unnoticed."

"How ironic," I mumbled. "Pass the Watchtower's to go in unnoticed. Is there no other way in?"

"Well... We could go through the Citadel."

I shuddered. Citadel was the stronghold that commanded this world. It was a palace of the sort, where the archangels themselves interact and converse with one and other for their summits and such. Bastille was the fortress behind it. Where Gabriel would be. 

"That is a last resort. As soon as I walk through the doors of Citadel they will know who I am regardless of my hidden power, hidden mark and my hair colour."

"And The First Elder and his wife."

For a moment I wondered who he was talking about until I remembered Kim telling me about them. "Perses and Helena."

"You don't remember them."

"Not at all." Angels flew across the sky, not taking any notice of us down below thankfully. I swam a little way away from Cam but he followed. "I wish I could remember."

"Not many can remember much before The Fall. I can't either. But I'm sure if you saw them you'd be able to recall something."

Perses had apparently cared for me but somehow I find it hard to believe. Kimberly had said they treated me like their daughter. Kim had also said there are many books on them and me in the Angelic World. If we passed the Ancient Archives Library on the way then maybe I will have a look.

I swam a circle around Cameron before lightly splashing him and saying, "So, really we should discuss why you decided to help me then."

"I thought we'd already established it's my way of apologising."

I smiled as I circled him a third time. "Somehow I think you're lying."

"Why would I have any reason to lie about this?"

"After two years, your way of making it up to me is getting the man I love out of a Tribunal that probably would have lasted another one hundred years? If anything I would have assumed you'd use that time to get back on my good side because, Cam let's face it. That's probably how long it would have lasted."

As I went to circle him a fourth time, he grabbed my forearm and yanked me to stand in front of him. I stayed below water level so I wouldn't reveal too much of myself. The anger on his face surprised me at first. I didn't expect to anger him at all...

"Tell me I'm wrong." I challenged. "Wasn't that a better plan? One hundred years with me rather than a few measly weeks?"

"I'm not as self-centred as you think I am."

I reared back with a sarcastic smile and laughed. "Really now?"

His nostrils flared. "No, Alex."

"Hmph. Right." As I went to leave he yanked on my arm again with a frown. "What?"

"I have two more lives to tell you about."

"What, now?"

He started to swim away from me but he yelled back before doing so, "Follow me!"

I rolled my eyes but did as he said as he swam towards the rocks near the cave. He led me further and further away from where Jackson and the rest were and led me to where his clothes were resting on a lane of rocks leading into another small cave. He stepped out of the water and threw me his t-shirt, his shorts dripping at his feet as he helped me out. The t-shirt clung to my body and I ignored Cameron's little glances with a slight blush to my cheeks.

"Why are we here?" I asked walking ahead of him.

He grabbed my hand and pulled me backwards to go the other way. "It's part of one of the stories. Whilst we walk there I'll explain the first one. This life I'm about to tell you about... you didn't live past the age of three. You died of an infection. It was so short I don't even like to remember the year or..." He exhaled softly. "You were so young. I was the doctor's assistant. I didn't know it was you until I'd looked into your bright grey eyes as you passed away."

I hadn't considered my body dying before I'd completed my change. All of the stories he'd told me of, I'd lived through this and that and everything. But with this... I was only a child.

"Did you know my name?"

He shook his head as he squeezed my hand. "I didn't; the doctor did. I had wished not to be told your name. Watching you die as a toddler, it was horrific for me."

I smiled sadly at him. "And all of the other times I died as an adult."

"This was different, Alex. You were helpless, only a child oblivious to everything other than yourself."

That was the second time he'd called me Alex but I chose not to comment on it. "I'm sorry."

"No, its fine." Cameron slowed his steps when he came to a series of conjoined rocks climbing upwards. "Climb up with me. I'll go first." He stepped onto the first rock and scaled up quickly; I trailed behind him. He stepped up onto a balcony that circled the cave top staring out into the unknown of the seas outside. The sky was even more gorgeous higher up. I leaned over the side and stared. It was calming up here, a place of solitude and thought. I could hear the voices of this world, the voices of the angels' thoughts and their spoken foreign words.

"Alex."

I spun my head around to see him on the other side staring at the land ahead instead of the sea. I joined him with a sigh. There it was. Citadel. Bastille was behind it. It was so far away and yet it looked absolutely enormous. The four watch towers were located around the sides one for each element, pointing in the cardinal directions of North, East, South and West towering high and breaking above the sky. 

"Why did you bring me up here?" I asked as I glanced down to watch Kim and Jackson leaving the caves to walk along the shore. 

"To show you and tell you about this life I spent with you." His hand grazed against the rock beneath his palm repeatedly and I looked down to see lines spiral out of it. "Tahiti may have been your first human life. But you didn't start there. You started here after you'd died for the first time. Here in the Angelic World. As a Pure. The Elders wanted to make an experiment. Rebirth you as Pure and not as you are now. Of course you were so new you didn't know left from right, it was interesting for Gabriel and I. Angel's had feared you but you didn't know why. You controlled your power with ease, it shocked all of us. But later you started to turn, to ask questions. You'd reached the mental age of when you were supposed to remember but it went wrong."

"Why can't I remember this?" 

"The Elders, especially Helena, wanted you to forget this ever happened. It was wrong of them to make you Pure. I shouldn't be telling you this. But I think you should know about it. Think for a moment. It may not come to you completely at first but it will."

As I stood there glaring at Citadel, flickers, as if a TV screen started to come back to me. I gasped and concentrated more as slowly, memories of that life returned...

*The Angelic World centuries ago*

I watched as Gabriel and Cameron argued along the shores of the beach. They would not be able to see me up here, my sanctuary. Why were they arguing? As I strained my hearing, I frowned. Were they arguing about me?

"...the right mind." Gabriel argued. "Leave her be."

"Lest you have forgotten Gabriel I have known her longer than you will ever. You do not know her as I."

"I will."

"She does not remember you. Leave me to speak with her."

Gabriel grabbed Cameron's arm to stop him and pulled him back to him. "Let me."

"No."

"Enough, both of you,"

My gaze flickered to Helena walking toward them. Her long white hair flowed to her waist in a long plait. I had always liked Helena. She was beautiful, more so than everyone else in this world. 

"She can hear you both." She alerted them. "You are confusing her more than ever with your arguing."

"But-" Cameron started but she interrupted. "That is enough. Gabriel, come with me. Cameron will soothe her. She is on the rocks above."

Both Gabriel and Cameron's eyes zeroed in on me before Helena left with Gabriel. Cameron unfurled his beautiful almost golden wings and flew to me. "Are you-?"

"I am well." I told him continuing my scratching' into the rock wall. "Why do you and Gabriel argue? Arguing is not permitted-"

"Do not worry about what is permitted and what isn't, Lonsa." He stood beside me and looked to where I was scratching. "What is that?"

I looked down and smiled. Unaware, I was scratching the sky and the scene I was witnessing into the surface. Gabriel and Cameron stood on the sand whilst the sky swirled into spirals above them. "You."

"That's very pretty."

I smiled crookedly at him and lay a hand on his arm. "Do not humour me, Cameron."

He laughed quietly and ran his hand along my cheek. "I cannot tell you a lie. You should try doing a larger version."

I grinned wider at his compliment and giggled. "You have the greatest of confidence in me. As does Gabriel."

"That is because we care about you."

I suddenly frowned. "Gabriel does not. He is my guardian but he does not care."

Cameron's lips pursed. "He'll come to care as I do."

"He will?" I said with an excited smile. "I hope so. But I am glad I have you. You have a beautiful heart." I pressed my hand to his chest feeling the slow but then increasing patter of his heart against my palm. I glanced down at the shore and pecked his cheek. I felt bad for doing that. We weren't supposed to do things like that. "Come on! You can help me create a larger one back in my quarters."

As I glanced back at Cameron, it wasn't until this moment, in my memories did I realise the loving smile on his face as I flew back to Citadel.

*Present*

As I slowly came back to reality, Cameron lifted his hand from the rock. I ran my fingers against the aging marks scratched deeply into the surface of the wall but they look faded. They looked as if someone had been rubbing something against it. And I came to realise Cameron had probably been up her over and over again, rubbing his palm against it for some form of comfort. I'd allowed Cameron to listen and watch the memory as I had.

"You were so innocent, so young and small. Although your mind had aged to eighteen years, you were so adolescent it was almost cruel when you had to endure your change. You went ballistic once you realized what they had done to you, to your body and mind. I don't remember what happened after that because they'd erased it not just from your mind but from mine and Gabriel's. I only started to remember a few decades ago after you healed me from my almost death on that battle field in the 1980s."

He turned to me bringing my hand to his chest, against his fast beating heart. Hearing his heart had always reminded me of how I gave up my life for him. Even now I couldn't ever forget.

"You loved me." He murmured keeping one hand over mine and running the other from my hair along my cheek; the sparks of warmth Cameron always ignited within me different than ever before. "As I loved you."

I shook my head trying to pull away but he held on and brought me forward. "Cameron, you know... it was differ-"

"It may be different. You may not feel it for me now or you may not have ever," He started as he cupped my neck and tilted my head upward to meet his fiery gaze. "But I've lived with this for years. How I feel for you, how much I want you but never had a chance to have you. And it has literally almost been the death of me."

My heart ached as he slipped his hand from over mine and held it over my hip gingerly, almost as if touching me right now couldn't ever be a possibility until this very moment. My head throbbed with this new information and my face, I was sure, relayed the confusion he was settling into my mind.

"I'm not going to make you feel love if you don't, Alexis. I won't hold you right now if you want to go. All you have to do is tell me. Tell me to let you go and I will."

Why now would he do this to me? I would have much preferred if this was out of the way in The Unnamed Realm. I would have had a chance to accept this and move on whilst we traveled but... he sprung it on here. Where I was at my most relaxed. At this point, I trusted him more than ever. He'd kept true to his word and gotten us this far. He was here to help me find Gabriel and yet... 

He tipped my head higher as he took another step forward. I started to shake my head, willing him to let me go, to control himself because I couldn't. His thoughts were nothing but stars and dust. He was trying to keep his mind as blank as possible I could feel it. And before I could open my mouth to stop him, he pressed his lips to mine in a feather light kiss. 

It felt odd to be kissed... to be held. I hadn't been touched like this in a long time. It had always been different with Cameron, always. 

I was completely still, unable to bring myself to respond or even move, afraid that I would respond. His thumb brushed against my jaw as he nudged his bottom lip between the opening of my lips. His presence at this moment overwhelmed me completely. My mind erased completely when he kissed my top lip and then my bottom. My fingers ran over the pebbling skin of his chest to the nape of his neck. Both of his hands gripped my hips and yanked me against him, consuming all rational thought entirely. His tongue massaged against mine as his palms gripped my skin over the damp t-shirt. He took a moment to inhale a stuttering breath before claiming my lips a second time this time there was no hesitation or stealth about it. The passion he emitted into my bloodstream was scolding, almost burning me... Unless... It was...

He released me abruptly, moving his hands to grip my shoulders. "You're burning."

I stepped out of his hold. My thoughts returning, rational thought trailing behind with a scolding sneer. I watched as he dropped his hands to his side, the look of worry clearly written all over his face as well as lust. 

But I shook my head and walked backwards. "Get some rest; we're leaving in a few hours."

"Alexis-"

"Please." I said shakily. I returned to the beach without a glance back and walked straight into the cave. Bonnie was lying down on a blanket near the fire with a pen and a sheet of paper in hand. 

She looked up at me with a tense jaw and said, "You won't get away with not telling me what happened up there. There's a hole in the wall."

I glared across the cave at the small hole looking directly at the peak of the small cave a way away. 

"Come here," Bonnie pushed the paper and pen aside and I happily fell into her awaiting arms. "You've really softened up since we started this trip, Alex."

Being called Alex and Alexis it felt... Better. It reminded me of who I was and it was weird but it felt good.

"What have I done, Bon?" I mumbled, feeling my heart rip into pieces and my soul tear in two. I had to be the worst person to exist at this moment. The guilt will, and has already started, eat me alive. I am here for one purpose and then I do this? What came over me? What mind set was I in? I didn't even attempt to push him away; I didn't even put up a fight.

"He's been casting his spell ever since we met him in Vegas last month." Bonnie said as she stroked my arm.

"I'm stupid."

She sighed. "Yeah you are."

I deserved that.

"But you were oblivious, Alex. Cam's been your friend since the beginning of time, surely you-"

"I knew." I interrupted wiping away a silent tear. "I've always known." Quickly, I touched my palm to her wrist and showed her what had happened up on the rocks. "I'm just a stupid."

"Sweetheart..."

"I'm here to find the man I... I love and I..." I jumped out of Bonnie's embrace. "I go and..."

Bonnie started to slowly stand. "Alex, calm down."

"No! No I'm angry, furious at myself. I am livid. This is me, my fault I gave in, I allowed him to kiss me. I didn't put up a fight and you saw! You saw me!" I hissed throwing my hand in the direction of the hole in the wall. My hands were shaking and I could feel the red haze of anger filling my vision. "What am I going to do, huh? Dammit-"

"Lonsa!"

Both Bonnie and I turned to the entrance to watch Jackson and Kimberly running in whispering the Enochian words for it to close. "Calm down!" Kim said. "Angels are coming. They're searching the beach."

"Where's Cameron?" Bonnie asked.

"We thought he was in here."

"That stupid man!" I cursed, the anger still bubbling inside of me. "I'll go-"

"No. Out of all of us, you are the worst to be discovered right now. He'll return. Everyone just needs to get some rest. You especially." Kim stressed. 

We doused the fire in case they smelt or saw the smoke and outside became very dark very quickly. I put on my shorts and changed from Cam's t-shirt to my own. Whilst the rest slept I stood awake by the hole in the wall staring ahead at the sky, tracking the five angels wandering across the shore of the beach. Each was too young to know of this cave so there wasn't a need to worry. My gaze wandered to the forgotten necklace I'd taken off back at the Stronghold and connected to my bag. Once upon a time, Gabriel had given me that for Christmas. It was made of pure platinum along with the ring, I'd discovered that when it scolded my skin during my Decision. 

I unclipped it from my bag and stared at it resting against my palm. Gabriel will hate me. How could he forgive me?

I'd been avoiding the reason I'd allowed Cam to kiss me because truthfully I didn't know. I loved Cameron but... I wasn't... I mean I'd already known I had feelings for him, Gabriel even knew that. 

I heard the front of the cave crack and rumble before it was silent again. I gritted my teeth, not daring myself to look at him. I felt his presence beside me and I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye. Without touching me, he skimmed my hair away from my shoulders and pinched the necklace from my within my palm. His fingers deftly clipped the chain around my neck.

"Forget it happened." He mumbled beside my ear.

"I can't do that." I whispered.

"Try." He replied before pressing a kiss to my temple stroking my hair back to its original place. My body twitched with awareness and I inwardly scolded myself. "I'm sorry."

I turned my head away from him unable to handle the onslaught of emotions hitting me left right and centre. His presence disappeared from behind me before I heard the rustling of a bag and then the silence. Cameron didn't sleep much that night, I knew from the beat of his heart. I didn't dare to sleep afraid of what I'd see. So I watched the skies, staying alert and watching as white wings travelled over the beach hour by hour. And by the time the skies had turned to its brightened purples and oranges I came up with the agenda to do this quickly, quicker than planned. We'd go through Citadel, screw the Watchtower's. I'll handle the judgment from the Elder's if we crossed them. Bonnie might sway me from my crazed thoughts but I needed to finish this.

If it meant taking Gabriel's place so be it. If it meant staying here then I'd send Bonnie back to Earth with Jackson and Kim to protect it as much as possible. Either way, going through Citadel was a must.

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Meh, you'll all hate me I know but seeds had to be planted into Alex's mind in order to move forward. COMMENTS ARE COOL, SO ARE THE VOTES :P