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I stared out of the window of Gabriel's bedroom at six in the morning. The sun was shining over the back yard causing the snow to drip off the roof of the house. 
It was amazing how aware I was of the small things now. 

I pulled the blanket around me tighter and flinched at the throbbing ache in my back. The only reason I was up so early was because of my back. I glanced at Gabriel's sleeping body and sighed. Last night, we fell asleep in each other's arms. His thoughts were filled with memories that were slowly fading from my own while mine were trying to connect with the human side I've been trying so hard to cling onto.

The house was silent from any thoughts or voices so I was guessing everyone left after I saw them last night. 

And Gabriel was dreaming... 

A small whimper escaped my own lips as my back arched over from pain. I checked to see if Gabriel heard but he thankfully didn't move or shift. I didn't know whether to go back to bed or keep my mind off the pain. I needed to take the medicine later on. It was too early. 
Maybe I could go outside... A run maybe.

I took a step toward the door when I heard the movement on the bed. I looked at him in time to see his eyes search the empty sheets beside him then finally land on me.

I moved back to his side of the bed and loosened the blanket enough to get my hand out. "Go back to sleep." I moved a curly lock of hair away from his forehead. 

"Are you alright?"

I nodded and forced a smile. "I'm fine; I just need to get some air."

He was about to sit up but I pushed him back down. "Go back to sleep Gabriel."

He frowned. "Is it your back?"

I stroked his cheek. "Yes, but I'm fine I promise. I just need some air that's all."

He stared at me for a minute but then nodded and laid his head back on his pillow. I pressed my lips to his head and grabbed one of his dark red t-shirts off the side. I shrugged it on, dropping the blanket in the process. I walked out of his room slowly, occasionally stopping to groan in pain. 

I made it to my room to shrug on underwear and a pair of grey sweat pants. I slipped on my white Converse and made my way downstairs. Once outside I breathed in deeply and let it out.

The fresh air filled my lungs but it didn't do a thing to the pain in my back.

I started walking around to the front so I could take a walk through the forest. I knew I was safe here. The demon or Reece wouldn't dream to come here without getting themselves killed. 

I heated myself up from my core so I wouldn't get cold as I didn't have a coat or jacket on. When the wind blew, that's when I realized I'd picked up one of Gabriel's ripped shirts.
I shivered slightly and continued to heat myself up. Maybe a run might get my blood boiling. 

I didn't want to run far but maybe near the river...

I weaved in and out of the trees and got there in no time. I shut my eyes, bent down and put my hand on the snow. A huge circle melted around me and I sat down. I didn't care if the grass was wet.

I glanced around the clearing and down at the water.

I'd had a dream last night... It was one of a burning forest. I'd had the dream before but it's been a while. It was vivid. The same burning forest and the river. Gabriel was there but he was shouting. I couldn't make out his words.

I knew it was this forest. And now that I knew that I could burn anything I want, I obviously had something to do with the dream. But when, I didn't know. I was afraid. 
There was something inside of me telling me that I was close to my final change. I could feel it.

My hand instinctively went to my back when a sharp pain coursed throughout it. I looked at my hand and sighed. Blood.

I stood up to rinse my hands in the river. When I turned back to the place I was seated, I lay back not caring that my head was in snow and groaned. How many pints of blood does a human get? 
I mean I should be dead with the amount of blood I've lost.

I stared toward the sun when a thought came to mind. Could I be that hot? Could I ever turn myself up to the heat of the sun? That'd be pretty interesting to try... Very stupid though. Why would I be stupid enough to do that?

A familiar feeling passed through me and I chuckled. "You can't keep yourself hidden. It's impossible now. I could feel you from miles away." I turned my head to the entrance of the clearing.

A familiar blonde walked through after two minutes. He smiled genuinely and strolled forward. "I know you can."

"What brings you around, Cameron? You shouldn't really be here."

He stood in front of me and I observed his long sleeve white t-shirt and his dark ripped jeans. His smile turned into a frown and he turned away. 

"Oh," I said understanding. "You could..."

"Feel you." He finished for me. "Yes. I wasn't far from here. Your large amount of energy sort of blasted my way. It's not safe for you to be out here. Even if you are close to the house."

"I needed to get away. Get some air while everyone's sleeping." I sat up and stared up at him. "My back isn't very cooperative."

He glanced down at the ground before saying, "I can see that."

I looked where he was and saw the blood on parts of the snow. I put my hand on top if it and melted it.

Cam laughed and I couldn't help but watch. His smile was pure. One I hadn't seen in a while... He sat down on a melted space around me and faced me. 

"How are you?"

"In pain." I flinched. 

"Have you let your wings out yet?" 

I frowned. "I don't want to. It hurts as it is. And plus, they haven't finished growing."

"Are you uncomfortable?"

I nodded.

"You need to try and let them out. It might put an ease on them."

"But they're not..."

"It'll relax you."

I sighed. "How do I do it?"

"You just... Do."

I raised an eyebrow and stood up. "That's not very helpful."

He stood up too. "Well, you can't be told how. You just know. Relax yourself."

"It's kind of hard to when I'm in pain." I mumbled.

"Think about the pain. Think about when your bones start realigning themselves. Just think of nothing but that."

I sighed and shut my eyes. I let my mind stick onto that horrible pain in my back. I could feel the movement. I cringed slightly...

And then there was a loud crack.

I cried out and dropped to my knees in the agonizing pain. I clenched my hands into the quickly melting snow. I lent my forehead against the snow which also melted quickly. It was unbearable.

I shouted in pain when my shoulder and arm suddenly jerked backward... Why?
Because it popped out of its socket.

"Jesus!" I gritted out. "Cam!" I screamed.

He was behind me in seconds and picked me up. "This will hurt."

"No shit!" I screeched at him. There was another loud crack and my back tried arching forward but Cameron was keeping me straight. Tears were flowing down my cheeks and my back cracked again. 

He wrapped one arm across my waist and the other across my shoulders. "Ready?"

I nodded and bit down on my lip.

He started squeezing my shoulders as if in an embrace. But then he jerked me backwards fast and hard. I cried out in pain as my shoulder blades snapped and clicked.

The excruciating pain disappeared quickly. There was a sudden sting and movement in my back I realized I wasn't controlling. It made my teeth clench and made a shiver rack through my body. Cam turned me around and I couldn't help but let my legs give out. His White t-shirt now had dark red marks on it. He held me up and said, "This might feel weird."

Before I could even ask what, that sound of ripping thick rubber sounded through my ears. The pain registered as the bones moved back inside me... I just retracted my wings. Or what I had of my wings.

Cameron carefully placed me on the ground keeping his hands close by if I fell. The sound disappeared and so did the pain. I started taking deep long breaths and putting my hands on my head.

I felt nauseous and dizzy.

I had to calm myself down to the right body temperature because I heated up even more than I'd realized. Half of the wood around me wasn't covered in snow anymore.

It was silent between us as I stared down at the grass. The only noise there was, was the sound of birds and the wind blowing through the trees.

"I suppose I should thank you. But then again you should have told me it would hurt that much." I said breaking the silence.

He picked something off the ground and opened my hand. I looked down at what he was placing in it and I gasped.

The feather was pure black. It shined a fresh glossy black when I put it near the sun. I ran my hand up its spine and sighed. "So... Does this make me a demon?"

He laughed with obvious relief and sat casually in front of me. "I don't think so." He looked into my eyes for a moment before turning away. "Your wings are growing healthily..."
He shook his head suddenly and looked up. "Can I ask you something?"

"Do I have to answer?" 

"If you want to." He glanced at me before looking back up. "Are you scared?"

I waited for him to elaborate. But he didn't. He just continued to stare up into the sky. I had a feeling I knew what he was getting at. So I said, "Of course I am. I mean, it's not everyday you find out you were born to keep the universe in peace or doom it to an eternal hell, is it?" I smiled and ran my empty hand through my hair. "I mean I could obviously choose to keep the universe in peace, couldn't I? I was talking with Gabriel last night but he wouldn't let us stray off to that conversation. I'm scared to be vulnerable. I mean right now I honestly feel... Too open. Everyday, I'm getting..." I sighed heavily and put my feather on the ground. "I don't know. I just..."

He put his hand on top of mine.

I trailed off and stared at him. 

"Calm. You're burning up with frustration." He squeezed. 

"Sorry." I muttered. I shut my eyes and frowned. "It sounds so easy choosing the right thing. But... I feel like I can be persuaded. I know it's getting closer," I opened my eyes. "I just know it. I can feel it."

He rubbed his thumb back and forth across the top of my palm. It comforted me slightly. 

"How close do you feel it is?" He asked seriously.

"Very soon." I replied softly. "Too soon maybe."

Cameron slid his hands up to my wrists and pulled me up. "Do you want to keep talking about it?"

I thought about it for a moment and finally shook my head. "No. No, I don't."

A sweet smile lit up his face. "Then let's take your mind off it."

"How?" I asked curiously. 

He looked over my shoulder when he said, "A couple of centuries ago you taught me how to manipulate a flame. I don't know much but it was enough. Do you remember?"

I stared at him for a moment and gasped as the memory came quickly. "Oh my, yes. We used to play with fire." I laughed. "Why did we even start that game? Oh wait, never mind. The boring days back in our world."

Cameron stared at me impressed and finally let go of my wrists. He took a few steps back. "Remember how to play?"

My eyes widened. "Um..."

He smiled and clapped his hands to rub them together. "Make a flame and I'm sure we can work from there."

I nodded and brought my hand out. The flame ignited on my hand and I stared at it. "Now what?"

"Throw it to me." 

I looked up at him to see him quite far across the clearing. "Just throw?"

He nodded. "If the flame extinguishes or one of us drops it then you lose. Simple?"

I nodded. I pulled my arm back and threw it toward him. I didn't want him hurt so I made sure he wasn't hurt by it. What he doesn't know can't hurt him.

He had both hands on it and threw it to me. I caught it and smiled. "Seems simple enough."

An evil smirk played on his lips. "Now we have to try and get it past each other."

I threw it back and said, "What do you mean?"

This time, he threw it in a completely different direction at full speed. I ran toward it and jumped to catch it.

I skimmed the bottom of it and managed to hook onto it. It moved down my hand and I looked back at him. "Okay I get it. I have to just basically try and get it past you or for you to drop it. 

He nodded.

I smiled evilly. "Okay. This should be fun."


**


He jumped up high to catch the flaming ball and dropped to the ground. "Come on," He said. "Do better than that."

It'd been a while since we started the game. The sun had moved slightly higher into the sky and the snow in the clearing had melted quickly from our game. He was winning 7 - 5 but I was getting better. We decided to go up to ten when I scored the first time.

"This is my first time playing since the 19th century. Give me a break." I snapped.

He laughed. "Stop making excuses."

I looked at the flame and smiled at it. "Give me a break?"

He chuckled. "Hell no."

I watched the flame grow bigger on his hand and his face went pale. He brought both hands to the growing fire and concentrated on it.

"Give me a break?"

"Alex, stop." He demanded.

I laughed and got rid of it all together. He banged his hands against his shirt and paced around in a circle for a moment. I was still laughing when he jogged to the river to cool his hands down. 

Then I was suddenly lifted from ground and over a hard shoulder. I squealed. "What are you-- Cam put me down."

"Hmm..." Cam said. "No." I felt his body vibrate as his wings moved out from his back and out behind him. I was watching but I couldn't see anything. The t-shirt was in the way until they shot out from the two slices in his shirt.

"What are you doing---" I screamed as he blasted through the sky. He went higher and higher and soon enough we were above the clouds. I scrambled to hook my arms around his back and my legs around his waist.

He laughed. "I wonder what would happen if I dropped you."

"Don't you dare." I warned. "It's not even funny, Cameron. Put me down."

He sighed. "You asked for it."

"Wait no!" I said as he tried prying me off him. "Fly me down don't drop me!"

He started laughing as he flew slightly higher and plunged into the clouds. I didn't scream or shut my eyes like I usually did. I watched the world get closer and closer until we were finally back at the river. He slowed and stopped once his feet lightly touched the ground. 

"You can let go now." He chuckled.

I unhooked my legs from his waist and dropped to the ground. I kept my hands on his shoulders for balance and stared down at my feet. His hands were on my waist as he helped me stand up right. I'll never get over flying. It's fun but it always leaves me feeling a bit wobbly.

Cam grunted slightly as his wings moved into his back. His hands tightened on my waist and his eyes squeezed shut.

"You okay?" I asked.

He nodded stiffly. "Stung a little that's all." His eyes strayed to my neck. "That's a nice ring."

I touched it briefly and smiled but didn't mention who got it. Why, a part of me shouted. I shook the thought away and said, "Gabriel got it for me. A Christmas gift."

He nodded but didn't comment on it.

I was about to move away when my legs wobbled slightly. I clenched my hands on his shoulders and he kept me standing.

He looked down at me.

I caught his bright blue eyes and watched him watch me. His touch was familiar. I knew it like it was my own. Memories poured into my mind like hot water. 

His large hands moved up my back softly which brought me back to reality.

I shook my head and turned out of his grasp. "Today was fun. But I think I should be getting back. No one's called me but I know its past midday now." I glanced back at Cameron who was giving me a pained look. "I know at the funeral I said I would see you again soon, but it wasn't a promise? Same applies here. It's not safe--"

"Safe?" He interrupted. "For who you? Your emotions? Your life? What isn't safe about me being here?" He asked. It wasn't an angry tone or an annoyed voice but he was truly curious as to why I shouldn't see him again.

"Let's not start this conversation please? We've had a great day. It was just like old times. Let's leave it like that." I begged him.

"What conversation?" He encircled his hands around my arms. "You're hiding behind what you used to be. Your not human anymore, Alex. I'm sorry. You need to accept the fact that you're a different person."

"I have." I said without turning around.

"No you haven't. Because if you have then we'd be together now. We'd be friends. We'd be spending time together. We'd be like we were today."

I nodded slowly. "Well maybe it's best if I stayed who I was instead of changing."

"That's the thing. You haven't changed. You are her, Alex. You are Lonny. Your personality, your brain, your heart beat is exactly the same. You just haven't realized that you are the exact same person."

He was right. I hadn't realized. I hadn't thought about how alike my past and present self were. I thought about us as two separate people. 

I turned to him.

He searched my eyes for a moment before turning toward the entrance of the clearing. I followed his gaze and sighed heavily. 

A figure was standing next to a tree under the shadows. Before I could comment or even consider running away, he walked out and stood next to a tree closer. He crossed his arms over his chest and stared.

"See you soon, Cameron." I said without keeping my eyes off Gabriel.

"Is that a promise?"

I smiled lightly at him and walked to Gabe. "How long have you been there?" I asked as I walked past him.

His eyes were glued to Cam as he said, "Long enough."

"For what?" 

He caught up to me and stopped me by blocking my path. A picture came up in his mind of just a moment ago when Cam had his hands on my waist and I pulled away. "'I know at the funeral I said I would see you again soon...'" He repeated what I said earlier. His face was unreadable.

I walked around him and kept moving. "I did say that, I'm not going to deny that fact."

"That's not why I'm upset, Alex." He said. "The fact that you didn't tell me you saw him."

"I don't need to tell you, Gabriel. Cameron was and still remains my friend. I know that what happened last month wasn't... Right. And I apologized for that. I understand if you don't trust me now because if I were you, I wouldn't trust me. I've had shit in the past three months I can't control. And when I kissed him last month that was something I couldn't control. There was a part of me that told me to do it. To test the theory." I stopped walking. 
He stopped as well and turned to me. His face was pained but there was an understanding there.
"I know you said... That I was in love with him before. That my feelings and memories will come back. But they haven't. He is my friend. That's it. Don't you trust me?" I asked.

Gabriel looked up at the sky for a minute and then sighed. "It's not that I don't trust you, Alexis. I don't..." He sighed again. "I just don't trust him. I never have."

"I can't force you to like him or trust him. It's me you should trust. I wouldn't do anything to hurt you, Gabriel." I slid my hand into his and yanked him forward. His lip twitched slightly but he remained composed. "Do you trust me?"

He removed his hand from mine and put both of them either side of my face. "I trust you with my life."

"Thank you," I whispered.

"Just... next time please tell me?" He begged. "It would make me feel better to know that you're at least safe with Cameron instead of out on your own."

I nodded. "This wasn't planned. I was in pain and Cam---"

"Pain?"

Before I could explain, he turned me around and gasped quietly. "Did you extract your wings?"

"Ah... Yes. It stopped the pain. I didn't want to take the medicine yet, it was too early. So Cameron helped me—calm down Gabriel, I didn't break anything in my back." He tried interrupting me but I silenced him. "I was just uncomfortable. I'm fine, Gabe."

He took a deep breath. "Good."

I grabbed his hand and started strolling through the woods. "I'm sorry, Gabriel."

His hand squeezed mine. "I'm not angry with you, Alex." He brought my hand to his mouth. "I was just... Surprised. You're right though; you didn't need to tell me. But I'm just asking that... you tell me if you're with him?" It was more of a question than a demand which I appreciated.

"Of course; but I can't control it if he pops out of no where, Gabe."

His jaw clenched. "I know."

The conversation ended at that and my head was swimming with different thoughts. I touched the ring at my neck. My Final Stage was coming along quick and I couldn't stop it. I was still thinking about giving myself to Reece and the demon but Gabriel didn't know that. I couldn't risk getting anymore of my friends killed. I couldn't afford the people I loved killed. It was selfish for me to just give myself in but it has to be done to save them. How would I go about doing that without getting caught?

Now that Reece had disappeared how would I contact them? I wasn't much of a tracker...

A quiet bell rang in my head.

I glanced at Gabriel at the corner of my eye. He didn't hear it...

Someone was calling me. But it was private and evil. It made my blood boil and my hand clench in Gabriel's.

"Are you alright?"

I nodded quickly but kept staring forward. "I'm great."

They're calling me. They know I've decided to go to them.

But when could I get away?

And how hard will it be to go...?

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(edited: 2023)