"No, I'm Sirius." And he threw back his head and laughed...

Frank closed his eyes and counted slowly backwards from ten. When he got to two, he opened his eyes and looked directly into Sirius's. "Listen. Sirius. I know you're freaking out right about now, but in a second Mad-Eye is going to come in here and start questioning you and if you don't get your damned wits in line, he's going to bloody book you, alright? You cannot be goofing off with Mad-Eye because he will crush you. Do you understand?"

Sirius stared at Frank defiantly, his chin slightly raised.

"Did you threaten that woman?" Frank asked.

"If I did, she would've deserved it, the heinous hag."

"But did you?"

Sirius grinned at Frank. 

"Sirius, this is real life, alright, you have to bloody answer!" Frank slapped his hand on the table in frustration.

"Is this the real life?" Sirius asked.

Frank looked at him, "What?"

"....or is this just fantasy?"

"Sirius, that's what I'm telling you, it's --"

"Caaaaught in a laaaandslide, no escape from re-aaaalll-ityyyyy..."

"Stop. Stop right there," Frank said, realizing what Sirius was doing.

"Open your eyes... look up to the skies and seeeeeeee ---"

The door banged open and in stumped Mad-Eye Moody, his face red with frustration, wooden leg clunking with every other step he took and he looked at Frank, "Get out."

Frank hesitated, "Sir - Sirius is, well he's having a bit of a melt down --"

"I'M JUST A POOR BOY, I NEED NO SYMPATHY!"

"Sirius!" Frank hissed.

"I said get out, Longbottom," Moody grumbled.

Frank looked at Sirius, then sighed and went out the door.

Mad-Eye picked up the paperwork Frank had left on the table and started looking it over, reading the summary of allegations.

"I'm easy come, easy go... little high, little low..." Sirius was still singing, though decidedly quieter than he'd been a moment before.

Mad-Eye lowered the parchment to look at Sirius.

"Anyway the wind blows doesn't really matter.... to me.... to me..." 

Mad-Eye turned on Sirius, "Well boy, it'll damn well matter when you're locked in our cells in the dungeons here, won't it?"

Frank Longbottom was pacing in the corridor. "Bloody hell. Bloody hell. Blooood-ddyyy helllll."

"Frank?"

He turned 'round and saw James, Lily, Gideon, Fabian, and Newt Scamander coming toward him. "Oh thank God it's you," he said, looking specifically at James. 

"Frank, what's going on? What's Sirius here for?"

"He's been arrested," Frank said, and he ran his hand through his hair nervously, "He's been arrested because a woman claims he attacked her and threatened to loose a werewolf on her and her friends tomorrow night during the full moon. He - he's not helping his case very well."

"Why? What's he saying?"

Frank hesitated.

"Frank?" Lily asked gently.

"....the lyrics to Bohemian Rhapsody."

"Bloody hell." James turned and pressed his forehead against the wall. 

Gideon laughed in spite of himself and Fabian jabbed him in the side with his elbow sharply.

"You've got to get him out of there, Frank," Lily begged, catching hold of Frank's forearm.

"Yeah it sounds like the allegations are blown way out of the water compared to what Sirius told us happened," James said, "He's an idiot but he wouldn't attach someone and threaten them like that. And where's he going to get a bloody werewolf anyway?" James rolled his eyes.

Frank stared at James for several long moments. "James, c'mon."

James met Frank's eyes and he wondered how long Frank had known.

"Please, Frank," Lily said, catching hold of Frank's arm.

He looked into her eyes and his face went from just tired to a heavy sorrow, "Lily, he's being questioned by Mad-Eye Moody - the head of the Department. It is way over my pay grade to even dream of going in there."

"Not ours," said Gideon and he looked at Fabian.

"Yeah, not ours." Fabian stepped 'round James and the pair of them went into the room. For the split second that the door was opened, they could hear Sirius still singing.

James turned and pressed his head to the wall again. "Bloody hell."

Lily quickly wrapped her arms around him, burying her face into his arm. "I'm so scared, James. He's so scared." Tears were in her eyes.

"I know, Evans," James murmured.

Newt said, "I'm - I'm going to - to go and leave a note for - for Mm-m-Mr. Volsung t-to reach out to m-me when he's back in - in his office and I'll t-talk to him about the ch-charge against Remus. In the m-mean time, after I've d-done that, I'll go and take Mr. L-Lupin back to Iceland w-with me. The MInistry d-doesn't hold jurisdiction there and even if -if they c-could take him, they c-couldn't find Fallengunder if they tried. H-he will be safe there until w-we can figure out what to do."

"Thank you, Mr. Scamander," Lily said. 

Newt nodded, then he turned and hurried away down the hall.

James sighed and turned so his back was against the wall instead of his face and looked over at Frank, who was staring at the wall with a vacant, deep-thought kind of expression. "Frank?" he asked. Frank blinked and looked over. "How bad is it?" He nodded toward the door.

Frank took a deep breath. "Well. The official charge is attacking and threatening with an illegal beast, as well as suspected harboring."

"What is that, like... a fine..?"

"Well she didn't present any documentation of injury from Mungo's that I saw anyway, but if they find him guilty of harboring an illegal -- beast --" Frank made a face at this, "They could nip him for 6 to 18 months, I believe it is."

Lily's eyes widened. "Azkaban?"

"Yeah, they don't mess around with this stuff. Especially right now with all the shite Greyback's been pulling?"

James frowned. "Oh they cannot put Sirius in Azkaban. That would not be good. On so many levels."

"No, absolutely not. I would polyjuice and go myself before I'd let him go," Lily said with determination.

James looked at her, "Rather, I would go and you would stay with the dogs and --"

"Don't you dare, with the horrible flashbacks that would give you? I wouldn't dream of letting you --" 

"Letting me!" James snorted.

"Yes letting you!"

"As if you could stop me."

"I bloody well could stop you if I wanted to, you jackass."

"Right."

"I could!"

"Uh-huh."

"I could - Half the time you forgot your bloody wand anyway!"

James checked his hip at this and made sure before he said, "Not recently!"

Lily snorted.

"Oi, let's not fight," Frank said, throwing a peace sign. "Besides, I don't imagine you could polyjuice your way into Azkaban, we literally have 48-hour holds to avoid that being an issue. So unless one or both of you is secretly a metamorphmagus, there's no way either of you are getting into Azkaban without getting caught."

"And you can barely comprehend the terribleness of the repercussions of being caught trying to do so," came a deep voice from behind them and all three turned to see Mr. Underhill - James's old boss - sauntering toward them down the corridor carrying a banker box full of files.

James stood upright, uneasy as Underhill walked up and came to a stop beside their group.

 "Why are we discussing taking Polyjuice potion or transforming ourselves in order to go to Azkaban?" Underhill asked, glancing between the three of them.

Frank flushed, "We weren't really discussing it, it was a joke, sir..."

"Actually," James said, "I - We - could use your help, sir."

"Sir now is it?" Underhill chuckled. He smirked between the three, then turned specifically to James. 

Lily stepped forward. "Mr. Underhill? It's a pleasure to meet you, I've heard... a lot about you. I'm Lily Potter." She held out her hand to him - Frank scrambled forward and offered to hold the box, but instead Underhill shifted the box to his hip to balance it with one arm and shook her hand with the other.

"It is nice to meet you again, Mrs. Potter," Mr. Underhill said, "We met briefly at your wedding - oh, no don't look embarrassed, I am sure you shook a hundred hands that night. Your wedding was quite the event of the year.... Very beautiful. Congratulations."

Lily was flushed. "Thank you."

"So what is it that I can do for you?" he asked.

"A friend of ours was arrested and he's innocent but he's - he's having a bit of a breakdown and - he needs some help," Lily explained.

Underhill looked at the closed door to the holding room. "I see..." he looked Frank over then glanced back at the room again briefly. "I suppose Mad-Eye's in questioning your friend?"

"Yes, sir," Frank answered. 

"You might have met him at the wedding, sir," James spoke up finally. "Sirius Black? Best man slash, er - man of honor."

Underhill's eyebrows went up. "Sirius Black?" He jutted a thumb at the holding room. "Sirius Black is in there with Mad-Eye Moody?" He glanced back at the door yet again in interest, then turned back to James and the others.

"Yes sir." James paused. Then, "You're the only person here, at the Ministry, I mean, who could possibly get Sirius out of whatever trouble he's in."

Underhill stared impassively at James.

"You're the only person here that - that I think could go up against Mad-Eye and - and make him see reason."

"Yes, Sirius is completely innocent!" Lily said.

"I wouldn't use the term completely innocent," James said, "He's still missing some parts." He rolled his eyes and shook his head in exasperation, then turned to Mr. Underhill. "I know YOU could help him, sir."

Underhill stood, thinking, for a moment, studying James and gently rubbing his chin. "Alright..." he murmured, "Alright."

"You'll help us?" Frank asked hopefully.

Mr. Underhill looked directly at James, "I'll tell you what. Come with me. I want the full story - the full story, mind, and then ---" he paused, and a smile came over his face. "Then, you can name what you're asking for and I'll name my price."

Remus was staring at the warrant that Frank Longbottom left on the counter in the Potter's kitchen. He read it outloud, Dora Potter and Peter Pettigrew looking on with worried expressions.

"A WARRANT FOR THE ARREST OF ONE SIRIUS ORION BLACK, ON THIS 11th DAY OF MAY 1979 ON THE CHARGES OF THREATENING, PLANNING ENDANGERMENT, AND SUSPECTED HARBORING OF AN ILLEGAL HALF-BREED."

Remus's eyes scanned the long-winded explanation Frank had memorized to deliver and he felt his stomach churn terribly within himself.  It read precisely the same words that Frank had recited while arresting Sirius - with one very notable exception:

"An allegation has been made by one MS. HESTIA LEONARDS, that SIRIUS ORION BLACK did, while working on her property on 11 May, 1979, attack and threaten MS. HESTIA LEONARDS and three friends and threaten them with the promise of endangerment by releasing a werewolf upon her during the full moon. Three eye-witnesses have confirmed these claims and submitted their accounts as evidence against SIRIUS ORION BLACK. 

"SIRIUS ORION BLACK is thereby under arrest in the name of the MInistry for Magic, London, England, United Kingdom for the offense of threatening and planning the endangerment of four innocent women, and for the suspected harboring of an illegal half-breed species, namely one suspected unregistered werewolf REMUS JOHN LUPIN."

Remus paused here, inhaling sharply. His hands and voice shook as he read the remainder of the warrant.

"The reason for the arrest is for the purpose of a prompt and effective investigation to be carried out, including an interview at the Ministry Law Enforcement offices, where SIRIUS ORION BLACK is to be questioned and any action necessary will then be enacted to prevent further attack against the victims, and/or to remove the suspected illegal beast from the protection of one, SIRIUS ORION BLACK."

Remus looked up. "Somebody explain?" he asked, but only Peter and Dora were there at the house and neither of them looked like they knew much more than he did himself.

Dora was weeping and she had her hands up covering her mouth as he spoke, shaking her head.

Peter stammered out the story about Chase Volsung visiting the flat and how he'd taken up a seat at the bus stop across the road, watching the alley, watching the kitchen window that overlooked the park, waiting. He told Remus what he'd said to Mr. Volsung, about Remus having moved and Peter dug about in his pocket and found the business card again and handed it to Remus.

Remus stared at the words in pressed foil lettering on the card, running his thumb over the dimension of them. He felt cold and scared and he threw the card onto the counter alongside the warrant. "Endangering Evil... Illegal Beast..." he laughed and shook his head. "How very non-standard."

"They - they don't know you," Peter piped up.

Remus looked at him. "That's just it, isn't it? They don't have to know me to hate me." He didn't expect these words, so simply spoken, to hit him as hard as they did, but even as they came out of his mouth the emotion rose up in him and he crumpled a bit, his head bowing down and he stared at the words on the business card, all shiny and silver and he closed his eyes. "Why do they hate --" he couldn't finish and he simply stopped and his grip on the countertop tightened.

Dora frowned and crossed the room, Peter in tow, to hug Remus to her.

"They're idiots, the lot of 'em, they're idiots." She pulled Remus close and cupped his head with her hand. Gods how she wished Charlus were there she thought, because above all else that she knew, she knew her husband would be at the Ministry now, this very moment, advocating and setting things right. Although, she supposed, that was precisely what her son was now doing... and how like his father her son was... How proud his father would be of him.

"They have to be wrong, don't they? About what Sirius said? They have to be - he - he wouldn't --" But even as Remus muttered this stuff into Dora's arms, he realized that as much as he wanted to believe that Sirius wouldn't threaten someone by saying he would release a werewolf on them during the full moon... Sirius already had done it once before, hadn't he?

"So let me get this right..." Underhill was leaning back in the chair, staring at James across the desk, having listened to James recount the sequence of events in the order that Sirius had told him what happened, followed by the brief account of what Frank had told them Ms. Leonards said had happened, pointing out that Sirius did not attack, and that what Sirius said he said did not line up with Ms. Leonard's claims. "Now you want me to go corner Mad-Eye Moony somehow and order him  to release the guy that's being interrogated right now... who is literally upstairs singing rock songs in his face instead of answering questions?"

James bit his lip.

"And without any tangible evidence that what you're saying isn't utter bullshit?"

"You have my word," James said.

Underhill laughed, "The same word that said you'd stick with the auror training program?" 

James flushed. "Sir --"

"Further," Underhill said, and he was looking at a copy of the warrant now, reading it over, "The worst portion of the warrant, the part that could actually spell out more than just a heavy fine if he's found guilty of the charges, is this pesky little thing about harboring an illegal half-breed beast. The threatening and all that, that's easy enough to make go away..." 

James looked down.

"Mr. Potter, I'm going to need to know - right now, without any omissions or lies - is Mr. Black harboring an illegal half-breed beast?"

James took a deep breath. He looked up, met Mr. Underhill's eyes, and made a choice. "No, sir. He is not harboring an illegal half-breed beast." Then, "He is married to a human being... to a wizard... to a very good wizard, a very powerful, strong, funny, caring, respectful, gentle... kind man... who one day a month suffers the incredible pain and humiliation of the effects of lycanthropy, while locked away in a controlled environment, away from any access to others, under the supervision of three adult wizards, until the effects have completely worn off."

James paused, then continued:

"Effects which, by the by, the Ministry for Magic has an effective treatment in the form of a potion by the name of Wolfsbane, which has been held up in approval for mass production,. This potion allows those who suffer from lycanthropy to keep their minds entirely while under the influences of the full moon, thereby removing the endangerment at the source without the unfair treatment that registered werewolves are put through by the Ministry during their quarantine."

Mr. Underhill was leaned back and staring at James, his fingers peaked before his face, thinking.

"I see," he murmured. Then, "It sounds like the sort of thing that ought to be changed, doesn't it?"

"Sir?"

"The policies."

"Yes, sir."

Mr. Underhill studied James for a long moment, then leaned forward, "And you suppose that the verbal assault on Ms. Leonards was, in all likelihood, provoked by anti-werewolf hate speech?"

James nodded.

Mr. Underhill opened his desk drawer and took out a parchment. He waved his wand over it, then handed it to James, who looked down at it. It was the letter of resignation that James had handed to Underhill months ago.

Underhill met James's eyes.

"I will go upstairs and I will work the case for Sirius Black, in the process of which I will clear the name of your friend Remus Lupin from the records of the the entrapment office as well... but you, James, will return to working for me as my personal assistant here at the Ministry for Magic. You will complete the tasks that I give to you, and you will follow orders in the office and on the scene of various operations, and you will follow then the way that I give them to you in the timing that I give them to you."

James drew a deep breath. 

"What do you say, Potter," Mr. Underhill asked, "Do we have a deal?"