"And this hand - this hand right here - this very one - he took it and he pulled me to my feet and our eyes met and it was love at first sight... Tried to sweep me off my feet, he did, but I told him -- no, Freddie, we are but star-crossed lovers... I cannot be your tour-whore as I've a husband already, and he has a great ass. And Freddie Mercury, he said to me to make sure that Remus knows he must love me with all his heart and also to give his great ass a slap for him... Like this." 

Sirius turned and slapped Remus's ass as Remus walked past at that very moment in what had to be the greatest timing imaginable.

Remus ducked away. "You have got to stop doing that!" he said.

Sirius grinned.

Frank and Alice stared at Sirius for several long seconds, then turned to look at one another. Frank looked back to Sirius. "You're absolutely full of so much shit that it's coming out of your mouth and nose."

"Yeah bullocks!" cried Alice, shaking her head.

"Absolute bullocks!" Frank echoed.

Sirius grinned, "He really did say that, rather. And then he gave me that rose up there - the one on the mantel."

Alice looked over her shoulder at the single red rose that stood in a black vase on the fireplace mantel next to a frame that held the concert ticket and a photo of James, Lily, Remus, and Sirius at the concert, all waving ecstatically. She looked at Frank.

Frank shook his head, then, as Remus returned and took a seat next to Sirius on the couch, he said, "Oi, Lupin, what actually happened?" 

"I haven't the foggiest," Remus answered, "Sirius got separated from the rest of us and we were trying to find him in that crowd. Finally found him and he was raving on about all this. Every time he tells it, the story changes."

Sirius grinned, "Only slightly."

Remus ceded, "Some of the more unbelievable details do remain intact across broad variations, however, such as the hand touching and the ass slapping, but the tour-whore invitation appears to be an embellishment."

Frank eyed Sirius.

Sirius grinned. "What Freddie and I shared that night was too precious for words."

Alice shook her head, "Bullocks."

"Doesn't this make you insanely jealous, though, Lupin?" Frank asked, looking to Remus.

Remus shrugged, "He came home with me in the end, didn't he? Worst case scenario, I'm better than Freddie Mercury."

Alice doubled over with laughter and Frank choked on the mouthful of pumpkin juice he'd just taken in.

"Loads better," Sirius murmured, leaning over to kiss Remus's cheek.

"And how did you enjoy France, you lot?" Alice asked, swiveling in her seat to look at Lily and James, who were sharing one of the other chairs - James draped across Lily's lap, a Quality Quidditch Supplies catalog open on his lap as he flipped through, biting his tongue while concentrating.

Lily's voice was dreamy, "Oh it was so wonderful. It was like living a storybook. We saw so many wonderful things..."

"Or at least snogged in front of them," James input. He looked up and winked at Frank, who chuckled and raised his glass in appreciation.

Alice giggled. "You two are so grossly in love it's not even right."

"As though you're ones to talk!" James said. "Where is it that you're off to during the Spring break?"

Frank opened his mouth, but before he could get the words out, Sirius started singing. "Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl... with yellow feathers in her hair and dress cut down to there... she would merengue and do the chacha ad while she tried to be a star, Tony always tended bar, across the crowded floor they worked from eight til four... they were young and had each other... who could ask for moooore?"

Frank started singing along as an answer, "The copa - co - Copacabana... the hottest spot north of Havana..." He paused. "Rod Stewart is poor at geography. Rio is definitely south of Havana."

"I don't care if it's north, south, west, east, or on Mars," Alice announced, "I just want to lay on a chair by the ocean and get a tan. I am so, so tired of the snow and rain and tiresome weather. Honestly, what good is it having a free day in my class schedule with such awful weather and nothing to use my extra time on except studying?" 

"You're here aren't you?" Frank said, "I could've left you up there to while away the hours."

"Thank you for having mercy on me! The castle's such a bore without you all there! I can't wait to finally graduate so I don't have to be alone anymore! Goddddddddds."

James looked up from his catalog, "Well, if it's of any consolation, you may be seeing me up there pretty soon."

"What? Why?" Alice and Frank both looked at James in surprise.

"Well," James said, and he looked at Lily, who smiled, and announced, "I've volunteered to take on private Quidditch training with Oliver Kent."

Frank blinked in surprise. 

Sirius let out a holler of excitement, pumping the air with his fist as he leaped to his feet. "WHAT? WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN? WHY HAVEN'T YOU TOLD ME, YOU VICIOUS TROLLOP?"

"That's really cool!" Alice cried.

James grinned, "Wally wrote an owl asking if I knew any trainers that would take on the job for a minimal - or rather, non existent - fee and I volunteered. They don't know it's me that's going to do it yet, though, so don't tell them, I'd rather it be a surprise. I'll be going up to the next match after the break. Gryffindor playing Hufflepuff."

"Yes, it's an important game this year, too, with the Puffs in the lead for the Cup against Ravenclaw currently. Gryffindor could be second up if they beat the Puffs in this game, it'll knock Ravenclaw into Third and put Slytherin in dead last for once."

"Excellent." James grinned.

"You'd make a bleedin' good trainer," Remus said suddenly, his brows pinched as he thought about it, "I don't know why none of us ever thought of that for you before. It's quite an obvious career choice... rather more fitting than auror any day. I'm really glad you've gotten the opportunity."

"Thanks Rey," James said, appreciating the seriousness of Remus's assessment.

Remus nodded.

James waved the catalog, "So what do you think, for equipment, besides the obvious training posts and ball set, what else shall I be needing?"

"Get those self-beating bludgers for sure," Frank said, "My mum got me a pair and they really helped me training how to dodge them."

"I dunon why self-beating bludgers sounds quite dirty but they do," Sirius snickered.

"Everything sounds dirty to you, Padfoot," Remus said.

"They really do though," Frank agreed, snickering, too. He and Sirius high-fived and Sirius sat back down beside Remus as Alice hit Frank's shoulder in disapproval. 

"Good call, Frankie," James said and he quickly added the self-beating bludgers to his order form. "Hey, when I go up to the game you ought to come with me."

"Most definitely. I'll have to get the day off from the Prewetts but I reckon they'll be alright with it." He paused, then, "SHIT THE PREWETTS! Did you lot hear???"

"Hear what?!" Lily and Sirius both sat up so quickly that they both nearly knocked their significant others to the floor. James catalog fell and Remus's tea spilled over the edge of his cup and into the saucer. "Sorry," they both said at the same time, then, realizing they'd been speaking in unison for several sentences, they both looked at one another and said, "Jinx." Lily laughed and Sirius said, "Dammit! Stop saying everything I say, Lilith!"

"Dorcas Meadowes is pregnant."

James, who had been in the middle of reaching for his catalog, actually did fall at that and he scrambled to get up.

"WHAT?!" Lily and Sirius both yelled again and Sirius said, "SIRIUS-ly, Lilith!"

"Yup. Fabian came in wearing a t-shirt that said 'Congratulate me I'm Uncle Squared' and I said to him 'what's that mean' and he said that Gideon was going to be a father."

"Oh my stars!"

"Bleedin' hell, there's going to be a mini Gideon Prewett," Remus murmured, "The world's not ready."

"How many Weasley children does that make now, combined with the Prewetts?" James asked, thinking on it.

"About a hundred and seventy-four thousand and a half," Sirius said. "The half being the Dorcas's nugget, of course, since it's only just in the oven."

"Six, completely seriously," Alice said, "They've got Bill, Charlie, Percy, Fred, George, and now the Baby Who Shall Yet Be Named on the way."

"Bleedin' hell, that family --- there's too many of them," Sirius shook his head. "They're their own army."

"Could almost form a complete Quidditch team on their own," James said.

"Maybe they will before they're done," guffawed Sirius. "Bil and Fabian still get to add to the brood."

"I love the Weasleys so much," Lily said, "They're such a wonderful family. I hope ours is precisely like them one day," she added, looking at James.

Remus looked up so fast his neck cracked and Sirius looked over at him, running his fingers over the back of Remus's neck gently. "YOU aren't pregnant, right?"

"Hell no!" Lily cried, shaking her head. "No. No. No. Bite your tongue."

"Yeah, bite it and swallow it," James said, "For good measure."

"You don't want children?" Alice asked.

Frank looked at Alice at the tone of her voice.

"Oh, I do," Lily said, "We do." She looked at James. 

"Yeah, we do," he said, nodding, "And we'll get to making one about an hour and a half after You Know Who's cold in his grave."

"Why an hour and a half?" Remus asked.

"Well we'll have to attend at least some of the after party before we go shag," James answered and Sirius hooted, slapping his knee at this as Lily flushed, but didn't argue a bit.

"Reckon there will be fireworks at the party?" Sirius asked, laughing, "Great big ones."

"I'd set off a couple myself for that party," Frank laughed. "Shooting stars over Kent. Mum would be right pisser, though, she hates explosives... afraid they'd wreck her lawn." He chuckled. Then, to Sirius, "Speaking of, she needs a de-gnoming. You and Bil free next week? We'll pay you off the clock so you get the full due."

"You're on - I'll let Bilius know."

"Excellent." He gently motioned for Alice to hop up then, and stood himself, looking about, "Well, you lot, we've got to be off. I've still got to woo this one before I return her to Hogwarts." He spun Alice once and she laughed.

"Thanks for stoppin' by, Frankfurter," Sirius said as Remus got up to open the door for them.

"Thanks for havin' us," Frank answered.

"Oh any time, of course," Remus said.

"And it was great catching up - glad you lot are all back from France - we missed you. At least three of the four of you." He smirked at Sirius.

"You missed me most of all, you great jackass."

"He's still sore you don't believe his Freddie Mercury story," James said.

"Utter bullocks," Alice shook her head.

"I'm telling you," Sirius said, and he slapped Remus's arse again.

"Seriously, Padfoot!" Remus jumped at the spank.

Frank laughed and Alice danced out the door, trilling a sing-songy goodbye over her shoulder with a wave, and Frank watched her go, then turned back 'round, eyes meeting James's across the room. "And thank you for your help, my good man."

James nodded, "No problem at all. Good luck."

"Thanks," Frank answered.

"OI YOU COMING, LONGBOTTOM?" Alice's voice echoed from outside.

"Gonna need it," Frank added and he waved, then ducked out.

Sirius turned on James the second the door closed. "What was that?"

Lily was grinning.

James shrugged, shoving his hands in his pockets. "I might've helped with a small ickle thing while we were in France." He shook his head, "Not a big deal."

Siris looked at Lily.

"Oh it was a big deal," she affirmed, wagging her left ring finger.

James rolled the quidditch catalog and shoved it in his back jeans pocket.

That night, Remus had a terrible time falling asleep - why, he wasn't sure, it just wouldn't come to him so that he spent half the night tossing and turning. He didn't have nightmares, persay, but there were terrible anxious feelings that simply wouldn't leave him and he stared at the ceiling or else got up and paced in the living room, muttering to himself, unable to shake the funny feeling he had.

When he'd finally fallen to asleep, it'd been in one of the chairs in the living room, and he'd woken with a stuff neck and cracking knees so that he could barely move. "Ugh," he moaned as he sat up and rubbed the sleep from his eyes.

He could hear Sirius singing in the kitchen and smell cooking food.

Late enough for Sirius to be up? Remus twisted his wrist and looked at the time on his watch.

"Humping hippogriffs!" he shouted, and he got to his feet as quickly as his tired body would let him, hurrying to the corridor.

"Morning moonpie, you're awake!" Sirius called, popping into the hallway, wearing an apron left behind by LIly and holding a frying pan.

"YOU DIDN'T WAKE ME UP!" Remus accused as he rushed down the hall.

"So? You barely slept, I wasn't about to wake you up when you finally fell asleep."

"I HAVE CLASSES SIRIUS!" Remus ducked into the bedroom and started throwing on clothing haphazardly. "FUCK WHY IS EVERYTHING NEEDING A WASH?"

"I've been meaning to do it," Sirius said, standing in the doorway with the pan still sizzling the bacon on it.

Remus grabbed a random shirt from Sirius's side of the closet, tugging it on over his trousers, "I haven't time to do it now, I'll do it later, fuck - fuck - fuck - where's my briefcase?"

"Kitchen," Sirius answered and Remus ducked 'round him, rushing down the hallway.

Siris snickered, "You really wanna wear that to --"

"Can you do the wash today while you're home before you go de-gnoming with Bil?"

"Yeah, but Moon do you really want to --"

"Literally you've been off all week..."

"I'm not the only one capable of doing it, you know," Sirius said.

"I've done it the last six times, Sirius, you can do it once."

"Okay but I mean since I haven't yet it's not like casting a spell to wash is that difficult, I mean, it takes two seconds so you could've --"

"I'm not having this argument with you again, we've had it thrice already."

"I'm just saying it isn't my fault the wash isn't done."

"I'm not saying  it is, I just -- Fuck where is the briefcase?"

"Accio briefcase," Sirius answered and it came flying out from the chair where Remus had left it the day before. "But you should really consider changing to a different --"

"I haven't got time! I'll see you tonight, goodbye!" Remus rushed to the floo and threw the green powder and stepped through before Sirius could so much as speak again.

Sirius stood there holding the pan. "Well," he murmured, shrugging, "I suppose he'll learn a lesson to let me talk when I'm trying to say something if nothing else...." and he turned back to the kitchen, already forgetting about the wash, and started singing again as he cooked.

Peter came down the hall then, wiping his eyes blearily. "I heard shouting and smelled bacon."

"Remus was late for class," Sirius said.

"Oh." Peter sat down at the table.

"Bacon'll be ready in a second," Sirius added.

"Excellent," Peter said, pouring a glass of orange juice.

Sirius stood at the stove, waving his wand to flip the bacon, then turned back around.. "Remus just went to class wearing a t-shirt that says 'bugger me backwards' on it."

Peter choked.