Sirius lay on the bench, staring up at the stars overhead, one leg bent so his foot was on the arm rest and the other splayed out to the side. He was smoking his third or fourth cigarette, flicking the ashes off between draws and watching the smoke rise up into the sky. He could just barely see any stars through the wisps of cold clouds that moved by.

He could see the point of light that was Sirius - his star in the sky.

"Sirius."

He didn't stop staring at his star.

"Bloody hell it's freezing out here."

There was a quick flash of light - a patronus being sent as a message - and then the darkness reigned again.

Still, Sirius didn't move.

"Sirius?"

"How'd you find me?" he asked, drawing long and deep off his cigarette.

Remus walked up to the bench, standing over Sirius so he was looking down at him. "You made a list of places to look for Regulus."

"Oh. Right."

Remus rubbed his hands together and drew a deep breath. "Mind if I sit with you?"

"Depends."

"On?"

"Are you going to be a jerk?"

"No."

"Do you solemnly swear it?"

"I solemnly swear that I'm... not... up to no good."

"Very well." Sirius sat up just enough for Remus to sit down, then laid back down so his head was in Remus's lap and he continued looking up at the sky and smoking.

"I'm sorry I made this harder for you than it must already be," Remus said.

Sirius didn't answer.

"It's very hard sometimes to remember that not everyone thinks the same way that I do and that logic isn't always the best policy and that sometimes I need to keep my mouth shut and let others have their feelings and emotions and the lot and -- I know this is a terrible apology because I'm making excuses even as I try and make the apology. The bottom line is that I am awfully sorry for being a blighter toward you." He drew a deep breath.

"D'you really reckon that he's -- that I'm just in denial, Moony?" Sirius whispered.

Remus held Sirius's head gently. "Logic says that, yes."

Sirius flicked away some of the ash on his cigarette.

"He loved you so much, Sirius. I could see it in the way he looked at you... with so much pride and admiration."

"But a couple weeks doesn't erase a lifetime of hatred."

"It wasn't just a couple weeks, Sirius. He's looked at you like that for years. You just started seeing it recently."

Sirius's eyes pooled with tears. "Why weren't things different? There was so much stuff we ought to have gotten to share that we never did."

"I know... and I'm so sorry for everything that you lost with him."

Sirius put out his cigarette against the ground with one hand without looking down, keeping his eyes on the stars overhead, even as the clouds came in and slowly hid them. Remus stroked Sirius's hair, his fingers shaking slightly from cold. Finally, a few flakes of snow whispered down from the sky and Sirius said, "Do you think I'm dark, Moony?"

"No."

"Are you sure?"

"I've told you before - and I'll tell you again - you're like a fire, Sirius... a star. You burn bright. Don't let anything... even me, no - especially me... put you out."

Sirius said, "I actually half expected him to just... walk out while I was sitting here."

"Why didn't you just go in and check?" Remus asked.

"I reckon Mother would have reset the charms before she left in the Safe House with Regulus. It's probably done up as tight as Gringott's."

"You can at least see Gringott's."

"That's true."

Remus hesitated, then, "Sirius... It's really cold out here. Let's go back to the flat. You've got to be freezing, too. We'll warm up and we can talk more, okay? You can tell me about him... or we can not talk about him, we can do whatever you like."

"Alright, I suppose." Sirius sat up. "Amazing how different life can be one day to the next, 'ey?"

Remus nodded.

They got up and they stood there, shoulder to shoulder in the park, staring at the intersections of Numbers 11 and 13.

"I hope I never see that house again," Sirius muttered.

"I hope you never do either," Remus answered. He put his arm around Sirius's shoulders. "C'mon, love. Let's go home."

Sirius nodded.

The pair of them disapparated away from Grimmauld Place.

After receiving Remus's patronus saying that he'd found Sirius, Peter had stumbled to bed and James and Lily gone home for the night, promising to return in the morning and to let them know immediately if anything happened. "I'll make sure to," Peter said.

They disapparated to the very edge of the garden at the cottage and James opened the gate for Lily, who walked across the stepping stones to their front door for the first time. She noticed now that there was a Christmas wreath of berries and holly on the door, and Rodger was sitting in the window in the kitchen, staring out at them. It was new to her still, but also so thoroughly and completely home that she could not imagine living anywhere else ever before or ever again in her life.

James and Lily walked inside and he closed the door heavily behind them, standing right there after the locks clicked, his hand still on the knob, and rested his forehead against the wood.

Lily undid her jacket and hung it carefully in the little closet meant for such things. "James?" She turned around and saw him standing facing the closed door, and went over to him. "Honey." She reached 'round his shoulders and pulled his coat back, too, which he numbly shrugged off, and she hung next to hers in the closet. "Are you okay?"

"No."

Lily pulled him away from the door, turning him to face her and he pressed his face into her neck and wrapped his arms around her. She tangled her fingers in his hair and held him tight.

"I can't believe it."

Lily's fingers absently moved through the strands at the base of his neck.

"I feel --"

She closed her eyes... and she could feel it, too, without meaning to, but the tension and fear, guilt and heartbreak filled her up like a tsunami of emotion.

He'd been protective over Regulus and Sirius both - like the eldest brother in a trio of them - or perhaps even like a father over his sons.

Something ached deep within her, knowing that.

"I should've done better protecting him."

"You did everything, James. We all did. You Know Who is the only one to blame. If he is, in fact, gone. But I still don't fully buy it," Lily said.

"Can you feel him now?"

Lily shook her head.

"Oughtn't you be able to?"

"Not particularly... I don't think. I think I only feel strong, unguarded emotions? I'm still learning, too."

James's face was still pressed into her shoulder. He lifted up his head suddenly. "Evans."

"Potter?"

"Occaminamin--"

"What?"

"Occalemon? --Lemanist? Occa... occ -" he struggled.

Lily was trying to figure out what he was trying to say. Whatever it was, it was making him quite excited.

"Occamen?"

Lily shook her head, completely confused.

"His mind - he can guard it. Against like Sniiii-verus." He caught the name at the last second.

"Occlumency?"

"Yes!"

"He's an occlumencer!"

"Yes! That! That's the word!"

"Oh my stars. James, that's why I can't feel him. He put up his guard around V-- You Know Who."

They stared at one another.

"But wait, this could go either way. It could be that I don't feel him anymore because he put it up and still has it up, or it could be I don't feel him anymore because he had it up when he was killed."

"Can you still occamate when you're in the act of dying?"

"Well the avada would be so quick --" Lily pointed out.

"True," James said, thinking hard. "But you know...  It's so uncharacteristic of You Know Who to just make his kill. Especially when somebody's really gone and taken the piss out of him. Like me. When he took me, he played a good deal before he ever intended to kill me."

"Maybe he learned his lesson when Sirius put a daisy chain about his neck as a swarm of ducks filled the entire room."

James grinned, "Damn, I still can't believe I missed that."

"You would've loved it if you'd been conscious."

"But see, that's what I mean. He kept me how long laying around having the fun of torturing me every bleedin' day... and I hadn't betrayed him. I mean, I defied him sure, but I didn't betray him."

"Betrayal is the absolute worst thing that can be done," Lily nodded.

"So of course he wouldn't want to make it quick."

"Of course."

"He wouldn't want us to go looking for him, because last time... well, last time you lot got me out. So he's hedging himself. That's why the fake body."

"But how?"

"Maybe he transfigured somebody?"

"He wouldn't have forgotten the Dark Mark."

James pursed his lips, "That's right. He wouldn't have. Blast. I thought that might be it."

Lily bit her lip, thinking, searching her mind.

"I need to see it."

"What?"

"The body. I need to see it myself."

"Well how are you going to do that? It's not like you can just walk into the Ministry and ask for a viewing."

"I can't - but Frank could."

Lily looked at the clock.

It was nearly midnight. "In the morning?"

"Now. Way less people to talk if we're seen." James drew his wand and with a flick, the patronus had bloomed from his wand, bright and brilliantly glowing. The beautiful white stag stood, staring at him with an expectant expression. "Go to Frank Longbottom and tell him to meet me at the courtyard at Westminster in fifteen minutes. Tell him to wear his uniform."

The stag nodded, then cantered away, bursting into smoke as it disappeared through the wall.

Lily looked up at James. "You can do that without speaking the spell now."

"Yeah."

"Oh my stars... you're so hot, Mr. Potter," she whispered.

James grinned, his lip getting hung up on his tooth. "Yeah?"

"Yes."

She had her hands pressed on his chest, looking up at him.

"You're damn fine yourself, Mrs. Potter," he whispered.

Their noses bumped.

"Obviously our honeymoon's going to end up postponed with all this mire going on... Are you okay with a raincheck?"

"Considering everything, I think a rain check is in order, yes."

"I promise I'll make it up to you... slowly..." his voice lowered suggestively.

"Or quickly. Over and over... Multiple times..."

"Anyway you like it, Lily," he murmured, their lips touching, brushing against each other, not quite kissing but only a press away.

Lily's eyes were closed.

James hands slid onto her cheeks, his palms on either side of her face, and she could feel his ring, the physical representation of the vow he had given and taken. She melted into him, and their lips finally met completely as she pressed forward, and they kissed, his fingers folding to stroke her cheeks.

When they broke apart, he stared into her eyes. "Do you want to come, or are you going to stay here?" he asked.

"I'll stay here," she answered. "I - I want to work on magique amor. I think it's really important. And this is showing me it's even more important than ever."

He searched her eyes. "Be careful, please, okay? Please."

She nodded, "I will. You be careful, too, James."

"I will."

He stepped back, and ran for the stairs. "Wait, where are you going?" she asked, confused.

He stopped halfway up and turned 'round to face her. "I still have my auror uni upstairs. I was going to bring that and the cloak. Just in case."

"Right! That's a good idea."

He turned to go up just as Rodger shot up the steps as well, nearly tripping him as he rushed, and he stumbled up the second half to the hallway above.

The courtyard at Westminster was quiet, empty. A covered stone passageway made for the perfect dark meeting place. Frank apparated there, and glanced at his watch. It had been fourteen minutes since James Potter's patronus had appeared in his bedroom back home.

There was a crack and James appeared, precisely fifteen minutes had just ticked off when he did.

"This better be damn important, Potter, or I'll kick your arse," Frank muttered. His hair was mussed and his uniform jacket unbuttoned. "Alice and I were in the middle of... unwrapping presents."

James nodded solemnly. "I wouldn't have bothered you if it wasn't. It's Regulus Black."

Frank looked concerned, "What of him?"

"He may or may not have been killed by You Know Who."

Frank's face paled and his eyes widened. "But he was just at the wedding, just last night. I saw him not even twelve hours ago."

"I know..."

"Was there a fight? I didn't get any patronus until yours came!"

"No, no. Someone said the name in front of him, and the Mark activated. A body was brought to the Ministry this morning. Sirius came to see it and says --" James dropped his voice. "He says it's not Regulus. I need to see it myself."

Frank nodded, catching on.  He started buttoning his uniform up. "Alright. Yeah. Let's go."

"And Frank?"

"Yeah?"

"Top secret, this is."

"Of course."