Regulus stared at a fixed point on the blanket that covered his lap. His hands were balled into the fabric, the words echoing again and again and again in his head.

He would have been better off if --
He would have been better off if --
He would have been better off if --
He would have been better off if --

Surely his heartbeat would sound like those words if the mediwitch came back and took a listen to it now.

Oni stepped closer. "Regulus," she spoke softly, voice trembling, "I am so sorry, I --"

"Leave."

His voice was flat, no emotion in it, just noise that came from his mouth.

"But Regulus --"

"Leave," Regulus repeated.

"-- I just have been so worried about you, and when my Uncle said --"

"I SAID LEAVE!!!!!" Regulus yelled.

"Please, I --"

"He said leave." James stood up.

Lily looked up at James, remembering a time so long ago that he had so valiantly done this very same thing for her. Her heart swelled up and James crossed the room, opened the door, and waited for Oni to step through. "If he wishes to hear from you, he will reach out by owl. Please have a good day."

Oni stared in surprise.

"You heard my husband," Lily said, standing up. "Good bye."

Oni looked at Regulus, but he stayed staring at the spot on the blanket, and Peter looked down at his wringing hands nervously, and finally Oni burst into tears and walked from the room.

James closed the door behind her. He looked across the room at Lily.

Lily sat back down, her expression one of absolute sadness. She closed her eyes and tears slipped across her cheeks. "Regulus," she said quietly, "Why didn't you just come home to us sooner? Why didn't you come home?"

Regulus felt his heart shattering inside him.

He would have been better off if --
He would have been better off if --
He would have been better off if --
He would have been better off if --

He was quiet a long moment, then he said, "He would have been better off if I really had died."

"No, sweetheart," Lily said, shaking her head. She could feel how much he believed it sinking to her very soul. "No. He would have been better off if you told us the truth from the beginning, but never if you'd died. Never that."

James said, "He's angry, and hurt - really hurt. Honestly, I'm hurt, too. And I'm hurt for him, and so is Remus..."

"And me," Peter said.

Lily's lip trembled. She was hurt for Sirius, too, but she couldn't voice it, her words were completely gone. She felt torn in pieces, like the barbarian death sentence of being tied to four horses, the emotions were pulling at her heart in every direction. She felt stretched thin.

James looked at her with worry lingering in his eyes.

Regulus whispered, "I'm sorry. I don't know what I was doing, what I am doing..." He kept his eyes very carefully on the spot on the blanket.

The mediwitch came back in then, and she said, "They've got your sample exposed to aconite and moonstone, so we'll have the final-final results in the morning, but seeing as there was no transformation under the full moon, we're confident our results were accurate and this is more for peace of mind." She smiled, and touched her wand to Regulus's wrist, holding it up again as she mused about readings being added onto her chart by magic.

"Are you in any pain?" The mediwitch asked Regulus.

"Loads," he murmured.

"FRANK THE DOOR!"

"I HEAR THE DOOR MUM!"

"ARE YOU GETTING THE DOOR FRANK?"

"NO I JUST HEAR IT AND JUST DON'T ANSWER IT FOR FUN MUM!"

"FRANK WILL YOU PLEASE --"

"I AM GETTING IT MUM!!!"

The door swung open. Frank leaned against the frame. "Hullo."

Sirius was on the step looking wary, like he regretted coming to the Longbottoms. "Hullo," he answered.

Frank studied Sirius a moment. "You look like shit."

"I feel like shit. Can I watch the Muppets with you and your mum?"

Frank laughed. "Well, you could except it's Tuesday and they're on break at the mo' so even if it was Thursday, they still wouldn't be on 'til the Fall."

Sirius stared at Frank. "Oh. Alright." He nodded and staggered backward. "Alright. Sorry Frank. Tell your mum sorry, too." He turned and went off down the steps toward the roadway.

"MUM GOING OUT BE BACK!" Yelled Frank. He grabbed his jacket. Mrs. Longbottom yelled from inside, but Frank was already out and closing the door and rushing up behind Sirius, who was cursing at the gate that was stuck. "Oi, don't abuse our gate."

"Sorry," Sirius said.

Frank undid the gate, and held it open. "So, where shall we go?"

"What?"

"You, my friend, need some tea and sympathy -- or, better yet, a beer an' an ear."

"Beer an' an ear?" Sirius repeated.

"Yeah, I've only just made it up - clever isn't it?"

"Yeah," Sirius admitted.

"C'mon," Frank waved for Sirius to follow. He chucked his arm 'round his shoulders and stuck out his wand arm.

There was a loud bang and the monstrosity that was the Knight Bus appeared in all of it's violently purple glory. Frank pushed Sirius on board, greeted Ernie and dropped the fare into the bin.

"BUCKLE UP FOR DA BUMPY RIIIIDE!" shouted the little head hanging from Ernie's rearview.

"Yessir!" Frank answered and guided Sirius toward a pair of large easy chairs.

The bus took off with such force they were thrown back in the chairs and Sirius's popped into its recliner position, flinging his feet up in the air.

Remus got home to find Sirius hadn't gone back to the flat. He sighed and went outside and sat on the steps overlooking the alley and leaned against the wall of the building, feet pressed flat to the bannister and stared up at the waning moon, hugging his arms about his chest. He closed his eyes, worrying about Sirius.

There was a sound on the steps and he opened them and looked to see the man from the curry shop downstairs standing at the end of the steps looking sheepish.

Remus sat up, dropping his feet to the steps and staring down at the man.

"Is the young man alright?" he asked with a thick accent.

Remus said, "He will be."

"Good. Very good."

Remus asked, "Why didn't you tell us you're a wizard?"

"To protect my family, my little girl. You remember her, yes? Same birthday as your friend. November 3. Laddu."

"Laddu," Remus remembered, nodding. "And your niece? Onied?"

"Onied is very scared," the man answered. He frowned, "She's very scared."

"Of what?"

The man looked sad. "She's been through a lot."

"Well she sort of messed a lot of things up tonight... I mean, everything landed where it probably would have ended up anyway, even without her help at it, but maybe there could've been some peace for a time first at least..." Remus shook his head.

"Whatever she do, I know she did not mean it," the man answered, waving his palms. He sounded worried, and apologetic. "She is not always thinking rightly."

Remus raised his brow.

"Her family was killed in Egypt. Whole family. Parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins. We're the only bit of what's left. She come here to live with me and go to Hogwarts."

"Her whole family?"

"Whole family... Dark wizards, this is why we move to London, away from Cairo, to sever ties. But she needed a place to stay and she was young."

"How long ago?" Remus asked, "I don't remember her being at Hogwarts... we've only been out a year."

"Well she spend some time in Mungo's being healed first, then she come home and when she has been well enough for Dumbledore to accept her, she has gone to school at last."

Remus said, "Mungo's?"

"Janus Thickey," the man replied. "She suffered great spell damages. Same as what killed her family. Lots of memory damages. She forgets things. Misplaces things. She has facial recognition impairment. We were all very surprised when she wrote home about a boy who was her friend. The young man," he gestured at the apartment.

Remus shifted uncomfortably.

"She was very worried when he went missing. When she saw him again, she was very worried he would go missing again. She has been looking out for him very carefully. She is very scared."

Remus nodded. "I think we all are scared about everything these days."

"Yes, yes," the man answered. "I think so too. This is why we did not tell each other secrets, you and I."

"Yeah, I suppose."

The man nodded, then, "I am sorry my niece has caused you trouble."

"I'm sorry she's had so much trouble," Remus replied.

In the end, the mediwitch decided to keep Regulus 'til morning, but promised he would be out of the hospital before lunch. It was a terrible strain on Lily, but James talked her into going home for a couple hours once Regulus had fallen asleep again, given more pain medication. James kept pestering her about feeling Sirius and she said she thought Remus must have caught him up as there was a bit of emotional silence. They didn't reckon they needed to go to the flat just yet - given they'd been up at Mungo's for two days and Roger probably was starving half to death, they decided to go home. Lily all but fell into the bed when they finally got up stairs, leaving Roger to his can of food in the kitchen.

James fell into the bed opposite her so their heads were even, but coming from different sides. He was on his stomach, she was on her back. He looked over at her and smiled. She smiled back, sleepily.

"Hey Evans?"

"James?"

"I love you."

Lily hesitated, looked at him, and he grinned back at her.

"I have a headache, James."

"Alright first of all, how original!" James chided.

Lily laughed.

"Second off, I wasn't saying it for that purpose. I just wanted you to know you're loved... so, so very much."

Lily smiled, "You are so loved, too, Mr. Potter."

He smiled and closed his eyes.

"James?"

"Evans?" He asked without opening his eyes.

"What are we going to do?"

"About Sirius and Regulus?"

"Yeah."

"I don't know." He paused, then, "I can't betray Sirius."

"I know."

"I don't want to let Regulus down."

"Me either."

"I wonder what he's been up to?" James asked.

"Do you think he's been all alone wherever he's been?" Lily asked.

"He's got Kreacher, I would imagine."

"He must be scared."

"Yes," James answered. "But he could've come home..."

"Yeah."

There was silence between them, and James was about to start drifting off, when Lily suddenly gasped so incredibly loudly that she woke him and she say up and she looked at him with wildly panicked eyes. "Oh my gods. James - oh my stars, I just realized...oh no, oh no, no!"

"What?" he asked, rolling to his side to look at her.

Lily sat up, pulling her knees beneath her and staring at him. "James. I am so sorry, it's just with everything happening I - I forgot."

"Forgot what?"

"Your birthday! You idiot! It's your birthday!"

"Today is?"

"Yes! Oh my stars. James. Did you forget your own birthday?"

"No I just didn't realize it was today. I keep thinking it's Sunday."

"Oh my stars I am such a horrible wife."

"Nah, you're a brilliant wife.... a bit of a disappointing party planner, but hey if you'd planned a party it seems none of us would've shown up." He laughed. Then, "You didn't, right? Like. Frank, Bil, and the lot of them aren't hanging about down at the Den or something right?"

Lily laughed, "I certainly hope not."

James flushed. "Guest of honor doesn't even show up."

"Because he forgot his own birthday."

"Seriously though," James said. "There were more important things going on. Now we can celebrate it some other time, when we know it won't be commercialized." He laughed.

"I feel awful," Lily said.

James rolled onto his back laughing. Then, between wheezes, "Does this mean there's no presents?"

Lily thought for moment, then crawled closer and leaned directly over him. "I may have a present... or two..." She bent forward, reached for the hem of his shirt, tugging it up and over his head and tossing it aside. She crawled around and straddled his torso. "Happy Birthday, Mr. Potter."

James grinned. "I think I know what my present is."

Lily mused, sliding her palms across his chest. "Do you?"

James nodded.

"And is it what you wanted?"

"I always want you."

"Oh? Funny. I always want you, too."

She slid down the length of him until she was kneeling on the floor before him, and he closed his eyes as she reached out for his belt and began unbuckling him. James bit his lower lip, watching her, feeling his heart rate quicken, his breath catching... and Lily's eyes never did leave his.

Regulus woke during the night... and at first he thought it was Sirius or James asleep in the chair beside his bee.... But when his eyes focused better, he realized it was Severus Snape.