It was like moving underwater.

A dream.

That heady sort of dream where you know you're dreaming because you're hovering more than running and you glide along through space like you're two feet off the ground.

Memory.

'This will be BURNED into your memory.' Achlys promised. 'I won't LET YOU FORGET.'

It was dark, there were kids on the streets, kids in costumes.

Sirius was running through a crowd of them, bumping into kids dressed as Darth Vadar and Luke Skywalker, dressed as Chewbacca and Yoda. Kids dressed as Princesses, Spies, Ghosts, and Pirates.... There were no witches and wizards, though. These kids didn't have to play pretend at that. It wasn't a costume to them. It was everyday life.

Such was Halloween in Godric's Hollow.

Sirius ran, dizzy, bumping off kids like a pinball hitting all the strike zones.

"Hey watch it," a kid dressed as a Quidditch referee snapped.

Sirius laughed at the irony. A referee. Telling him to watch it. It was funny. He laughed as he stumbled away.

"No... no... no stop... stop..."

He broke free of the main quarry of the downtown square, running past the Lion's Den and up the road, past the market, and into the darker areas outside of the village, where there were high trees that lined the streets and tall grasses. Stone walls that broke the fields from the road way and the cobblestones were less closely tended for. He passed the big church on the right and the graveyard with it's wrought iron gate and the low stone wall.

He came to a stop.

He could smell it. He could smell the explosion, the smoke fogged up the streets.

"No... stop it, stop it!"

He shouldn't be able to see the house.

"Pl-pl-please -- I - I said - I -"

'You know what you're going to find in there,' Achlys whispered.

"I know - I know, my fault, I know it, I know it --"

'You know what he did... You know what you did.'

"No," he whispered and the air was cold enough that the word hung in front of his mouth, a silvery puff of cloud.

"I know, I know, I know..."

'What was the last thing James Potter said to you? Do you remember, Sirius?"

"Go away, go away, go away..."

"Sirius."

His heart stopped in his throat when he felt a touch on his shoulder.

When he opened his eyes, he was still on the floor in the Shrieking Shack. Remus was holding him from behind, his chest against Sirius's back, his hands on Sirius's shoulders, gripping him tightly.

He could barely breathe. His chest was full of dementor. It was black and heavy and filling him up and he was going to burst. It was going to make him explode all over. He panted desperately. "Pleeeeease," he begged. "Please."

His mind echoed the words James last said to him - words he could only half comprehend, words he couldn't put words to for all the weight they held in his chest and he felt like Achlys was choking him with them.

'He was always protecting you, wasn't he? Always making your problems go away, always making you feel better, getting you out of trouble, always saving you from everything....'

"My fault, my fault..."

"Tell her to fuck off, Sirius."

Where were you when James Potter needed you? Where were you?

"Achlys is wrong. It's NOT your fault."

"I did it... I... me..."

"No," Remus whispered heavily. "No, you didn't. You didn't know."

You should have known.

"You couldn't have known."

You should've been a better friend.

"You did what you thought was for the best. That's all any of us could do. That's all any of us can ever do."

"I - I they'd still be --" here if I had been a better friend. "They --" would've gotten to see Harry. "I killled --" my best friend. "James --" is dead because of me.

"James would not hold you to blame. And if he would not, then no one else should." Remus's voice was deep, low, rumbling in Sirius's ear, a vibration, and he held him close against his chest. It was a motion that Sirius hadn't felt in so... so... so long... "Lily would not hold you to blame."

'He's wrong. Don't listen to him. Who was there for you for the last twelve years in Azkaban? Him or me?'

"Achlys has no right. She speaks lies to you, Sirius."

Fuck off Achlys, fuck off, fuck off, fuck off!

"She speaks lies."

Sirius was shaking his head. Fuck off, fuck off --

"Listen to me." Remus said forcefully.

And something in Sirius broke. Like a bubble popping. Suddenly, it was like - like she'd been turned off. Like she was momentarily gone, like dark clouds had moved aside.

"Listen to me and not to her."

Sirius drew a deep breath. He nodded.

Remus stood up, his hands slipping off Sirius's shoulder.

"Enough of this," Remus said. Sirius could hear him walking just behind him, talking to the kids. "You're right Harry. We're talking in circles and riddles and it's time to finish this off - for all our sakes. Ron. Give me the rat."

"No!"

"Ron," Harry's voice was the quiet persuasive tone that James often had used with him, Sirius, in the past.

He's all that's left of James. This is your chance - your one shot. Take care of Harry. For James. To make it up for James. You have to take care of Harry.

"If I do - If I do, what are you going to do to Scabbers?"

Sirius slowly stood up, turning around and looked at Harry intently. Harry had to be his focus now. He had to be strong for Harry. He had to. James would've done it for him. How many times had James been ready to fall apart and yet pulled himself together and focused on Sirius, on getting his friend through? Endless.

Now he could do it for Harry.

He had to do it for Harry.

"We will force Peter to reveal himself by magic. If Scabbers really is a rat, Ron, the spell will not hurt him, and Sirius and I will go with you up to the castle and accept whatever fate my come to us.... I swear on James's honor, which is an awful lot to swear on."

There was a pause.

"Go on, give him over, Ron," Harry said.

Ron's hands shook and tears fell across his freckled face as he held out his rat. Remus reached out and took hold on Scabbers - much more gently than Sirius would've done if it had been him. The rat started twisting and squeaking without stopping ,his body writhing in air, his tiny black eyes bulging in panic.

Remus looked at Sirius. He withdrew Sirius's wand from his belt and handed it to Sirius, who took it, rubbing the back of his hand over the tracks of tears that stained his face. Remus took his own wand and held it tight in his fist. Sirius felt his eyes burning still with tears.

"Ready, Sirius?" said Remus.

"Together?" Sirius murmured.

"I think so," said Remus, holding the rat tightly, arm extended outward before him, their target swinging by his thick, fleshy tail. "On the count of three. One --"

The rat shrieked and screamed.

"-- two --"

Harry, Ron and Hermione held their breath.

Remus's hand released the rat and as he tumbled to the ground, he and Sirius both aimed their wands.

"-- THREE!"

A flash of blue-white light erupted from both wands. For a moment, the rat was frozen in midair, small grey form twisting... turning... madly... growing... exploding! Ron yelled in panic. The rat fell, he hit the floor, his body slamming into the wood and dust and then - a blinding flash of light and -- he was shooting upward, his snout sucking back into his face, his eyes popping large as his head grew into them, his teeth still a bit bucky, the whiskers shooting up into his face. Wild grey hair tufted up on top of his head, turning more pale-blonde than grey as it grew. Legs - not too long, but certainly longer than a rat's grew from the back, and the front came down into arms as the spine cracked into place one vertebrae at a time... and within seconds, instead of a twitchy, watery-eyed rat, there was a crouching, watery-eyed man, cringing and wringing his hands.

Rodger Crookshanks was on his feet, spitting angry, hissing, claws out, tail puffed wide as could be.

"Well hello Peter," Remus said pleasantly. "Long time no see."

Peter twisted jerkily, awkwardly, his body unused to being in the form of a human and his legs gave out so he stayed on his knees in the dust. His eyes darted to the door, then travelled from one face to the other, taking in their faces more clearly than he'd been able to as a rat, ascertaining the situation, taking in each one of them, analyzing their body language, the distance between himself and the door, and the proximity of the people gathered around him in relationship to himself and the door.

Peter shivered.

"S-Sirius... R-Remus... M-my - My friends!" he stammered. His voice was rough from disuse, raspy, and a bit squeaky, reminiscent of the rat that he'd been for twelve years. "M-My old - my old friends!"

Sirius raised his wand but Remus's hand struck out and caught Sirius about the wrist in a reflexive move, stilling his motion. "Sirius. No." Sirius's nose flared with disapproval and frustration, but he lowered his hand as Remus directed him to.

Remus's voice was steady and calm, as though having an everyday conversation. "We've been having a -- a little chat, Peter, I don't know if you were listening or not. We were just talking about the night Lily and James died. You might've missed the finer points while you were squeaking around down there --"

"Remus!" Peter gasped, and he fell forward at Remus's feet, grabbing onto Remus's knees as though he were a beggar. He stared up at Remus's face. "P-Please, you - you don't believe him do you? Do - do you? He - he tried to kill me, Remus. Just like he always threatened he would do!"

"So we've heard." Remus's voice was even, but suddenly cold. "I'd like to clear up one or two little matters with you, if you'd be so kind --"

Peter's hand shook and he pointed with his middle finger at Sirius - his middle finger because the index one was gone. "HE CAME TO KILL ME REMUS! He's here n-now to try at it again! P-please! Please! You know how he is, how he's always hated me! How many times d-did he threaten me at school? How many times have you h-heard him threaten me?" Peter spoke frantically.

"How many times did you deserve it?" growled Sirius.

Remus held up a hand to stop Sirius moving forward.

"He - he k-killed Lily and - and James! N-now he wants to k-kill m-me too! Please Remus, you've got t-to to help me! Please!!!"

"Peter --" started Remus, and he held back Sirius yet again. "NO ONE is going to try to kill ANYONE until we've all sorted out a few things!" Remus shouted diplomatically.

Sirius glowered with fathomless eyes.

"S-sorted things out?" Peter's eyes swung about the room wildly, pausing once again, calculating distances between boarded up windows and the only door. He looked back at Remus. "I - I knew he would come for me! I've been living in terror! For t-t-twelve years! Twelve y-y-years Remus! You don't know wh-what that's like!"

"You knew Sirius would break out of Azkaban?" Remus asked with a scoff and a raised eyebrow. "When it has literally never been done before?"

"He - he - he is Sirius after all!" Peter stammered.

Remus laughed at this. "Well, I will give you that much Peter. You do have a point there."

"Y-yes I- I do!" Peter said, bolstered by this, not getting the sarcasm in Remus's tone. "He's got d-d-dark powers we - the rest of us c-can only dream of!"

"Dreaming of me and my dark powers seems like a you-problem, Wormtail," hissed Sirius.

"How else did - did he get out of there?! You Know Who must've taught him a few tricks!"

Sirius's barking laugh broke through, until he'd filled the whole room with the sound of it's mirthlessness and Hermione turned and hid her face in Ron's shoulder. "VOLDEMORT! TEACH ME TRICKS? Like a DOG?"

Peter cringed and covered his head as though expecting something terrible to happen.

He remembered all too well when Regulus Black disappeared from their breakfast table Christmas morning.

"What's a matter? Scared to hear your old master's name?" hissed Sirius cruelly.

"Don't know what - what you - you mean!"

Sirius grinned, eyes flashing. "I heard things in Azkaban, Peter. They all talk, you know. They talked about you. About you and how they think you set him up - set up Voldemort, that is, that they think you tricked him, that you meant for him to die when he was at the Potters, that you knew somehow that trying to kill James and Lily would finish him off, and that you did it on purpose... Like the double-crosser double-crossed them!"

Peter paled.

"Ohhh and they are not happy with you, Peter," Sirius spat. "If any of my dear cousins found out you were still alive -- well, you wouldn't be much longer!" Sirius laughed. "They're out there just biding their time, all those old supporters of his. No... Wormtail... you weren't hiding from me. I was the least of your worries, wasn't I? You were hiding from them."

Peter was sweating now and he wiped his face on his sleeve, his whole body trembling with nervousness. "You - you don't b-b-believe this madness, do you, Remus? He's m-m-mad! Just look at him!"

Remus looked, then turned back to Peter. "If you were innocent and so scared, Peter, why didn't you come to me for help?"

"TO HELP SAVE ME FROM YOUR OWN HUSBAND?"

There was a ringing silence.