(A special thank you to @vigilant3sh1t for keeping track for me.)

James had barely left before Lily had gotten her books and settled on one of the barstools in the kitchen. She'd stared out the window for a moment, and taken one of Dora's cookies from the plate that had magically re-filled itself (how many times had it refilled that day while James Potter had been eating them half the morning? she wondered, and she made a mental note to get this recipe from Dora next time they went to Hogsmeade to visit her.)

She took a deep breath, thinking of Sirius...

Lily could smell the train exhaust, could hear the murmur of dozens of people scrambling to stow bags and get seats in good compartments. She could feel the velvet bench fabric under her legs, against the backs of her knees as she sat in her uniform skirt and knee-high white stockings. She could feel the vibration of the engine.

She could feel the stare of James Potter on her. "Are you alright?" he'd asked, and his eyes had been concerned even then.

She could feel the answer rising in her throat, how her stomach had knotted up at the kindness being shown her by the first person who had talked to her since she'd boarded the train.

If he hadn't told her not to, Lily could have fallen into memories of James right then, staring into his eleven year old eyes and falling through years of memories of him and the times he'd cared for her when she least expected it...

But, true to life, Sirius Black barged in instead.

"Can I sit in here?"

"Sure. I'm James."

"I'm Sirius."

"About what?"

It was the first time she'd ever heard the joke.

Lily's heart beat fast and she was in the stairwell from the docks, headed up to the Great Hall and there was the pressing of everyone against her, jostling. "My name is Minerva McGonagall, and I'm here to bring you all into the Sorting Ceremony..."

She was watching as little eleven year old Sirius Black had walked up the short steps to the plinth where the little stool sat and for the first time he looked nervous as the hat slid over his head. He'd been all big talk about the sorting ceremony on the Hogwarts Express, all loud and boisterous, so full of what had appeared to be confidence, but there he was as the brim fell onto his forehead, unsure and actually looking a wee bit terrified. At least until the hat made it's choice.

"GRYFFINDOR!"

And suddenly it was her, Lily, getting up from the stool on the plinth and walking down the steps toward the Gryffindor table. Sirus was grinning at her the whole way. "Gryffindor! All right!" and he shuffled down to make space next to him for her... and it was funny because she didn't notce the hurt expression on his face then when she didn't sit directly next to him on the bench, nor had she noticed then that he'd held up his hand for a high-five that was not reciprocated by her. But she noticed now and her heart ached, wanting to scream at her eleven year old self to turnabout and give the poor boy the affection he'd never had growing up.

"Look at Snivelly with his girlfriend!"

Severus's face turned red. "Shut your mouth, Black!" he growled. For the first time, she saw the cold, dead stare of anger and hatred in Severus's eyes from a whole new perspective and a chill went down her spine that even at eleven years old he could look like that.

"Ooh, you gonna take that Sirius?" James laughed from the sidelines.

"Sorry, Sev. I'll let you get back to snogging with her, then."

And suddenly Severus Snape was running at Sirius, wand drawn while Sirius's back was turned. "Oh! Severus - don't!"

"Oi! Sirius!"

"FIGHT!!!!!!!!"

And then she was talking to Slughorn and James and Sirius were on the stairs like a couple of baffoons, Sirius crooning, "We may not be together, we may be far apart... but you'll never be too far away from my broken heart... I'll see you in the bubbles of the potions in my cauldron... and in the full moon when the werewolf is howlin'! No matter how long we've been apart, you'll forever be in my memory! And I'll see your face every time I look into my penseive!"

"You're an absolute idiot," Lily said. She was walking down a long corridor, side by side with Sirius, and he was matching her stride step for step and grinning, enjoying annoying her.

Then it was Sirius and James crowded around James's telescope next to her in Astronomy class. She was biting her lip, working hard at iguring out how to move the scope with the coordinates Professor Zosma had given them, and James and Sirius were giggling like hyenas - a sound that she grew quite fond of these days but that, at the time, had driven her positively mad. "I see Uranus, Sirius," James said and Sirius laughed so hard that he snorted.

"Really!" Lily said in indignation.

"Really," James snickered.

"That isn't how it's actually pronounced you know," she said haughtily, "If you were paying attention you would know it was Yooor-uh-nus not your-anus."

Sirius doubled over at this. "She said it. She said it. I swear, we'll corrupt you one day, Lily Evans. Mark my words."

"You'll never corrupt me, Sirius Black!"

Then they were in the common room, laying in front of the fire, and Lily was standing over the pair of them as they looked up at her from the midst of an absolute sea of parchments. "What are you doing?" she demanded. "I can see you're up to no good, I'm not stupid."

"You're too much of a goody-goody for this," Sirius said.

"I'm not a goody-goody," Lily argued.

"You are. One look and you'll probably run off and tell McGonagall on us," James accused.

"You keep your nose out of our business!" Sirius added.

"So you are up to no good," Lily said.

James looked at Sirius but Sirius stayed staring directly into Lily's eyes...

"Lily, you've got to swear that you won't tell anybody."

They were standing in an empty classroom on one of the lower floor and his eyes were staring right into hers. "My mother isn't going to be proud of me no matter what I do... She utterly hates me now I've gone and been sorted Gryffindor instead of Slytherin and I'm friends with muggleborns. Like you."

"We're friends?"

"Aren't we?"

"I s'pose so."

"I think we are. Especially now. Plus you're friends with Remus Lupin, and any friend of Remus's is a friend of mine." He smiled a bit awkwardly.

"Does she hurt you, Sirius?"

"I'm fine. I can take it."

He'd opened the door and was on his way out int othe corridor when Lily stopped him. "Sirius."

"Oi?" He turned around.

"If you ever need to - you know - talk about... anything at all, really... I'll have an open ear for you."

"Thanks, Evans."

Suddenly she was sitting at the Gryffindor table with the Marauders, having just been defended from a nasty fight with Severus Snape about whether Petunia's opinion mattered or not, and Sirius was leaning across, nudging her. "Hey - Evans - if you're sared about your family deserting you, you don't have to be. We're sort of a family, the lot of us, aren't we? And we aren't going anywhere."

Then they were in an empty classroom, late for Transfiguration, and Lily was staring up at Sirius. "I want to talk about your brother, Regulus."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "You're making me miss Transfiguration for that little tosser? I don't want to talk about him... Oh bloody hell, please tell me you don't have a crush on my brother or something! Please!"

"No, I don't! It's you that I --"

"Please don't have a crush on me, either, Evans," Sirius said quickly.

"I need to talk to you about siblings!"

"I'm hardly an expert at siblings," Sirius answered.

"Yes, and I need to know how you deal with that... emotionally, I mean." She looked up at him pleadingly, right into his eyes again. "There's got to be a - a trick to it, and you seem to know it - and - Sirius, please."

"Honestly, I'm not... not really an expert at that either. The dealing with it, I mean."

"But you seem alright, you seem --"

"I seem, Evans," Sirius said. "I seem alright about a lot of things. I seem alright about Reg and about my parents and about every other shoddy thing that goes on in my life."

But he wasn't. She could feel it even now, even just watching the memory in her mind, the intensity of his stare said volumes about it, and he wasn't fine. He wasn't alright. He was broken, breaking more and more every moment, cracks spreading through him like spider's webs or veins, spreading all over him. "If I thought on it, I'd go mad..." There was a long stream of explanation, a lot of words and broken sentences, his voice cracked as much as his spirit, and the confession of confessions ended with a grand flourish, "That's it! that's the whole secret to Sirius Black!" After a long pause, "Please, say something."

She'd rushed forward and enveloped him in a hug. He'd gone stiff, as though he'd never been hugged before. It took a ridiculous amount of time, and the poor boy looked quite traumatized, but he finally went limp in her arms and he gingerly brought his hands up to her back and squeezed her in return just the tiniest bit.

"Ah, now you're getting the hang of it," she said.

"I'm not sure I like it," he said stiffly.

"You do," Lily assured him.

And did he ever. From that time on, it seemed Sirius Black never had his hands to himself again. He was always hanging on top of people with his arms about everyone's shoulders or his head in their lap, his body tangled around James or Remus or herself or whoever else he happened to be around. There were piggy backs from James, his legs tied about James's waist, and there were long sessions of cuddling as friends.

"Please Evans. Hold me before I fall to pieces." The words echoed and she could almost feel him sinking into her arms in fifth year... a melted, broken boy... a fluffy, warm, black dog with loads of hair and energy...

"Sirius! Sirius come back here! Ugh, I really should have put him on a leash..."

The dog was running far ahead of her, disappearing over a dune in the sand.

"WAIT - MY SHOE! EXPENSIVE ITALIAN LOAFER THAT IS!" Vernon Dursley echoed like a voiceover on a film screen as the fluffy black dog ran, ran, ran, carrying the shoe. Lifted his leg on an expensive Italian leather loafer.

"What did you do?"

"I took a wee in his loafer."

"You didn't."

"Yeah. Let him almost catch me, almost get the shoe back, then I dropped it on the rock and peed all over it."

"Sirius Black, you horrid, foul thing."

"I mean loafers on a beach... honestly!"

Then her mother's voice rang through and Lily couldn't help but laugh, "No more attacking your sister with magical dogs."

"She made it pee in Vernon's loafers!" Petunia shrieked, and Lily could still feel the flush rising up in her cheeks.

"It was just a regular dog," Sirius said.

"THAT MANGY OLD DOG WAS PROBABLY YOU IN DISGUISE! IT WAS FILTHY ENOUGH!"

They sat in silence for several long moments, then Sirius said, "What do you call a walrus in a phone booth?" He grinned, eyes twinkling. "Stuck."

Lily missed the sound of her mum's laugh - and Sirius had made her laugh such a lot on that trip... And she could remember the dinners and Sirius's look of amusement as he told her about him accusing Vernon Dursley of hitting on him in their shared room.

"The fat hypocrite," Sirius was saying - they were on swings, Lily pumping her legs and Sirius magicking the swing to go because his legs weren't made for pumping, "I hope they try at fucking in the sand again and I hope a great crab comes up from the sand and --" he motioned a crab claw snapping, "Right in his balls, if he's got any."

Lily choked. "Sirius Orion Black!"

Sirius grinned. "Lilian Porche Evans!"

"That's not my name," she said and Sirius's eyes twinkled.

Suddenly her mind was filled of a collage of Sirius's face, rapid fire, as he uttered her name over and over again...

"Kimberly."

"Veronica."

"Lilith Barbara!"

"Lilith Absynth."

"Lillith Jennifer... Jones... Willomena..."

"Lilith Juniper Evans."

"Susan.... Iris... Dorcas..."

"Lilith Wallalallaingbang!"

"Miranda... Samantha..."

"Lilith Jillian Evans!"

"Lilith Erin... Lilith Jemima... Lilith Gertrude!"

"Lillian Kimberly Evans."

"Lilith-Marie, Lilian Katherine, Lilith Anastatia Kumquat."

"Spilly Jam Sevens."

"Lilith Janet... Lilith Judith... Lilith Joplin..."

"Lily Faking Sleep Evans."

"Lilipad."

"Lilith Jumpsuit Evans!"

"Lilith JOYKILL Evans!"

"Lilith Eugene."

"Oi, Peaches."

"That's not my name, Citrus Orange Block."

"Ohhhh, good one Evans!"

And suddenly she was in the boys' dormitory and they were all laughing so hard that their stomachs hurt and Frank Longbottom was in the room, yelling at them to be quiet. "She's one of them," he was saying, shaking his head.

"Oh deer, you've broken my hart, Evans."

And there was an explosion of ducks, ducks, ducks flying in every single direction. Voldemort staggering, flowers on his head, petals falling over his face as the crown slipped over his brow before he had time to respond to the strike. "NICE DAISY CHAIN, MOLDY! Ah Voldemort! But you do ever so quack me up darling!"

Voldemort's wand spurted forth a duck and Sirius laughed heartily, "What's a'matter? Is your wand ducked up?"

Sirius was grinning, "I do wish I could take your photograph to remember this by later, darling, but I just simply do not have the time. You see, we're in the midst of making an escape." And Sirius Black was blowing a kiss... blowing a kiss to the Dark Lord...

And he was singing the Beegees fighting Death Eaters, and falling through the wall in the Shack, legs flailing about... dancing... dancing on the train...

"C'mon and do the locomotion with me..."

"Jeremiah was a bullfrog... was a good friend of mine..."

"BEAUTY SCHOOL DROP OUTTTTTTT...." Sirius flung himself  before Lily, sashaying backwards. "Missed your midterms and flunked shampoo... Well at least you could have taken the time to wash and clean your clothes up, after spending all that dough to have the doctor fix your nose up!" Sirius was pirouetting down the street of London after their visit to the cinema and Lily was laughing. "That whole sequence was bloody brilliant, Evans... the whole film was. I loved the costumes and the hair and JOHN. FUCKING. TRAVOLTA. Can I marry that fucking glorious hunk'a'hunk'a---"

"You'll have to get in line I'm afraid," Lily laughed, and she took his hand. "Hold my hand, Sirius."

"Okay, but you have to answer to Remus when he gets jealous and asks me where my hand has been."

"Like he'd even notice."

"He'll smell you all over me, darling."

And suddenly she could smell the salt breeze and the smell of oranges.

"You clean up well," he said, smiling.

"Hopefully you do, too, 'cause right now you look like rubbish and I rather doubt you want to get married wearing your ratty old Deep Purple t-shirt. Aren't you more into Queen now, anyway?"

"Married?"

"Yes, married, you goose."

And Remus Lupin was helping him onto a unicorn and they were holding each other and laughing, dancing, in love -- beautiful and so.. completely... there for each other...

"Brilliant wolf, he is," Sirius's voice echoed.

"Your brilliant wolf," Lily agreed.

Sirius was holding aloft a glass of firewhiskey. "You, Lilith -- you, too, are one of my very best friends, and I owe you my whole world... which is precisely what I'm giving you." He waved his palm at James. "Take good care of him."

"I will," Lily nodded, then added, "But you've got to promise to take care of him on Tuesdays and Bank Holidays for me, too."

Sirius laughed... and it was suddenly years ago, and he was laying on a couch, grinning at her, James asleep, laying across Sirius's lap, his face buried unconsciously into Sirius's thigh. "Ohhhhh I LIVE for Tuesdays and Bank Holidays!" Sirius groaned.

Lily laughed so hard she snorted.

And she actually did. She really laughed so hard she snorted, sitting right there in the kitchen at the cottage in Godric's Hollow, her magique amor texts laying all about her, her wrist sore from writing complex runes.

"There's a time for everything - a time for laughter and a time for tears, and love is woven throughout all these things, for love created everything, and everything was created to love and for love," Lily read the runes aloud. "Love is needed by the man who laughs and the man who cries equally."

She smiled.

"Well if that's not perfectly Sirius Black. I don't reckon I know what is," she murmured.

She sat there, staring at the runes, at the books, her mind still sifting through all the memories and flashes and feelings and emotions that were Sirius Black's lasting impressions on her heart...

And suddenly, she let out a scream, clutching her forearm and falling to the floor.