"I bet there's rich folks eatin' in a faaancy dinin' car! They're probably drinkin' coffee and smokin' big cigaaaaars... Well I know I had it comin', I know I can't be free... but those people keep a-movin' and that's what tooorrrtures meeeee..."

Mad-Eye Moody had had enough.  Gideon and Fabian Prewett stood just a bit behind Mad-Eye, shaking their heads and marveling at Sirius's tenacity. It was something to be admired, Gideon thought sadly, that the boy was able to keep up the singing despite every tactic that Mad-Eye had tried to get him to talk. And blimey he'd run the gauntlet. He had slammed around the holding room, banged on the table, clunked his foot, spoken gently, bellowed, threatened, promised, made offers, and generally done everything a bloke could do to try and get the blithering idiot that was Sirius Black to talk and yet --

"Well if theyyyy freed me from this prison if that raaaailroad train was mine... I bet I'd move it on a little farther down the liiiine ... far from Folsom Prison, tha'ts where I want to staaaay and let that lonesome whistle... bloooow my bluuuues awayyyyyy..."

"BLACK YOU'LL STOP SINGING RIGHT NOW OR I'LL ---"

The door burst open and in walked Mr. Underhill. 

Moody turned about, lowering his wand, and stared at Mr. Underhill. 

At the sight of Underhill - even Sirius Black went silent.

"By jove, he's stopped!" Gideon said in surprise.

"Free Bird!" cried Fabian, clapping.

Mad-Eye and Underhill both turned and glowered so hard that they both shut up and looked quite abashed.

Underhill stood in the doorway for a moment, then said, "Your old questioning techniques failing you, are they, Mad-Eye?" 

Gideon and Fabian shared a look. Everyone in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement knew there was a strange relationship between Mad-Eye Moody and Mr. Underhill. The pair of them had been nemeses for as long as anyone could remember, and when Moody had been given the position of Head of the Department, Underhill had been up for it, too, and the Minister for Magic had crated a special new title just for Underhill to appease the amount of competition that had built up in the Department over the two of them. The only thing that really made Moody more powerful was the fact that he was Albus Dumbledore's man through and through and had the pull of the headmaster as a back-up card to play in times when he needed to get that extra step ahead of Underhill.

Underhill, however, had a particular knack for patience that Mad-Eye had never possessed. And it was this patience that gave him an "under upper-hand" as he often worded it.

This was one of those times that his under upper-hand would come in handy. 

Underhill cleared his throat and Mad-Eye turned about to look at the other man. "Go and play at having another evacuation drill, Moody," Underhill said, "I'll take care of this from here."

"It was my man that's brought him in - Longbottom," Moody grunted, I'll book him just fine without your help."

Underhill glanced at the Prewetts, who were leaning against the wall, arms crossed and watching with amusement. "Seems you've got back up."

"They let themselves in to observe."

"Yeah we're observing," nodded Gideon.

"Loads of observing going on here," Fabian agreed.

Underhill said, "Well you pair can observe elsewhere." He nodded to the door.

Gideon and Fabian glanced at Moody and he nodded at the door as well. "I observe we're unwanted here," Fabian said.

On the way out, Gideon paused and leaned down by Sirius, "Keep up the good work. One day, your name will be in lights --" he waved his arm as though pointing to a marquee, then winked at Sirius and followed his brother out the door as Underhill cleared his throat again.

Moody and Underhill both stood there a moment, one on either side of Sirius, and stared at one another. "Go on, Mad-Eye. We both know you don't have the time for this. You've got them threats coming in from the Giants to deal with and all - don't need this one wasting your precious time performing the Top 100." 

Moody grumbled, hating that Underhill was right - there were bigger cases, more important cases, that he, as head of the department, ought to be doing. He grumbled and glared at Sirius, then stumped his way to the door and departed.

Silence fell over the room, and Sirius sat there, hands still cuffed behind his back, staring resolutely at the floor, though his expression had changed now and he wasn't singing.

"Well, isn't this already an improvement," Underhill murmured, and he went around behind Sirius's chair, pushed it in a bit more so he was closer to the table, then went around and sat on the opposite side. He leaned back in his chair, studied Sirius a moment, then reached into his robes and pulled out a cigar, which Gideon Prewett had given him just a couple hours before. "Do you mind?" he asked, holding up the cigar. Sirius didn't answer. Underhill took his wand, lit the cigar, and stuck it in between his teeth. The smoke plumed up from the beast of a thing and he puffed it a few times before holding it between his fingers and said, "I've never much cared for the taste of these things but -- que sera sera." He took another drag. "Do you know that song?" He paused, when Sirius still didn't answer, he said, "I get it, you're not a jukebox. You don't take requests." He nodded. "Entirely respectable."

Sirius stared at the table top.

"I have an interesting story for you," Mr. Underhill said. "You see, I was on my way to drop off a load of old case files for storage and I happened to come down this very corridor on my way to Mad-Eye's office and who do I spot but an old intern of mine. I believe you know him." 

Sirius looked up.

"James Potter cut me a very fine deal... Seems if I can manage to get you off - which, believe it or not, is actually going to be a lot easier for us both if you would just talk instead of shrieking like a banshee kicked off the BBC - if I can get you off, Mr. Potter has agreed to come back and work for me." Underhill smiled. 

"Like hell he is!" Sirius snapped.

"Hey! You speak! Good boy."

Sirius stared at Underhill, unsure how to take the dog-like praise.

"And, well, it's too late, Mr. Black, you see, James Potter's already made the agreement and is filling out the paperwork this very moment... It's quite refreshing having an office assistant again. I'm rather relieved, too, my files were getting to be a right mess again and if there's one thing your mate is good at - it's filing cases. Could use a bit of work with the alphabetizing... Mutters the full alphabet from A to Zed every time he's trying at figuring out whether S comes after Q or not, but never mind - minor annoyances..." Underhill paused. "Point is, I'm rather pleased with my latest acquisition and I'd like to be able to keep him." He smiled. "That's where you come in."

Sirius's mouth was a tightly pursed in annoyance.

"I mean, unless you want to go to Azkaban. If it's Azkaban you want, I can book you a room. Perhaps you'll be next to dear mummy. Who knows - there are an awful lot of Blacks that have lived and died in Azkaban over the centuries... Stunning family bloodline you've got." Underhill smiled. "I assume you don't wish to visit them?"

Sirius stared shook his head.

"Good. Then you are fully committed to helping me at ensuring James Potter's career in the Ministry starts out on the right foot, then, huh?"

"I'm committed to not going to that bloody cesspool that you people call a prison."

"Well not all wizarding prisons can be a five star resort like Numengard!" Underhill smirked. Then, "You're committed to not going there, are you? It certainly doesn't seem it... Singing Queen instead of just telling Mad-Eye what actually happened on Ms. Leonards lenai this afternoon? Doesn't sound very committed to me. I mean - unless you mean committed to St. Mungo's floor for the curably insane?"

Sirius snorted and looked away.

"Was that a laugh, Mr. Black?" Underhill paused, took another few puffs of his cigar, and said, "So what'd she say that pissed you off so much you were willing to chuck your husband to the Ministry?"

Sirius looked up. "What did you say?"

"Yeah. Remus Lupin, yeah? Werewolf Extraordinaire!"

Sirius's eyes widened.

"The werewolf quarantine chambers aren't exactly five-star resorts, either." Underhill studied his cigar.

"Leave him out of this," Sirius growled. 

"I would love to except he's already in the middle of it, isn't he? With you being as mouthy as you are..." Underhill shook his head.

"That horrible hag was talking shit about werewolves and she doesn't know nothin' about them!" Sirius snapped, his face turning red. "She was just - sitting there having her fucking little party with her fucking little friends and they were eating their fucking tiny sandwiches and sipping their fucking bloody and she's suddenly sitting there gossiping about Remus as though he's nothing - as though he's fodder to entertain her bloody bridge club!" He was shaking with just as much anger as he had that very morning. "She said he deserved to die, just because he was a werewolf!" 

Underhill puffed his cigar, staring nonchalantly at Sirius.

"It isn't FAIR the way the Ministry treats them, it isn't fair - and she was going on about how ruddy horrible they are... I'll bet she's never even met a real one before. I'll bet Remus was the first one and she's on about how they should all be killed. Well, Remus doesn't deserve to be talked about like that behind his bloody back!"

Underhill lowered his cigar, studied it a moment, then put it back in his mouth. 

"So I told her so. I told her she was a right bitch and that she didn't know anything about werewolves - about who they are and what it's like loving one. I called her a racist fucking piglet and a beastly hag - right to her fucking ugly pinched up face. So she slapped me right across my face as hard as her fucking hand could hit me." 

Underhill raised an eyebrow. "She slapped you?"

"And then I told her I hoped she got bit just so she would feel what it's like to be told she was worthless all her life for something she couldn't even help... so she would know what it was like to be judged like she was judging my Moony."

Underhill lowered the cigar and stared at Sirius for a long moment. "See," he said, "Now was that so hard Sirius?"

Sirius looked up at Underhill.

"That's all I wanted to know." He stood up, putting out the cigar and waving his wand to magic it away.

"That's it?" Sirius asked.

"That's it." Underhill went to the door. "You'll be moved downstairs in a bit."

"Moved downstairs?"

"Yes, you get to annoy a whole bunch of aurors for the next 48 hours. Sweet dreams." He stepped out into the hall and the door slammed shut.

James, Lily,  and Frank were waiting just outside. Lily was absolutely fuming mad - her face was red and she glared at Mr. Underhill, her nostrils flared.

"Well?" James asked.

Underhill answered, "I expect you to work next Monday morning. Eight AM. Sharp. You remember how to get to my office?"

"Is Sirius free to go then?" James asked.

"He should be off the 48 hour hold for you to take home with you after your first shift," Mr. Underhill nodded.

"Forty-eight hour hold!" Lily cried, "But what for!" 

"I have to submit the paperwork, don't I? It's after hours now and Saturday tomorrow. Nothing moves on a weekend 'round here. It'll get processed Monday morning and he'll be off. I figured, it being such a tight timeline, the priority would be to call off the search on your werewolf."

Frank looked down, as though willing to pretend he didn't hear the words.

James grit his teeth. "But he's innocent, you've just --"

"He's still got to have a hearing, but yes I reckon he didn't do anything that the allegations say and that's what my paperwork will reflect to get him out of here - he'll be excused after the 48 hour hold and sent to house arrest until he trial, which I'll push to have held sooner than later, and by then I'll have done all I need to do to be prepared and he'll be let off. Just like you asked me to do."

Lily asked, "Can we see him at least?"

Underhill nodded, "Yeah. On Monday. Now, if you please, the lot of you are on Ministry property after hours and I'll have to ask you all to leave." He paused, "Not you, Frank. Just them." 

James looked toward the door. "Sir, I --"

"You've called enough favors today, Mr. Potter. Have a good night and I will see to it that Mr. Black gets the best cell we have for his 48 hours. I will see you Monday."