"Sirius?"

There was a hand on his shoulder.

"Sirius!"

The voice was but a whisper, persistent but hushed. The hand shook Sirius's shoulder and Sirius groaned in protest to waking up.

"Please, mate..."

Sirius opened his eyes ever so slightly, the slits minuscule and blocked by his lashes.

James Potter stood over him, face tear-stained and blotchy.

Sirius was up in a second. "Prongs?"

James wiped his face with a palm, his mouth opening and closing helplessly, no words coming out.

Sirius bent over and grabbed his pyjama pants from the floor, shimmied them on beneath the covers, and got up, grabbing hold of James and tugging him from the room, leaving Remus Lupin alone in their bed. He closed the door behind them and flicked his wand over the hallway to create a silencing charm so the sound of his and James's voices wouldn't carry and wake up their mates.

"Prongs, what's the matter?"

James was in the living room, he was pacing, shaking, tears streaming down his face again... Sirius stood for a moment, then crossed the room and grabbed hold of his mate and pulled him into a hug, holding him tight as he could possibly make his grip. He could feel the tension in James's body and it had nothing to do with love magic, there was just so bloody must emotion coming out of the boy that Sirius knew there was no way to not feel it.

"James?"

"Sirius, it's Regulus."

"What?" Sirius stared at James.

"Regulus is at Mungo's and he's really --"

"Regulus is dead." Sirius's voice was cold, hard, and all the softness and compassion that had been in his face seconds before were instantly gone.

"Sirius, I know what you said before, but -"

"No. James. It is the end of fucking March. It has been three months. I buried him. He is dead."

"Sirius --"

"No."

"Greyback practically ripped his arm off him, Sirius, and the mediwitches are having trouble healing it because the werewolf venom is just strong enough so close to the full moon that his skin is resisting their spellwork."

"I DON'T CARE!" Sirius bellowed. His voice shook. "I don't give a flying fuck what happened to him! He chose to let me think he was dead for three months! He chose the Dark Lord over ME! His own brother. What am I supposed to do? Drop everything and run to cater to the little sodcake's needs every time he fucks up?!"

"Yes that's exactly what you are supposed to do, Sirius, he is your brother!"

"You're my only brother."

"He is your BLOOD brother."

"Hey we did the thing back in second year, remember? We share blood too."

"SIRIUS ORION BLACK YOU WILL COME TO MUNGOS AND YOU WILL SEE YOUR BROTHER OR -- OR --" James stammered, furious, then spat, "-- OR I WILL TELL MUM AND LILY ON YOU!"

Sirius stared at James.

A long moment passed, then both boys laughed in spite of themselves.

"Did you just threaten to - to tell on me?" Sirius demanded, "Like we're children? And to your mum and your wife?"

"I wasn't sure which of them you'd be more afraid of."

"Oh definitely Evans."

"Sirius? For real, though, all kidding aside. Please come to Mungo's. If for nothing else, we need you to sign paperwork and that muck. And he needs you."

"If he needed me, he would've been here the last three months."

"Just come."

Sirius sighed, shaking his head. "Ferfuckssake, I at least need a cigarette first."

James nodded. "I wouldn't mind one myself."

"Where is Lily?" Sirius asked, grabbing his leather jacket and swinging it on.

"You think I could pry her away from him? She took the Knight Bus for him, Sirius."

Sirius raised an eyebrow as he opened the flat door and stepped outside, pulling the pack of cigarettes out of his pocket. "She did?"

"Yeah."

"She hates the Knight Bus."

"Yeah. But she loves your brother."

Sirius shook his head and handed a cigarette to James before lighting one himself. He stuck his in his mouth, holding it between his teeth loosely. James, as usual, took one drag and held his between his fingers, watching it burn.

"I know you think I'm being stupid and selfish and whatever but I honestly don't think I can go to Mungo's." Sirius's voice was level.

James's jaw tightened.

"Just his name makes Achlys shriek at me, James. I feel like I'm about to be torn apart at the sinews." Sirius looked over at him, and shook his head.

"He could die."

"He already has."

"He hasn't."

"He has." Sirius's voice was final.

"He came back, Sirius," James said, "Isn't that what you wanted? If he came back, you said you'd be there."

"If he stays back, I will. But he has to... to prove himself, I guess."

"How is he supposed to prove himself if you won't give him a chance to?"

Sirius's smoky breath rose up towards the sky. "I dunno, but I can't just go to Mungo's to see him without knowing he isn't going to be healed and just go running back again. I mean, how can you trust him? Every time I fall for it, he betrays us and --"

"He hasn't betrayed us, Sirius!"

"He has!"

"When?!"

"He has!" Sirius snapped.

"He appeared in the dead of night, half eaten by Greyback, laying on my dining room floor, all but bleeding out," James said. "He obviously isn't loyal to You Know Who - they were hunting him down."

Sirius stared at the cigarette in James's fingers, the tip of it bright orange and burning, the wind spilling the ashes down like dust.

"He really doesn't have the mark anymore," James added.

Sirius looked up at James. "What?"

"It looks like he burned it off. There's all kinds of damages to his skin there... Sirius, the wound where it was? It - it looked like he set himself on fire and just let it burn."

Sirius looked rather sickened by the thought of it, which was honestly the reaction James was going for. Perhaps if Sirius knew what Regulus had done to separate himself from Voldemort - maybe then Sirius would see that Regulus hadn't betrayed them. He had been running for his life.

James took another drag. He stood upright, put out the cigarette, aimed, and tossed the butt into the rubbish bin below.

Sirius tried to do the same and missed, cursed, and accioed the butt back to try again. This happened twice before he gave up and flicked his wand to send the butt where it belonged.

James said, "Please come."

Sirius shook his head. "Let me know if he gets any worse and I'll think about it. But for now --" Sirius shook his head.

James sighed. "I'm rather pissed off at you for this."

"I know."

"But I'm also kind of proud of you."

"Why?" Sirius asked, "Have I won the most gigantic asshole in the world award? Is there a cash prize this year? Cuz there hasn't been during my previous years reigning and I really feel I deserve some sort of recognition. It's a hard job being such a gigantic asshole, after all." Sirius leaned against the bannister, staring into the garbage bin below, feeling rather like he deserved to pitch himself head long into it.

Sirius wasn't sure why he was being a gigantic asshole. It just felt important somehow.

"No, Sirius. I don't think you're a gigantic asshole. I think you're finally learning to value yourself a bit. You know something is unhealthy for you, you set your boundaries, and you're sticking to it," James replied. "And it hurts me because Regulus is my friend, too, and I honestly think Lily thinks she's his surrogate mum by the way she talks about him, which makes me some sort of father figure or something, I guess, but - You come first to me, and I'm happy to see you coming first for yourself for once." James patted Sirius on the back. "Just -- maybe avoid our place until we sort out what to do with him, if you don't want to see him."

Sirius was quiet.

"I'm not choosing him over you, either, incase that's what you're thinking." James added, eyeing Sirius.

Sirius shook his head, "He needs people who believe in him." Sirius studied his fingernails. "That's not me. I'm bad at believing in others."

"Untrue."

"True," Sirius replied. Then he met James's eyes. "You're just one of the like three people on the planet I do believe in."

James smiled. "I think you're better at it than you think you are." He took a deep breath, "Alright, I've got to get to Mungo's before Lily sends out the Ministry looking for us. I told her I'd only be a few minutes getting you."

Sirius nodded.

James started down the stairs and was walking down the alley to the main road when Sirius shouted, "Prongs?"

"Padfoot?"

"Tell the little blighter that I hope he doesn't really die, alright?"

"Yeah, Sirius. I'll tell him you love him."

Sirius nodded and pulled out another cigarette. James had got a few more steps away, and Sirius yelled, "OI! Potter!"

"Yeah?"

"Bring the TV back here tomorrow - I'm not missing the Muppets because of that fucking toadstool."

"I'll bring it by."

"Don't forget."

"I won't."

(He did.)

Lily sat in Regulus's room at St. Mungo's, right beside his bedside, holding the hand on his good side, and watching him breathe. She could feel the pain in her arm, and had her eyes closed, actively trying to take on more of Regulus's hurt to alleviate his suffering.

He hadn't woken yet, he was pale and still and Lily hated how young he looked.

She laid her head against his chest and stared up at his chin. From this angle, he didn't look as different as he did face-on. She wondered if he could change back? Obviously his hair had been severed off - like Sirius's had been done that time. But it could grow back one day... She worried about his face, his nose, his eyes...

The door opened and his mediwitch came in. Lily looked up. "We've just finished examining his blood and he hasn't contracted lycanthropy, but he may like his streaks a bit on the rarer side and experience some of the more physical symptoms during full moon weeks from now on..." she gave a half smile. "But there won't be any changing. Just keep an eye on the moon influences and you'll know how to treat each month's moon cycle."

"Influences?" Lily asked, confused.

The mediwitch pulled a pamphlet from her robe. "Here you are."

Lily took it. A very old fashioned looking pamphlet indeed, it featured cartoonish drawings that looked like muggle art from the 1940s or 50s. The garish colors of pale teal and pastel pink spoke of the 50s too, and Lily wondered why these hasn't been updated in decades. The information inside spoke about how the full moon cycles often controlled various body parts and organs, giving examples of symptoms related to each month's moons which could be expected to be more severe than other months due to the moon's position relative to gravity.

Lily had a flash of Remus muttering something about the unfairness of the moon in February giving him low blood sugar and -- she looked at the pamphlet for February moons: Influences the pancreas, small intestine, and digestive track. 

Oh bloody hell. So the one month that he had to eat or his blood sugar would drop was the one month that his digestive system went on the blitz. That couldn't possibly end well. She remembered how he'd flushed and changed the subject.

Her eyes ran down the list quickly, her heart aching for Remus Lupin.

January- Heart, blood pressure, blood circulation. 

February - Pancreas, small intestine, digestive tract. 

March - Kidney, urinary/bladder, veins, skin.

April - Genitals, Prostate.

May - Hips, thighs, pelvis.

June - Heart, aorta, blood pressure/circulation

July - Back bone, joints, knees, skin. 

August - Calf, ankle, shin, achilles tendon. 

September - Feet, toes, pineal gland.

October - Head, teeth, tongue

November - Neck, vocal cords, throat, thyroid

December - Shoulders, arms, hands, bronchial tubes, lungs

How had she never noticed this before in Remus? Why hadn't he ever brought it up? She tucked the pamphlet away carefully. She would remember this, she told herself, and make an effort to help Remus anyway she could to alleviate these things that were known problems for each month in anyway she could. This was probably something he could've spoken about with Ned Veigler that he didn't feel comfortable discussing which her, no matter how much she offered to listen. 

She suddenly felt very lonely for Remus.

The mediwitch was carrying on, talking about a procedure of taking some skin from his back to put over the wound on his shoulder, explaining it was a muggle procedure but that the bite was magical in origin and could not be healed by magic. She talked about the possibility of graphing the burn on his wrist, too, and asked Lily if she'd be willing to sign paperwork requesting them to either heal or omit the burns from the graphing they were doing and she didn't know what to do. 

"We also have this bag of personal effects," the mediwitch held out a clear plastic bag full of things that they'd fetched out of Regulus's pockets. Lily took it and hugged it to her chest.

James appeared at the doorway then, and Lily perked up in hope that Sirius might be there to help answer the questions but James was alone. He shook his head in answer to Lily's silent question -- no, Sirius wasn't coming.

Lily frowned and gripped Regulus's hand all the tighter. 

"Has he woken up at all?" James whispered as the Mediwitch promised to come back later and check in before she left. 

Lily shook her head.

James took her hand.

"It's going to be alright, Evans," he whispered. Then, "You need sleep, Evans. C'mere." He pulled her into his chest, laying her head against his shoulder.  "I'll wake you the second there's anything happening worth being awake for."