Thanks for 100k reads on this story, so here's the three part special to celebrate that. Thanks to KLigers98  for being a HUGE help in this chapter, go follow him. There will 100% be a wait for the next part of this, so be fucking patient

View let the audience calm down a bit, the last viewing was less than pleasant. But after a while he got impatient

View: Do you humans ever stop crying!

Pyyhra continued to sob into nora's lap

Nora: Well I'm sorry we have emotions unlike you!

View huffed as he flew around some more

View: I have emotions! Besides, the last viewing wasn't even that bad!

View sighed as two portals opened, one blue and the other green

View: I'm ready for a headache.

As View said that a portal appears and aw fuck it's KLigers98 or Ligers waving at everyone.

Liger: Hola mi amigos!

Ligers said waving at everyone then looking at Weiss, Raven, and Roman.

Ligers: Sup assholes.

Roman laughed and waved back as Raven scoffed as well as Weiss.

Ligers: Still mad about the porno Raven?

Raven: Fuck you!

Ligers: No thanks I don't want HIV.

As Ligers said that a blue portal opened next to him as the headache himself, Epsilon6666 came out.

Epsilon6666: SUP FUCKERS!

View sighed.

View: I wish I could take Advil, alas I cannot.

Ligers then takes a bottle of Advil and gives it to View.

Ligers: Here my friend.

View sighed

View: I don't even have arms to grab that with, much less a mouth to swallow it.

Epsilon came by view and put his arm around the ball.

Epsilon6666: Aw, come on View, I know you missed me!

View flew away and went to start the video, completely ignoring the boy in blue.

Ligers: Seems to me View is still stressed well anyway the next universe is going to be a crowd pleaser I tell yeah.

Epsilon pumped his arms into the air.

Epsilon6666: DEADPOOL YEAH!

Ligers: Yep.

Ruby: What's Deadpool?

Yang: If it's something inappropriate I will personally end you.

Ligers: Yeah right.

Epsilon6666: I'll plan our funeral!

Ligers: Yang you try to hurt me you will become bald.

When Ligers said that Yang grabbed her hair in fear.

Epsilon6666: You'll have to face my sniper and my incredible aim! And if you say one word about this comment section we're gonna have a physical altercation.

Ligers: Good luck with that anyway let's start this shit!

Ruby: Swear!

Ruby said holding a swear jar again which Ligers grabs some Lien from his pocket and puts it in the swear jar.

Epsilon6666: I will shoot that sweat jar out of your hand! Put that bullshit fukcing pussy ass thing down!

Ligers: Ignore him Ruby also I put five hundred Lien in that so pretty much we can swear the hell we want!

Ligers said with an evil smile.

Ruby: I did not think this through.

Epsilon6666: Hey don't ignore me!

View zapped him and went back to his place.

View: Silence!

Ligers did what he was told and sits next to Epsilon holding some soda, popcorn, and candy.

Ligers: Can we please watch the universe now?

Epsilon summons two flasks and tosses one Qrow

Epsilon6666: Let's begin!

The screen turns on and reveals an overpass, where a man in a red suit was dangling his legs over the edge where he is seen drawing with crayons while Salt-N-Pepa song Shoop was playing from the red suited man Walkman next to him.

Hey yeah, I wanna shoop baby!

Shoop shoop ba-doop

Shoop ba-doop

Shoop ba-doop ba-doop ba-doop

Shoop ba-doop

Shoop ba-doop

Shoop ba-doop ba-doop ba-doop

Um, you're packed and you're stacked 'specially in the back

Brother, wanna thank your mother for a butt like that (thanks, Mom)

Can I get some fries with that shake-shake boobie

If looks could kill you would be an Uzi

Or a shotgun - bang! What's up with that thang?

The music then stops as the red suited man turns to the viewers.

Ruby: Why is the guy in the Red Suit looking at us?

Epsilon get sup and moves to the corner of the room, grabbing a shotgun

Epsilon6666: Just in case.

As Epsilon said that the red suited man starts talking to the people in the theater.

Red Suited Man: Oh! Oh hello I know right. Whose balls did I have to fondle to get myself to be stared in this chapter. Well his name rhymes with Pepsi and Lawn and let me tell yeah he got a nice pair of smooth criminals down under as well as his green hair friend who rhymes with Tigers."

When the red suit man said that both Epsilon and Ligers got up from their chairs.

Epsilon: God dammit I swear, imma go all Boomstick on your ass! Ligers you can be Wiz!

Ligers: Sure also shut it Jaune! Also there was no ball fondling!

When Ligers said that everyone just looked at the screen.

Yang: That's Jaune damn! Also why are you yelling at the screen he can't hear us?

When Yang said oh man she was about to be proven wrong.

Jaune: Actually I can hear you Goldilocks and also call me Deadpool also hi mom, hi dad, hey sis.

The now named Deadpool said as he was waving at the people in the theater.

Juniper: Hi son!

Saphron sighed.

Saphron: After all these years and all these universes and he still has no fashion sense.

Goodwitch: He can see us?

Ligers: And hear us as he is self aware and he can pretty much break the fourth wall.

Epsilon: Yeah he knows if he's in a video game, a movie or awsome computer game show.

Epsilon thinks back on what he just said.

Epsilon: Awsome what now?

Weiss: What?

Ligers: Ha you admit he is awesome!

Weiss: No I don't!

Epsilon moves Weiss to the side

Epsilon6666: Stop being a bitch and just enjoy!

Pyrrha: So he's just self aware? That's it?

Deadpool: More then self aware Pyrrha my redheaded friend but anyway I think it time to get on with the story as I need a face to fix, my sexy bunny girlfriend to get back, and OHHHHHH! Bad guys to kill. *Deadpool then stands up from the ledge and jumps off  it and into the highway* Now Maximum Effforrttt!

Nora: JAUNE-JAUNE!

Epsilon stood in front of all the people.

Epsilon: Remember kids, sucide is never the answer. Sucide is the question, and the answer is yes!

Ligers: Really, that's the message you want to say to the readers?

Epsilon shrugged and went back to his seat.

Velvet pondered over jaunes words.

Velvet: Bunny girlfriend!

She falls into Coco's lap, a blushing mess.

The scene then changes to where soft music was being played inside a SUV driving down the highway until Jaune or Deadpool as he called crashed through the sunroof. This causes the driver to swerve and hit another car while inside Jaune could be seen fighting everyone inside.

Deadpool: Just call me Deadpool when I am in costume then Jaune I am not in costume.

Ligers: Okay.

Epsilon threw his sniper at the screen, only to realize he can't hit the man in red.

Epsilon: Don't tell me how to do my job! Also bullseye!

Unfortunately for Epsilon the sniper he threw accidentally fired and hit Raven in the ass.

Raven: SON OF BITCH!

Epsilon grabbed his sniper and glitched over to view.

Epsilon: Still bullseyes! Also protect me View!

Ligers: Calm your tits Raven or I show another porno of you which is way more fucked up then the last one!

Raven quickly sat down, shaking her head and everyone went back to looking at the screen.

Deadpool could be seen elbowing a guy in the face on his right, then a punch to the face to the guy on his left, and a kick to the face to the passenger.

Deadpool: Cock shot!

As Deadpool said that he punched the guy in the dick and then used him to hit the driver which he then threw him out the back which he then laughed at him.

Deadpool: Ha!

Epsilon: Ha!

All the guy's eyes in the room widened in pain at the cock shot and held their crotch.

Sun: I feel his pain.

Ligers: Man that's gotta to hurt.

Neptune: By Monty that hurts.

Tai: Thank god I am not him.

Qrow: That poor soul may his balls Rest In Peace.

Tai: His poor future children! They don't get to exist anymore.

Roman: I don't wanna have kids but damn that hurts I feel the phantom pain.

Ligers: Same here man.

Epsilon6666: I may like torture and shit, but dam that's gotta hurt.

Deadpool then continued to laugh at the guy hanging onto the bumper but unfortunately for him the guy next to Jaune grabbed him and threw him into the headrest.

Deadpool: *Mumbles* Rich Mistalian Leather! Very nice choice.

Deadpool then wiggled out of the man's grip and wrapped his feet around his head.

Deadpool: I am looking for Cardin Winchester!

As Jaune said that he twisted the guy's neck which made a really loud cracking sound.

Sun: Brutal!

Neptune: By Monty he snapped his neck!

Ligers: Yeah, with his legs.

Goodwitch: That was completely uncalled for, if Mr. Arc was trying to question him then he should have been kept alive.

Ligers: Yeah that would have been good but let's  just continue watching.

As Ligers said that everyone went back to watching the screen.

Deadpool then went to the front seat and showed them a crappy drawn picture of him shooting Cardin.

Deadpool: Have you seen this man?

As Deadpool asked, the driver grabbed his head and proceeded to slam it into the radio.

X gonna give it..

Driver slams Deadpool on the radio and the music changes.

Deadpool: Ow.

Quiero respirar tu cuello despacito...

Driver slams Deadpool on the radio again and the music changes.

Deadpool: Ow and thank you god I hate Despacito!

Treasure, that is what you are...

The driver slams Deadpool on the radio even harder and changes the song again.

Deadpool: Ow also tell me if I am wrong that Bruno Mars is not hot.

When Jaune said that everyone was surprised and looked towards Ligers.

Ligers: Oh right this version of Jaune is Bisexual so he goes both ways.

Velvet: But I thought I was his girlfriend in this. Wouldn't he be straight then?

Ligers: Oh come on he can have a girlfriend and also like guys is that wrong? Jesus, I thought your universe was okay with same sex relationships?

Epsilon6666: God Velvet you're not progressive enough! It's 2020 get with the program!

Epsilon glitched over to Velvet.

Epsilon: Don't get too sad, we all make mistakes. Some more then others.

Mercury: *Cough* Ravens a slut *cough*

Ligers: *Cough* Neptune is a man whore *cough*

Epsilon jumped away from Ligers .

Epsilon: CORONA!

Emerald scooted away from Mercury.

Emerald: Corona!

Ligers: For fuck sakes Cronoa only exist on the planet earth and also don't forget we are gods dumbass! We can't get infected.

Epsilon: Well I'm sorry, my titles aren't very descriptive! I mean it a downer say oh god of immunity to diseases. 

Ligers: But we can still die but not normally.

Epsilon: What's the point of- you know what I don't care anymore.

Yang threw her popcorn at Epsilon.

Yang: You don't care about you dying?

Epsilon throws the popcorn back and misses.

Epsilon: MOTHER FUCKER!

The popcorn instead hit Raven and got in her hair.

Epsilon: Bullseye!

An angry raven storms over to Epsilon.

Raven: what the hell!

Ligers then gets up and was in front of Raven in Mui Thai stance.

Ligers: Sit the fuck down or get dropped bitch!

Raven decided a to be smart for once and goes back to her seat.

Epsilon: Huh, you do have a brain.

Ligers: Dude stop throwing shit because it seems it always hits Raven. Don't believe me throw something at her.

Epsilon: Further supporting the fact that my aim is perfect!

He picks up a rock from the floor and throws it again. It bounces off the floor, the wall, a seat, views face, and hits Raven in the eye. Epsilon hides behind liger s

Epsilon: Protect me!

Ligers: Okay but you have to say what Tucker said when he lost or was it Sager or Griff I forget.

Epsilon sighs as the screen goes black, it opens back up on epsilon standing in front of everyone.

Epsilon: I just want everyone to know that I suck.

View: And?

Epsilon: And that I'm a girl, and I like pretty bows. And I want it kiss all the boys.

Ligers as well as the rest of the room started to laugh.

Ligers: Okay that was good but anyway back to the movie.

As Ligers said that the screen was back on Deadpool and looks at the audience and smiles.

Deadpool: Thank you Ligers and also yanky, yanky!

As Deadpool said that he breaks free of the driver slamming his head but the man next Deadpool tries to shoot him only to be stopped by Deadpool and redirects the gun which the gun fires and hits the driver's hand. The man then shakes his hand in pain from the bullet shot until he sees a man on a motorcycle next to him and sees him pulling a gun and then fires at the SUV. This causes the man on the left to be killed and Deadpool decides to kick him out which only the door came out while the dead man was dangling by the seat belt while also hitting the pavement as the SUV kept moving.

Ligers: Ouch!

Weiss: That had to hurt.

Blake: Wow you're so smart. Thanks for pointing that out!

Epsilon: Oh I'm so proud!

Deadpool: Thanks Epsilon also I need to take care of something in the back.

Deadpool turned his head and saw the man he threw into the back climbing back in which Deadpool decided to punch the driver's wound and slammed his hand on the gas hard and then pressed the cigarette lighter as the SUV collided with another SUV of the convoy.

Ligers: Oh here comes the good part.

Nora: what do you mean! Every part so far has been a good part!

Ren: nora please calm down.

Nora sipped from a mug in her hand.

Nora: But Ren I have so much energy!

Ren took the drink from her hand and looked at it

Ren: who gave her coffee?

Ligers was seen drinking ice coffee and looked at Ren.

Ligers: What?

Ozpin: Ah, I see you're a man of culture as well.

Ligers: I am as well as a man who doesn't do stupid shit like pissing off your ex by you know what.

Ozpin shakely drank his coffee as Goodwitch glared at Ligers for mentioning Salem. The audience goes back to watching as the movie continues.

While Deadpool had his foot pressing the driver to the window, while he had the other guy in a headlock. The lighter was done, and he pressed it to his forehead. As he opened his mouth to scream Deadpool shoved the lighter into his mouth.

Deadpool: I've never said this before, but don't swallow.

When Deadpool said that Ruby busted up laughing which made her team as well as the rest of her friends and family look at her.

Liger: Well looks like little red ain't so innocent after all.

Summer: Ruby Rose who taught you that!

Ruby stopped her laughter, her innocent look returning

Ruby: Oh Epsilon did.

The rose/Xiao long family looked over at the blue haired boy all glaring daggers.

Epsilon: LIGERS SAVE ME!

Ligers: Again, okay this time I get to 10 slaps I can use till now and the rest of etirnity.

Eplsion: Fuck that, View save me!

View flew down and let the blue haired boy jump onto him, he took him to the top of the theater.

Epsilon: Ha!

Summer aimed her sniper and shot at Epsilon, barely missing him.

Ligers: Huh you missed oh well also Jaune SUV 9 o'clock!

Deadpool then turned his head and saw the SUV from before pulling alongside him.

Deadpool: Oh no you don't!

Deadpool used his foot to steer into the other making the car roll while another motorcycle man in front of him which Deadpool grabbed his pants as the car rolled and everything was lined up perfectly. While in mid slow motion Deadpool had his head poking out of the sun roof and looked to the viewers.

Deadpool: Shit! Did I leave the stove on?

The car resumed rolling and a man was crushed, the motorcyclist 's head was cut off, another was thrown into a sign becoming red paste.

Ligers: Damn!

Pyrrha: I might be getting sick because that was brutal!

Epsilon: Is this what heavens like?

Cinder: Do be a dear and shut up!

Ligers: For once I agree with Tinder here and that's saying a lot.

Epsilon: Ligers! I feel betrayed!

Ligers: Well excuse me but you get in more trouble then I do and I am the guest usually it's my job to cause trouble.

Yang: Can everyone shut up and please just watch the movie!

Everyone then closed their mouths and looked back to the screen.

The SUV finally landed and all the civilians slammed on their brakes and bolted out of their cars off the highway while the rest of the escort pulled up to the one Deadpool was in.

The men slowly approached the car which they then all stopped as they heard the window open and Deadpool head pops out from it and then greets them.

Deadpool: Hi.

Deadpool was then met with the response of bullets shooting at him and going back inside the car which he then told them to stop which they did and Deadpool had his hands up and spoke.

Deadpool: Wait! You may be wondering why the red suit, well that's so bad guys can't see me bleed! This guy has the right idea! He wore brown pants!

The man in the brown pants looked down and got mad and shot Deadpool which he then retracted his hands back into the SUV which he stopped.

Deadpool: Fine! I only have 12 bullets so you're going to have to share!

As Deadpool said that he looked back to the audience.

Deadpool: Hey, Ruby, I hope you can keep up with me my adorable little weapon otaku.

Ruby: Will do Jaune.

Ligers: If she can't then I will honestly be surprised.

Deadpool: Okay let's start!

Deadpool jumps out of the car and then does a spin which he then fires one round with the casing imprinted with the number 12 on it and then fires another round this time the casing had 11 on it and then he landed behind the car while the bad guys resumed shooting at him.

As they kept firing at Deadpool another man on a motorcycle came around the car and shot Deadpool which hit his arm leaving a hole which made Deadpool swear.

Deadpool: Shit!

Juniper: My baby!

Pyrrha: Jaune! He shouldn't have been so reckless!

Yang: Brutal! Man I hope that never happens to my arm!

(That kids is what we call foreshadowing, Again, you know what scew you!)

Ligers: Don't worry everyone Jaune has a healing factor look.

Saphron: Thank god.

Winter: That's an odd semblance.

Ligers: Actually that's not a semblance, it's a mutation. Think of it as also a super power.

Qrow: Well that's one awesome mutation 

Ruby: Super powers!

Ligers: Yep, this universe is full of heroes but right now I think we should be getting back now.

Deadpool is seen wiggling his finger through the hole which he then looked through the hole in his arm and saw the man on the motorcycle coming at him again while also the hole in Deadpool's arm is being healed.

Deadpool: Motherfucker!

Deadpool then points his gun at the motorcyclist and fires at him.

Deadpool: 10!

The man dodges the bullet which Deadpool fires again.

Deadpool: Shit! 9!

Deadpool then fires again which the man dodges again.

Deadpool: Fuck!

Deadpool sees the man is still coming and fires again.

Deadpool: 8!

Sadly the bullet still missed and Jaune swears again.

Deadpool: Shitfuck!

The man kept on driving and Deadpool followed him and jumped over the car he was behind and aimed, but he sadly he was too late and he escaped which made him sad and he lowered his head.

Deadpool: Bad Deadpool.

Juniper: Son! Language!

Yang can be seen covering Ruby's ears, who is blissfully unaware just eating her cookie.

Ligers: Mission failed we'll get him next time Jaune.

Deadpool then heard footsteps behind him and saw a thug looking behind the car to see if Deadpool was there.

Deadpool: 7.

Deadpool then aimed his pistol and shot the poor thug in the head.

Deadpool: Good Deadpool.

Neptune: Headshot!

Sun leans over a trash can

Sun: You can see the inside of his head!

Roman puffs a smoke out of his cigar

Roman: Poor guy taken out like that.

Liger: Yep, poor guy indeed also duck Deadpool!

Deadpool did what Ligers said and ducked as bullets came flying at him and saw another thug firing at him. Deadpool then starts running and then jumps over a white car and then does a twist mid-air and ducks behind another SUV. 

As the thug keeps firing he runs out of bullets and takes cover on the other side of the SUV where Deadpool is. As Deadpool hears the bullets have stopped he stood up and looked through the window of the SUV and saw the man reloading which he then yelped as the thug resumed to fire at him. The thug then jumped on the hood of the car and aimed at Deadpool who was striking a pose on the pavement.

Winter: What is he doing? He's going to get shot!

Qrow: even with his healing factor the kid is screwed!

Ruby: Run Jaune run!

Weiss: The idiot is gonna get filled with bullets!

Epsilon: Man you guys have no faith!

Ligers: Agreed, also wait for it.

As the thug pulled the trigger only a clicking sound could be heard from the gun.

Deadpool: Someone's not counting. *Shoots the thug in the head while in the pose* Six also hello Remnant to Ruby. You're supposed to be counting.

Epsilon: Hold up you have a brain count for yourself.

Deadpool: Hey I am only asking jeez man I still don't get what Texas sees in you sometimes.

Epsilon: Hey man don't talk bout my girl like that! Cuz she'll kick your ass, I won't but she will! I mean I could, but I'm lazy.

Ligers: Uhhh isn't your girl technically a sl-

Ligers didn't finish his sentence as Epsilon puts a knife to his neck.

Epsilon: You wanna finish that sentence.

Ligers didn't say anything and Epsilon put his knife away.

Epsilon: Good job, cuz if you were thinking about it. I would probably miss the knife stab. .

Ligers: Yeah and stab Raven which I still don't know how it's only bad things are only happening to her?

Epsilon: I may or may not be aiming for her.

Ligers: Okay.

As Ligers stopped talking Ruby started to speak.

Ruby: Sorry, Jaune I was caught up with you being awesome.

Deadpool: Thanks Ruby.

Ligers: Uh guys I see, two more thugs coming Jaune's ways.

Nora: Jaune-Jaune is gonna destroy them!

Two thugs with guns could be seen running down the highway. Both thugs then ducked behind a black van, and one of the thugs then pulled out a grenade from his belt.

Ligers: These mofos are going to die.

Ironwood: Is that healing factor of his good enough to stop a grenade blast? A

Ligers: It is hell he can even come back from the dead from just a finger.

Epsilon: I'm really not a big fan of finger Deadpool, he's creepy.

Ligers: Dude I mean he can regenerate from just a finger he'll if there is a piece of Deadpool left he will regrow back and come back to life.

Cinder: interesting, and can it be replicated?

Ligers: Trust me you don't want it because it has a horrible side effect. Trust me you would want to die if you have the side-effect from the mutation.

As the thug with the grenade was about to throw it Deadpool stepped out behind the SUV and shot the grenade the thug was holding and then boom the grenade exploded killing both thugs which made Deadpool happy and does a little dance.

Deadpool: Me gusta cinco!

As Deadpool continued to his little dance he unfortunately didn't see the other thug behind him and got shot and what's worse was it was in the ass which Deadpool then fell onto the pavement for comedic effect.

(People's reaction)

Qrow: thats gotta hurt.

Coco: Dam, ouch.

Ligers: Ouch in deed reminded me of Tucker shooting Epsilon girlfriend in the ass.

Epsilon: I will fucking end you if you say one more word! I swear to all things fucking sacred, don't trash my girl!

Ligers: Why not?

Epsilon: You know what? Screw it, she's already dead. Whatever.

Ligers: Dude I am sorry it's just come on she treated you like shit!

Epsilon: I'm going back to my flask, fuck this. Also I could've stopped her, but I'm lazy!

Ligers: :( Really then why didn't you.

Epsilon: You know the rules same as me liger, I may break them a lot but I have my limits.

Ligers: Oh I see well sorry man just I don't like any of my friends abused or treated badly but anyway let's just watch the film.

Epsilon: I wouldn't call it abuse, more like she beat me with my own body!

Ruby: That doesn't seem physically possible!

Ligers: Yeah, I agree well anyway back to the screen.

The scene shows the thug slowly walking towards Deadpool to see if he was dead or not.

Deadpool: *Groan voice* Ffffouuurrr.

Deadpool then points his gun up and fires between his legs and shoots the guy in the head.

Deadpool: *Sounds in pain* Gotcha.

Deadpool then slowly stood up and sighed in pain.

Deadpool: Right up Main Street.

Deadpool then walks towards the dead thug that shot him and points his gun at the corps and fires.

Deadpool: Three, two! Stupid, but worth it!

Epsilon: You should have tee-bagged him! It's the ultimate form of disrespect!

Deadpool: I have class amigo.

Ligers: Really?

Goodwitch: Aren't you a trained killer? Or something like that.

Deadpool: I am but I have my limits bondage witch.

Goodwitch became a mess as Deadpool said that.

Goodwitch: BONDAGE WITCH!

Tai and Qrow chuckled but stopped under the intense glare of goodwitch until Ironwood could be heard screaming at the screen.

Ironwood: This version of Arc is an idiot! He now has only one bullet.

Winter: How is he going to win even with his healing factor he still has has no weapons!

Winter and Ironwood looked to Ligers who was just silent.

Deadpool: Fuck you snow bitch and deadwoo-

Deadpool could not finish his insult on Ironwood as bullets were being fired at him which Deadpool takes cover behind another car.

The three thugs then stopped firing their guns and stopped and slowly move up hoping to get Deadpool by surprise only to get a surprise of their own as Deadpool could be seen running on top of the cars and then doing a bad ass spin which he then uses his pistol firing the last bullet  in his gun at the thugs which kills all three of them instantly and what's more bad ass was that the thugs were perfectly lined up.

Ligers: You were saying Deadwood? Also next time snowbitch don't judge a book by its cover.

Ironwood and Winter was just speechless and didn't say anything and everyone went back to watching the screen.

As Deadpool lands from doing the spin he then inhales the gun smoke and moans.

Deadpool: Ohhhhhh, I'm touching myself tonight.

When Deadpool said that Ruby and Pyhrra could be seen laughing and also seen drooling a bit.

Ruby: Same here buddy.

Pyrrha: Same.

When Ruby and Pyrrha said that everyone just looked at both of them  in shock and Epsilon jumps back away from them.

Epsilon: I did not need to know that! Keep it to yourself! God View pass me the bleach!

View flew over to Epsilon and dropped him some bleach, as he began to poor it into his eyes.

Epsilon: BEGON IMAGE!

Ligers: Honestly, this is not surprising after I showed Raven in that tentacle porno and Raven let me remind you try anything I will show you and fucking Qrow getting it on!

Both Raven and Qrow looked at each other and then went to a trash can as well as the rest of the Rose and Xiao Long Family.

Ligers: You all good?

The Rose and Xiao Long Family nodded yes as except for Raven and Qrow.

Qrow: Please Ligers don't show that please!

Ligers: Then tell your sister not to piss me off.

Epsilon takes a notebook titled "Messed up story ideas" and writes down incest.

Epsilon: A fine addition to my collection.

Ligers: Okay, well back to the screen.

The screen shows Deadpool skipping around the highway.

Deadpool: Cardin~

Ligers: Cardin the bad guy huh well I be damned.

Ligers said sarcastically.

Epsilon: God who saw that coming! The racist a *Gasp* a bad person!

Deadpool said cheerfully while continuing to skip towards the other SUV and then opens the front door to find no one.

Deadpool: Oh, Cardin~

Deadpool closed the driver door with his hip, then opened the back, revealing nothing which makes Deadpool confused.

Deadpool: What the shitbiscut?! Where you at Cardin?

As Deadpool said that  the scene showed a man behind him getting up and it was the third thug he shot with the bullet  and saw the bullet barely breaking the skin on the thug's forehead.

Ligers: Fuck run away man!

Ruby: Why are you telling Jaune to run?

Ligers: Not Jaune Ruby, the guy who is in front of Jaune!

Deadpool groans and turns around to the thug.

Deadpool: You're not Cardin.

The scene then changes back to the thug who is seen rolling up his sleeves and drawing a pair of knives.

Deadpool: Should have listened to Ligers dumbass. Also really rolling up the sleeves?

As Deadpool said that the thug charges at him with his knives which Deadpool draws out the katanas on his back and then impales thugs with his swords and lifts him up into the air and everything starts to move in slow motion and Deadpool starts talking.

Deadpool: If this was a movie which it is and Ryan Reynolds is playing me Deadpool and the people who are watching are asking I thought this was superhero movie but that guy in the red suit turned that other guy into a fucking Kebab.

Yang: I-I so many fourth wall breaks!

Blake: He's smart-ish. I guess you have to be smart to break the fourth wall right?

Weiss: or just really messed up in the head.

Ligers: I mean yeah but shush he is still talking.

Deadpool: Thanks Ligers anyway as I was saying I may be super but I am no hero and yeah technically this is a murder but some of the best love stories start with a murder.

Epsilon: Oh he's not wrong~

Weiss: Yeah if they were crazy!

Ligers: Weiss if you don't shut up I will show a porno of you with something more fucking disturbing then Qrow and Raven fucking even more disturbing then the tentacle monster!

Weiss shuts up and Deadpool continues to talk.

Deadpool: Thank you Ligers and as I was saying this is exactly what it is a love story but to tell it right I gotta take you back long before I squeeze this ass in red spandex.

The scene then gets a close up of Deadpool's ass and then a flash is scene and shows an ass of a man wearing skinny jeans.

Pyrrha: Oh my god. This is the most I've seen of Jaune, it's a dream come true!

She falls down as Nora catches her

Ruby hides her blush under her hood and goes into a ball in her seat.

Velvet blushes as she covers it with her ears.

Epsilon: Aw lovebirds! I wonder how bad I can ruin this! Maybe a bit of waterboarding, mutilation, abuse? Oh I can't decide.

Ligers: Okay but can we just watch the goddam movie!

As the other guy's ass is, scene talking could be heard.

Other guy: Look would it help if I slow it down for you? I didn't order the pizza.

The shot changes to over a shoulder shot where it shows a pizza boy talking to the other man ass we saw from the transition.

Pizza Boy: "Is this 7348 Red Ledge Drive? Are you Mr. Black?

As the pizza boy said that the camera changes showing Mercury.

Mercury: Holy shit it's me!

Emerald: No shit it's you.

Mercury: It's just, I'm not in many of these.

Epsilon; It's cuz no one likes you.

Mercury: Hey!

Ligers: What it's true also just shut the fuck up and watch the screen.

Mercury: Yeah, the Mr. Black who didn't order the fucking pie!

Pizza Boy: Then who placed the call?

The tired pizza boy asked which pizza boy question was answered.

Jaune: I did!

Jaune's voice came from the bathroom followed by a flushing noises. Jaune is then seen leaving the restroom and walks towards Mercury and the pizza boy.

Jaune: Pineapple and Olive?

Nora: That sounds disgusting.

Ligers: Agreed.

Ren: That actually doesn't sound that bad.

Nora: Ren you have weird taste.

Ligers: Your one to talk you use that red sap on your pancakes as syrup.

Nora: Touché.

The screen shows the pizza boy nodding to Jaune's question and brings the bag over to Jaune and takes the box's out which makes Jaune smile as the boy pulls out his order.

Jaune: Sweet and Salty.

Mercury: The fuck are you?

Mercury said, wondering why this guy was

in his apartment.

Mercury: The fuck you doing in my crib?!

Mercury was then cut off as Jaune pulled out a 1911 desert eagle from his waist and aimed it at him nonchalantly.

Ligers: How do you like that bitch?

Epsilon: Hahaha! How the turns tabled!

Ren: I'm not sure that's how the saying goes.

Epsilon: Shut it kid!

Ren: I'm pretty much your age.

Epsilon: KID I SWEAR, I WILL FUCKING END YOU.

Ligers: Dude calm yourself man also Ren word of advice you don't want to piss Epsilon off trust me this guy can be scary when he wants to.

Weiss scoffs at Ligers remark.

Weiss: what this man child? He can't even defend himself, much less threaten someone.

Ligers: Weiss you white haired dumbass. You know what Epsilon you can take her if you want to do the thing.

Epsilon grabs Weiss's shoulder and smiles at her.

Epsilon: Why don't you and me have a talk, alone, in the other room.

Epsilon drags Weiss out of the room.

Ligers then smiles and then laughs.

Ligers: Ha, Hallelujah well anyway back to the screen.

As Jaune was pointing the gun at Mercury he sniffs the air quickly and looks to the pizza boy.

Jaune: Is that burnt crust I smell?

Pizza Boy: God, I hope not.

The pizza boy said as he was terrified out of his fucking mind.

Anyway as the pizza boy was checking the pizza Mercury puts his hand up in fear and starts talking while also not trying to shit himself.

Mercury: Hey man, If this is about that poker game.

Mercury continued to talk and Jaune stepped closer to him while still pointing the gun.

Mercury: I told Emerald , I told Emerald...ok, look, just take whatever you want.

Mercury then goes into his pockets and hands it over to Jaune who takes it.

Jaune: Thanks.

Pizza Boy: Sir, before you do anything to him, do you mind if I get a really big tip?

Winter: Really he is going to ask for a tip when he is hold up at gunpoint?

Roman: That kid got balls, huge balls.

Sun: Someone get this man to the doctor! His balls are too big for his body!

Neptune: Hey! Some things gotta pay the bills!

The screen shows Jaune laughing and looking at the pizza boy.

Jaune: Adam is it.

Adam nodded and Jaune put his fist out and Adam bumped it.

Ligers: Holy shit that's Adam but where the hell is his scar?

Blake balls her fist.

Blake: Him.

Yang raises an eyebrow but says nothing.

Epsilon comes strolling back into the room, looking as happy as ever. Despite his clothes being covered in blood.

Ligers: Let me guess all of the above?

Epsilon shrugged.

Epsilon: And a little something extra!

View: Epsilon where is weiss?

As View said that Weiss could be heard screaming.

Weiss: Please someone help me!

Ligers: Damn Epsilon nice.

Epsilon: Right, let me just go put the rest of her back together.

Epsilon was about to leave until Winter tried to grab him and punch him only to get punched by Ligers and knocked out.

Ironwood: Winter!

Ligers: You owe me dude.

Epsilon: Oooh! More fun times! Also I know.

Epsilon grabbed winter and dragged her to join her sister, smiling all the while.

Ligers: Let this be a warning to those who fuck with Epsilon. Prepare to see hell.

As Ligers said everyone sat down fright and went back to looking at the screen.

Jaune: That's a no go on the tiperoo, Ada.

Jaune says and pulls a gold card from his wallet, which Mercury instantly recognizes.

Jaune: I'm not here for him. I'm here for you."

Jaune turned his gun on Adam which caused him to be scared.

Blake smiled when Jaune said that.

Blake: Always the villains aren't you Adam? Even when your acting like a simple pizza man.

Ligers: Yep, and the best part is that this is a hit everyone now back to the movie!

Mercury sighed in relief as he was not the target.

Mercury: Ok, dodged a big-time bullet on that one.

Jaune: Not, *cracked his gun across Mercury's face* Not out of the woods yet. You need to seriously ease up on the bedazzling. They're jeans, not a chandelier. P.S. I'm keeping your wallet. You did kinda give it to me.

Mercury: Okay, just look, man, can I have my Sam's card...

Jaune puts his gun on Mercury's forehead.

Jaune: I will shoot your fucking cat!

This makes Mercury confused but sits down on his chair while Jaune keeps his gun in place.

Mercury: I don't really know what that means. I don't have a cat.

Jaune: Then whose kitty litter did I just shit in?

Jaune asked which Mercury looked even more confused while Jaune also looked confused as well.

Ruby: We heard flushing from Mercury's toilet and Jaune also came out of the bathroom.

Ligers: Honestly, I watched this before even I was confused but still it was pretty funny when he said that. Well anyway back to it.

Jaune is seen putting away his gun and then drawing out KA-BAR.

Jaune: Anyhoo, tell me something, what situation isn't improved by pizza?

Jaune does a badass knife twirl and uses the blade to open the pizza box.

Jaune: Do you happen to know a Blake Belladonna? Getting that right? Belladoughna? Bellabonna?

Black: It's Belladonna asshole!

Ligers: Come down Blake.

Blake: No, that asshole said my last name wrong.

As Blake was about to get up from her chair and attack the screen Ligers grabbed something from his pocket and threw it in Blake's face and she sits down and was smiling.

Yang: What the hell did you do to her?

Ligers: Don't worry about it's only catnip.

Yang: Catnip really she looks like she's out of it?

Ligers: Okay, it's catnip and marijuana geeze.

Blake: Hey, Yang you look funny.

Ruby: Will she be okay?

Ligers: Don't worry it only lasts for an hour well anyway back to the screen.

The screen shows Adam nodding his head to his question which Jaune took a bite out of his slice of pizza and starts talking with his mouth full.

Jaune: Because she knows you.

Jaune is seen moving towards Mercury which then handed the rest of the slice to him which fell shy when he reached for it.

Jaune: I belong to a group of guys who take a dime to beat a fella down and little Blake, she's not made of money, but lucky for her, I got a soft spot.

Adam: But I'm...

Jaune: A stalker.

Jaune finished his sentence for him.

Ligers: Yep he most certainly is.

Blake: a Hahaha I kneeeeew it! Mr Red Bull is always a bad boy!

Yang: Blake sit down.

Blake: Nooooooo! Ms banana can't make me!

Yang sighed at Blake's antics.

Yang: BLAKE I SWEAR.

Ligers: Man she sure is funny when she is high now again back to the screen.

Jaune: Threats hurt Adam. Though not nearly as badly as serrated steel. So, keep away from Blake.

Jaune said as each word he said he brought the blade a little closer to Adam's face.

Jaune: Cool?

Adam: Yes, sir!

Adam answered quickly as his mouth would let him.

Jaune: Then we're done here.

Jaune then sheathed his blade.

Adam: Wait we are?

Adam being a dumbass for asking that which Jaune nodded.

Jaune: Yeah, totally done.

Everyone then started laughing uneasily.

Jaune: You should've seen your face!

Jaune said pointing at Mercury.

Mercury: I didn't know what to do. * Mercury holding his arms up* I was so scared.

Jaune nodded and smiled and then looks to Adam.

Jaune: Soft spot remember?

Blake: Oh this is bullshiiiiiiitttt!

Ligers: Wait for it.

As Jaune said that He knocked the pizza out of Adam's hands and pushed him against the wall.

Jaune: You even look in her general direction again and you will learn in the worst of ways, that I have some hard spots too.

When Jaune said that  he thought it over for a second if that was the right thing to say.

Jaune: That came out wrong. Or did it?

Jaune kisses Adam's cheek while he squirmed with fear.

Ligers: Ha nice.

Velvet: Well, at least it's only on the cheek. He still loves me right?

Coco: of course velvet! I mean who couldn't!

Ligers: Were getting to it and trust me your going to love what happens when you two meet.

Velvet: Ok? I'm not sure I like this.

The scene changes to a skate park where Jaune is seen walking down some stairs with a pizza box in his hand with Mercury's sunglasses on, and a carefree stroll in his step. He found Blake sitting with her friends unfortunately Jaune had to think for a second before pointing her out.

Jaune: Blake?

She looked up at him which Jaune then tossed the pizza box in front of her as well as some polaroid photos on top of the pizza box.

Jaune: You've heard the last of Adam, he's sorry.

Blake looks at the photos and smiles.

Blake: No freaking way.

Ligers: Well he is dead.

Ruby: What do you mean?

Ligers: Really, you thought Jaune would let a stalker go sorry to say the camera didn't show Jaune killing him when he took the picture.

Blake: Ooooooh! Bull man got what heee deservvved.

Ligers: Indeed that bitch is dead now onwards l.

Jaune took off the sunglasses he got from Mercury and tossed them aside.

Jaune: Should've brought my roller blades, shown these kids how it's done.

As Jaune said that Blake hugs him.

Jaune: And that's why we do it, but mostly for the money.

Jaune said then a familiar Green hair girl spoke.

Green Hair girl: Hey, think you can fuck up my step-dad?

Jaune: I give a guy a pavement facial because he's earned it.

Mercury: Hey!

Ligers: She is not talking about you dumbfuck.

Mercury: I know, I am simply defending my other self!

Ligers: Okay?

Jaune began walking away until he was called out by Blake.

Blake: Hey, wait!

Jaune turned around but kept walking but saw Blake smiling.

Blake: You're my hero.

To Blake's response he denies it.

Jaune: No-no-no-no, That I ain't!

The scene then changes and Jaune could be seen walking down the street and starts speaking to the audience.

Jaune: Nope, never will be.

As Jaune was walking he saw a man smoking a cigar and hit him in the nuts which the man of the cigarette turned around and flicked his cigar at him.

Man Jaune hit: Fuck you Jaune!

Jaune then keeps and continues talking.

Jaune: I'm just a bad guy who gets paid to fuck up worse guys.

Jaune is then seen opening a door and there is a plaque that says Sister Branwen School For Wayward Girls and under it says Deliveries which Jaune then explains what this place is as well as showing the inside of it.

Jaune:  Welcome to Sister Branwen. It's like a job fair for mercenaries.

As Jaune walks inside it reveals that Sister Brawen is a bar, more specifically a bar for mercenaries which Jaune continues to talk.

Jaune: Think of us as really fucked up tooth fairies, except we knock out the teeth and take the money. You best hope we never see your name on a gold card.

Jaune continued to walk inside the bar and then He patted a man's back as he walked around the bar.

Jaune: Sun.

Sun: Sup Jaune.

He answers and Jaune is then greeted by his best friend Lie Ren with open arms.

Ren: Jaune Arc, Patron Saint of the Pitiful. What can I do for you?

Jaune: I'd love a blowjob.

Jaune answered Ren.

Ren: Oh, god, me too.

Ren said and smiled as he could really go for a blowjob himself.

As the word blowjob was said Epsilon comes walking back in followed by two scared Schness.

Ligers: Hey man what's up?

Epsilon: Oh nothing, I was just having my fun! Shit! I forgot my glasses! I shall return! Now you two, don't say anything alright?

Weiss and Winter nodded and went back to their seats in fear and as the sit down Nora asks Ren a question.

Nora: What's a blowjob and I wouldn't mind giving one to Renny.

When Nora said that Ren spitted some water he was drinking in the theater and was looking beet red which makes some of the people in the theater laugh at Nora.

Nora: What was it something I said?

Ligers: Oh Nora please stay the same and also Ren will tell you when you're more mature anywho back to the screen.

Jaune: The drink mooseknuckle.

Jaune said and slapped the card on the counter and Ren was about to make a drink only to be called back from Jaune which Ren turned around.

Jaune: Hey, and I ain't taking any babysitting money, all right? Make sure that gets back to Ms...

Ren: Belladonna.

Ren finished Jaune sentence so he didn't fuck it up  the name again which Jaune nodded to the name Ren said.

Jaune: Yeah her.

Ren: You sure?

Ren asked which Jaune grunted in agreement.

Ren: You know for a merc you're pretty warm blooded.

Ren then starts making Jaune's drink.

Ren: I bet you let the kid off easy too.

This makes Jaune chuckle at what Ren said.

Jaune: He's not a bad kid Ren, Just a little light stalking. I was way worse than him at that age. I was traveling to exotic places. Vacuo, Mantel, Patch, meeting new and exciting people. And then...

Ren: Killing them.

Ren finished Jaune's sentence again and then nodded his head.

Ren: Yeah, I've seen your Instagram. So, what was Special Forces doing in Patch?

Jaune smiles and answers Ren's question.

Jaune: Classified, they have a wonderful T.G.I. Friday.

Epsilon walked back in with his blue tinted glasses on

Epsilon: Oooh! I forgot how much I liked this Jaune!

Ligers: Who doesn't like T.G.I Friday.

Epsilon: uh, I don't know maybe everyone in this room besides you me and view?

Ligers: True but they don't have them in Remnant.

Epsilon: Now that is a tragedy.

Ligers: True now anyway onwards again.

Ren: All right.

Ren gave Jaune his drink and topped it off with whipped cream.

Ren: Kahlua, Baileys, and whipped cream. I give you a blowjob. Why do you make me say that?

Jaune: Miltia, Miltia, Miltia Millie.

Jaune said and stopped a familiar sexy red dressed waitress.

Jaune: Take that over to Sun and tell him it's a little foreplay from Neptune.

Ruby: What is Jaune doing?

Epsilon: Oh this is a classic!

Neptune: Jaune you asshole!

Ren chuckles

Ren: this is going to be fun.

Ligers: Shit is about to go down.

Ren: Remind me what good will come of this?

Ren asked which Jaune just shrugs.

Jaune: I don't take the shits, I just disturb them.

Sun is seen pushing people out of his way holding the drink Jaune made and going to where Neptune is and places the shot on his table.

Neptune: What you want?

Neptune asks which he receives a right hook from Sun and a bar fight breaks out.

Ligers: Classic.

Epsilon: Indeed.

Ozpin: Ah a classic bar fight. Reminds me of the good old days

Goodwitch: Ozpin?!

Ligers: Oh calm down Goodwitch he used to be an

alcoholic.

Epsilon: I mean to be honest, I feel most people in here used to be or still are alcoholics.

Ligers: I drink on ocasión but rarely.

Epsilon: Aw your no fun!

Ligers: Yeah, yeah well anyway back to the screen.

Jaune: Cheers, to your health.

Jauen said ignoring the bar fight he just started which Ren just sighs.

Ren: Fuck you.

Neptune: Come here you blonde fuck!

Neptune grabbing a barstool.

Ren: That's a new stool.

Ren watches as the barstool is broken across Sun's back. This made Sun mad and gave another right hook to Neptune through a table onto the ground which caused Neptune to have a bloody face.

Ligers: Ouch.

Sun: Same.

Sun: Stay the fuck down.

Sun said which Neptune tried getting back up only to get back down as Sun punched him in the face again which made everyone stop and Ren went over to check on Neptune.

Ren: Alright, move, move, move, move, move, Sun go rest.

Ren knelt down on Neptune and held up a glass to Neptune's face which his breath began to fog it up and Ren stood up.

Ren: Yeah, he's still breathing.

When Ren said that everybody started groaning.

Ren: Nobody wins today.

Ren began walking back to the bar and looked at Jaune.

Ren: Nice try Jaune.

Jaune: You got me, I picked Neptune for the Dead pool, who'd you pick?

Jaune asked which Ren sits next to him.

Ren: Yeah, about that Jaune.

Jaune then looked appalled at Ren.

Jaune: No, you did not bet on me to die.

Jaune looked above the bar to see the chalk board and saw his name with 200 dollars on it which he then looked at Ren.

Jaune: You bet on me to die. Motherfucker, you're the world's worst friend. Well, joke's on you, I'm living to 102, and then dying. In the city of Vale."

Jaune said which Ren shook his head he understands.

Ren: I'm sorry, I wanted to win money. I never win anything.

Ren said which Jaune just shrugs it off.

Jaune: Whatever.

Jaune then turned his head to the rest of the people in the bar and then spoke.

Jaune: Soldiers of fortune drinks on me!

This made everyone in bar cheer which Ren then stands up to clarify what drink they can have.

Ren: Domestic nothing imported!

As Jaune began counting the money from the wallet he stole he heard a familiar voice  the audience recognized and a hand was seen striking Jaune's shoulder and the camera revealed it to be Velvet.

Ligers: I have to say I can see why Romhay likes this girl. She's pretty cute.

Ligers said which makes Velvet blush and pulls her ears down.

Velvet: He-hey!

Coco: You can't tease her! Only I can! About her huge crush on Jaune!

Velvet: Coco!

Coco: What I was being honest Oum.

Velvet: Whoa, whoa, whoa, baby, are you sure you wanna blow your whole wad?

Velvet asks which Jaune just stares at her body.

Jaune: Uhhhhh, TIGHT.

Jaune held up his pinky and looked Velvet.

Velvet: Velvet.

Velvet said and she gripped Jaune's with her pinky which Jaune just kept staring at her.

Velvet: Jaune, what's a nice place like you doing in a girl like this?

Jaune asked which Velvet didn't get to answer as Sun came by and slapped her ass.

Sun: I hit that.

As Sun was about to leave Jaune grabbed his shirt and turned him around.

Jaune: Sun, you best apologize before...

Velvet walks up to Sun and grabs his crotch which makes Sun eyes pop which Jaune then stares at Velvet's hand.

Jaune: Yeah, that.

Every guy in the theater grabbed their crotch as the felt the phantom pain from it.

Ligers: Oh Sweet lord.

Epsilon: Ah! The pain!

Velvet then looks at Sun and speaks.

Velvet: Say the magic words Monkey boy.

Velvet said while still holding onto Sun's balls making him turn red.

Sun: I'm sorry!

Jaune: Breath through the nose.

Jaune advised which Sun nodded and then continued to apologize to Velvet.

Sun: I don't have a filter between my brain and my-!

Velvet makes Sun stop talking and starts squeezing tighter on Sun's crotch, which Jaune stops her.

Jaune: Whoa, whoa, whoa, hakuna his ta tas he said he's sorry.

Velvet then let go of Sun's crotch and Sun quickly ran away.

Jaune: Get out of here. Go ride a cloud or something.

Jaune said which he then tries to guid Velvet away only for his hand to be removed.

Velvet: Hey, hands off the merchandise.

This surprises Jaune and puts his hands up quickly and then puts them back down.

Jaune: Merchandise?

Jaune then leans against the bar while still looking at Velvet.

Jaune: Huh, so you uh I'm fuzzies for money?

Jaune asked which Velvet nodded.

Velvet: Yep.

Velvet: Wait I am a-

Ligers: Yep, you're a hooker in this universe Velvet.

Coco: No! I won't let you be! I'll find some way to travel to that world and stop that velvet from becoming one!

Ligers: For the love of god you can't the multiverse won't let you.

Velvet: Fuck the Multiverse!

Ligers: Fuck sakes back to the screen.

Jaune continued to stare at Velvet and asks her a question.

Jaune: Rough childhood?

Jaune asked which  Velvet just shrugged,

Velvet: Rougher than yours, daddy left before I was born.

Velvet said which Jaune said.

Jaune: Daddy left before I was conceived.

Jaune shrugged as well and Velvet was now confused for a second and then asked Jaune a question.

Velvet: Ever had a cigarette put out on your skin?

Jaune: Where else do you put one out?

Velvet: I was molested.

Jaune: Me too, uncle.

Jaune said which Velvet then replied with.

Velvet: Uncles, they took turns.

Jaune's eyebrows arched as he looked at Velvet.

Jaune: I watched my own birthday through the keyhole of a locked closet which also happens to be..."

Before Jaune could finish his sentence Velvet beat him to it.

Velvet: Your bedroom? Lucky, I slept in a dishwasher box.

Jaune then gasped.

Jaune: You had a dishwasher. I didn't even know sleep, it was pretty much 24/7 ball-gags, brownie mix, and clown porn.

Velvet then started laughing and smiled at Jaune.

Velvet: Who would do such a thing?

Jaune smiles back at Velvet and answers his question.

Jaune: Hopefully you, later tonight.

Jaune and Velvet just stare at each other until Jaune speaks again.

Jaune: Hey, what can I get for $275 and a, * starts rummaging through the wallet* Yogurtland rewards card?"

"Baby about 48 minutes of whatever the fuck you want," Blake took the money, "And a low-fat dessert." Blake slipped the card into his mouth and walked off.

Jaune just looked at Ren.

Ren: Did she just put a gift card in your mouth?

Ren asked which he then watched Jaune walk off and the scene changed to Jaune and Velvet face to face while Velvet's arms were around Jaune's neck.

Jaune: It's time to put balls in holes. You said anything I want.

Velvet: I get it.

Velvet sighs and the camera revealed they were at an arcade.

Velvet: You love skeeball.

Ligers: Ha! You all thought you were going to see a sex scene you be wrong.

Epsilon: Wait what happened I spaced out di-

Ligers: Be quiet man just watch.

Epsilon became silent and everyone went back to watching the screen.

Velvet: Apparently more than you love vagina.

Velvet then let's go of Jaune's neck.

Jaune nodded which then said.

Jaune: It's a tough call, I, I just want to meet the real you not, short, shorted, two dimensional sex object pedel by Valewood.

As Jaune said that Velvet then picks up a ball from the skeeball game and then looks at Jaune.

Velvet: Balls in holes

Velvet then tossed Jaune a ball and Jaune caught it.

Jaune: Balls in holes, prepare to lose tragically.

Velvet: Bring it big man.

Velvet smirked at Jaune which he then threw the ball into the 100,000 hole which shocked.

Velvet: Ruh-Roh.

Velvet whined as she knew she was in trouble and Jaune nodded victoriously.

Jaune: Ruh-Roh.

Ligers: Yep she screwed.

Ruby: She is toasted.

Coco: Poor Velvet.

Velvet: Hey!

As Velvet whined everyone went back to screen and the scene shows both Jaune and Velvet holding tickets and walking towards the prize area.

Jaune: The limited-edition Voltron: Defender of the Universe ring, por favor.

Ruby: What the heck is Voltron?

Ligers: An old cartoon show where the plot is where five pilotes driving mechanical Lions form up to create a giant badass robot to save the universe from an evil space wizard I believe.

Ruby: That sounds cool. I want to see that.

Yang: Same.

Weiss: Of course you two would want to see that.

Epsilon: Weiss~

Weiss shut her mouth real quick.

Ligers: Hey it's better than your lame ass concerts now shut up and watch the screen.

Jaune is seen dumping a handful of tickets on the redemption counter.

Jaune: I've had my eye on this bad boy for a while now.

He then knelt in front of the glass and looked at the rings.

Velvet: And I will take the pencil eraser.

Velvet handed the worker her seven tickets.

Arcade Workee: Alright.

The worker presented Jaune his ring.

Arcade Worker: You are now the protector of the planet Arus.

The worker then handed Velvet her eraser.

Arcade Worker: And you can erase stuff written in pencil.

Jaune held out his arm which Velvet  took his arm and they both started walking away.

Velvets: Well, I hate to break it to you but your 48minutes are up.

"Hey," Jaune took off his ring, "How many more minutes can I get for this? FYI, five mini-lion bots come together to form one super-bot, so..."

When Jaune said that Velvet stopped dead in her tracks.

Velvet: Five mini-lion bots.

Velvet she gasped which then went back to normal and said.

Velvet: Three minutes.

Jaune: Deal.

Jaune slipped the ring on her finger.

Jaune: So what do we do with the 2minutes 37seconds?

Velvet: Cuddle

Velvet said and shrugged.

Velvet: So we're just going to hug?

Ligers: Not exactly.

Coco: Then wha-

Coco stops speaking and sees what was on the screen.

The scene changes to Jaune's apartment where inside Velvet was slammed naked against the wall, with a sexy naked Jaune pinning her to the wall. Velvet moans grew louder as well as Jaune as he thrust into her.

At first there was silence, silence before the storm. Pyyhra and ruby each became a blushing angry mess. Velvet fell over and curled up in a ball, a blushing mess. The boys in the room began to clap.

Ligers: Haha, oh man look at the girl she is blushing like hell.

As Velvet and Jaune continued having sex. Velvet  threw Jaune on the bed and straddled him while the scene changed and the bed now had rose petals on it while Velvet's hair was now longer, and Jaune could be seen guiding his hands up on Velvet's body and then start fondling her breasts. Velvet lean heard head down to Jaune's ear whispered into his ear.

Velvet: Happy Valentines Day~

Ligers: Nice.

Velvet: were still together? That's nice I guess.

The boys in the room began to clap louder.

Jaune kept thrusting, he rolled Velvet over and her hairstyle changed again and could be seen on all fours while Jaune was behind her and kept thrusting into her but stops and leans his down to Velvet's ear and then kissed it and then her which she kissed back and then smiled at her.

Jaune: Happy Mistralian New Year Velvet.

As Jaune said that he went back to thrusting into Velvet.

Velvet: Year of the dogggggg!

Velvet didn't finish her sentence as Jaune went back to thrusting into her.

Velvet basically passed out from embarrassment as most girls in the room were beginning to follow suit. The bois clapping grew to an all time high.

The scene then changes, this time Jaune was seen on all fours while Velvet was behind him. She could be seen smiling and licking her lips and then she leaned down and bit his ear.

Velvet: Relax baby and Happy International Women's Day.

Velvet then grabs Jaune's ass and tightens the belt she was wearing and thrusted into Jaune. Which Jaune starts shaking his head.

Jaune: Yeah, no, no, no.

Ligers: The horror of being pegged.

Ligers said as he clenched his buttocks and covered his ass with his hands as well as the rest of the guys.

The scene then changes to Jaune and Velvet sitting across from one another both reading books in their apparent complex which Jaune then turns his head towards Velvet and smiles at her.

Jaune: Happy Lent.

Velvet then responded to Jaune and blew him a kiss for response.

The next scene then showed Velvet on her back in a sexy black lacy bra moaning from pleasure until her face turned into pain and her moans stopped.

Velvet: Jaune! *In a angry voice*

Jaune: Sorry!

Jaune head then came out from under the sheet with plastic vampire teeth which he then spits out.

Jaune: Happy Halloween.

This made Velvet giggle and pull Jaune up to her face and the scene transitioned into Jaune slamming Velvet onto a table of food which she then grabbed some mash patatas and forced it into Jaune's mouth as he thrusted into her.

Ligers: Don't worry this is the last of the sex scene. Also to the readers you better say thank you for me putting in the sex scene because I had to fucking rewatch the fucking movie and then fine most of the script for deadpool as well as check some other fanfics just to make sure I am writing this correctly and let me it ain't easy man! Anyway back to the screen.

Ligers said looking at the readers.

Epsilon: They better be grateful of you, cuz there was no chance In hell I was doing this!

The scene shows a red shirt Jaune is wearing and is only showing his upper torso.

Ruby: Why is the camera only showing his upper torso?

Ligers: The reason is that Jaune is not wearing pants and I know that the guys and some of the girls do not want to see someone's dick and balls on the screen unless it's a porno.

Epsilon: Well, some girls would, but I won't name names.

Ligers: See now onwards.

Jaune: If your left leg is Thanksgiving.

The camera showed Velvet was laying on the bed with a sheet covering her body.

And your right is Christmas, can I visit you between holidays?

Jaune then yanked off the sheet revealing her in a Snowman's sweater, which he gasped happily.

Jaune: Aww, that sweater is terrible! Red looks good on you.

Jaune said, which Velvet smiled.

Velvet: Red's your color.

She then pushed Jaune with her foot.

Velvet: It brings out the bloodshot in your eyes.

Jaune: Listen, I've been thinking.

Velvet: Really?

Jauen: About why we're so good together.

Jaune said and Velvet sat up.

Velvet: Why's that?

Velvet asked which Jaune response was.

Jaune: Your crazy matches my crazy. *nods his head* Big time.

Velvet nodded in agreement and Jaune then kept talking.

Jaune: And, we're like two jigsaw pieces, you know, the weird curvy edges...

Velvet cuts him off and finishes his sentence.

Velvet: When you put them together and you can see the picture on top.

Velvet said, which Jaune nodded.

Jaune: Right.

Velvet: Jaune.

Velvet is seen coming closer to Jaune and wraps her arms around his neck.

Velvet: There's something I wanna ask you. But only because you haven't gotten around to asking me. Will you um stick it my....

Velvet was then cut off by Jaune.

Jaune: Marry me?

Jaune said and held up a ring pop which makes Velvet silent for a bit.

Velvet: Uh, Jinx?

Velvet said while having a really bad smile which she then looked confused where the ring came from.

Velvet: Where were you hiding that?"

Jaune immediately answered Velvet's question.

Jaune: Nowhere.

The camera zoomed out revealing Jaune's bare ass.

When the camera showed Jaune's ass Ligers and Epsilon started laughing.

Ligers: Ring pop more like ass pop.

Epsilon: Goddamn legend!

Weiss: That is disgusting!

Ligers: Well it may be unsanitary Miss Semen but it's love which I have to say you don't have.

Weiss: I have a boyfriend.

Ligers: So does he take the time to ask how you have been, or maybe go the extra mile to make you feel special and be there when you need him.

When Ligers said that it made Neptune angry.

Neptune: Hey, I do-

Ligers: Shut it Neptune or I tell everyone why you're scared of Water and that little detour you had in Vale two week before being transported here into the theater.

Neptune eyes widen that Ligers know his secret why he is scared of water as well as that detour.

Neptune: You wouldn't dare.

Ligers: I would so shut up. Now as I was saying Weiss you don't know what love is you know why because you never received it and Winter doesn't say anything that tough love shit doesn't help when you have a father who is abusive! Weiss needed you but all you cared about was being Ironwood's lap dog instead of watching out for your family and I mean look what happened to Whitely he is like Jacques! You and Weiss are a disgrace of being called older sisters and what's worse you don't do anything to stop your father from abusing your mother! I mean look what happened to Willow she is fucking drowning herself in alcohol like Qrow!

Ligers was now furious and Epsilon put his hand on his shoulder to calm him down which works.

Epsilon: Hey buddy your getting a bit worked up here, SO CALM THE FUCK DOWN!

Ligers: Sorry, I am just having one of those days. Let's just get back to watching the screen.

Jaune: They say one month's salary so.

Velvet: You mean?

Jaune: I do.

Velvet then smiled at Jaune.

Velvet: That's my line * kisses him* I love you Jaune Arc.

Velvet: I am getting married in this universe.

Pyrrha: He should be with me.

Ruby growled but said nothing.

Ligers: Quite you two let Velvet have this I mean shit not a lot people ship Velvet with Jaune. So I call this a win.

Jaune was now thoroughly confused.

Jaune: You're supposed to...So that's a...

Velvet: Yes!

Velvet said and cheered as she put on the ring. Jaune then released his breath and began cheering as well.

Jaune: I feel just like a little girl!

Jaune then starts to snuggle up to Velvet.

Velvet: What if I just held you and never let you go?

Velvet: Just ride a bitch's back like Yoda on Luke.

Velvet said and smiled.

Jaune: Star Wars jokes.

Jaune said and smiled and closed his eyes.

Velvet: Empire.

Velvet said which makes Jaune happy.

Jaune: Holy God it's like I made you in a computer.

Jaune then kissed Velvet and then grabbed the instant camera on the nightstand and took a picture of both of them. Velvet then grabs the picture and starts shaking it.

Jaune: Shake it, alright wee, break.

Jaune got up and went to the bathroom and Jaune then started to narrate.

Jaune: Here's the thing life is an endless series of train-wrecks with only brief commercial-like breaks of happiness. This had been the ultimate commercial break.

Jaune then took off his sweater revealing his muscular frame as he stood at the edge of the bed which Jaune then continued to narrate.

Jaune: Which meant it was time to return to our regularly scheduled program.

Jaune: What the fuck?

Jaune whispered as he passed out onto the floor.

Velvet: Oh, my god Jaune?!

Velvet leapt off the bed to his side and checked on Jaune to see what was wrong.

The screen then freezes and everyone is confused.

Epsilon: Aaaaahh were 10.000 words.

View: Well dam, it's been a while since we have one of these.

Ligers: Shit, well this has now become a 2 parter.

Ligers then hears his phone ringing and answers it and then cancels the call.

Liger: Never mind a 3 part so this is going to be episode type shit so yeah well then see yeah next time on Jaune as Deadpool. Yo buddy I have to leave I will have to go help to fix part 2 and then 3 so you have to wait so see yeah.

Ligers then gets up and opens a portal and walks into the portal.