Ruby: so what's next?

View flew to his library, grabbed a disk, and went to put it in

View: Today we are watching the continuation of the last one.

Goodwitch: there's more? What else could there be?

View: you'll see

The scene opens on suction cup man in what looks to be an interrogation room

Jaune: so do either of you wanna tell me why you kidnapped me?

One of the two guards spoke to suction cup man

Guard: Please remain calm sir

Jaune stood up and began to suction cup climb on the wall

Jaune: you can't keep suction cup man trapped! I'll suction cup my way out eventually!

Blake; he's in a closed room, how would h-

Sun cut her off

Sun: Hes suction cup man! He can do whatever he wants!

A man with blond hair, suspiciously orange looking man walked in

(Note: I am not trying to be political, this is all for the sake of comedy)

Trump: Are you suction cup man?

Jaune: maybe, fuck you who wants to know?

Trump: I am the president of the United States

Suction cup man paused and raised his eye brows

Jaune: yeah fuck you.

Ironwood: the United States? I've never heard of them

View: they are a large country in the original universe, think of them as the equivalent of atlas.

Winter: his lack of respect, he's talking to his superior!

Opzin: I think it's evident by all that's happened that suction cup man has no respect for anyone other then himself.

Trump: you've done a lot of bad with your suction cups mr man.

Jaune smiled

Jaune: Yeah tell me about it.

Trump: but we think you can do some good with them to.

Jaune looked shocked for a second

Jaune: you think I'm capable of good? Just last week some asswanker almost died trying to fight me on the side of his tower!

Yang: so uncle Qrow didn't die, that's a relief.

Trump: I understand you think your suction cups can only bring destruction and sadness.

Jaune: What? Fuck no it was hilarious!

Nora: it was!

Ren: Nora! That's rude!

Nora: what? It was funny!

Trump: still I think it's in your best interest to cooperate.

Trump points to the guards behind him and Jaune narrowed his eyes

Jaune: Fine I'm listening but still fuck you.

Trump lays some images out of a large Missile, with a big radioactive sign on it.

Mercury sat up, now interested in what he saw on screen

Mercury: that's one big bomb.

Cinder: and it's radioactive, a powerful weapon, long range perhaps?

Trump; these photos were taken in North Korea. We believe they are creating their biggest missile yet. It's uge

Velvet: Uge? Does he mean huge?

View: Technically, but he says it a weird way.

Trump: and signs seem to point to an attack on the US.

Jaune: do you honestly think that north koreas stupid enough to attack the US?

Trump took a bug breath in

Trump: Yeah

Jaune: oh.

Weiss: surely they know an all out war won't be beneficial for either side.

Blake: They probably don't care, as long as they get to attack their enemies and hurt them.

Opzin nodded along with Blake's words

Ozpin: people are often blinded by hatred, and cannot see the logical side of things.

Trump pointed to one of the close ups on the missile

Trump: we have located a hatch that gives easy access to the warhead, where it can be disarmed. And this is where you come in Mr man

Suction cup man nods along

Trump: you see the hatch is really high up, and frankly, that would be a really expensive ladder.

Summer: that's why they're hiring him?

Tai chuckled

Tai: talk about being lazy.

Suction man nodded and smiled

Jaune: so, what's in it for me?

Trump put a piece of paper on the table

Trump: we will give you one Free suction cup climb, on anything you wish.

Jaune smiled

Jaune: Are you sure your ready to give me that kind of power?

Trump turned to look out the double sided glass next to him

Trump: We've heard rumors mr suction, can you, die?

Suction cup man shook his head

Jaune: you can't kill suction cup man.

Weiss: how does that even work?

Blake chuckled

Blake: I guess the only logic in this world is that 'you can't kill suction cup man'

Trump: then I believe we have a deal

Suction cup man smiled And signed the document infront of him

Jaune: Fuck yeah let's start WW3!

Ren: he seems rather happy about staring a war.

Sun laughed

Sun: he's suction cup man! He can do what he wants! What are you gonna do, kill him?

The scene changes to a man sitting in what looks to be a control room, he looks up as he hears a weird noise. He runs outside and yells

Kin: What the fuck are you doing?

Jaune yelled back down from halfway up the missile

Jaune: Climbing your missile with suction cups dumbass, what do you think?

Kin stomped his feet

Kin: why my missile?

Jaune: why not your missile?

Pyyhra: this seems, familiar

Ruby: It's the same conversation isn't it?

Velvet: how many times does this happen?

Kin: your delaying my plans to bomb America!

Jaune rolled his eyes

Jaune: I'll delay your plans all I want! Look at me go!

Kin: Don't you dare disarm my missile!

Neptune jumped up

Neptune: YOU CANT STOP HIM HES SUCTION CUP MAN!

Jaune: No fuck you!

Kin: fuck you!

Jaune: and fuck you right back you fucking dumpling!

Kin: do you have any idea who your talking to? I am the leader of this nation, I'm these peoples god! I will have your head on a stick-

Jaune: hey I wrote you a song!

Pyyhra sighed

Pyyhra: not again.

Kin looked confused

Kin: what?

Jaune grabbed a guitar from FUCKING NOWHERE and played it

Jaune: it goes something like this.

He played a few cords

Jaune: your a bitch!

The two stared at each other for a few moments

Kin attempts to speak only for Jaune to keep singing

Jaune: Oh your a bitch a bitch a bitch a bitch a bitch!

Goodwitch rolled her eyes

Goodwitch: What a great song.

Kin: Get the fuck of my missile!

Jaune: I can't!

Kin: why the hell not?

Jaune : Can't have you starting wars Dumbass!

Kin: Your kinda starting one right now and it's pissing me off!

Jaune shrugged

Jaune: Probably doesn't help that I was hired by the American government!

Coco: wasn't this supposed to be a covert mission? So much for that.

Kin was not fuming

Kin: Ahhhh! You American dogs!

Jaune: Ah that got you real angry didn't it?

Kin: Godammit!

Jaune: Yep, I've really pissed him off.

Kin: that does it! No more stalling! I'm launching the missile!

Kin ran back inside and pressed the launch button

Jaune: Uh oh.

Yang laughed at the site while ruby yelled at the screen

Ruby: You can't die! What are you worried about?

The missile launched and Jaune started to rapidly climb and curse

Jaune: Oh shit oh fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

Jaune got to the panel and just tore out every single wire

Raven Crossed her arms

Raven: There's no way that worked

The missile landed rather lamely on the ground, and kin was furious, until he saw 4 bright red suction cups on the missiles side

Kin: You may have delayed my plans this time man of suction, but you won't be around to sto- OH FUCK

Kin then sees suction cup man floating down in the air with his parachute playing his guitar

Jaune: Oh your a bitch! Your a biiiiiiitch! Your a bitch!

Kin looks extremely pissed and just so done with everything as suction cup man floats away

Jaune: thanks North Korea your been horrible, fuck off!

Raven face palmed

Raven: I can't believe that actually worked.

The scene changes to Qrow laying on a stretcher in a full body caste, he is awoken by a strange noise coming from outside his window. He looks out the window in horror to see Suction cup man on his window

Jaune: how's it going my no bones?

Qrow: Ha! He's back!

Summer: Poor other Qrow

Qrow: Jesus Christ! What the fuck is your problem?

Jaune: I haven't seen you since last fall!

Yangs smile widened

Yang: Was that a-

Ruby: No!

Yang: I think it was a

Weiss: No!

Yang: He totally just said a-

Blake: No!

Yang: A PUN!

Qrow: Nurse! Nurse!

Jaune puts his pardon on the window

Jaune: Presidential pardon, you can't do shit! Look at me go!

Qrow: AAAHHHHHHHHHHHHGGHH!