Chapter Twenty Seven: To War, The Man Says

I felt terrible. God awful. What had happened? It had been a normal day. Me, my boyfriend Jake, and my friends were hanging out at Lake Mary, a small place that freezes over this time of the year. We decided to go ice skating, to help pass the weekend. The five of us were out on the lake, just letting time go by.

I took Jake in my hands, and we spun, myself looking deep into his brown eyes. I could get lost in those eyes forever. That's when Haleigh cut between us, yelling, "Get a room you two."

"Whatever Haleigh. Just let us be us." Jake threw his arm around me, and we did a lap around our section. The ice was dangerous farther off, so it was important to stay in the safe side. Ian was skating circles around all of us, making me feel bad about my abilities.

"I wish I was that good," I murmured, tugging Jake's coat. "Sometimes I don't feel as good around you guy's, you know?"

Jake looked hurt. "Jamie, you can do anything if you put your mind to it. Don't feel bad. I believe in you."

Oh, how was I lucky enough to get such a wonderful boyfriend. I blushed. "Really, you think so?"

"I know so. Go on, try out some moves."

I nodded, and skated away from him. The others watched as well, encouraging me to try a trick. With their support, I knew I could do it.

I started off just with something I could handle. Small circles and figure eights, classic, real things I could do. Then with something I thought was more advance, skating backwards and twirling. Everyone started cheering, even Ian! This felt amazing.

With more spins and twists, I decided to get bold. I went back to Jake, pecking his cheek with my lips, before skating off and gaining some real speed. I pushed myself, thinking about impressing the man I loved. High school would just be unbearable without him.

I kept going, and when it felt right, I leaped into the air. The cheers made me smile.

Then I hit the ice, and everything changed.

All of a sudden I was wet, and couldn't breath, water getting into my lungs. Oh, the water was so cold. Freezing! I was panicking, trying to swim, but I was disorientated and my body wasn't working right. I couldn't see ice, or anyone, just blank grey sky.

I heard some voices, but they were muffled as I went underwater. Without any air, my vision started going black. The water submerged me, and now I only saw darkness.

It was quiet for such a long time. Too long. I shook with fear. Where was I? Did I die?

"What do you want?" A voice asked, sounding cold like the ice. Yet, also rather.....sincere. "Hey, what do you want?"

"I.....I want to be not afraid," I said, trembling with fear. Is this heaven? Hell? Where was I? "Please. No more fear."

"That's not the right answer. Isn't there someone else who can prep you guys?" Now it sounded annoyed. "Listen, the answer isn't that. It's more......universal, in what someone wants when they die. So go on. Ask."

"I don't understand!" I yelled, but then my memories came back, every single one of my life. Every good thing. Every bad. And it hurt. I clutched my chest. Oh, the hurt was the worst thing I've ever experienced. It was overwhelming. It was like hell, if hell was my life shown in a movie theater. "The pain. I want it to stop. Make it go away."

"That's not it. Closer. Think more, religiously. Christianity type stuff. Come on, I'm giving you every single clue here. You gotta ask for it. I can't tell you."

I didn't know what else--oh, wait. Universal. Religious. The taking away of pain.

I knew now.

"I want forgiveness!" My voice screeched, sounding pathetic, but if it made the memories go away, then no matter. "Please! Give me forgiveness!"

"Ah. There we go." The voice then sounded so loving, I thought I would never get hurt again. "You are forgiven. Now get your shit memories and get out. I'm tired of looking at them."

There was a bright light all of a sudden, and I felt at peace.

XXXX

It was time. I gathered up my friends, and I knew this war council was legit. The true actions of war would be taking place after this meeting. And I the general who lead them. Which is probably not the smartest idea, considering my appreciation for life is rather thin. But I guess I will be efficient then, won't I?

Oh, I truly am a demon.

Buddy leaned back with a beer, slurping rather loudly. I frowned. "Since when do you make such appalling noise?"

"Since I became a soldier in your battle. Your notion of war." His pretty lashes blinked, not apologetic at all. "So I plan on doing what I want from now on."

"Aren't you a fully grown adult? Can't you do that anyways?"

Paul acted as cool as ever. "He's baby."

"I am not!" Buddy growled, looking away. "I am an adult. I pay my taxes."

"I don't," said Fina. I choked, but she didn't even budge. "Assassins do as they please."

We were getting off topic. I reigned in everyone's attention. "Guys. From now until this whole Witch debacle is over, I'm afraid I must ask you to be serious. Our jobs from here on out will mean life or death."

Sasha sighed, as though she wished for only a clear summer day. "Then what is said plan?"

"Thank you for asking," I said, taking out a blue college-ruled notebook. I turned to the second page. "Sasha, you need to keep the councillors from going to war with each other. For as long as possible. Water District must become a safe haven. Do whatever it takes."

The witch gave a tiny head nod, the responsibility much more daunting in actuality than on paper. But with our new council, I believe we can stop conflict for at least a few months. Sasha could convince even a brute to be calm. And a few months is all I need.

"Buddy, gather your friends, and go to more pack rest stops. See how many travelling packs are heading for battle. See if there are more Aids or shamans using that disgusting ritual to create more unendings. I want as close estimates as possible. And if you can kill any, that's great. But don't get into harm's way. Stay safe friend."

I placed ghosts all over the city, especially around Sasha's house, to watch for threats and spies. We are dealing with an enemy with vast resources. If I can spot trouble before hand, it will make my life easier.

"Fina. Track down other city councillors. I have a list of what cities I want first. We are to try and silence as many corrupted as possible. I will try to contact the Network. I'm still owed a favor. Or two. I can't remember."

I doubt the Network is corrupted. From the Witch as least. Those bastards won't take orders from outside forces. Favors they do. Not commands.

"Paul. Uh, basically keep doing what you've been doing. Except contact this list here." I slid it over to him. "These are some contacts. We need our own spies, and while I know you can hack anything, I need eyes on the ground as well."

Vampires are too chill to be out and about. So they've learned the secret to life--using technology is easier than doing things yourself.

"As for I, I plan on sending more ghosts out. Recruiting more heroes and friends. An army if you will." This is the part that might piss them off. "And most likely going to the Light Layer. The magi are key, and I need to find out who is fighting with the Witch."

I knew that was going to get some angry faces. Sasha stood in a flurry. "What!? Are you serious Ditto? You plan on leaving us? To go to a place where your odds of dying sky rocket?"

"Hey, I know it's not ideal. But the Sleeping Witch is far from making any real plays yet." And as long as I'm alive, the Witch's victory is non-existent. Now, granted, there will be a lot of bloodshed, but I could care less. The world has seen pain before, and as long as she doesn't revive her powers, we'll recover.

"That's not the problem," Fina said. "You are needed here. If you haven't noticed, it's not like the rest of us have the ability to do whatever the hell we want and get away with it. We don't have that kind of power."

"It's as you said before. What if the angels go on attack? What if another pack shows up? An army of fae?" Buddy added, frowning with contempt. "I hate to admit this, but you're probably the strongest Hidden in at least Water District, if not this half of North American Province."

Well, that's not true if Tyrion is still in this half of North America. That bastard will most definitely be a real issue. The Alpha Pack is far more dangerous than any army I can produce.

For now.

"That's no matter. The magi are the biggest piece, are the difference between success and defeat." I looked at the next page in my notebook. "The Witch wants blood. Caller blood. They will be sacrificed somehow. And as much as I don't like the magi, they can't be pawns. Not if I can help it."

"Wait a minute," said Halina. "I thought you said you can't even enter the Light Layer."

Shrugging, I said, "Not without special permission. It's possible. Just a bitch. The Bitch Layer sucks."

"Fine," Paul said casually. "How long?"

"A month at most."

Fina groaned. "God Ditto. You expect us to live that long?"

"Uh, yes?"

She smiled. "You dirty bastard. Stop having so much confidence in us."

"What can I say? I picked the best friends a man can get." Though, even friends can suffer when an army is knocking on your doorstep. "I'll make some calls. Get some people down here. It's time for me to work my magic."

"Ew. No, don't do that," Sasha said. "I'll make some calls. Don't worry. Once you leave, we'll handle what we can."

I looked at each of my friends, who each gave me longing looks in return. I smiled. "Very well. I pray that our enemies ask for mercy. Because I for one think that mercy will be needed."

There was a 'here here' said, and I adjourned the meeting. And I knew that for once in my pitiful life, someone was on my side.

One man now became a group, and with nothing holding me back, well, let's just say even the old gods themselves would be scared.

XXXX

Halina and I walked along a path down by the lake side. The waves were crashing with the strong breeze, the green-tinted water looking rather ominous. Do lakes have dreams? Do they have aspirations? Huh, doubt it.

We came up to a bench, and sat down, watching the sun begin it's descent into the horizon. I wrapped my jacket closer, not wanting to give that much of my heat to the world. It's far to greedy and I don't feel like sharing.

"Does it really have to come to this?" Halina asked, adjusting her beanie hat to cover her forehead. "Will you really be waging a war for the fate of the world?"

"I suppose so, yes. The Witch doesn't follow the rules. Which means anything goes," I said, hating the taste on my tongue. What is this bullshit truth? I hate it. "The humans will feel the effects if I don't do something. And they won't stand a chance."

I paused for a moment, then said, "I think it might be best if you left. If you went back home, or to Nicki's for a while. Somewhere. Just not here."

"No."

I shook my head, "Listen, I can't just--"

"--No," she responded. "I'm in this now. And I will not quit. I know I might not be able to do much, but you need someone to keep you under control. I'll see this through."

God, so much determination. But determination is not enough to win. What are we, children?

"Okay Miss Writer. I'll let you see this out." Yet my eyes couldn't meet hers. "You need to know though. You are going to see me do things, and hear stories from others, that I can't apologize for. But I will always regret, and never approve of. If--if you find me a monster, I don't blame you."

"Not everyone is perfect."

Huh. Not the best attitude to have when she sees me start to slaughter. "Whatever."

I watched the sand shift, uncolored rocks making the lake look as pathetic and lifeless as my heart. Which is both good and bad. Probably. Good in that it makes doing not so nice acts easier. Bad in that it makes doing not so nice acts easier.

"So what reasons are you fighting for Ditto?" she asked. "And why are you going to the Light Layer?"

You mean, besides guilt?

"Beats me. I am a hero. Or at least good at pretending. What else is there for a man who really has nothing to lose? Oh, and immortality is a no no, so someone needs to put her back in proper place." I leaned on the woman, who didn't move. "The Light Layer has been influenced by the Witch. While I must find out its severity, there is something else. The magi have a strong sense of honor and justice, one that borders on elitism. I have no doubt in my mind that some high up was asked, and said no. Revolted, and is now leading some sort of counter insurgency. Probably small. But even so."

It was a chance, one that meant soldiers and access to arms I can't get to. The magi are bred to fight, and if given a little push, their fighting spirit can be pointed at whatever. Believe me, my people know.

The sun started to lower, getting ever closer to being devoured by the water. I will miss this sensation. I will miss just getting to breath. Ha! Like you ever got to do that anyways you fool.

Some time went by, and Halina spoke. "It totally never crossed my mind, but why are you called the Man Who Dies for Fun?"

Wow. I haven't been asked that in a long time. "Ugh. Well, for starters, I named myself that. And how I came to said name, basically came to fruition fourteen years ago. When my parents died, I made a promise to myself: to never use necromancy again. I'd seen it hurt and destroy, and I wanted nothing to do with it." My nose ran, so I paused to wipe at it. "I broke that promise a week later. And realized something. I loved necromancy. I loved using it. It was fun. But every time I used my now lone powers, I broke that promise. And it killed me inside. Sending me closer to death. So there you go. The Man Who Dies for Fun."

The woman sat there, ignoring my bony shoulder digging into her body. She watched the sky, a few seagulls braving the cold winds. "You wanna know why I didn't move back with my parents after I got kicked out?"

"Sure. I'm up for a story."

She grunted, as though surprised by the answer. But nonetheless she continued. "Because I betrayed them. Turn my back on them. Going through high school, I didn't want anything to do with our traditions. With my parents being from Kenya, and this country turning its back on outsiders, I thought it best to erase as much of that as possible. I spoke perfect English. I wore the normal fashions. I ate American food. I celebrated their holidays. And ignored my heritage."

Her facial features were sent into a down spiral. "Don't judge me."

"It's not my place to judge," I said. "Never has."

The writer faced me, shock spreading like wildfire. "Then give me advice. Is what I did wrong?"

"Advice huh? Well, to answer your question, only you can do that. You must have a deep conversation with yourself, and if any of the answers have even a shred of doubt, then you are doing something wrong. And must figure out a way to correct it."

A simple nod was all I got, but it looked like she was satisfied. What can a lone man do? Not much, in my opinion. Which is why I fail.

"Do you believe in faith?" I asked suddenly.

She paused momentarily, then shrugged. "I suppose so, yes."

"Well I don't." Closing my eyes, the darkness reminded me of the only thing that mattered. "You know why? I believe in myself. I believe in my abilities, and what I can do. I believe in my friends. And while the two are synonyms, I don't need to believe in outside forces or miracles to succeed. The Layers will never forget the Last War. But they will forget who waged it. A testament to my true powers."

Halina looked content, smirking as though the answer was both sad yet predictable. The blood spilt cannot be taken away. But it can be used, and that's why I will win.

Do you understand?

The woman got up, stretching out her back. "Well, I'm going back. It's getting rather cold out, and I need to warm up."

"Alright Jamie, I'm going to sit here for some time. And simply think."

But she didn't leave. In fact, she looked confused. "You just called me Jamie."

Wait, did I? That can't be right.

"Oh? Sorry, my mind must of blanked there for a second." I waved my hand. "Don't worry about it."

Halina stood there a moment more, then walked off, her shoes not making a sound.

The sun finally set, and light gave way to darkness. And the truth came down like a storm ready to cry for help. But I must never doubt, can I?

Lord knows, forgiveness does not forgive.

I must apologize for the time being, and take a small break from telling the story. For you see,

I'm busy right now.