A bell rang through the house, and Helen straightened from dusting a low bookshelf in the library. She'd never heard that sound before. "Is that a doorbell?" she asked Annie.

"Yes, it is. I wonder who it could be?" Annie said, appearing just as surprised. The bell rang again, and Annie set down her rag. "I better answer it."

She left the room, and Helen followed her down the hall, curious about who had come to the house. During the months she'd lived there, no one had ever come unannounced before.

"Oh, hello," Annie said as she opened the door. "Do you want to come in?"

Helen didn't know who it was, but as Annie pulled the door wider and stepped aside, she saw Kitty. Her thick, dark hair was disheveled and her eyes were red. Oh, no, thought Helen. This had to be about Billy. "Billy isn't here, he's at work," she said, stepping forward.

"I know!" Kitty said, her voice breathless and panicked as she pushed strands of hair out of her eyes. "I tried to call him at the office, but they said he was working in the pit. I came here because I didn't know what to do!"

"Why? What's wrong?" Helen asked with alarm.

"Did he enlist in the army?" she asked, tears welling up in her eyes.

Had he not told her yet? This was terrible. She looked over Kitty's shoulder at Annie, not knowing what to say. Annie returned her gaze with pity and sadness.

"Did he?" Kitty demanded desperately.

"Yes, he did," Helen said gently, trying to soften the blow, but it didn't work. Kitty's face crumpled and she pulled a handkerchief out of the pocket of her dress as she began sobbing.

"Hey, don't cry," Helen said, putting her arm around Kitty's slender shoulders, and Kitty leaned into her, sobbing even harder.

Annie's eyes became red, looking like she was about to cry too while Helen felt her own emotions welling up.

"Let's go in the living room," she said, coaxing Kitty in that direction. "Maybe you could make us some tea?" she asked Annie over her shoulder as she steered the girl to the couch.

"Why didn't he tell me?" Kitty cried as they sat.

"I thought he had," Helen said.

"No! He didn't!" she said, wiping her eyes with the handkerchief. "Yesterday, he dropped me off at home so he could go out with the fellows. I thought he wanted to be alone so he could drink, but today – my friends called and asked about him enlisting. At first I didn't believe them. I said Billy wouldn't do that without telling me! But they insisted it was true. I don't understand," she said as more tears came. "Why did he do it?"

"You should probably ask him," Helen said, rubbing her arm in an attempt to soothe her.

"I can't believe he would do this. Why would he decide to fight in the war? What if something happens to him? What if he gets killed?" She pushed her handkerchief into her eyes while sobs wracked her body again, and Helen put her arms around her, blinking back her own tears.

Billy announcing he'd enlisted the night before had brought back emotions she'd long thought she was getting over. The pain she'd felt when Walt was killed had eased over the last month. But when she'd lain in bed, unable to sleep, it all came back.

First she'd cried for Billy, afraid they might lose him like she'd lost Walt. Then she cried for Walt, her grief for him as strong as ever. And then she'd cried for her baby because it would never have the chance to know its real father. It had been a bad night.

Annie came in, carrying a tray with a covered teapot and two china cups. Seeing her, Kitty straightened and wiped her face.

"I'll be in the kitchen if you need me," Annie said as she set the tray on the coffee table. "I need to get started on dinner."

Helen poured a cup of tea and added milk and sugar while Kitty sniffled. "This will make you feel better," she said, handing it to her.

Kitty blew on it, and then took a sip while Helen poured a cup for herself. "Do you mind – if I ask about Walt?" she asked quietly.

Helen concentrated on setting the pot on the tray, trying to keep her face free of any emotion. "Yes, you can ask."

"Were you afraid he was going to die?" Kitty said, her voice cracking on the last word.

"I was worried about it," Helen said, mixing milk into the steaming cup. "But – I – I still supported his decision." She decided not to continue with what she'd started to say. Kitty didn't need to hear that the pain of losing him was far worse than anything she'd imagined.

"I don't think I can do that. I don't want Billy to go!"

"But he has to go," Helen said forcefully. "And we have to encourage him. Every one of our soldiers is loved by someone. We don't want them to go to war and get hurt, but if they don't fight the Nazis, they'll keep control of Europe and invade England. The Japanese will take over the Pacific, and then they'll come for us. The boys have to fight so we can stop them!"

"I guess," Kitty mumbled to her cup, and then she looked up at Helen, her brown eyes swimming with tears. "I just don't know what I'd do if I lost him. I love him too much."

"You'd go on," Helen said firmly, quickly wiping away a tear. "Because you have to. You're a lot stronger than you think you are – when things like that happen."

Kitty didn't reply, and Helen took a sip of her tea. It was hard swallowing against the lump in her throat, and she examined the pattern of the oriental rug beneath her feet, trying to stop thinking about Walt.

"Was it a hard decision to marry Johnny – when you were still sad about Walt?"

Helen was startled by the question. No one, not even Johnny had asked her what her thoughts were about marrying him. "It – was," she said slowly, turning the question over in her mind. "But if I hadn't made such a bad mistake and needed him to help me, I think we still would have ended up getting married."

Kitty's eyes widened. "You do?"

"Johnny's been in love with me ever since we were in school, and I had a lot of feelings for him back then. After the funeral, he was there for me, and I think I would have started seeing him again... after some time."

"Do you ever feel guilty," Kitty continued. "Like you're hurting Walt by being married to Johnny?"

Helen sighed at her half empty tea cup. She couldn't help wondering if Kitty was asking because she knew it was possible she might be faced with the same situation one day. "Sometimes I felt that way, but I know Walt would have wanted me to move on. He wouldn't want me to be sad for the rest of my life."

"Do you love Johnny now?"

"I do," Helen said, and then forced a smile to hide the pain that stabbed her. "You know, there's more of that apple cake Annie made for Billy's graduation. I bet I could convince her to let us have a slice while we wait for the boys to come home. Would you like that?"

"That would be nice," Kitty said, but her voice was sadder, perhaps because she was thinking of Billy again.

"Good!" Helen said cheerily, patting her knee, and then left the room, grateful to have a few moments alone to collect herself.

She wasn't lying when she'd told Kitty about her feelings for Johnny. She did love him, just as he loved her. He'd been so sweet to her since the day she'd married him, never pushing her to rush things,  always wanting to make sure she was comfortable. It meant everything to her, and over time, she realized she was falling in love with him.

But something held her back from taking that next step and truly becoming his wife.  It was the fear that if she opened her heart to him, he'd break it.

An hour later, the sound of crunching tires on the gravel drive came through the open window. "They're home," she said, and Kitty seemed to sink into the couch. "Will you be alright?"

"I think so," she said, but the pain in her brown eyes let Helen know she wasn't so sure.

She took Kitty's hand, and led her to the foyer to wait. Johnny came in first, and was obviously taken aback that Kitty was there. "Hello," he said, studying her with a furrowed brow. He had to know she'd been crying.  He turned a questioning gaze to Helen, but at that moment Billy came through the door.

When he spotted Kitty, he dropped his head, his dark hair falling across his forehead. "Hi, Kitty," he mumbled to the floor, shoving his hands in his pockets.

Kitty didn't respond, and in the silence, Helen decided she should act. "Johnny, can I get you a drink?" she said, looping her arm through his and practically pulling him into the grand parlor.

"What's going on?" he whispered as they walked to the bar cabinet, but before Helen could say anything, she heard Kitty.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she demanded loudly.

"I was going to tell you tonight," Billy said, his voice apologetic.

"Didn't you think I would find out before now?" she shouted, and Helen could tell she was crying again. "Everyone knew about it except me!"

"Let's go in here," Billy said, and the door to the living room closed.

Helen poured whiskey into a glass and added water.

"You didn't even tell me you were thinking about it!" Kitty cried, her voice muffled through the door.

"I'm sorry! I didn't plan it! It just happened!"

"Poor kid," Helen said, handing Johnny his glass.

"He deserves to be yelled at," Johnny said bitterly, taking a seat on the nearest couch.

"I meant Kitty," Helen said, sitting next to him with a frown.

"Oh, right." He leaned forward, resting his elbows on his legs as the sound of Kitty's sobbing and Billy's pleading filled the room. "What a mess," he said, shaking his head as he contemplated his glass, and then took a long swallow. "He should never have enlisted."

Helen sighed. It was clear Johnny was still angry with his brother, and she didn't blame him. None of them wanted anything to happen to Billy, but she wished he could understand why Billy had done it. She knew she wouldn't have been strong enough to stand by while all her friends put their lives on the line for the country.

Johnny looked up at her with a trace of hope in his eyes. "Maybe she'll be able to get through to him, make him finally come to his senses."

"I wouldn't count on it. I don't think Billy's going to change his mind."

Johnny scowled at his glass. 

Then Annie stuck her head in the room. "Uh, should I hold dinner?" she asked with a pained expression. "I put everything on the table, but I didn't realize–"

"We're not waiting," Johnny said in a clipped tone as he stood. "I'm hungry, and who knows when they'll be finished."

"Alright, well, it's ready."

Johnny held his hand out for Helen, and she took it so he could help her up. In the hallway, Kitty's crying was louder. If Billy was saying anything, she couldn't hear it, and Helen's heart ached for both of them.

Seated at the dining room table, there was a tense silence while Johnny filled their plates. Helen could feel his anger at his brother rolling off him like waves. Meanwhile, her own sadness and grief weighed heavily on her. It took everything she had not to start crying herself.  "How was your day?" she asked, hoping a change of subject might help both of them.

"I spent most of it figuring out how I was going to manage without Billy," Johnny said through his teeth while he attacked his ham steak with a knife. "I'd already moved people into different jobs so he'd be able to take on more responsibilities. That was a waste of time," he said bitterly, and speared a piece of ham with his fork.

Helen took a mouthful of mashed potatoes even though she wasn't hungry. It would probably be best if didn't say more. Johnny needed time to calm down. He'd have to come to terms with Billy's decision eventually, and hopefully he wouldn't be such a bear to be around once he did.

"I'm sorry about dinner," Helen heard behind her, and she twisted in her chair. Billy was standing in the doorway with his shoulders slumped. "I'll join you after I take Kitty home."

Helen looked over at Johnny, expecting him to answer, but he kept his attention on his plate with his jaw clenched.

"Oh, okay," she said, turning in her chair to answer for him. "I'll have Annie keep a plate warm for you."

Billy looked at his brother for a long moment, and then mumbled a thanks before dropping his head as he left.

After he was gone, Helen started to rise. "I should get his plate together now," she said, but Johnny put his hand on her arm.

"Don't bother. I have a feeling he's going to be a while."

She sat back in her chair. "Why do you think that?"

"Kitty's father will have a few things to say about Billy not telling her he'd enlisted."

"Oh, I didn't think about that," Helen said, feeling bad for him as she thought of what was waiting for him at Kitty's home.

"Father's don't take kindly to their daughters being mistreated by boys," Johnny said sharply, and Helen looked at him with surprise.

It was the first time he'd said anything about parenting or children since she'd been married to him, and she couldn't help the question that popped in her head. If she had a little girl, would he protect her like Kitty's father? Or would he not care if a boy mistreated her because she wasn't his child? She dropped her eyes to her plate as the fears that had been torturing her for weeks rushed back.

Johnny had promised to raise her baby as his own when he'd asked her to marry him, but he'd never said he'd love it. In fact, he'd never mentioned the baby once since the day they'd married. She had no idea what he felt about the baby, or even how he felt about becoming a father.

Even though her baby was barely large enough to feel, she already loved it with an intensity she'd never felt before. It was the reason she'd agreed to marry Johnny even though she was still grieving for Walt. His promise to protect both of them had been like a life preserver, and she'd grabbed onto it with both hands. She didn't regret her decision, especially because Johnny had been so attentive.  But as time passed and she grew closer to him, she began to worry about what the future held for the three of them.

She wanted to ask him outright what his feelings were, but she was afraid what his answer might be. What if he admitted he had no intention of loving her baby – that giving it a name and a place in society was as much as he was willing to provide? It would be devastating to know she was going to be raising her child in a home where one parent would never love it.

There was the possibility he'd tell her exactly what she wanted to hear, but what if it was because he didn't want to hurt her by telling the truth? It's possible he intended to be a real father and love her child. But after it was born, the reality that it wasn't his could be too much for him to overcome, and he'd reject it.

While Johnny continued to eat his dinner, the questions swirled in her mind and she set her fork down, no longer able to pretend she was interested in eating. Ever since she'd realized she was falling in love with him, she'd felt she was in a terrible bind. She wanted to be the wife he wanted and deserved. But if she opened her heart like she longed to and he treated her child with indifference or outright contempt, it would be as if he was rejecting her too, and she didn't think she could stand the pain.

****

I know this chapter was a while in coming, so I hope getting the entire chapter in Helen's POV made it worth the wait.  I didn't intend to introduce her this early in the story, but I some things come up that prevented me from writing, which gave me time to think.  And that resulted in the big idea of doing this chapter in her voice. 

The family is in a bit of a shambles after Billy's rash decision, which means everyone is pretty unhappy.  Kitty and Billy are in the same position Helen and Walt were when he enlisted, and that could result in any number of possible outcomes.  It doesn't look like Jonathon is anywhere close to forgiving his brother.  Meanwhile, he doesn't seem to catch on that Helen is overwhelmed with sad memories on top of the worries about her relationship with him.  What's going to happen?  I can't wait to hear what you think!

Two bits of news for the reason why this chapter was delayed.  First, I had the chance to visit the wonderful Wattpad headquarters in Toronto, Canada a week ago.  It's quite a place, and if you would like to see the pictures I took, check out my Instagram account  at katherinearlene.  Also, I sometimes write book reviews for Knitty.com, which is what I was doing the week prior to my trip.  If you are a frequenter of that site, and see a review with KG at the bottom, that's me.  :)