Chapter Eight

To The Moon And Back

"Shit!" nagmamadali akong napaalis sa balcony habang naniningkit ang mga mata dahil sa kahihiyan pero bago pa ako makapag-sorry ay agad nang pinatay ng pinsan ko ang linya.

Malakas ang kalampag ng puso ko habang palapit sa aking kama. Halos batukan ko ang sarili sa nangyari. I wanted to relive our locking eyes, but I need to talk to Damien first. Iyon nga lang, parang imposible na 'yon nang dumating ang isang mensahe galing sa kanya.

Damdam:

Please don't update me anything about your sexual life or everything with that matter. Finish that before talking to me.

Nasapo ko ang aking noo. He thought I was having sex! Kasalanan ko. Nagmamadali akong nagtipa ng reply.

Ako:

I'm just at home, Damien. It was just a mistake and I'm sorry. Kaya kita tinawagan ay dahil gusto kong mag-apologize sa mga nagawa ko. I know you are still mad at me and I'm sorry. You're probably tired of me too, but please don't hate me. You're all I've got and I have a big problem now. I need you.

Matagal bago siya nag-reply. Nawalan na nga ako ng pag-asa pero mabuti ay hindi pa rin ako natiis. He replied an hour after my message.

Damdam:

What is it?

Ako:

You'll see tomorrow.

Damdam:

What is it, Saryna? Tell me now.

Ako:

Daddy got me a bodyguard.

Damdam:

So? Since when did that became a problem? You are Saryna. You can have everything that you want. Even your freedom.

Ako:

I don't think I can do that this time. I don't think I can get rid of this man. He looked serious and loyal to my parents. He's basically the man you can't bribe and I don't think my charm could help me lose his job.

Damdam:

Then congratulations. You've finally lost.

Napabuntong-hininga ako sa sagot niya. Kahit na alam kong nag-aalala pa rin sa akin si Damien ay gaya ng buong pamilya ko'y pagod na rin ito sa pagkastigo sa akin.

Ako:

Hindi mo ba ako tutulungan na matanggal siya sa trabaho? You know I don't need a bodyguard.

Damdam:

You don't know what I think you need, Saryna. You'll not like it if you knew.

Ako:

I know you are still mad, but please help me Damdam. I am your cousin and you have to be always on my side.

Damdam:

I'm sorry, but I don't know about that now. Auntie Soraia was right, you've really gone too far. Lahat na nag-aalala sa 'yo. You've done a lot of mistakes and it seems like you haven't learn a thing.

Ako:

I'm sorry, alright? But please, you know that I don't need a bodyguard. Kaya ko ang sarili ko and you know that.

Damdam:

What if that's what best for everyone? Especially to you? What if this time you'll learn how to listen to your family? What if that's the only thing for you to finally learn?

Parang gusto ko nang maiyak sa mga pinagsasasabi niya. Imbes na mag-reply ay nagbihis na lang ako. I know Damien will not be as hard as rock if I talk to him in person. Iyon ang ginawa ko pero hindi ko inasahan ang pagsulpot ng aking bodyguard bago ko pa malapitan ang aking sasakyan. I tried opening my car, but he has a spare key! A fucking spare key of my own car and he was locking it!

"What the hell are you doing?!" iritadong singhal ko habang magkasalubong kami.

I could now smell coffee, mint, and blueberry on his system. Gano'n pa rin ang ayos niya at hindi ko maiwasang mapatitig sa ibaba ng kanyang gray sweat pants! Kahit na mukhang tulog ay may kung ano pa ring bumubukol na malaki doon!

Is he that... big?

He cleared his throat. Dama ko ang pagkalat ng init sa aking mukha dahil sa kanyang ginawa. Marahas kong na ibinalik ang mga mata sa kanyang mukha. Now that he was not wearing a suit and was in front of me with his built and hard muscles visible to my eyes, I couldn't help but to admire him more while being a bit intimidated. He was damn tall. Tingin ko'y kasing-tangkad ni daddy o higit pa ng ilang inches. I got my height from my parents and I am already tall, but beside him I looked like a baby.

"Good evening, Miss Saryna. May I know where you are heading?"

Napalunok ako nang marinig muli ang diretso't nakakapanayong balahibong boses at accent na 'yon. His voice was deep and impossible to missed stirring your insides. Pinigilan kong mapalunok dahil doon. I also stepped back, hindi ko kinakaya ang presensiya niya. He was a soldier at kahit na mukhang wala siyang kung anong armas na dala ay patay na patay na ako. I shook my head to knock some senses out of me. Pinagtaasan ko siya ng kilay.

"And who are you to ask me that question? You are just my bodyguard and I tell you when I need you. Hindi ko gustong makialam ka sa mga lakad at desisyon ko sa buhay so please get out of my way." I spat and then walk past him.

Ayaw ko nang marinig pang muli ang boses niya dahil baka tuluyan na akong mahibang.

I thought I already intimidated and shut the devil from hell, but my heart jump out of my throat when the second thing I saw was his hand slamming back the door of my car to prevent me going inside and leave this hell hole!

"What the fuck!" Sigaw ko. Muntik ko na siyang masuntok pero ang mga kamao ko ay biglang natakot sa kanya.

There was something in his presence that keeps me back down! And even though I fucking hate it, wala akong magawa!

"Get out of my way before I fire you! You're already pissing me off!"

Imbes na umalis ay mas lalo lang dumiin ang kamay niya sa pintuan ng aking sasakyan. His veins protruded on his arms. Doon na ako napalunok.

Putang ina!

"I'm sorry, but I can't let you leave this place alone. Tell me where you are going and I'm willing to drive you there."

"Didn't you hear me?! Huwag mo akong pakialam kung ayaw mong mawalan ng trabaho! Siguro naman nakakaintindi ka ng tagalog?!"

Umayos siya ng tayo at saka tumango. "Naiintindihan ko." he said clearly.

Akala ko nakakadiskaril na ang boses niya't tuwid na American accent pero mas lalo yata akong nahibang nang marinig siyang mag-tagalog sa unang pagkakataon! Kinailangan kong muling umatras muli nang gumalaw siya dahil para akong hindi makahinga!

"But unfortunately, you are not my boss. You are not in charge of my employment, but your father. Siya ang nagbigay ng trabaho sa akin at lahat ng mga utos lang niya ang susundin ko. And that includes to be with you anywhere you will go."

I scoffs sarcastically at that. "Anywhere? Kahit sa banyo susundan mo ako dahil sabi ni Daddy gano'n ba?" Natawa ako pero agad rin akong napahiya sa kanyang pananahimik, he was damn serious about following my father's orders and I'm now in real fucking trouble! Damn it!

"Kahit saan, Miss Saryna."

Naghalukipkip ako't nginisihan siya, kahit na alam kong talo na ako ay ayaw ko pa ring sumuko. Kahit na nangangatog na ang tuhod ko sa kanyang kabuuan ay nagawa ko pa ring ilapit ang sarili ko sa kanya.

"Are you really just following my father's orders o gustong-gusto mo rin ang ideyang 'yon?"

"It's my job to not let you out of my sight and I will do that whatever it takes."

"So kahit naliligo ako pwede mo akong pasukin, gano'n ba?"

His eyes became sharp at my question. Parang gusto kong pagsisihan iyon nang mabagal siyang tumango. I am pissed, but I had no choice but to pull my last card on him.

He didn't budge when I closed the gap between us. His scent conquered my whole being. Tiniis ko iyon. Kahit na para akong napapaso sa lapit namin ay hindi ako sumuko, but I felt all of my strength left me when he caught and gripped my hands before I even touched his broad shoulders. Doon na sunod-sunod ang naging paglunok ko!

"I'm only here to do what was asked of me, Miss Saryna. I am your bodyguard and I'm here to make sure you are safe at all times so please don't pull any stunt because I am not that easy to please. Now tell me where do you want to go and I will accompany you there." he said in his low voice that slapped me out of my inhibitions!

Pakiramdam ko'y sa unang pagkakataon ay nakahanap ako ng katapat! At base sa reaksiyon niya'y mukha naman talagang walang dating ang presensiya ko sa kanya! It was the first time someone looked at me without lust and admiration on their eyes. Kahit man lang paghanga sa ganda ko ay wala akong makita!

Hiyang-hiya kong hinugot ang mga kamay palayo sa kanya. I forced myself to laugh just to hide the embarrassment.

"Just tell me you like men. Hindi mo kailangang mag-explain. Kung bakla ka at mas preferred mo ang lalaki ay marami akong alam na lugar kung saan ka makakakuha ng magandang service at mga high-end na—"

"There's no need for that because I am not gay. I preferred women and it just happened that you are not my type so whatever this is you're plotting, ngayon pa lang ay sinasabi ko na sa 'yong hindi iyon tatalab sa akin. Let's end this conversation now, Miss Saryna. Ngayon sabihin mo kung saan mo gustong ihatid kita para matapos na?"

That was the end of the war for me. Imbes na masampal siya sa kanyang mga sinabi ay lumayo na lang ako bago pa ako maglupasay sa kahihiyan sa harapan niya! Hindi bale nang hindi ko makita si Damien ngayon dahil mas gugustohin ko pang maghintay ng bukas imbes na makasama ang hijo de putang 'yon!

Fuck him to the moon and back! I hate him! I fucking hate him!