Chapter One

Saryna Esquire La Casse Rozovsky

"What the hell is this Saryna?!" Ate Nia exclaimed with her cell phone almost touching my face.

Sandaling kumunot ang noo ko para titigan ang kanyang hawak pero agad ring nangisi nang makita ang larawang kasalukuyang nag-ti-trending ngayon.

It was a photo of me barely naked while kissing a man. We were at a pool party. I was drunk and I probably hit some mj, but hey, it was a party. It was just a normal thing to do pero ang alam kong ang ikinagagalit niya ngayon ay ang posisyon at ginagawa ko sa litratong iyon.

The guy was holding both of my breast with his thumb on my nipples and it was as if I was enjoying the moment. Nakakagat labi pa ako habang ang lalaki ay parang hingal na hingal at hayok na hayok habang hawak ang katawan ko. Hindi ko na maalala, but maybe I did really enjoyed it. Anyway it was just a one night thing. Nothing really serious at wala naman iyon para sa akin. I've been kissed and touched and that photo was nothing compared to what I really do with boys I like and choose.

Gumapang ang mga mata ko patungo sa aking mahabang hita. Holy shit! Thanks mom and dad for the good genes! I look so fucking damn hot! I bet boys are jacking off right now because of that photo.

"I look so hot..." nakangisi kong sambit pero agad iyong nabawasan sa muling pagsagot ng kapatid ko, nababaliwan na sa akin.

"Wow you think it's a joke!"

Pinigilan kong mapahalakhak. My head still hurts from the alcohol and marijuana combined, but I won't let her see it. Mas lalo akong sasabunin ng isang 'to kapag nalaman niya pang humithit ako no'n!

"Calm your tits Ate Nia! It's nothing! My body is still covered! You're acting like it was a sex tape!"

"Saryna Esquire!" She spat now the nerves on her forehead were visible, galit na galit na talaga.

Inangat ko ang mga kamay ko tanda ng pagsuko pagkatapos ay pinilit na maging seryoso ang mukha.

"I did nothing wrong. I was drunk and that was just part of me having fun and nothing else, I swear."

"This is definitely not nothing else! Last week you were caught making out with one of your professor—"

"He was just four years older than me and he was hot so I don't think there's a problem. Isa pa, I'm already eighteen and we were both single. Hindi naman siya makukulong, 'di ba? I gave him consent, too. No actually, I was the one who initiated the kiss. And Ate, he's a good kisser—"

"Saryna! Oh my God! You're going to be the death of me!"

I just smiled sweetly at my sister. Nauupos siyang naupo sa aking harapan. Tila ba ubos na ang pag-asang magbabago pa ako. Tumayo ako't lumipat sa kanyang tabi pagkatapos ay malambing siyang niyakap. She was still mad at first. Itinataboy pa ako pero sa huli ay wala na ring magawa. Sino ba naman kasing makakatiis kay Saryna Esquire? No one. Imposible ang bagay na 'yon.

"I'm sorry, okay? I didn't do something stupid aside from having fun. Hindi kami nag-sex. Hell, I didn't even remember that photo so meaning it's not relevant so please stop stressing yourself about it. Let the people talk. Hayaan mong magkaro'n ng hobby ang mga taong walang kwenta ang buhay at ginaganahan na lang sa mga tsismis. Maawa ka sa kanila."

"This is still not good. Eto uzhe slishkom, Saryna." This is too much, Saryna.

Humigpit ang yakap ko sa kanya. I even kissed her cheek. "I swear this is already me being good. I'm just having fun ate and nothing else. It's not even a scandal."

"Saryna you just turned eighteen! Baka nakakalimutan mo 'yan."

"Exactly. I am eighteen and I'm old enough to handle myself! Geez, I am not your daughter, Ate Nia."

"Thank God for that!"

Muli akong natawa. I kissed her again on the cheeks.

"Loosen up a bit. It's nothing, I swear. Wala silang makikitang mas malala sa litratong 'yan. We didn't record ourselves fucking."

"Saryna!"

Napahalakhak na ako nang halos lumuwa ang mga mata niya dahil sa aking mga sinabi. My sister knew me yet she was still surprised with every word that was coming out of my mouth.

"I didn't fucked him ate ano ka ba! I'm just kidding! Masyado ka namang manang at parang diring-diri sa usapang sex! Don't tell me you're still a—"

"Saryna your mouth, pozhaluysta!"

Doon na ako napahalaklak. Yep, Ate Nia was definitely still a virgin.

"Wait 'till your father knows about it." she said now rolling her eyes at me.

"Oh trust me, dad will not say anything bad about it. I don't think he'll care, too. Besides, bata pa rin sila ni mommy nang ikasal. I bet they fucked right after they got married or even before that. Mom was kind of hot and definitely fuckable so I think dad will not waste a single breath waiting for a dumb ceremony..."

Hindi ko na naituloy pa ang mga sasabihin dahil sa pag-wa-walk out ng kapatid ko. Natawa na lang ako nang takpan niya ang mga tainga habang naglalakad palabas ng aking silid.

Nang mawala siya't tumahimik ang kabuuan ng aking kwarto ay napabuntong-hininga na lang ako. I let my head rest on the couch. Umangat ang aking kamay upang masahiin ang aking sintido.

Damn it fucking hurts. Ano ba kasing mga tinira ko kagabi?

Kahit na nananakit ang ulo at pagod na pagod ang buong katawan ay nagpapasalamat pa rin akong wala nang Rozovsky ang pumasok sa aking silid para kastiguhin ako. Maybe Ate Somerset and Kuya Nio wasn't around. And I thank God for it. Baka masakal na ako ni Ate Somerset sa mga kabalbalan ko. Kuya Nio would scold me, too, but I don't think he'll care that much. Kahit siya lang ang nag-iisang lalaki sa tahanang ito maliban kay Daddy ay masyado niya rin akong mahal para pagalitan. Sa mga babaeng kapatid lang talaga ako namumuro. Minsan nga ay gusto ko nang tanungin si mommy kung sa kanya ba talaga ako nanggaling o sa mga ate ko.

Napapitlag ako nang tumunog ang aking telepono. Tamad akong tumayo para balikan iyon sa aking kama. Imbes na maibsan ang sakit ng ulo ay mas lalo lang yata iyong bumigat nang makita ang pangalan ng pinsan kong tumatawag. Tamad kong binagsak ang aking katawan pabalik sa kama bago iyon sagutin.

"Hi Damdam! I miss you and I love you! What's up?" I answered sweetly.

I heard him click his tongue on the other line. Yep, he already saw the photo at ngayon ay disappointed na rin gaya ni ate Nia pero nananatili pa ring kalmado. I mean it's Damien. The one and only saint among the Rozovsky's and my favorite cousin.

"What is it this time, Saryna?"

"Wala naman. Hindi ba dapat ako ang nagtatanong niyan? What's up with the call? Don't tell me na-mi-miss mo na ako dahil busy ako lately?"

"Ate Soms called me. Anong oras ka na umuwi kagabi?"

I chuckled. "Mabuti nga umuwi pa ako."

"That is not funny Saryna."

I heave a sigh and tried to be serious. "Five am I think."

"All by yourself?"

"Uh-huh. You know I hate making kuya Pancho wait for me and besides, kaya ko namang mag-drive pauwi."

"Drunk? You know that's illegal and you're not supposed to drive while under the influence."

"Jeez, Damien. I'm already home. Lipas na, tapos na, done!"

"Still, hindi ka pwedeng magmaneho nang nakainom, Saryna. You already know that. It's not only you you're putting in danger, but all these people."

Napapikit ako ng mariin. Mabuti na lang at wala siya ngayon sa harapan ko dahil kung hindi ay baka lumuhod na ako sa harapan niya lubayan niya lang ako ngayon. I know he will not stop until I owe up to my mistakes kaya kahit na labag sa kalooban ko ay ginawa ko na lang rin para kay Damien. I hate making him angry. Sa lahat ay sa kanya lang yata ako tumitiklop kahit kaunti dahil alam kong gano'n rin siya sa akin. He is my person and I hate disappointing him.

"Fine, I'm sorry."

"That's it?'

"And I will not do it again."

It was his turn to heave a sigh. "I'll pretend that I believe you, Saryna. Alam ko namang hindi mo gagawin dahil napakatigas ng ulo mo."

"Alam mo naman pala gusto mo pang marinig." I murmured, but he still heard it.

"Not funny."

"Sorry na nga. Hindi ko na nga uulitin ngayong month. Mga next month na lang ulit."

"You want me to laugh?"

I rolled my eyes. I'm frustrated because I know he was not playing with me this time. Paano ba namang hindi siya magagalit eh ngayong linggo pa lang ay apat na ang naging atraso ko sa buong pamilya ko.

My parents and siblings was not happy about how I was living my life but eventually, they let go of that burden. Hinahayaan na lang ako dahil alam naman nilang kayang-kaya ko ang sarili ko pero sa lahat ay si Damien yata ang hindi nakakalimot. He even has notes of what I did wrong since I was in pre-school. Gano'n katindi ang isang ito pagdating sa akin.

"I said I'm sorry, okay? Hindi na mauulit."

"You already said that last Wednesday."

"Mne zhal', Damien Alfonso. YA obeshchayu, chto budu vesti sebya." I'm sorry, Damien Alfonso. I promise that I will behave.

I said in Russian dahil iyon na lang yata ang hindi ko pa nasasabi sa kanya ngayong buwan.

Muli siyang napabuntong-hininga sa kabilang linya. Imbes na ma-stress pa ay lumuwag na ang pakiramdam ko dahil doon. That means he was yielding. Kabisado ko na ang mga ganito niya at kahit naman siya ang pinakahindi nakakalimot sa lahat ng mga atraso ko ay gaya ng pamilya ko ano pa mang kagaguhan ay tanggap na tanggap pa rin ako.

"That guy wasn't even you type. He's too short for you. What were you thinking."

I laughed at that. "Hindi ko na talaga maalala. I was high I think. Did you know who took the photos?"

"Yes. Do you want me to ask someone to delete it?"

"Nah, just let them. Besides, it was a good photo of me, Damien. Let them boys go crazy about it."

I heard him 'tsked' again. Muli akong napahalakhak.

"Want to come to a party later? Kapag sumama ka for sure mas magiging behave ako at hindi mo na ako tatawagan kinabukasan para pagalitan kasi ikaw na mismo ang magbabantay sa akin at—hello?! Damien?!"

Natigil ako sa pagsasalita nang luminaw ang ilang beep sa kabilang linya tanda ng pagbaba niya sa akin ng telepono. Imbes na magalit at tawagan siyang muli at napailing na lang ako't natawa.

Classic Damien.