For publication Wednesday, October 23, 2019.

AUTHOR NOTE: Shep has just returned from a horrible break-up scene, but Carlo doesn't know that. What will happen when Carlo -- and then the three parents -- find out the wedding is off? And what does Carlo have to tell Shep and Dr. Clarkson about the search for David Zhang?

Find out in THE MAMMOTH MURDERS, Chapter 13 - The Strategy, Part 1. Enjoy!

Shepard released the tension in his arms and shoulders; he seemed to shrink an inch in height as he relaxed his posture. "I'm sorry. I'm, uh, I'm just a little stressed."

"Well, you gonna get more stressed when I tell you what is happening in the search for David Zhang. Come, I tell you everything in the car on the way to Gainesville. We say nothing to il professore about Maynard's visitor, okay?"

"Agreed. I'm not sure of the connections there, yet. And while we're figuring it out, I don't want the woman alerted that she's being watched."

Tuesday afternoon

In Professor Win Clarkson's office on the University of Florida campus, Carlo had just finished briefing the professor and Shep on events surrounding David Zhang's disappearance. Carlo looked to the two men for their comments.

"What next?" asked Carlo.

Shepard thought a moment before saying, "What happened to David's stuff from his office here, in this department?"

Clarkson replied, "I haven't touched his office. The police looked at it, but there was no sign of foul play, they said. I don't think the police removed anything, but, if they did, it will all be logged in as evidence."

"Mm," Shep fingered his beard thoughtfully. "If they don't believe there's been a crime, they wouldn't cart away a truckload of 'evidence.' No, if anything has been removed, I'd bet either David took it with him, or somebody else took it because they knew David wasn't coming back.

"Carlo, search David's office, especially his computer. Read all his e-mails for the last few weeks ... and, I think you'd better do it when his office-mate is out."

"You suspect Felicia of something?" Clarkson said.

"Not necessarily, but we can't rule out anybody right now. Better safe than sorry," Shep told him.

"We should not ignore the roommate, either," said Carlo. "That guy, Maynard, is about as straight as fresh-boiled linguine. He is not smart, either. If he had anything to do with David disappearing, we will catch him in a mistake sooner or later."

Shep stopped stroking his beard. "Professor, I've had a guy watching the roommate. It's an old Sheep Counters fan, who used to call my radio show all the time, mostly to report Unidentified Flying Objects. He's a dedicated UFOlogist — which means he sneaks around at night trying to spot aliens and such. I asked him to watch Maynard, and he was on the case faster than you can say 'flying saucer.' I guarantee the subject will never know he's being observed."

Carlo let out a chuckle. "He's called Roland, the Rocket Man."

"Yep, that's him. Rocket Man. Comes complete with night vision gear and infrared cameras and who-knows-what else. I don't ask," said Shepard.

Carlo inserted, "Dude, you know, if Rocket Man watches the roommate, Rocket is going to think the guy is an alien. Because, why would you want to watch him? Unless he has come to pose as human and live among us until the invasion starts?"

Win's eyes widened. "You're not serious! Nobody is that crazy."

"Oh, yes, they are," said Shep.

"You don't know the Sheep Counters," said Carlo. "For several years, thousands of people listened to Shep's broadcast in the wee hours every night, to keep up-to-date on news of aliens and conspiracies and urban legends they swore were true. Fans of 'Sheep Counters with Shep and Dave' believed sincerely in things most people would not imagine."

Clarkson shook his head in disbelief. "I'll take your word for it, but it boggles the mind."

Shep told Carlo, "While I'm thinkin' about it, Rocket would be insulted if I offered to pay him for his 'surveillance activities.' Have my local station make a suitable donation to the Rocket Man website. Call it 'research' expense."

Wednesday

Early the following morning, Shepard was already closeted in his home office when Carlo answered a knock on the front door.

"Come in," he said, stepping back and smiling. His smile faltered when Miranda remained outside the threshold and dangled a set of car keys in front of him.

"No, thank you. I'm just dropping these off."

"You do not want to come in and say hello? Shep is in his office—"

"No, thank you. I don't need to talk to Shepard. I just need you to give him these car keys."

Carlo held out a hand, and Miranda dropped the keys into his palm.

"These are the keys to your car?" he said. When she nodded and turned to go, he stopped her with, "Why are you giving Signor Shep the keys to your car? Shall I have it serviced for you? Do you want it washed? Waxed? Painted?"

She turned only halfway toward him, still poised to escape. "I feel it is no longer appropriate for me to keep such an expensive gift, due to the change in our relationship."

"You change you relationship?"

"He didn't tell you?"

"Um, maybe not. You explain to me your side of story."

"No story. We broke up. I can't keep the car. He'll understand."

Carlo wagged his head in the negative. "I am not so sure, but I wait and see for that. Do you need me to drive you to work?

"No, thank you." She shifted her weight as if to step away.

"But, if you give back this car," he jingled the keys, "then, you don't have a car. I know your old car was hauled away to the scrap yard on a flatbed truck. It was Hansen's job to be sure it arrived at the yard and went straight into the compactor. Your old car would fit into a lunch box right now."

"I'm borrowing Mrs. Cleary's car until I can shop for a used car after work today."

"Ahm..." Carlo's eyebrows scrunched together.

When he did not continue, Miranda asked, "What?"

"I just was thinking ... Have you ever driven Signora Cleary's automobile?"

"No, but—"

"Have you even seen Signora Cleary's automobile?"

"Well, no, but I'm going over there now—"

"Do you have a Triple-A card in case the car breaks down?"

"Yes, thank you, but it won't break down. Her late husband took excellent care of that car. It's 'just like new,' she told me."

"I hope it is, signorina. Signor Cleary, he pass away twenty years ago."

Miranda let this new fact sink in. A shadow of dismay crossed her features, but she banished it and put on her Stalwart Librarian Face.

"Nevertheless, she wouldn't have offered it to me if she didn't believe it would be safe to drive."

"I am sure that is true. Only, promise you will be careful, and, if you need help, you will call Carlo. You have my cell number in you phone?"

"Yes," she said. "Thank you very much."

She walked away.

Carlo closed the front door, bounced the car keys in his hand, and strode to the door of Shepard's home office.

He gave it a quick rap, then shouted at the closed door. "Signorina Miranda was at the door."

"I don't want to talk to her," came from beyond the portal.

"Good. She do not want to talk to you, neither. She just drop off her car keys."

No sound came from behind the door for several seconds.

"Mao," came from inside the office.

"I heard him," Shep answered the cat. Then, to Carlo, he said, "What for? I just washed it on Saturday."

Carlo leaned against the door frame, dangling the keys from one finger. "She say is 'inappropriate' gift, and she gonna buy herself a used car."

"Merraow," Zeus remarked.

Shep answered the cat, "What do you mean 'my fault'? I didn't ask for it back. She should keep it, for Pete's sake. This is totally unnecessary." Then he spoke louder for Carlo. "How will she get to work?"

"You do not want to know," Carlo said. "How come you do not ask me why she say is 'inappropriate'?"

"She says that because she broke up with me, Nosey Parker! But she's wrong. Her idea of what's 'inappropriate' is just ... convoluted!"

"K-k-k-k-k-k!"

"No, I did not break up with her, Fur Face."

"K-k-k-k-k-k!"

"Okay, we both broke up with each other! Happy now?"

The cat said nothing.

"Nobody sounding happy to me," Carlo murmured. To the closed door he said, "I just leave the keys on the rack by the kitchen door. Last hook on the right."

Carlo waited, but no further sounds came from behind the door.

"You welcome," he said, and walked away.

A moment later, the door opened a few inches, and Zeus sauntered out. He padded past Carlo and through the kitchen, where the purposeful feline swished out the cat portal Carlo had installed in the door.

To the departing kitten, Carlo snarled, "Sure! Run away, coward!"

An hour later, Carlo left for another war council at the Montgomery-Krausse mansion. Before he left in Shep's car, he parked Miranda's rejected vehicle precisely two feet from Shepard's three-feet-wide, outward-opening front door.

Shepard would not be able to ignore the relationship crisis, because he would not be able to go out his front door until the problem with Miranda was resolved.

Two hours after departing Minokee, Carlo was seated at the broad, glistening expanse of mahogany table in Hermione's formal dining room. All the parties from their previous wedding-planning meeting sat in a row on one side of the table. Doctor and Doctor Ogilvy sat, in a row of two, on the opposite side.

Hermione, naturally, presided from her throne at the head of the table.

After perfunctory greetings and a quick introduction of Miranda's parents, Hermione turned to the staff and asked for status reports.

Hanson, the ancient butler, raised a hand as high as his arthritic shoulder would allow. He was third in the row, and reports traditionally began with the first chair, so his gesture caused muted gasps among the other employees.

The Ogilvys did not gasp. They did not realize the significance of Hanson's gesture.

Hermione did not gasp. As a rule, Madam Montgomery-Krausse did not indulge in vulgar expressions of surprise or alarm.

"Yes, Hanson?" said Madam.

Hanson stood — either a sign of respect or preparation to flee — and cleared his throat. "Ahem ... Madam, I have the unhappy duty to inform you that the wedding may not occur as planned."

"Of course, it will occur as planned," Hermione declared. "I have planned it."

"Quite so, Madam, but there have been ... developments of which Madam is as yet unaware."

"Then make me aware. We are wasting our guests' time."

"Yes, Madam. It will be most expedient if Carlo explains, since he was an eyewitness—"

"More of an ear-witness," Carlo muttered.

"—since Carlo witnessed this morning's events." Hanson sat down, his spine perfectly erect and never touching the chair's back.

Carlo stood and looked Hermione directly in the chin, which required less bravado than looking her in the eyes.

"Proceed, please, Carlo," Hermione pronounced.

"Yes, Madam. It began when Signorina Miranda came to Signor Shepard's house this morning to return the blue Mercedes."

"What do you mean 'return' it?" Hermione asked.

"She said she could no longer keep such an expensive gift, given the current state of, and I quote, 'the relationship'."

The servants gasped in unison, except for Hanson, who had heard the story from Carlo beforehand.

"The relationship!" said Miranda's mother.

"Aw, I loved that car," moaned her father.

Hermione alone remained calm. "And, how did my son respond to that absurd notion?"

"Signorina Miranda did not speak to Signor Shepard. I conveyed the news to him myself — through a closed office door."

"And, how did he describe 'the state of the relationship'?"

Carlo took a deep breath and lifted his head and shoulders high, looking over Madam's head at this point. "I regret to say he told me they, and I quote, 'broke up.'"

"What!" (Rosario.)

"Indeed." (Hermione.)

"But he was even willing to shave off his beard!" (Zeke.)

Gasp! (The servants.)

"I see," said Hermione. "And, precisely who broke up with whom? Did he say?"

"It was ... unclear, Madam. I only know Signor Shepard has not been himself since he went for a walk with Signorina Miranda at lunchtime yesterday. Signor Shepard would not discuss the details of the break-up."

"Hmm," Hermione said, gazing without focus at the far end of the massive dining room.

"If I may venture an educated guess, Madam," said Carlo.

Hermione looked directly at the chauffeur. "Please do. You know him better than anyone, with the possible exception of your dear brother, of course. But, regrettably, he cannot help us now."

For Hermione Montgomery-Krausse, such a statement amounted to a maudlin display of tearful condolences for the death of his late brother.

"Zeus appears to feel that Signor Shepard is to blame. He has left the house," Carlo said. He sat down.

"Who left the house?" came from Rosario. "Did Shepard leave Minokee?"

"I believe Zeus left the house," Hermione clarified.

Rosario's forehead wrinkled and she looked around the table as if for a clue. "Who is Zeus?"

"I'm afraid I don't know, yet," said Hermione.

"Zeus is the cat," Zeke told them.

"Oh." Rosario sounded relieved.

Carlo inserted, "Perhaps I should have reported sooner, Madam: Signora Cleary has given Signor Shepard a small cat."

"To keep?" Hermione said warily.

"Only on a probationary basis, Madam. The cat may not decide to stay."

"Do you mean to tell me, this animal has been given the authority to determine whether my son, the only heir to the political and financial Montgomery dynasty, is acceptable as its owner?"

"If approved, Signor Shepard would function as a sort of landlord, Madam. As I understand it, cats do not have 'owners'."

"Great Caesar's ghost! My son has acquired a feline?" Hermione sounded far from relieved. "Hanson, bring me a sherry, please."

"I would like one as well," added Rosario.

"Get me a beer, would you, please? Straight out of the bottle will be fine," said Zeke.

For a few minutes, the room was silent except for the clinking of the sherry decanter, the opening of the mini-fridge beneath the room's wet bar, and the soft clunks of two crystal sherry glasses and a beer bottle upon the surface of the great table.

Zeke sipped his beer.

Rosario and Hermione slugged back their sherry in one gulp and daintily replaced their glasses on the table.

[pictured: "La Fin du Monde" beer; translation: "The End of the World" beer]

"Very well," intoned Hermione. "This adds another facet to our plans. We will need to restore the relationship as well as make the wedding arrangements. A subcommittee will be formed. Please leave your name with Rebecca if you wish to serve on that committee.

"Now. Let us continue without further delay. Reports, please."

AUTHOR NOTE: Sounds like the search for David Zhang would be more effective if they put Hermione in charge! Nothing seems to stop her or even slow her down. Who will be the new "subcommittee" on relationship restoration? And what will they do? Where the heck has David gone? And is he ever coming back? With all this activity everywhere, will they forget to feed the cat?

Find out next time in THE MAMMOTH MURDERS, Chapter 14 - The Strategy, Part 2.

Thanks for reading and voting (It's that little star at the bottom of the page, remember?). Please don't be shy about commenting. I really am eager to know what you're thinking. Happy reading!