Y/N'S POV

Five stormed out in a fit of rage, slamming the door, and I was left with a flurry of emotions. Collapsing to my knees, tears streamed down my face, his words echoing in my mind. I knew he was telling the truth, that he never intended to harm me or the baby. I was certain he couldn't have feigned his despair, pain, and anger. I saw it in his eyes. He was genuinely hurt and broken, just like I was now. How could I let myself be so deceived? What had I done? I'd kept my son away from his father for four years and squandered the chance for a happy family. I couldn't continue lying to myself. I loved Five. I never stopped. I might've been filled with pain and desire for revenge after learning the truth about his wicked plans toward me, but my feelings for him never waned. He was my weakness, a drug I failed to resist despite knowing all too well that drugs are no good.

"Hey, don't cry," Diego gentle voice reached my ears, his hand soothingly caressing my arm. Helping me stand, he embraced me tightly, "We won't let him take away Ezra from us, don't worry," he said, planting a kiss on my forehead while caressing the back of my head.

I pulled away, trying to stifle my sobs. "Us?" I repeated bitterly. "There's no us, Diego. Stop pretending we're a loving family because we're not," I yelled in a semi-whisper so that the screams wouldn't wake Ezra. "It was just a deal, and it's not valid anymore now that Five knows about Ezra!"

"And didn't you want revenge, as well?" he challenged bitterly. "Was it all about Ezra only?"

I shook my head. "He was, and he is, my priority!"

Diego stepped forward, and his tone grew dark. "Are you trying to imply that you're reneging on our deal?"

I felt helpless and lost. Tears welled up in my eyes again. "I don't know what to think or do anymore. Every single goddamn man who was important to me in my life manipulated me." I cried, struggling to stand on my feet while looking into Diego's eyes. I didn't want his pity. I despised it when people pitied me. But I was so broken, so damaged, that I could no longer suppress my pain. "First, my own father used me for his twisted ambitions." A single tear dropped down my cheek at the memory of how my father, a man who was supposed to love me unconditionally and care for me, would always see me as a pawn in his games to achieve what he wanted. How he would sell me in exchange for connections, and influence by arranging relationships for me. Another tear escaped my eyes at the memory. "Then, my first real boyfriend, followed by my second boyfriend. Until Five. Just when I thought he truly loved me, it turned out he was using me too!" I sobbed, desperately sobbed. "Later Zachary, and now... you, Diego."
Diego's face was washed with regret. His eyes squeezed momentarily. "I'm not manipulating you, Y/n. I offered you a deal, and you took it."

"Is that so?" I squinted angrily, my voice lowered. "But you weren't fully honest with me, were you?" I challenged. "You must have known that Five was desperately searching for me during those years, not to hurt me, but because he loved me. Yet, you conveniently omitted that, didn't you?" My fist landed on his chest, and Diego avoiding eye contact, tilted his head to the side. "Instead, you fed me with the lies of his satisfaction in breaking my life. You claimed he was reveling in his revenge! You confirmed that what Zachary said was true! You insisted that once Five discovered our baby, he might hurt it, fuck, you said he would kill my son!" I yelled, the waves of helplessness, regret, and frustration overwhelming me. "Now, tell me, was any of that true?" I questioned, my shattered gaze fixed on him, unsure if I had the strength to endure it all.

"No," Diego stated quietly, meeting my gaze. "I lied about that. I knew you wouldn't have agreed to all this if I had told you that Five loves you."

I couldn't believe my ears. A sense of powerlessness overwhelmed me. How could I have allowed myself to be deceived in such a way? No words escaped my lips. I had no more strength to respond. Gazing into his eyes, I shook my head gently, tears silently streaming down my face.

Diego sighed, combing his fingers through his hair before drawing closer, his eyes reflecting what seemed like pain.

"Y/n, I'm sorry. I know I fucked up. I took advantage of the situation, and I should never have done that," he pleaded. "But I know my brother very well, and you know what? He loves you. He genuinely does love you. Even after all you've done, he still does love you." His eyes darted back and forth between mine as if trying to find some sort of understanding before he added, his tone hushed, "But you know what's worse? I love you, too. I am in love with you, Y/n."

My eyes were tightly closed as I struggled to contain the rage welling up within me. "I don't know what you're trying to achieve by saying that, but it won't work. Not again," I stated harshly, fixing my gaze on his with lethal fury bubbling inside me. "Find someone else to be a pawn in your game. I'm done with this."

Diego shook his head, eyes narrowing. "What do you mean?"

I straightened up. "I'm leaving." I rushed to head upstairs to pack my things, but Diego followed. He grabbed my elbow to stop me, and I instinctively swirled around to face him.

He loomed over me, his eyes pleading. "Y/n, wait. I wasn't lying when I said I developed feelings for you. I've never been more honest in my entire life." His eyes searched my face as if seeking some form of forgiveness, any feelings. Perhaps even love. "Please, stay." His voice cracked. He hesitantly caressed my cheek and released a breath. "I'm begging you. Stay with me."  He spoke so quietly I could barely catch his words. A single tear escaped his eye. I had never seen him in such a vulnerable state before. It was such a contrast to his usual behavior. "I don't even care about money or power anymore. We could leave New York if you want. We could even go overseas if you wish. I'll do anything to make you happy."

I took a deep breath, brushing away the tears that blurred my vision. Inhaling heavily, I redirected my gaze toward Diego.

"Even if I wanted to, I can't," I said with a firm shake of my head. "My entire life has been one big misery, orchestrated by the wrong men, starting with my father. Do you know what he said to me on the day I left New York four years ago?"

The pain in my voice was palpable. The memories hurt like a sharp knife cutting through my heart. "I went to California first, to my family, before I accepted your deal. Back then, I had no idea what I was supposed to do with my life. I thought, 'Hey, I'm their daughter after all. Apart of the Sparrows. They'll surely help their nephew and me.' I couldn't have been more wrong." Tears welled up again as the past flashed back in my mind.

"I told you that you would come back to us, crawling for our help!" My father's words echoed with wicked satisfaction. My siblings didn't speak. Not one single one. They just stood there by his side, blindly following his orders. They were prisoner's in his own life.

"I'm not even surprised he only wanted to use you," Ben continued to add, spitefully glaring at me.

"That's the only thing you're good at. You're only good for being a pawn in other people's games! Other than that, you're useless!" The barrage of his words felt like punches, and I wondered, not for the first time, why they harbored such intense hatred for me. I was his girlfriend at one point after all. And father, I was his dauther... his own flesh.

"Ben, stop saying such horrible things, or—" Solane finally chimed in, attempting to intervene. But her efforts fell short.

"Or what?! her affair with that Hargreeves already tarnished my reputation and ruined a contract between the them and me!" my father spat, his volume escalating with each word. "I lost the elections because of that stupid girl! I have nothing else to lose, and I won't be raising the Hargreeves's bastard! I regret that she survived after that day when I—"

"When he pushed her down the stairs," I hardly managed to repeat my father's words. The memory tore at me, and I hid my face in my hands. Recalling this scene broke me every time.

Diego instinctively pulled me into a comforting embrace. "What the fuck, Y/n? What are you talking about?" The anger in Diego's voice simmered beneath his words. I couldn't muster a response, only allowing my tears to sink into the fabric of his shirt.

"What a son of a bitch. I'll—" Diego hissed, drawing me closer.

"It doesn't matter anymore," I managed to say, gently pulling away. Wiping away the tears, I took a deep breath. "I have a son, Diego. He's everything to me. He's my whole world, and I'll do everything I can to ensure he's safe and happy. I'll do whatever it takes so that he doesn't have the miserable life as I had. Therefore, I can't stay here. I won't make the same mistake again, choosing the wrong man."

Diego let me speak, merely staring at me with pain filling his eyes.

"It all started for the wrong reasons. We're toxic to each other. You're toxic. I don't want that for my son."

He heaved a sigh. "Y/n—"

"No, Diego . You have issues. I see how jealous you are of Five, and I won't sacrifice my son's life so that you can feel better."

He rubbed his temples. Then his head ran through his dark brown hair. "I know I have issues, but it feels like you could change that, Y/n. Your love, it could be my medicine. My
cure."

He advanced but I stepped back, maintaining a distance. "Love... it can be your medicine, yes. But real love, Diego. And I could never give you that. No matter what, there would always be Five between us. I can't stop loving him, no matter how hard I try," I quietly confessed.

Diego didn't take that well. The anger in his eyes anger flared, and his jaw tightened as he hissed. "He's a playboy, Y/n. He had a dime a dozen women like you, and you think he would settle down for you?!"

"He already did once."

"You're so naive," he scoffed bitterly.

"I am," I stated, my gaze never leaving his. "I am naive for trusting your lies." I turned on my heel and made my way upstairs.

Diego followed again. "You can't leave me! I'm not that easy to get rid of! And we have a fucking deal!"

I halted midway on the stairs. Anger was boiling inside me. I slowly turned to face him. "Don't even try to threaten me, or I'm going to make a public statement on our deal. I won't hesitate to ruin you!" I warned. "I'm not the same Y/n as four years ago! I wouldn't hesitate to play the dirtiest moves to keep my son's life safe. You must know that. Look what I did to Five to keep him safe. Do anything that harms him or my life, and I assure you, it won't end well for you. You wouldn't want to end up disinherited and with no reputation, would you?"

__________________

"Suite number 1028. Have a nice stay," a woman with a neat, low, blonde ponytail said, handing me the keys at the black stone reception desk of the hotel room.

"Thank you." I smiled, turning to Betty, who offered me a comforting smile. She helped me carry our luggage while I held Ezra in my arms. We made our way to the elevator, crossing the hotel lobby adorned with marble, gray, and gold accents. The elevator pinged on the eighth floor, and we searched for our room.

"There it is." Betty pointed to the other wing of a hallway.

We walked into a spacious suite with a double bed area separated by an open wall from another site with beige couches and chairs.

"I'll be sleeping here on the couch, so you and Ezra take the bed." Betty smiled.

"We'll stay here only until I figure out what to do with my life next, okay?" I assured, feeling slightly guilty.

Betty had left Malta for me, which I was grateful for. Ezra had grown fond of her, treating her like a grandmother. I knew Betty didn't have anyone back in Malta; her children and husband had tragically died in a car accident nearly twenty years ago, and she never started a new family. In a way, Ezra and I became her family, and she became ours. I was grateful to have her along my rocky journey, always able to count on her support and help.

"Don't worry, dear," Betty said, snapping me out of my thoughts.

I put Ezra to bed and turned on the TV. I usually tried to deter him from watching, but I was too overwhelmed and needed a moment.

"I was thinking that maybe you don't need to pay me in this situation, love," Betty suggested as I sat on the soft couch next to her, running my hands through my head as I heaved.

"God, Betty, no," I protested, setting my eyes on her. "There's no way I would let you work for me for free."

Betty sighed, offering me a warm, reassuring glance. "Dear, we're no longer in Malta where you had a job, where you led a different life. Now, things have changed. You're back to your old reality, you have no job now that you could support yourself with. Besides, you're like family to me. Both of you."

"I'll find a job soon." I smiled. "And I have some savings. Please, Betty. Don't worry about it."

"At least for a while—"

"It's not up for discussion."

_____________________

I went for a walk to clear my mind. I felt lost. Utterly lost. I didn't know what to do anymore. Deep down, I wanted to run to Five, forget all that had happened between us, and salvage what was left of our love. At the same time, I couldn't stop wondering whether I

could trust him again. Although he fell in love with me later, at first, he approached me with the intent of harming me. Could I ever forget that? Could he forgive me for keeping his son a secret for four long years or plotting against him with his brother?

"God, give me a sign," I pleaded, running my hands through my hair, swept by the moist September wind.

At that very moment, a family walked by. The father was carrying his son, the mother holding his hand, laughter and conversation flowing in the air. If that wasn't a sign from the universe, I didn't know what else could be.

Screw it.

I sprinted back to the hotel and took a quick shower. With my hair still damp, I hastily applied makeup, my heart pounding with the kind of rush felt before a date.

I felt alive again. The mere thought of a potential future with Five made me feel alive again. After drying my hair, I styled it into loose waves. I dressed in a light beige, cashmere half-turtleneck and matching wide-leg pants. A gold necklace adorned my neck, and I left a trench coat undone for a touch of elegance.

For Ezra, I chose a sweater of the color blue that was always he favorite, and a blue jeans with a striped black shirt under. I wanted him to look his best. I tied down, and started to brush his hair. His hair was brush to the side with his hair gel to keep it in place.

I knelt before him, smiling. I looked into his green eyes and kissed his forehead. "We're going to meet your daddy," I whispered. I quickly grabbed my purse, and we headed downstairs to hail a cab.

I stood at the entrance or Five's house, gently rapping on the door. Hanging onto the Ezra's that he hadn't moved out, much like how he kept his old phone number just in case I ever called. My heart pounded in my chest, adrenaline coursing through my veins. Never before had I felt such anticipation.

Eventually, the door swung open, and there he was. The man who caused my life to implode and the only one capable of mending it back together. Five Hargreeves, my nemesis, my oasis. The villain and the savior. A walking contradiction and the only man I wanted to spend my life with.

"Hey," I mustered. My body quivered, but my eyes... my eyes gleamed at the sight of him. "May we come in?" I spotted his surprise as he stood there, eyes widening.

"Of course," he responded gently, his husky voice a soothing melody to my ears. Always. "Come on in."

Now, after I knew the truth, seeing him felt surreal. But something was different about him. He wasn't the same man I had left three years ago. I was aware that so much had happened. We had both changed. And yes, his deep green gaze was still as captivating as before. But it was also colder. Distant. He didn't look at me with the same affection as he used to.

"I'm sorry that I disappeared for the whole day, but I needed time to clear my head," I explained as we entered his living room. The very same room where we had shared some of our happiest moments. It brought back so many memories.

"We'll talk about this later," Five replied curtly.

I settled Ezra on the couch and knelt to address his softly. "Ezra , remember what I've been telling you about your dad?"

Ezra nodded shyly.

"Well, the right time has come. Do you recognize him? You've seen him many times in the pictures, remember?"

Ezra merely nodded again, intimidated by the new situation, and I smiled, although my heart was racing so fast, I thought it would jump out of my chest. "Good," I reassured him, gently caressing his cheek. "You can go to him. Your dad can't wait to hug you," I said, guiding him toward Five, who patiently observed us.

"Hi, Dad," Ezra greeted shyly, and my heart skipped a beat.

Hearing him say those words for the first time and witnessing the involuntary smile that played on Five's lips, brought tears to my eyes. Taking a deep breath, I wiped away a tear, trying to compose myself.

"Hi," Five's raspy yet gentle voice echoed in my ears as he kneeled on one knee, extending his hands toward Ezra.

He approached him hesitantly, glancing at me for reassurance. I nodded, encouraging him to go to him.

"I'm so happy that you're here, you know?" Ezra's eyes beamed as he took Five's hand. "Can I hug you?" he asked warmly, and he nodded, wrapping his tiny hands around his neck.

A single tear escaped my eye. Then another, and another. Trying to hold back tears of joy and overwhelming emotion, I saw a solitary tear rolled down his cheek as he embraced Ezra. The sight... it was absolutely beautiful.

Ezra and Five formed a genuine connection surprisingly fast. Though he remained a bit reserved, I could sense that he was warming up to him. Of course, I knew it would take a few more days for his shyness to dissipate completely, but witnessing their quick bond, filled with playful moments and laughter, flooded my heart with overwhelming joy and love. Throughout the entire evening, Ezra exuded vivacity and happiness. I noticed that Five had an incredible talent for interacting with kids, so, he effortlessly bonded with Ezra. It suddenly dawned on me that I had been wrong all along, and I struggled to hold back more tears. I was fully aware that those lost three years were something I could never give back to them.

After an evening charged with emotions, Ezra had drifted off to sleep, and I carefully settled him into Five's bed. Seeking Five, I found him on the balcony, his gaze fixed on the dark sky. "Five?" I approached cautiously, my voice breaking. "Ezra is asleep. I'll wait until he wakes up, and then we'll head back," I informed him, sensing the distance in his attitude.

"Where are you staying?" he asked, his tone devoid of warmth as he continued gazing into the night.

"At a hotel. I'll give you the address," I responded, leaning against the balcony frame and crossing my arms against the slight chill in the air.

"I don't want my son staying in hotels,"Five declared, finally turning to face me. Our gazes crossed, but I couldn't discern any emotions from his inscrutable face. "I heard you moved out from Diego. I'll give you the keys to one of my properties so you can move in there with Ezra," he asserted firmly.

"It's not necessary." I hesitated, feeling a bit overwhelmed as I tucked strands of hair blown by the wind behind my ear.

"He's also my son, okay?" he sighed heavily, his voice low and stern. "I won't let him live in a hotel."

His piercing gaze never left mine, and after a moment, I relented, "Fine."

"So, you've been telling him about me? Showing him my pictures?" he questioned, his expression devoid of emotion, and only in his gaze could I see a flicker of pain blending with something I couldn't read, anger maybe.

"Yes, I have," I admitted.

"So, you took him away from me, never intending to come back, yet you were telling him about me?" he pressed further.

My gaze dropped momentarily. "I know how it sounds, but I wanted him to know who his real father was. I didn't plan anything. I was so confused. But at the same time, I wanted him to know his real dad, even if that meant only through pictures."

I glanced at Five, hoping he'd understand, but his harsh tone showed otherwise. "My lawyer will contact you regarding custody and the recognition of paternity."

Lawyer. He will now be contacting me through lawyers.

In an instant, all my hopes crumbled. I realized there was no hope for us to mend our relationship. Everything we once had was now gone. We became strangers again, with nothing but shared memories. I couldn't deny that it hurt, but I knew I did it to myself.

"I want to change Ezra's last name as soon as possible. If you cooperate, everything should be done within the next couple of days." His tone was stern like never before. Not when he spoke to me.

The man I had never stopped loving was now pushing me away. And I knew it was my fault. We both made mistakes. Both were to blame. But I shouldn't have run away. I shouldn't have sent Zachary to talk to Five. I should've faced him myself. Clear all that needed to be cleared between us. And now, I wasn't sure whether there was anything I could do to bridge the rift between us. Or if he'd ever be able to look at me again with the same love and desire he used to before all that happened. All that divided us.

"Five," I whispered.

"Listen, Y/n. I appreciate that you came here tonight and let me meet my son. Finally, after four years," he said in a scoff. "But that doesn't change that I'm furious at you. I'm in a position where I don't know what to do next. And I..." he heaved, running his fingers through his unruly hair. "I don't know if I could ever forgive you."

All my hopes and dreams are shattered.

"I'm not saying that it's only your fault. It would be cynical of me to blame you, but..." he heaved a breath, and I could see the pain on his face. "Too much has happened in the past four years. It all... added more and more bricks to the wall between us."

He looked at me briefly, waiting for my response, but I couldn't speak. I was too overwhelmed by emotions. I had ruined the chance to have a loving family I wanted for my son. A family I wanted with Five. He gazed into the dark sky as if lost in thought. "Maybe you were right in saying it was just a wild physical attraction, and we were too blinded by passion and young to realize that."

I closed my eyes, trying to hold back the tears welling up. The pain was piercing through my soul. Suddenly, I felt the warmth of Five's touch as he grabbed my hand and squeezed it in his.

Our eyes met, and I heard his deep, husky voice. "You will always be the mother of my son, and I'll take care of you, both of you. I'll make sure you have the life you deserve, but I don't know if you could ever be someone more than that to me again."

My heart tore apart in two. I didn't want anything from him except for his love. "Five, I don't expect you to forgive me for everything I've done, but at least let me tell you my side of the story," I pleaded.

But he released my hand and stepped away, his head hanging low in regret or defeat, perhaps both. "Just like you let me tell my side of the story four years ago?"

Touché.

Five's eyes met mine again. I could see this conversation was as painful to him as it was to me.

"Y/n, I know you have trust issues because of what you've been through. I knew it four years ago, and that's why I was so afraid to tell you about that fucking revenge. I was waiting for the right time. And I know I fucked up from the very beginning, but you know what?" He paused for a moment, exhaling heavily. "That whole mess made me realize that if my love was not enough for you, and believe me, I was trying hard, real hard, to prove to you every day how much I cared about you. How much I loved you. But if that still wasn't enough for you to see my intentions were genuine, we could never have a healthy, loving relationship. We both need to start from ourselves, Y/n. We both need to figure out what we truly feel and want."

I couldn't help a tear falling down my cheek slowly as I nodded, smiling through my watery eyes. "It sounds like a goodbye," I muttered quietly, my voice cracking as I tried so hard not to break in front of him.

Five didn't say anything. His gaze dropped, and his lips pressed together as he heaved a sigh.

"I just want you to know that it was our son's safety and happiness I was driven by," I muttered, my eyes flickering back and forth between his. "I'm sorry."

"I'll check on Ezra," he said coldly, avoiding my gaze as he walked past me. His scent lingered in the air I inhaled, desperately trying not to burst out in tears.

Why does it feel like I'm losing him forever?

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