Ps: the picture is Pamela.

For two days, Pamela couldn't get over the kiss she had shared with Devlin.

Devlin!

Had she been crazy? What had she been thinking?

The moment she'd returned to her room that night, all cold and dying with desire, she'd been reminded of what she was doing and how stupid it was and so she'd gone straight to the shower to wash his hands off her. It had been a struggle to sleep that night too. She'd tossed and turned and couldn't help but regret what she'd done.

The mafia was arrogant and was therefore bound to be worse after the kiss. How had she fallen for his antics and tricks? Why had she let him make her feel like he had power over her and could subdue her by just a simple kiss?

For the two days, she'd insisted on eating in her room, ignoring protests from Helen and her mom to join them in the dining room. She couldn't bear the thought of walking into the whole family gathering - well not the whole family gathering per se just him and her mom - and seeing them - him - thinking of her as a weakling and as a cheap, whoring Stockholm-syndromed xx chromosome.

He wouldn't care anyway. He could have any woman he wanted - hot, sexy, sophisticated, ladies, so he definitely wouldn't care if she didn't come down to eat.

Today was the third day. Again, Helen came to plead with her.

"Please lady Pamela, the boss will skin me alive. This time he said if I don't bring you out he's going to feed me to his dogs – and you don't want to meet his dogs." She made a horrified face.

"He did not say that." She replied, trying to calm her heart for being happy that he needed her down so badly. Stupid, treacherous, and traitorous heart. You should be ashamed that you're not repulsed.

"Well, no." Susan laughed. "But the look of his face is screaming all that."

Pamela groaned. "Fine."

The smile Helen rewarded her with was satisfying enough.

She walked into the dining room, praying fervently that Devlin wouldn't be there, as he sometimes skipped breakfast. And if he was, she was hoping he had developed amnesia and had forgotten the kiss. But what were the chances?

The kiss had been the most electrifying and passionate one she'd never had - maybe because of the dangerous excitement kissing a mafia brought, or the fact that she hadn't kissed in a while, she wasn't sure. She just knew that if she had amnesia, she would remember the kiss. For sure.

But on the other hand, the kiss was embarrassing. She couldn't help but chide herself. What the hell had she been thinking? She should have kicked him in the balls or gutted him or brained him with a club if one had been handy. She shouldn't have shivered with pleasure, she shouldn't have moaned against his lips and she most certainly shouldn't have enjoyed the goddamned kiss!

Her prayers were not answered as the huge elephant was in the room, looking good enough to eat. Her mom too, and to her pleasure, Peter. That brightened her spirits. She certainly could use some humor in her life right now.

She took her time walking into the dining room and she couldn't help but notice how the trio talked freely. Devlin even laughed at something Dorothea said. He seemed almost handsome and free, like a bird, without the world's burden bearing down on him.

She took a deep breath and plodded on, feeling especially beautiful today. The gown she wore was a beautiful red one that was barely reaching her knees and hugged her body well. She wore strap heels to feel better and in control.

"Good morning." She greeted cheerfully and the three turned to look at her. She avoided looking at him.

"Oh alas! The dark horse decided to come out after a month of Sundays." Peter said standing to hug her.

"Hello, Peter." She smiled at him as he held out her chair for her. "After a month of Sundays, are you trying to say you've been around?"

"For two days, yes." He winked at her and her heart skipped.

Devlin didn't tell her about the kiss, did he? They seemed to be very close at the gala and so could he possibly have confided in him? Heat crept up her neck as she imagined Devlin exaggerating and mocking how easily her knees had turned to jelly when his hands had merely brushed hers. Oh goodness.

"It's good to have you here." She said to him.

"Want some potatoes?" Her mom asked.

"Yes, please. I'll have whatever's available too." She said to the chef who was hovering in the background.

"Woke up with the appetite of a starving lion, did we?"

She grinned at Peter. "You have no idea."

The room fell silent after that. Awkwardly so. Pamela didn't want to but she couldn't help it. She didn't want to look at Devlin, didn't want to see why he was quiet all of sudden when seconds ago he had been chatty. But she did anyway. She glanced up at him and saw he looked impassive and bored, concentrating on his food. Pamela felt her mood dampening.

As the servants served her, something tugged at her feet and she almost jumped. It was Devlin's cat. Because of how she had reacted, the cat moved away, giving her a dour look.

"Her name is Mia." her mom supplied.

"Hey, Mia." Pamela reached out to stroke the cat but Mia shrank away and moved to curl herself on Devlin's feet.

"Don't beat yourself up over the cat. I hate her guts. She hates me too. Claws my skin every darn time." Peter piqued.

Pamela laughed and started eating. Breakfast was fun because Peter was entertaining. He told her hilarious stories and jokes that helped her get through the ordeal of sitting at the same table with the mafia.

"You're going home today," Devlin announced suddenly, cutting off Peter's very hilarious story about his visit to the Caribbean.

Pamela froze and looked at him. He wasn't looking at her but was looking at something behind her. Whatever it was, Pamela wasn't interested.

"What?"

"I think it's high time you buried your father."

Did he just say what she thought he said? She looked at her mom who nodded in assurance.

"Yes, dear. It's time to put the old man to rest."

Pamela was speechless. She hadn't been expecting this. Well, she had, because she had literarily hounded him about 'letting her go'.

"Thank you, Devlin." She whispered, genuinely grateful. He shrugged, muttering something that sounded like don't mention but it could have been don't go she wasn't sure.

She met his eyes then, but only briefly, as he looked away. It was dark and impassive and held no emotion. Why was he getting rid of her all of a sudden?

"Will...will you come for the funeral?" She dared to ask.

"It's a waste of time and property, so no. I don't think so."

Her mom squeezed her hands and they both smiled, ignoring the mafia and his clipped reply.

~

It was time to go home. Pamela had packed what little she had with her and was walking to where the car was parked. Peter was escorting her.

She was free at last. Free from the hell hole she had been forced into. Finally, her dad will rest; she was so sure his spirit has been disturbed after being preserved for so long.

You're my antidote Pam Pam

She jerked her head up. Something was not right. Why was Devlin getting rid of her all of a sudden? Why was he when they just shared a kiss? Was he mad he had shown her his soft side? Had she pried too deep?

"Get in my lady." One stoutly James Bond-ly dressed guard said, about to open the car door for her.

"You can stop the title James. I'm never coming back."

Peter and she both laughed while the guard turned red in embarrassment.

"They have name tags, you know." Peter opened the door for her.

"James suits him, he has the perfect build, just like James Valdez in Queen Of The south movie."

"Didn't know you were a fan of movies."

"Everyone's full of surprises aren't they?" She leaned in to hug him warmly and he kissed her on the cheek. "See you soon, Pamela." She gave him a huge grin and got in.

Her mom was already in the car. She was grinning like an idiot. Pamela asked her why she was grinning like an idiot.

She took Pamela's hands in hers. "I can't wait to see him again."

"That's making you grin? How bizarre are you?"

She shrugged, her smile waning. "He was the love of my life, you know."

"Too bad it ended abruptly." She replied sarcastically.

"Yeah, death took him away." Dorothea sighed sadly, either not noticing the sarcasm or noticing it and choosing to ignore it.

"And before that, divorce." Pamela stubbornly pressed.

Dorothea removed her hand from Pamela's grip. "Don't start, Pamela."

"What happened?" Tears filled her eyes. "I watched Dad suffer for months because of the divorce. Even I couldn't fill the huge gap you left. I could never understand why you let him suffer."

"And I didn't?" Her mother exploded, tears rolling down her face. "I sacrificed my happy home just for you to be happy."

"I never asked you to do that."

"Well I did and here we are."

Dorothea buried her face in her palms wept, and when she raised her head, her face was ashen and sad. Pamela felt bad for causing her mom so much pain but she was also in pain. There was a lot she didn't understand and it was driving her nuts. But that was no reason to treat her mother like garbage.

"I'm sorry." She whispered. "It's just I -" She paused, searching for the right words to describe how she felt. "I don't know."

"Can we change the topic please?" begged her Mom.

At that point, the driver and guards entered the bulletproof car and the car started moving. Pamela turned her face to the heavily tinted window wiping her eyes and gripping the door handle with such force that her hands shook.

She was mad. She was tired. She was frustrated. She was going crazy.

But all her unhealthy emotions evaporated when she saw Devlin from the window. He was watching the car exit his den, his expression stony and unreadable. Pamela noticed with a pang that her face wasn't covered this time; she had been allowed to see the way in and out of the den, just like on the day of the gala. It seemed like he trusted her now.

And as Devlin's figure became more and more distant, Pamela realized, without admitting it, that she was catching the feelings he didn't even throw at her. And it wasn't frustration or anger or insanity, it wasn't even love. It was just a feeling of realization, that someway, somehow, despite the insanity of it, she was going to miss him.

~

Please vote, comment your thoughts, add to your library and reading lists, and share. Thank you.