Devlin stroked Pamela's hair and kissed her forehead as tears coursed down her cheeks, just as the tapering sun started to sink the skyline. He lay his head on hers, not wanting to let go of her, and neither did she if the way she tightened her arms around him was any indication. He raised his head and held her back in a position such that he would be looking straight at her.

"Take this, please. You have to."

It was three hours after he had found her sobbing in the suite and she hadn't stopped since then. Yes, he'd reassured her that he would never leave her, yes, he'd promised to stay alive and survive for her but he had decided to let her know what was going on: he still planned on attacking Bull. But he was not going unprepared; he had a backup plan and that backup plan was what he was handing over to Pamela.

She shook her head from side to side and used her hand to press back the sob that was surely going to cause a headache for her. She looked at the letter that Devlin was holding out to her like it was a bomb and shrank away when he tried to press it into her hand.

"Please," he said, his eyes earnest.

She swallowed noisily and blinked tears from her eyes. "I - I couldn't." her mouth turned downwards like a baby crying for a tittie. She buried her face in his chest.

Devlin sighed and he leaned her head back so she would be looking up at him, wiping the tears from her cheeks, but the sobs began again and he took her in his arms and patted her back. She clung to him and wept bitterly.

"Is all of these necessary?" She said choking back a sob and wrapping her arms around him, pulling him as close as she could.

"He has to pay," he said, anger flooding his face as he remembered the havoc Bull had wrecked in his life. "He needs to be punished, he has to pay."

Pamela sat back, her eyes misty. "Are you going to kill him?"

The proper answer would have been no, but he wasn't sure how the fight would turn out. He could get really angry and blow the dickhead's brains out. But he would do his best to control himself because the last thing he needed was to have murder be added to his lists of murders, and crimes, for that matter, and be sent to prison especially now that he had someone to live for. That reminded him of the escape plan.

"Pamela," he held up the brown envelope and handed it to her. "You have to take this."

She shook her head no. "I will not."

"Please,"

"No!" She outcried and stood. "Taking this is a sign of me accepting that your original plan will go down in flames. I cannot live with that." There were tears in her eyes and her voice was wobbly.

"I cannot take chances, Pamela." He stood to meet her but she moved out of his reach. "You have to take this, please."

"Why are you doing this to me?" The tears seeping down her face made her breathing shallow and ragged. "Why are you giving me the stupid backup letter when you have your best friend and your most trusted guard? Why -" She shut her eyes briefly to stop the choking sobs. "Why?" She added with a heart-wrenching whisper.

Devlin reached out to her and held her in a tight embrace, swallowing the painful lump in his throat and blinking tears from his eyes. He buried his nose in her hair and inhaled the scent, like a dog about to be used to search for a particular scent; he took it all in, wanting it to be ingrained into his memory for the rest of eternity. He held on tight to her, drawing strength and comfort. To her, he might seem ready and strong, but the truth was that he was scared shitless. He was a fraidy cat, he knew that but he had to get revenge for everything that had happened to him; he couldn't just let it go. Bull needed to have a taste of his foul-smelling medicine which he had forcefully gulped down his throat and that of everyone he holds dear.

Pamela might not seem to care right now, but he knew that on the day her mother would be buried, she would blame him for everything and wish Bull had suffered the same fate her mother had. Sometimes sorrow and anguish make one reveal more than one intends.

The wedding had made her forget, albeit temporarily, about her mother's corpse lying cold in the mortuary but she would remember and Devlin wanted to make sure that when she did, she would not hate him for appearing in her life and tying on his apron strings and dragging in with him, the whole nine yards of misery.

"Can't you just leave him for the authorities?" she said against his chest.

"The authorities could never melt out the kind of punishment that fucker deserves. Only I can." His voice was rough with emotion.

She tightened her arms around him. "Devlin, I'm scared."

He drew her closer. "You don't have to be, I'll be fine." He held her at arm's length and wiped her tears with his thumb, relieved that her sobs had ceased. "All these years, when I had no reason to survive, I did. How much more now that I have you?"

"All the more reason you should stay."

He let go of her long enough to retrieve the discarded letter from the bed. He pressed it into her palm and this time she held on to it.

"I did not give anyone else this letter because you're the only one I fully trust with all of my beings." He shrugged. "Sure, I trust Peter and Cody and my boys, but you? You're my whole life. You're my everything -"

Pamela looked away but not before he saw the fresh tears wetting her face. "Stop."

"The only one who still loves me even after knowing everything I have done wrong -"

"Please, stop." The tears continued to seep down Pamela's cheeks but she didn't sob. She sat on the easy chair and placed the brown envelope on the vanity table in the room.

Devlin knelt before her. "Most importantly, you're the love of my life. My wife. My everything."

She placed her hands over her ears. "I don't want to hear it," Her lower lips wobbled. "It's too hard to understand that you're leaving your everything."

Devlin knew that if he decided to listen to her, he would not get things done so he stood and moved to the wet bar. "I'll be back, I promise. Please try to understand." His back to her, he reached for a drawer and laced a wine glass with zolpidem, a drug he'd thankfully had the sixth sense to bring along with him when he'd thought of how he would leave without Pamela tagging along. He turned around and went to meet her where she sat. "Here, drink this."

She shook her head. "I hate alcohol."

He sat beside her and tucked her brown hair behind her ear. "It's red wine and it has little alcohol content. I want you to take it because it will help you relax. Besides, I heard it reduces cramps during the menstrual period."

Devlin felt inches taller when she smiled. "How do you know that?" She took the glass from him.

He shrugged. "Well, I'm no expert but -" He held his breath as she took a sip. "But I heard it's good for women."

She downed the whole glass and grimaced. "Stale."

"Sorry," He said not sorry at all, knowing that the staleness was from the foreign body in the liquid. "I should have let it cool in the fridge."

She nodded and scratched her eyes. "My eyes are itchy from crying too much. They're swollen and red right?" She turned to give the vanity table's mirror a quick check then turned back, opening her eyes wide and looking straight into Devlin's eyes so that he would inspect them.

His brows puckered as he pretended to study them. "Red eyes, swollen no. I think what you need right now is rest."

Her face creased. "I don't want us to waste time resting, let us talk more. Tell me for instance -" She stifled a yawn and her hand that held the wine glass went limp. "What your plans are, and where Bull's location is."

"I can't." Devlin removed the glass from her hand before it hit the floor and took it back to the bar.

"Can't?" This time she couldn't suppress the yawn that escaped her. "Or won't? I want to make sure your plan is good and I can't know that if you won't tell me."

"It is good. I even added a backup plan to it." He said and rested his back against the wall and hooked his thumbs into his pockets.

She pointed at the envelope on the vanity table and frowned. "I don't trust that paper."

"Don't beat a dead horse, Pamela." He paused for a few seconds and said softly, "By the time you wake up I'll be gone."

She shot to her feet. "You dare not! I won't sleep then. I'll keep my eyes open until - until -" she became unsteady on her feet like she was drunk. Devlin went towards her and held her to give her balance.

She looked up at him, confusion evident in her eyes. "I feel weird, what's happening to me?"

He carried her and placed her gently on the bed. "You're going to bed."

"No, no! I don't want to... I don't - did you - drug m-me?"

He used the sheets to cover her as her eyes grew drowsy. "Sleep well, my queen." He whispered and kissed her forehead.

"Dev - lin." She said before falling into a peaceful slumber.

Through blurry eyes, Devlin watched the rising and falling of her chest and for the first time in a very long time, he was truly frightened. All he wanted to do right now was to lie beside her and hug her to himself, surrender himself to the sweet arms of slumber as she had, and forget that he had to do any of these.

All he wanted, to the gills, was a normal life. All he wanted was to be happy. To wake up in the morning and not be burdened by his past and the bad choices he'd made in his life. All he wanted was to love his wife and be happy. All he wanted -

A sob from deep in his lungs caught in his throat, escaping in a strangled cry, and tears flowed from his eyes. He didn't want to leave, didn't want any of these to happen, but if he didn't strike back and end all these, Bull might strike again and bust up his life more than he'd done previously. It was high time he was a man and bit the bullet; that way he would be protecting the ones he loved and would be getting revenge for the ones he lost.

He wiped his eyes free of tears and buried his face in her neck. He kissed her lips, her nose, her cheeks, and her forehead and took her hand in his. He kissed her palm and the wedding ring.

"Pray for me my love," He whispered. "Pray for me, please."

Hours later, he was back in one of his safe houses with Cody, Peter, his men who had survived the attack on the safe house, and some reinforcement a mafia friend of his had given him. They were drawing up the final proceedings for the invasion, as something of this caliber cannot be done by the drop of a hat. It needed careful planning and preparation.

Thinking of how peaceful he's always been to other mafia bosses - to the extent that one gave him some of his men, Devlin couldn't help but wonder what he ever did to Bull. Was it because he was protecting Pamela? No, Bull had been after him for years.

Devlin balled his fists as he thought of all the things Bull had done against him and he burned inside with anger at the reminder.

"Boss?"

He looked sideways at Cody, ready to eat him alive. "What?" he growled.

He pointed down reluctantly. "You just crumpled the extra copy of the blueprints of Bull's lair."

He released his bunched fists immediately and the paper fell to the floor. Devlin cleared his throat. "Let's continue." Cody bent to retrieve the fallen piece of paper.

This was not the time nor was it the place to blow a fuse. The plan was the most important thing right now. They had spent over two million USD on arms and ammunition like guns, grenades, and smoke bombs amongst others. They had everything to take Bull by surprise, all they had to do was to stay alive, and they would if everyone followed the plan to a fine fare-thee-well.

He was ready, and so were his men. It was high time he got it out of his system, and by dawn, he would finally be eyeball to eyeball with his sworn enemy.

~

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